:A N A S T A R K:
Fun never lasts for too long, I should know about that better than anyone else.
When you're born on a noble house and are expected to do things, fun is surely one part of life that you have to grow out off at a young age. Instead of playing around like most kids would do, scrapping knees on the river or dreaming about being knights, our fun would have to be found while studying and getting a proper education that would go side by side with proper manners. I knew the names of castles and their lords better than I knew names of people I considered friends, in all honesty I don't even think I had friends outside of my family but I had made my peace with it a long time ago.
Everyone noticed that father was not present before we even walked inside the hall to name the wolves, but once he showed up the fun started and it seemed like it could last as laughter echoed on the halls, but as soon as father stood up from the table, his eyes looking down at all of us it was clear that something troubling was on his mind.
"Your mother has informed me that a raven came from King's Landing" he spoke "king Robert and his family are coming to Winterfell because the Hand of the King has passed away"
Then silence.
Looks were shared amongst us as each of us pondered on dad's words. I knew Rickon couldn't understand, Bran and Arya probably could, Sansa had her own mind set at the words of nobility coming to visit but me and Robb had a different look on our faces.
Jon Arryn had been the Hand of the King since Robert's Rebellion was won and not only that but I knew that father saw this man as his own father.
To explain all of this some history lessons would be needed but to try and cut it short: the Targaryen had been the Kings and Queens of Westeros since they managed to conquer it long ago and it was all going rather nicely for the dragon blooded people until Aerys Targaryen came to have the Iron Throne. We had heard many tales about him and his madness and how everyone was falling in poor leadership but what caused the North to rebel was when my aunt Lyanna Stark was kidnaped by the prince Rhaegar Targaryen.
I sat a lot of times in the crypts looking at the stone statue of aunt Lyanna, never having the chance to know her but feeling like I did. She was told to be as free and wild as the wolf, her northern spirit unlike any other and maybe that was what attracted the young and already married Targaryen prince. Lyanna was promised to the now king Robert Baratheon and he did not enjoy the news about his beloved being taken away, and the Stark family did not fall behind in those matters of rage. Brandon Stark, dad's older brother, marched to King's Landing to try his best to get his sister back to safety and demanded that the prince would be punished for his crimes but the mad king accused him of treason and called my grandfather, Rickard Stark, to go to the Red Keep to answer for his son's 'crimes'.
It was a terrible day for house Stark as both Rickard and Brandon suffered a terrible death that was unimaginable to any other person. Father didn't tell us this story, we knew it because it was the rebellion that had put Robert on the throne and it was considered of quite importance for us to remember.
After all, the North Remembers.
My father was then a moving target for the mad king who was afraid he would do something in revenge for his lost brother and father. The king was right to be scared. Father and Robert united and with the help of Jon Arryn and my mother's house, house Tully, the rebellion began leading to battles and the almost extermination of house Targaryen.
So we knew from knowing all of this that the only reason king Robert would march so far north was because of father, he would want to replace his old hand, the one he considered his own father as well, for the hand of whom he considered his brother. And we all know that being Hand of the King is not the best of jobs due to how unsafe it can be.
"In one month time they will be here" father spoke again "so we will welcome them in the best manners we can"
We all nodded, no one having the courage to ask anything or defy any of his orders. Fun did end quickly when you're a high born.
-.-
A few days went by and in the mornings we seemed to forget what would be arriving in only a few weeks time. The nightly conversations I had with Robb now also consisted of the small fear I had of what the arrival of the royal family could bring into the family. If father was to be the Hand of the King he would have to travel south, to leave us, to leave the North behind and all he's ever really known and called home and then I would come to realize another truth behind this possibility.
Being the eldest lady of the Stark family I would have to marry a lord, probably to ensure an alliance of two houses and this would mean leaving Winterfell and almost becoming someone new. I knew this was to be my fate since I was young, we were told that it was an honor to be a high born lady and be able to parent children that would keep on the house name of our husbands, but it never really seemed like such an honor to me. It seemed like my fate had been twisted and simply laughed at my face every time I would think of it.
I was at an age where I was ready to be married but no good alliance had come our way so father seemed to still be quiet on the issue but something in me told me had that he his own schemes and ideas planned of who I would come to marry one day. We did not speak of the subject at all but it was clear that something bad was to come of it.
Tonight the conversation with Robb led to this path once more as I sat in my bed, my knee bouncing up and down at a speed that mother would somehow consider improper due to the wind like motion that it caused on my dress. I never understood most things that people were to find improper. Robb walked around the room being followed by Grey Wind as he was training him to stand by his side and stop when commanded, Syrena was already asleep on my bed, her face on one of the pillows next to the one I used for myself.
"Ana your leg is going to jump off if you do not stop that" he let out a sigh as he looked at me "what is troubling you so much?"
"What if the king also brings a marriage proposition with him?" I finally spoke up, my leg coming to a halt as my eyes met my brothers "for houses to become allies"
"And to whom would that proposition go?"
My shoulders moved down, the answer written all over my face as I expected Robb to see it and when he did he let out a long deep breath knowing where all of this conversation was heading to.
He came to sit next to me, his eyes still glued to Grey Wind as he was chewing down an old rag that Robb had given him as a reward for a good training, that wolf really liked to chew on things. For a while we simply stood in silence, my eyes looking at Robb as he kept on looking down at his wolf, but his eyes seemed to be elsewhere in deep thought and I knew he was trying to come up with the right words to say to me in the nerve wrecking state that he knew this topic usually made me. But no matter how many words of advice I was given, nothing could change the fact that the future would play on and I would end up marrying someone entirely different from what I'd always known.
"I know it does not help, but I'll end up marrying someone I most likely don't know as well" he said as he tried to ease the worry I was feeling.
"It's simply that-" I let out a sigh, my eyes now being the ones looking down " -I'll have to do all the things lovers do with someone I most likely will feel no affection towards"
I wasn't looking at him but I could see his head moving as he nodded at my words. This had already been discussed as well, we knew the process to make children, it was not a subject to talk out loud amongst the court due to the lack of manners it would set on ourselves, but given the fact I pretty much grew up with the boys I knew very well about the world of pleasures.
Theon had been the first one to brag about what he could do, how he could please any girl that would be given to him due to his experience at the brothels and that conversation would always end up with him trying to intimidate me with his dirty words but he always failed. I did not know if Robb had bedded someone yet, I knew he was good with women as he was very easy on the eyes and many from our grounds were deeply attracted to him but I knew he wasn't the type to go to brothels since he was big on keeping the honor of the family intact.
My brother knew the lack of importance I gave to a woman's purity but he knew I would like it to be taken by someone decent, someone who didn't take it simply to produce heirs to keep their name and greed alive.
All of my thoughts stopped once Robb's hand came to rest on my dress covered thigh, my eyes going instantly to it and then to his own that did the same thing as mine. Millions of questions were rushing through my head as to reason of the sudden movement of his hand on such a place but before I could ask any of them his face inched closer to my own making me hold my breath.
Many thoughts were going through my mind as his face was merely inches from mine but the main one was the one were I was trying to fully understand what he was doing; trying to understand the reason for the sudden lack of space between us as we found ourselves in the most indecent posture someone could find us in, a posture that would make people think we were about to share affection like lovers do.
"What are you doing?" I finally found my voice to ask me as his face was still close to my own, his blue eyes either locked on my brown ones or going towards my lips making me gulp at his actions.
"I don't want a shit lord you don't like to take away your good memories" he simply said as he came closer, my breathing almost stopping all together when his lips pressed on my neck.
"Robb" I stuttered his name as my hands came to rest on his chest with ideas to push him away but that was until his lips started to press under my ear causing my eyes to close at the feeling.
The feeling was something entirely new. The said feeling of pleasure people talked about was running through me as Robb nibbled at the spot underneath my ear, my own head rolling to the side to grant him more access to the skin. But the sensation was also laced with fear and the knowledge of how wrong the entire situation was. He was my brother, and a brother is not supposed to give you these kinds of feelings or even produce the thoughts that were rolling through my brain in that moment.
I ended up caving to the feeling, my hands going from his chest to gently tug at his dark curls as he started to nibble alongside my jaw and pecking at my cheeks gently. My eyes remained closed the entire time as I was almost scared to face him and show him that I was actually enjoying what we were not supposed to even have stubbled upon.
Then his lips fell on my own for the first time making a small gasp to come from my own at the sudden feeling. It was not my first kiss, that one was simply a peck that had occurred due to a bet but it was the first kiss that transformed softness into roughness as our lips started to move faster against each other. Robb's hands were on either side of my waist, his fingers caressing my covered skin as my own still tugged at his hair or cupped his cheeks or even his neck in attempts to bring him closer as the kiss went further and tongues started to move almost in dance like movements.
But as we kept kissing I found myself thinking back to that foolish first peck. The memories of being riding in the woods, Robb and Theon on their horses and me riding my own as we made a bet to see which would be faster between the two boys. The boy who won would choose his own price that would have to be given by me and in all naive honestly I thought my brother would be the one to win the foolish race, that he would decide something to actually make fun of Theon but when I saw Theon's grey horse going to the tress that we had assembled as a finish line all blood stopped flowing in my veins. Theon had won the race and that meant he would be able to choose a price and he did, the chose to ask me for a kiss. Now this caused Robb to almost lash out at Theon for asking for such a thing from me, his own sister, but both boys were left in silence when I dismounted my horse, asking Theon to do the same thing. Robb watched carefully, probably expecting me and Theon to start a fight, so it was shocking for all of us when I reached forward and joined my lips to the said winner of the race.
Theon had been and always will be the first kiss I shared with someone and for some reason as I was kissing Robb what was weighting more on me was not the fact that we were siblings, but a strange guilt shaped like Theon Greyjoy.
I pulled away from him, ragged breathings being heard all around the room as he looked at me like he had committed the most terrible of crimes.
"Gods" he stuttered "I'm-I'm sorry Ana. I-I don't really know what came over me, I-"
My hand pressed on his lips shutting him up as I looked at him. His eyes searched my own, probably expecting me to yell at him for his actions but I couldn't do it because I simply did not think wrong about them.
"You do not need to apologize" I spoke softly as I removed my hand from his lips "you simply wanted to give me better memories because you care for me"
He nodded his head at my words and then stood up, a shaken look still written all over his face from the events that had just happened between us.
From this moment on we knew we had a deeper secret between the both of us, a secret that could never be discovered by no one. This was the kind of secret we would take to our graves and the kind of secret that we both knew would live only forever in our minds.
With wishes of a good sleep and a kiss on my forehead he took Grey Wind on his arms and headed towards his chambers leaving me in the candle lit room all by myself with only thoughts of what had just happened. I fully understood that no romance could ever happen between me and my own brother, it was forbidden, wrong even to many people's eyes, and we both knew that what we felt for each other was probably just the desire to make the other happy and there were no romantic feelings towards each other.
So I simply went to sleep, my conscious weighting not with the fact I had kissed my brother but with the fact that what stopped me from going further was the boy I thought to not care at all.