I think I should feel scared, or worried, or something. But all I feel is Cupid's body heat, washing over me as he steps closer so our bodies are touching. I can feel the hardness of his stomach muscles through his white top.
I can't get distracted though; not by his eyes, or the way his chest is rising and falling with each heavy breath. I need to focus on what he just said.
It's Valentine isn't it? Then we're in trouble...
I compose myself.
Focus, Lila.
I step backwards slightly and he sighs.
"I should go," he says. "I need to deal with this."
Disappointment swells inside me. Disappointment that he's leaving. Disappointment that he isn't kissing me right now. He said earlier that I was the one holding back – and I know that is kind of true. But he is doing the same – I can tell.
It's hard sometimes, to let people in, his words repeat in my mind.
"And...I hate to say this," he adds, breaking through my thoughts, "but stay close to my brother. Charlie, too. You should continue with your training while I'm gone. If this is Valentine – I don't want you alone. He's dangerous. And unpredictable. He'll have something planned – something big – and if it involves you..."
I feel him tense below my touch – the muscles in his arm clenching below my fingers. Anger flashes behind his eyes. He takes a step away from me – creating an even bigger distance between us – and grabs my shoulders.
"You'll be careful. Promise me."
The ferocity of his expression throws me back and reels me in at the same time. I nod.
"I promise."
He nods – relief washing across his face.
Looking at me a moment longer - an uncharacteristic hesitance flickers amid the green flecks in his irises. He leans forward, as though he's about to kiss me. My heart pounds. But then he pauses, his chest rising and falling hard, his eyes studying my face. There's a wildness in his expression, a storm contained within. I can see an internal struggle. And then he seems to compose himself.
Softly he lets go of my arms, taking the heat from his body away.
I find my breaths are coming out shallow and fast. My skin is buzzing. The tension is still there in the air – crackling around us like electricity.
My heart thuds. I need to say it, I need to just say it; before he goes away, before we are plunged into danger once more. I need to say the words that have lingered on my lips for the past couple of months.
"Cupid?" I say. I breathe in deeply. "What is this between us?"
A flicker of surprise crosses his eyes. His thick brows raise.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean...what's going on between us? Sometimes you act like you want to...you know...be with me. And sometimes you don't. You're kinda giving me mixed signals here."
He shakes his head incredulously.
"I'm giving you mixed signals?!" he says. "I thought maybe you wanted to take things slow. And that's OK with me...it's not like I'm not getting any older..." I detect a hint of sadness in his tone, a touch of regret. "Plus," he adds, "I wanted to kiss you earlier, but it seemed like you didn't want to..." He raises an eyebrow. "But you do now?"
"I...uh..."
Yes. No.
I don't know.
I look up into his eyes, burning into mine. He frowns, his eyebrows furrowing.
"Do you want to be with me, Lila?" he says.
"I...it's just...you...everything that happened. It's confusing...and you keep hiding things from me, and now someone is coming to kill me again, and you're going away, and..." I feel myself getting increasingly agitated, worked up, talking myself into a hole I can't quite climb out of. God, shut up Lila! "And something could happen to you, and I don't know if I can trust you, and..."
Before I can say another word his hand slips into my hair and he pulls my face closer to his. My breath catches in my throat as his lips brush against mine. And then our mouths are moving against one another as I desperately taste his kisses. I clasp my hands around his neck as he extends his other arm around my waist – pulling my body closer.
I've kissed him a couple of times since that night on his terrace - when his skin tasted like salt and the rain – but since that night it hasn't felt like this: urgent, deep, intense. It has felt like we were holding something back.
Not now. Now his body is tense, his skin as hot as fire. His mouth is not soft, but hard. His tongue explores my mouth, and his fingers grip my waist, digging into my skin as though he's afraid I will fall away.
Our breathing is hard, fast.
I feel his desperation. I feel his fear that something bad is going to happen.
And then he rips himself away; his chest rising and falling fast as he leans his forehead against mine. I look into his eyes and I see a flicker of fear there, a touch of vulnerability.
"Cupid?" I say, my voice breathless. "What is it?"
"I...this...one day..." his voice is lower than usual, ragged.
My pulse is racing, spreading fire throughout my veins.
"Cupid?"
I touch his face. His skin is burning.
He forces a smile and shakes his head.
"Nothing," he says.
He takes a step back, the vulnerability disappearing from his expression – and suddenly he's back to himself once more. He looks up over my shoulder. A pained look crosses his face as he gestures behind me.
"Make sure my brother drives you home," he says.
I turn to see Cal and Charlie both walking out of the alleyway into the square. Charlie's chattering away, but Cal's silver eyes are on us.
I feel a swell of disappointment that we won't get to finish our goodbye in private. There's more that needs to be said. Something made Cupid pull away just then, and I want to know what. I want his arms around me again.
But he takes another step back.
"I swear he's got some kind of super sense that tells him the most opportune moments for him to come and bug me..." says Cupid. Then he flashes me a grin. "I'll be back before you know it. Be good, OK?"
Cupid holds my gaze for a moment longer, his ocean eyes burning in the dim light of the moon, then - as though it costs him great effort - he turns.
He gives a half-hearted wave to Cal and Charlie, and heads toward his car, parked by the edge of the square. I watch in silence a moment as he reverses, my heart pounding against my chest.
He drives away into the darkness; away from me, toward Valentine.
Author note:
Hi guys! Lauren here. Happy Friday!
The Audiobook giveaway is now closed!
Winners were chosen completely at random. I entered all the entrants into a spreadsheet and used a random number generator to select the winners.
Thanks everyone for entering!
In particular there were some pretty cool graphics sent to me on Twitter. If you sent me one and don't mind me pasting it into my Cupids Matchmaking Service Blog here on my Wattpad profile, please let me know! I have a Cupid's Match art page in it, and I'd love to share them further!
I'm sorry that you can't all win a copy of the Audiobook! I hope to get hold of a few more in the future to giveaway!
So without further ado....
Drumroll please....
The lucky winners are:
Wattpad giveaway: B_alva
Twitter giveaway: ERIN (stocksy112)
Congratulations!
I will be private messaging you shortly with details for your free Cupid's Match Audiobook!!!!!
See you all on Monday for the next Valentine's Day chapter!
I'm also hoping to have some news to share with you then too....
(how very mysterious!)
(lol what even is this gif?!)
Lots of love!
Lauren