DON'T PLAY SONG YET!!!!!
Recap: So its true..
I'm dead after all..
Im gone
Gone...
Gone.
Aaron's POV
Aphmau closed her eyes and my heart raced as I checked her pulse.
"She's not breathing!" I yelled and a police officer came over.
"What do you mean she's not breathing?" He asked.
"I mean that she has NO pulse! Her heart isnt beating! Her skin is cold! Her lungs have no air! SHE IS NOT BREATHING!" I yelled, frustrated.
I looked at her wrists.
They had cuts all over them.
Self harm cuts.
I've seen cuts like these before.
On people that are so depressed they try to kill themselves.
No wonder she never spoke.
If she did she would be hurt more and more and more.
Why did I not see it before?
Why was I so mean to her?
Why did I not care if she lived when she was alive?
Am I the cause of death for another person in the world?
Did she give up on life because of me?
Or were her wounds too much to handle?
I left the room because I couldn't bear to see her like that, knowing that her death might've partially been MY fault.
"Aaron! She's breathing! She's alive! Aphmau is alive!" Garroth yelled.
My heart raced.
She's alive.
"Aphmau!" I said and hugged her, "dont EVER leave us again!"
She slightly nodded.
"She wont be able to speak again because of the cut inflicted on her throat." A police officer said.
"There has to be a chance she can talk again!" I said.
"Only if there was a miracle she might talk again." Garroth said.
But the only thing that matters...
Is that she's alive..
Six months later...
Aphmau's POV
I was put into a different class at school.
It was a program to help people with a disability.
Like the people that can't walk.
Or the people that can't see.
Or the people that can't talk
Like me.
"Aphmau Phoenix?" The teacher said as she called attendance.
I raised my hand.
"Okay, Oh, and Aphmau?" The teacher asked.
I looked at her, so she knew I was listening.
"There is someone in the office that would like to see you." She said and I nodded and left the class.
As I walked down the hallway I got many stares as people whispered about the scar across my throat.
I entered the office and saw the principal talking to someone.
"Aphmau will be allowed early dismissal so she can pack her bags at the home for girls. Thank you for your cooperation, Mrs. Phoenix." The principal said to the person she was talking to.
"Ah, Aphmau! This is Mrs. Phoenix! Your birth mother! You two met in the hospital, correct?" Mrs. Lila, the principal asked.
I nodded.
"Why isn't she talking?" The lady asked.
"She has a deep cut in her throat from an attempted murder when she was in the hospital. Her 'mother' tried to murder her but was arrested. Aphmau lost the ability to speak." Mrs. Lila said.
"Anyways, Aphmau, lets go pack your bags! You get to come home!" The lady said with a smile.
I nodded.
"Aphmau, here's a notepad. I'm sure there are MANY things you want to tell people but can't since you never got a new notepad. My apologies for that." Mrs. Lila said and handed me a purple notebook with a purple pen.
I silently thanked her, obviously, and left the school with my mother.
My REAL mother.
We went to the home for girls that I had been living at for the past six months.
"Lucky! You get to leave this place!" My friend Sigherra said.
She had been there since she was two.
Now she is thirteen.
I forced a smile.
I was honestly gonna miss this place.
I had made so many friends while I was here for those six months.
'Im gonna miss you guys.' I wrote in the notepad.
"Promise me you'll visit!" Sigherra said and hugged me.
I nodded.
I packed my things and put them in mother's black mustang.
"Aphmau, I'm so happy you get to come home. You can finally be with your REAL family." Mother said.
I smiled.
I'm happy I'm going somewhere I belong.
'What's your first name?' I wrote.
"It's Sylvanna." Mother said.
"Sylvanna Phoenix." Mother said and hugged me.
'When I was in the hospital, how did you find me?' I wrote.
"It was quite easy, really. It was on the news that a sixteen year old girl with raven black hair and hazel eyes had been shot and fell off the roof of Phoenix Drop High and was put into the Falcon Hospital." She said.
'Im glad you came.' (The sun goes down, the stars come out, and all that counts is here and now, my universe will never be the same, I'm glad you cake, I'm glad you came. No..? Should I stop now..? Okay I'll stahp. Carry on.)
"I would never let you stay in an abusive home. Say, are you gonna date that Aaron fellow? He seems nice. Oooh! Oooh! Or that Garroth guy!" Mother said.
I shook my head.
'Aaron? Never. Garroth? No. Aaron was a childhood friend but then he bullied me on my first day of highschool up until he found out it was me. Why would I date my bully? And as for Garroth? He's just my friend. Besides, I can't speak. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to last long in a relationship.' I wrote and rolled my eyes.
I still cant see out of my left eye.
"True true. But maybe you'll be able to talk again some day. Hey, how about I invite them both to dinner at home saturday night and see how it goes?" Mother asked.
I shook my head.
Mother gave up on trying to set up a dinner and the drive to her house was silent.
Obviously.
Her house is nice.
She has two floors and my bedroom has a balcony.
I just lay there on my bed for hours everyday and think about how much I have to lose that I havent already.
My 'father' was murdered, my 'mother' was an abusive psychopath, I almost died twice in the same day, what else do I have to lose?
One month later...
I had lost fifteen pounds in a month because I had been depriving myself of food for a month now and Sylvanna is going take me to the doctor today.
PLAY SONG NOW!!!
I sat in the waiting room for half an hour before the doctor called my name.
"Aphmau Phoenix?" he asked and Sylvanna and I followed the doctor to another room where he checked my height and weight.
"Mrs. Phoenix, could you please go in the waiting room for now? I need to speak with Aphmau." The doctor said.
"How long have you been depressed?" he asked as soon as Sylvanna left.
Wow.
Way to be blunt there.
'One month.' I wrote.
"Hmmmm.. I would've thought it was at least four months of depression." he said.
he handed me a bottle of pills.
"Your fine, take one of these at morning one at night. These pills will help you remember how to smile." He said.
I nodded and left.
"So, what are those pills for?" Sylvanna asked.
'They're to help me with my eating disorder' I lied as I wrote those few words down.
She nodded approvingly, telling me she bought the lie.
Hehehe.
Baka.
Aaron's POV
I miss Aph.
I havent seen her since she got out of the hospital seven months ago.
I just hope she's alright..
I still feel REALLY bad for bullying her before I knew it was her.
I want to see her again.
Aphmau's POV
When we got home I ran to my room and grabbed my razor blade.
Being mute really helps me out in this situation because I never have to tell Sylvanna what I'm doing.
I sat down at the edge of my bed and held the razor to my wrist.
One cut.
Two cuts.
Three cuts.
Four.
Each cut I gave myself I thought of a name of someone who has negatively affected my life.
Cut one: Aaron.
Cut two: Mother.
Cut three: Bullies.
Cut four: Myself..
Yes, I have negatively affected my own life.
I cut the names of the people next to each cut that represented them.
Sylvanna is fine with me calling her by her first name since it was awkward calling her 'mother' because of my childhood.
Besides, not like I can ACTUALLY call her that.
It's not like I can speak or anything.
There was a knock on my bedroom door.
I hurriedly put bandages on my cuts and pulled my sleeves down over them.
I opened my bedroom door and saw the one person I dont want to see again.
Aaron Lycan.
"Hey Aph.." he said and awkwardly scratched his neck.
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.
'What do you want?' I wrote.
"To...see you." He said.
I really wanted to punch him in the face.
'Why? So you can continue to ruin my life? So you can continue to bully the mute?' I wrote.
"No! Of course not! I just came here so I could apologize for that!" He said loudly.
I gave him a look that said, 'really'.
He sure isn't acting like it.
"I should just go..." he said.
'Yes. You should. Now leave. Get OUT of my house.' I wrote and glared at him as he left.
I smiled to myself as I saw the hurt in his eyes when he saw the glare I gave him.
I closed my bedroom door and locked it then went to my balcony.
I climbed up onto the balcony railing and stood up, looking down onto the ground below.
No one would miss me anyway.
Im not the girl I wish that I could be.
Im sick of crying.
Tired of trying.
Yes im smiling.
But on the inside I'm dying.
Why not make it like that on the outside too?
I spread my arms out and looked at the sky.
No, this isnt how I should die.
Jumping is NOT the way to do it.
I closed my balcony doors as I went back into my room and grabbed a chair.
I stood up on it and tied a rope to the fan in the center of my room.
"Aphmau, dinner!" Sylvanna called from downstairs.
I finished tying the rope and stepped off the chair, going downstairs for dinner.
We were having my favourite food for dinner.
Spaghetti.
I just picked at my food until Sylvanna looked at me.
"Aphmau, Mija, whats wrong?" She asked.
'Nothing. Im not hungry. Can I please be excused?' I wrote.
Sylvanna shook her head.
"No. Your not excused until youve eaten at LEAST half of your spaghetti." She said.
I slowly ate my food and when I finished she let me leave.
I immediately closed myself in my bathroom when I got upstairs.
I grabbed a toothbrush and stuck the end of it down my throat until my food came up.
Gross, I know.
But hey, I have depression AND an eating disorder.
What do you expect?
I went back into the main part of my room and stood up on the chair again.
I looked out at the moon.
Just dont think, it'll be over soon.
I had a thought and stepped off the chair and sat down at my desk.
If im going to commit suicide then I should at least write a note to Sylvanna.
'Dear Sylvanna,
Yes, im gone.
But its not your fault.
I just couldn't deal with the pain of being alive any longer.
You were the best mother a girl could have.
I'm sorry for having to make you go through this pain alone.
Just know that you meant everything to me,
And in my heart your the only one that held the key.
Now its time to go, im running out of space to write.
Yes I lost my fight, but please just hold on tight.
Im watching over you from the clouds above, and sending down the purest and whitest dove, to watch over you and be my helpful eye.
I will miss you, mom.
I guess this is it.
Goodbye world.
Sincerely, Aphmau Shu Phoenix' I wrote and set it on top of my notebook as I stood back up onto the chair.
I tied the rope around my neck and prepared myself for my last breath.
I closed my eyes and was about to kick the chair out from under me when I heard the click of a door opening.
But then....
A CLIFFHANGER HAPPENED!!!!
See you in the next chapter!
Have a great day you turtle cakes!