The very next night of dreaming gave Naruto a greater insight into what was happening with these dreams of his. When he slept he didn't find himself on his beach in the cove, he wasn't even in his forest, he was in a new place entirely, and for once he didn't appreciate the scenery one little bit.
He stood in a small open area and looked out over a sheer drop. He could see mountains ranging around him and everything was covered in snow. At his back was a cave entrance that looked black and uninviting, though a little more inviting than continuing to stand out here in the chill wind that buffeted him where he stood, making him have to hug his arms around himself and shiver.
Why was he even cold in his dream? Come to think of it, he experienced a lot in these latest dreams of his that he didn't think he'd ever dreamt of before. Feeling wind against his skin, feeling heat and cold, being able to smell things, and feel the water as he swam. He didn't think these were typical things to experience when you dreamt, but hey, what did he know? Most of the time he couldn't remember his dreams after he woke, but these ones stayed with him like normal memories so that's probably all there was to it.
No the real insight he was beginning to have about these dreams was that they must have more to do with Sasuke than he had originally thought. Sure, the locations might have great metaphorical bearing on what was going on in his life that had little or nothing to do with the Uchiha, but the fact that his dreams seemed to change every time he gained some new level of understanding with Sasuke had become painfully obvious after their last brief encounter on the beach.
The first time in the forest they had had their first relatively civil conversation with each other in years. After that, he started dreaming about the beach. And then on the beach Sasuke had...Sasuke had...
Naruto screwed up his eyes and made himself say it.
"He kissed me."
And the following night he had ended up here.
This new place was beyond a doubt the least inviting place of the three and he wondered if his mind was punishing him in some way for the latest instalment in the twisted Naruto-Sasuke soap opera that was his sleeping life these days. It was like kicking him and saying, 'Bad Naruto! What the hell were you thinking?' But that was just it, he hadn't been thinking, Sasuke had been the one to kiss him! Of course, this was obviously his dream so didn't that mean there was some small part of Naruto that had wanted Sasuke to...
Naruto shook his head to clear it.
"What's wrong, dobe? Are you even losing mental sparring matches to yourself now?"
Naruto turned to look at the current focus of his issues and frowned at him.
"Why did you do that?"
"I always call you a dobe."
"I don't mean that!" Naruto returned hotly. "You kissed me."
Sasuke folded his arms over his chest and smirked at him. "The beauty of the dream is that I don't have to explain myself to the likes of you."
"C'mon Teme, this whole dream is about messing with me. Why won't you explain why? If nothing else, you could use this as an excuse just to fuck with me even more."
Sasuke seemed on the verge of saying some other nasty thing, but seemed to think better of it. Apparently he thought Naruto had a good point. Why just call Naruto names when he had a chance at doing some real mental torture instead?
"I'm trying to figure something out," he said simply.
"How?" Naruto asked after Sasuke's ridiculous answer. "By sticking your tongue down my throat?"
"By any means necessary."
"Why can't I ever get a simple answer from you!" Naruto snapped out of patience with Sasuke's vague and incomprehensible answers.
"You invited me to fuck with your mind, you can't complain when I grant you your wish."
Naruto glared at him for a while longer, but it was hard to stay angry when he was shivering so much he bit his own tongue.
"Ow!"
"Cold?" Sasuke asked sarcastically.
"Thanks Uchiha Obvious," Naruto returned in a similar tone. "What is up with this place anyway, what happened to the beach?"
Sasuke rubbed his own arms in a show that the cold was affecting him too and shrugged. "Hn."
"I'm going in the cave," Naruto said decisively. But he didn't move forward. The cave looked very dark.
Sasuke watched him impassively for a few minutes. "Well?"
"Aren't you coming?"
"I might if you actually went anywhere." Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "You aren't scared are you?"
"No!" Naruto shot back immediately. Then in a quieter tone he said, "I wonder if anything lives in there."
"Look around, dobe. Does it look like anything lives anywhere in this bleak place? And besides, this is a dream remember, what have you got to be scared about?"
"You obviously don't know what my dreams can be like," Naruto muttered. But it was true, generally he didn't dream about big nasty animals taking him apart. Mostly his nastier dreams included seeing people die, seeing things destroyed or worse. Though of course if you included his brief talks with the Kyuubi to be a kind of dream, he supposed that there were some big nasty animals that did try to harm him...he really wished he hadn't just thought about that.
Sasuke continued to watch him for a while longer before getting apparently fed up and walking toward the cave himself. As creepy as it looked to Naruto though, he couldn't let Sasuke walk in there by himself. He caught up to the Uchiha just inside the cave entrance by actually running into the back of him when the other ninja had stopped to take a look around. Naruto grabbed Sasuke's shoulder to stop them from both ending up on the ground and looked past him at their new surroundings. There wasn't much to see unfortunately. Whatever light there was outside didn't filter into the cave very far. All Naruto could see what that it was probably a pretty small area about the size of the main room in his apartment but he couldn't even be certain about that. But of course, Sasuke had better eyes than he did.
"There's the remnants of a campfire and some leftover wood for burning," Sasuke told him. "Let go."
The last command took a while to find its way into Naruto's understanding and when it did, he took his hand away like he'd been burned. But then he realized the ridiculousness of it. Sure in the past Sasuke had always been a bit precious about his personal space, but only last night he'd been grabbing him and kissing him. So why all of a sudden was he so moody about it now?
Naruto watched Sasuke walk into the darkness. There was something about seeing him disappear one step at a time further into the cave that made Naruto's breath catch in his throat. He wanted desperately to call him back but instead he said,
"You know for someone that was tongue molesting me last night, you're awfully sensitive about a light touch on your shoulder."
There was a flare of light as Sasuke lit the wood in the firepit and Naruto got a good look at Sasuke crouched down staring up at him. The look was pretty cold.
"Some habits are harder to break than others. I don't like being grabbed."
"But it's okay for you to grab me whenever you feel like it."
"Yes."
The straightforward answer took him a little by surprise. He had expected Sasuke to say something else strange and not really answer him at all. At least that would give him something to argue with. The flat out acknowledgement kind of left him with nowhere to go.
"Oh."
Naruto took another look around this time with the aid of the campfire light and was even more dejected by what he saw. Sasuke had called this place bleak before and Naruto couldn't think of a better word to use. It was bleak. His new dream gave him nothing to explore, nothing new to do and covered an even smaller space than the last one. Not to mention it was freezing. Of course the smaller space also meant that this time Sasuke couldn't run away from him either. And unless one of them chose to brave the outside again they would be forced to stay within close proximity to each other.
He looked at Sasuke sitting close to the fire, watching the flames leap with an impassive look on his face. He didn't look any different from the last dream, he still looked vaguely troubled, but not as crazy as the forest dream, and he still wore the simple pants and nothing else. But this time the pants were plain grey.
Naruto looked down at himself to realise he was wearing the exact same thing, colour and all. There was probably something deep and meaningful about that but he was too cold to think about it.
He crossed over to the fire and sat down on the opposite side to Sasuke and watched his old friend over the flames.
"What?" Sasuke asked coldly after a few moments of being stared at.
"This sucks."
"Hn."
"I suppose I could always stop the dream. At least for tonight."
Sasuke looked at him sharply. "What?"
Naruto was a little taken back by that look. He hadn't thought he'd said anything strange. "Well, you know. Something happens in your dream that shocks you, you wake up right? That would stop the dream. Like falling. I always wake up from dreams when I fall."
Sasuke seemed to calm down a little after the explanation. "Like jumping off the cliff outside you mean."
"Right. But then again, these dreams are a bit weird right? Who is to say it'd work. It might just be really painful."
Sasuke didn't reply so Naruto started of thinking of less potentially harmful ways of being shocked awake. Most of the time he'd just wake up from the dream when morning came in the real world. But the few times he'd been shocked awake had been either when he was falling or when Sasuke...Okay, not going there.
But did he really want to spend so long in such a place? On normal nights the amount of time he dreamt for felt like hours and he was already so cold and so bored right now that the prospect of spending so long with nothing to do except shiver and talk to an unresponsive and sometimes nasty fake Sasuke wasn't a terribly appealing one.
It was just a little kiss right? It wasn't like he had been so grossed out by the last one, it had just surprised him before. Okay, it had disturbed him a little too, but that was mainly due to his own thoughts than the actual deed. The fact that it hadn't actually grossed him out terribly, and that if he kept with the theory that this was his subconscious, it would be easy to say that maybe he wanted the kiss. Those had been the thoughts that had disturbed him. But if doing it again meant he could change their environment or at the very least wake up for the time being, he thought it might just be worth it.
He moved until he was sitting next to Sasuke who watched him move with nothing but a raised eyebrow. He felt his cheeks burn a little at the thought of what he was about to suggest. But wasn't it just like Sasuke said, this was just a dream, it had no real consequences in the real world. So no matter how he acted in his dreams, he could be content with the knowledge that dreams aren't real.
But no matter how true that all was, he just couldn't do anything about it. So they sat silently for a while and stared into the fire. Occasionally Sasuke would look at him as though a silent Naruto was a little disturbing, but Naruto was still working himself up to what he was thinking of doing. Eventually it was Sasuke who cracked before he did.
"Talk, say something!"
Naruto looked at him in surprise and even Sasuke seemed to realize how strange it was for him to say that to Naruto.
"I find your silence very disturbing. I'd rather you be yourself." Sasuke explained.
Well maybe talking about it would help his resolve. "I was just thinking of a way to end the dream without pain."
"Tell me then, I'd rather end it too."
Naruto took a deep breath. Well it was now or never. No consequences right?
"Kiss me."
Now it was Sasuke's turn to look surprised. "What?"
"Look I know, alright. But it worked last time didn't it? The dream stopped."
Sasuke watched him for a moment, but Naruto still couldn't bring himself to look into the other's eyes. Trying like hell not to look at Sasuke's face, he found himself staring at the soft looking pale skin of his neck. He wondered briefly if the skin felt as smooth as it looked. When he realised what he was doing he looked down at the floor between them.
He felt his chin lifted by a single finger to finally look up at Sasuke. Naruto couldn't read the expression there but Sasuke had leaned in and it looked as though he was going to accept the request. So Naruto closed his eyes and waited.
He heard Sasuke make a sort of amused 'hn' sound and then he felt those cool lips again, just like last night. And just like last night he opened his mouth a little to feel a tongue snake inside and twine around with his. After a few moments, Sasuke pulled away and Naruto opened his eyes to see those familiar dark eyes regarding him a little curiously. It took him a moment more to realize the most important fact of what had just happened though.
"We're still here."
"I noticed that. So much for your master plan."
Naruto tried to think it over logically, but he could still feel those lips like he was still being kissed and it was a little distracting to say the least.
"Maybe because it was expected this time. It wasn't a spur of the moment surprise, it was planned."
Sasuke smirked at him. "So what? Even if it happened that way again it probably wouldn't work. By the look on your face it was less shock and more enjoyment this time anyway."
"What look? I don't have a look!"
Sasuke huffed at him and looked away. "Whatever, dobe."
"What? You think I wanted you to do that again?"
"The first time took me as much by surprise as you. Not even I knew I was going to do that until I did. You're right, it was a shock that stopped the dream. I'm surprised you thought it would work again though."
"So why did you do it then, if you knew it wouldn't work?"
Sasuke shrugged. "Why not? Maybe I was bored."
"You're such an asshole!" Naruto exclaimed getting to his feet. "I think I will go throw myself off that cliff after all!"
But Sasuke grabbed his wrist and pulled him back down beside him. "Don't be stupid."
Naruto was still pretty angry though. He glared at the fire. "So what? Do we sit here until we have another bonding breakthrough and get to go somewhere nicer?"
"Probably."
"Great!" Naruto replied sarcastically. "'Cause the last thing I want to do right now is talk to you."
"Really? Aren't you the one chasing me all over the country trying to bring me back to the village? I would have thought you'd like this, us both being trapped here."
"Not like this! This isn't real. Why would I want to waste my breath trying to convince you here if it doesn't matter what I say?"
"Whatever."
"A new place? But you only started dreaming about the beach like a week ago!" Sakura exclaimed.
They had stopped to eat at a tea house along the way. Naruto was feeling a little under the weather and pretty tired besides. Sakura had commented about how bad he looked twice before he'd agreed to take a break and have something to eat.
"You aren't still having these dreams every night are you?" Sakura asked eyeing him picking at his food.
"No I told you, it's not every night," he lied. He didn't like lying to her, but lately she had gotten this look in her eye suggesting that at any moment she might force a sleeping potion down his throat so he could have a dreamless sleep for a change.
The idea was tempting, especially after last night's epic boredom punctuated with the brief but heated arguments he'd had with Sasuke. But there had to be some point to all of this, he'd decided that morning. If these dreams really were his subconscious trying to tell him something, he was eager to find out what it was now more than ever.
"So what's this new place like?" Sakura asked sipping her tea, apparently buying his lie.
"Boring," he admitted. "It's just a ledge and a cave and nothing else."
"Hmmm," she murmered thoughtfully no doubt trying to find the metaphor behind it.
"Isolation," Sai supplied quietly. "You are now cut off from everything and every one. Did something happen in the last area that might give you a possible future like this?"
"You're thinking the dream is showing him his past, present and future, don't you?" Sakura asked Sai.
"Just a thought."
"Well, what did happen at the end of the last dream on the beach?" Sakura asked Naruto eagerly.
Well, Sasuke had kissed him, that's what. But he wasn't about to tell them that. If he took on board Sai's view of the situation, he supposed gaining a stronger bond with Sasuke could result in him being an outcast again. But something about that explanation didn't sit right with him for a lot of reasons.
"Nothing much," Naruto shrugged. "Me and Sasuke talked more about being friends. I suppose we got to some sort of understanding." Before he went and kissed me, that is. But he made sure to keep that last part to himself.
"Is Sasuke still there in this new dream?" Sai asked him.
"Yeah, he's still there," Naruto answered carefully.
"Well maybe this is just the next step," Sakura told him with a smile. "You're friends again in the dream and now the dream has shifted and put you in a place where you have no alterative but to talk to one another. I say it's all about solidifying that bond. There are no distractions now, you might finally have a chance to say...what you need to say."
He knew she had been about to say, 'goodbye' especially when her smile had slipped a little there at the end. And he thought what she said had merit to it. It was true, they were in a place where there was nothing to do but talk and neither of them could escape the other's company too easily. But Sai's interpretation of 'isolation' did stick in his head all through the day.
With the thought in mind that there was nothing to do now but talk to each other in the dream, Naruto went to sleep that night with the objective of doing just that. To say Sasuke was a little unresponsive would have been a huge understatement.
He was okay at first, but soon became irritated by being asked multiple questions all the time and snapped at Naruto more than once. Eventually he threatened to hold Naruto's head in the fire if he didn't shut up.
"You were the one that told me to be more myself and not be so silent," Naruto pointed out.
"Yes, be yourself. Talk about whatever you want, but stop asking so many questions!"
So Naruto did. Instead he started talking about the village. He thought maybe it wasn't the best topic considering Sasuke was obviously already pissed off. But because he made no effort to try and get Sasuke to join in on the conversation, it didn't seem to bother him. After a while he actually joined in of his own volition.
"The whole village is still being rebuilt after Pain destroyed it," Naruto told him. "It's hard work, but everyone is pitching in. Even Inari showed up, you remember him from the Land of Waves. He's a carpenter now and he's like double the height he was four years ago. It's amazing to realize how much time has passed since we went to help Inari and his grandfather. He asked about you, he wanted to say hi and gives you his thanks again for the help."
Sasuke didn't comment on that but Naruto could tell he had his full attention.
"I said we'd had a fight and you'd left for a while, which I suppose is the truth in a way even if that's not the reason you left." Naruto looked over at the fire, not wanting to look at Sasuke for the moment because he was sure Sasuke was about to get angry at him. "I wish that's all it was though. I wish you had left because of me. It's a lot easier to say that I was sorry and get you to forgive me than to convince you to forgive the people you're really angry at. For what it's worth though, I am sorry."
"I don't need your pity," Sasuke told him bluntly.
"It's not pity," Naruto assured him. "It's...understanding. I'm not just sorry for you, I'm sorry about a lot of things and I feel sorry for a lot of people. The people of Konoha lost everything, and I feel sorry for that. So many people have lost their lives. Ero-Sennin..." Naruto let his voice die for a moment, unable to continue with that particular thought. "The point is that there's a lot of sorrow to go around and somebody should feel it for those that can't anymore. That's why I said I was sorry to you. Not because I think anything you did or went through was my fault, but because I don't know if you are capable anymore of feeling sorry for yourself."
Sasuke didn't answer him and the silence dragged on. Eventually Naruto felt it was time to break the uncomfortable silence and looked up at Sasuke, his words dying in his throat at the expression presented there. He'd expected Sasuke to seem annoyed or angry by his morose little outpouring, but Sasuke looked openly curious and Naruto could have been imagining it, just a tad hopeful. Sasuke spoke before Naruto had a chance to rearrange his thoughts.
"I wonder sometimes what it would be like if I had stayed. Would we still be friends? Would you care as much about me?"
"Of course I would!"
"I don't think that's true. I think your obsession to find me and bring me home clouds your real opinion of me. I think you're more obsessed with your mission than the object of the mission."
"Do I have to explain this to you again? I told you why before on the beach."
"But is that true, or is that just something you tell yourself to keep yourself going?"
"Of course it is true! I'm not lying, least of all to myself. I know how I feel. I just wish I knew more about how you felt."
"Me too."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
But Sasuke wouldn't elaborate, at least not this time. For now though, it was a start.