Author's Note:
Hello people. Yes, I know I disappeared for a month, or was that two months? I've been really busy with work and studies. And there's this upcoming exam that I'll have to take and omg it's stressing me!
But enough about me. How have you been?
Oh and those quotes I'm currently quoting are stuff I found on the internet and they made me smile. Hopefully, they'll make you smile too. XD
*sticks a note on your screen*
Ily <3
-Monique xo
*end of note*
P.S. And by the way, I still cannot upload from my laptop. Idek what the problem is. -__-
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Chapter 14 – There Is Nothing More You Can Do
"I think everybody's weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it."
-Johnny Depp
I was currently locked in safety of my room.
No. I'm not hiding. I'm just...I guess I'm just taking the time for myself to get ready, to prepare for whatever the hell will probably happen, because something always does. And I'm not even going to try and pretend that it's all okay, because I know that it isn't. And it probably never will be.
Stuff like this isn't really easy for me, you know. It's not like I'm a social butterfly who is used to talking to more than three people in a day. Because seriously, that is my average. Just three people in a day; my Mum, Kylie, and Angelica.
I flopped down onto my bed and kicked my shoes off whilst I played with a strand of my hair, twirling it three times, then tugging it. I sighed and brought my other hand up to rub my face tiredly. My mind wandered and started conjuring reasons as to why it would be reasonable to skip this shenanigan.
I couldn't even recall the last time I joined guests for dinner. Maybe months ago? A year? A fleeting memory nagged me at the back of my mind, but I couldn't fully remember it right now. Or maybe I just didn't want to remember it. I sighed again, rolled off the bed, and got up. I slouched my way to the bathroom, kicking my beanbag chair to the side as I did so. I might as well do this, I never liked disappointing my mother or my sisters.
In the bathroom, I hurriedly showered, then I made and effort to at least make my unruly curls look a teeny, tiny bit presentable and behaved. Fifteen minutes was probably wasted before my stubborn self realized how pathetically useless my efforts were in running my fingers through my curls.
Argh! Fuck it! I thought to myself. We're neighbours, they'll know what a freak I am soon enough. It's quite stupid to try hiding.
Hurrying out of my room, I scavenged and hunted for my scrunchie and found one amongst my socks.
Don't ask me how it got there.
I hurriedly changed into something more presentable, just some dark jeans without rips paired with one of my favourite gray blouses, and slipped on a pair of my plain, gray Vans. I avoided the mirror as I slowly left my room and headed back downstairs before I'd miss out on important stuff. And by that, I meant the eating.
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As I approached the dining room, I made the mistake of glancing at the mirror hanging on the hall.
I cringed and froze in front of it before turning to look at myself fully.
Lifting my hands to my face, I gingerly touched my cheeks. I looked pale and stressed. The dark shadows under my eyes look clearer at the hallway's dim lighting. If I squinted, even just a little bit, I could make out the faint purple and green veins around them. Tilting my head to slightly to the left, the thin, pale scar that ran just beside my right eye to my hairline became visible. My chest tightened and my breathing became shallow.
I doubled over in a sudden wave of dizziness and squeezed my eyes shut. I braced my hands on my knees as I focused on trying to calm my heart and slow down my respiratory rate. I started counting slowly to ten.
I can do this. I can do this. I chanted in my head as I tried to breathe slowly. They won't see it.
I was quite sure they wouldn't. After all, I lasted a week at school without anyone seeing it. Or maybe someone did? But they were just too intimidated by my disposition that they didn't bother to ask. But Candace never seemed to be put off by me. In fact, as the week progressed, she seemed to take on the role of my best friend. Not that she was of course. I don't need a best friend. And neither do I want one.
I debated on going back upstairs to try my hand at face painting, but at the same time, my stomach protested, letting loose a rumble. I didn't have the time, nor the self-discipline and patience, to focus on covering up my damnable flaws when I was famished.
"Hey," a bored and detached voice asked from just beside me, just a little bit to my right.
Anyone who knows me is well aware of the fact that they should let me know when they are approaching me to avoid damages on their person. Clearly, whoever this douchebag was, missed the orientation on Megan 101.
I whipped around in surprise and thrust my arms out in a defensive reflex. Since the voice was male, I aimed and raised my arms higher, thrusting out the heels of my palm, ready to shove anyone off me. I hit jackpot and yelped in surprise, while from the douchebag, a stream of cursing soon ensued.
I got ready to sprint away from the attacker to drag my family to safety, but he spoke more coherently and the familiar sound of his voice froze me in place.
"What the fuck!" he glared at me as he muttered a few more cuss words as he rubbed his jaw with a slight grimace to his otherwise perfectly flawless features.
I blinked my eyes into focusing more as I saw the guy, now glaring daggers at me and most probably wishing for my early expiration.
I mentally scoffed, thinking he would most probably not be the only one who wished that.
It was the same guy from this morning. Minus the nakedness, of course. And the slipping towel, the hairbrush, and the crappy singing. This time, thank the heavenly beings, my extremely off-key next door (literally) neighbor was all covered up.
Dressed in a casual, V-necked white shirt, I could almost forget how queer his behavior and reaction was earlier today. From my close proximity to him, I realized he had shaggy brown hair, and brown eyes that would have been boring except for the fact that there were flecks of gold scattered around his irises. Oh yeah, add in the fact that his eyes, with colors so warm, were giving me such an icy feeling. Not everyone has that talent, really.
"Sorry, man," I mumbled as I looked away from his glare and down to his shoes. I blinked again. He was wearing teal Supras which matched his tight fitting, teal jeans.
Oh, wow. That's... well, wow. Oh okay.
I shook my jumbled thoughts off and started making to move past him towards the food, I really was starved. But in a sudden movement, one I was not able to anticipate yet again, he grabbed my arm in an in a tight grip, not too painful, but not too comfortable either.
My spine stiffened and I whipped my head to glare at him.
Memory did not do me justice.
His cold expression from earlier today was even more icy up close. But I wasn't that much of a weakling. Tilting my chin up and wearing an expression of pure defiance, I held his gaze unflinchingly. And this close, I could see how his eyes expressed his great distaste for me. I matched my expression with his and spoke quietly, clearly enunciating each word so he would know how serious I was. "Take your hand off me. Do not touch me."
He let go of my arm but not without a slight shove. Thankfully, I anticipated that and managed to not stumble back as I regained the center of my balance in the nick of time. I glared at him and continued my way but he stepped in front of me, making me jump back to avoid accidentally touching him.
What the fuck? It's not the school! It's the entire fucking town who don't know about personal space!
"I can make your life miserable," he stated icily, breaking my train of thought. As he spoke, his gaze roamed my face, cutting deeply into my own facade. It was full of promise, the miserable and torturous kind.
I scoffed at that and allowed my mask to drop, showing the turmoil, the despair, the pain and hatred that all but made up the totality of what I already was and I saw him visibly flinch. It was very slight, that if we weren't this close right now, and if my attention were elsewhere, I'd have missed it entirely.
I raked my gaze over him dismissively. "There is nothing, nothing more that you can possibly do."
And with that, I left him alone in the hallway.