I don't really know how to start this story off but I can try to go to my first memory where it all started with him
OOHHH I KNOW one we have P.E. TOGETHER YAAAAAA
I was freaking crying inside
Gosh ok I can't think of much because it's hard to remember when I really was into this kid but I'm just gonna put some parts of what I remember of him on here and who knows maybe I'll remember more !!
Ok so every morning when I ride the bus to School and then I get off and walk to my class
Francisco would be sitting at the red bench with all his friends and he would watch me all the time
I will tell you, when you look at him he looks very intimidating but once you talk to him he's a very quite, innocent looking kid - HAHAAA I thought!!
So sometime around a couple month's he knows that I like him and I have NO idea if he likes me
But I will have to tell you this amazing story and your gonna freaking laugh and cry maybe and cringe but here it goes......[sighs] I really don't wanna do this
So its the valentines dance at out school and kids go and dance with their friends and couples or whatever
So I'm standing in line waiting for my turn to pay and I see Francisco and his friends all laughing and hanging out together
I realize he's not coming to the dance cause first someone told me he's not and second he's not even in line
So I pay and I run in to meet up with my friends and we eat some candy and junk food
Bad mistake
So I'm sitting at one of the tables and I'm finishing my chocolate bar
I eat the last piece and crumbled the wrapper and looked around for a trash can
Found it!!
I walked over and I STOPPED I couldn't breath he's standing right in front of me
NO!! He can't be here!!!
He stood with his friends and talked an laughed and I knew he could see me but he made a hell of an effort to ignore the fact that I'm standing there
I quickly threw it away and ran to my friends telling them about it
So later on in this story I was sitting with my friend on the bench and a love song came on, I sat and watched as the couple's got together and continued dancing I started talking to her (my friend)
Me: awww I wish I could dance with him
Friend: awww
Me: and he'll hold me tight and whisper cute things in my ear and make me smile
Friend: then why don't you ask him?
I litterly freaked out
Me: ask him what?!?!
Friend: If he wants to dance with you
Me: oh no no no
Friend: it will be fine
My heart raced I couldn't do this go
up to my crush and ask him to dance that was to me like jumping out of plane and skydive
It was CRAZY!!!
Me: No
Friend: then I'll ask
Me: No
She finally said ok after a minute or so arguing with her
I walked to my group of friends as she followed and I started talking to one of them
I watched as my friend destinee and my friend emily ran away from the group towards the dance floor together
I turned and ask my friend marisol
Me: what are they doing?
Marisol: ......
She kept quite
Me: MARISOL TELL ME!!
I didn't mean to yell but I was freaking out
Marisol: their gonna ask and see if Francisco wants to dance
Me: with who?
Marisol: with you
My stomach dropped my ears rang my heart pounded wildly, I felt like this wasn't real none of this was real I couldn't believe this was happening right now in this moment Francisco could either so yes or no
But my best wish was a questioning
What if I don't want him to say anything? What if I want him to run to me and ask me? What if I wished I never mentioned any of this to my friend then none of this would've have happened?
I felt my body shake
I looked at marisol
Me: no no no no no no
I couldn't stop repeating it I was completely speechless
My mind was like scribbles on paper and my stomach was crowded with butterflies
I watched as emily and destinee ran back with smiles on their faces
Me: oh my God no no no
Them: he said....
I couldn't hear them over my friends screaming
Me: what he say?
They turned around pulling me toward the dance floor
Me: guys wait!!! What he say?!?!?
Them: he said YES!!!
Me: NO!!! OH MY GOD NO!!!
This was it my moment of truth to see if he really liked me, if he really wanted to do all the things I imagined, if he really wanted to hold a small girl against him and run his big hands over my small ones and shine me down with his beautiful smile, weaken my knees by his amazingly deep voice, and press his pink lips against mine
I watched as he walked nearer and nearer as his hands rested in his pockets, his posture was relaxed and his face was...Well I couldn't see that far!!!
I walked closer nervously as my friends followed
Why WHY THEM!!! They were gonna make this worse for me
I reached to Francisco and stood in front of him
Me: hi
What the hell hi?!?!
Just dance with him already
Francisco: hi
His face was turning pink I could tell he was blushing
Awwwww
But my face probably looked like a tomato
My friends: ok now dance!!
Everyone was looking and when I mean everyone I mean ALL THE KIDS ON THE FLOOR WERE STARING!!!!
Francisco reached his hands out but my friends kept interrupting
I got pushed closer against him as my hands rested on his chest
Dam!! I felt those abs
Lmao ignore that
Me: guys ok um...
I pulled away and looked at Francisco my eyes would not draw away
Me: I'm sorry.....I just- their crazy- I'm just- I don't really know how to dance- um sorry their- oh my God this can't be happening-
Excuse after excuse
Why couldn't he just wrap his arms around my waist and just say it's ok and just dance , or just make me shut up by softly kissing me
But I'm pretty sure his brain was racing too
My friends kept interrupting and making him do things
He just quietly denied and looked down not once did he look back at his friends he was just scared I think
Oh my God my life is forever ruined by this
Me: do you wanna just hang out with your friends?
He didn't hear me the first time cause the music
Francisco: hmm??
He leaned closer to me
Me: do you wanna get to know each other first?
I changed the question
Francisco: sure
He gave his quick "sure face"
Holy hell it was so cute
Me: just go hang out with your friends k?
He leaned closer as his hands left his pockets as if he was gonna hold my back
Francisco: no why?
Me: because --- it will be ok just go hang out with them and we can probably dance to another song
He nodded
Francisco: ok
He left and walked to them
I panicked and ran to the bathroom
Marisol: no no isis!!!
I Slammed the stall door
I didn't cry I was shocked sad but angry I didn't know what to do, guilt ran through me I was pissed I continue blaming my friends saying it's all their fault cause I didn't dance with him because they cause to much pressure but I couldn't I just sat quite and came out and wet a paper towel and rest it on my cheeks
Friends: why didn't you just dance with him
Me: to much pressure I couldn't
Friends: why? He wanted to dance with you
Me: well you guys pressured me to much
They all began arguing over each other
Friends: no- it's ok isis-it's ok- maybe if you didn't-
The all argued together
Did I want to really ruin friendship by a boy?
No I'm ok
Me: guys!!! You guys!!! It's ok
We were just leaving the bathroom
I walked out behind marisol and destinee until they freaked out and turned around
Them: isis hold on wait- go back inside!!
I turned around highly confused
Me: what!!
Them: let's just sit in here for a few
Me: no I'm fine it's ok
Them: no it's ok just tell us more about what happened
Why would they want to know more about what happened? They knew I was upset so why would they want to continue this conversation?
Me: guys...please?
Them: no we wanna know
I knew something was up I moved toward the door but they blocked it
Me: guys move please I don't want stay in here anymore
They opened the door and destinee and marisol were the first out
Them: ok look this way
They pointed away from the dance floor
The obviously didn't want me to see something cause I tried looking at the dance floor but the were blocking every vision
Me: guys can you- what are you doing?
I pushed passed them and realized Francisco
His hands wrapped around another girl as he held her tall skinny frame against him, they swayed gently together all in sync. As I stared like an idiot knowing I fell for a liar well as I thought he was
I felt betrayal but he wasn't even mine!!!
I hated how they stood close I hated the smile she had on her face, I hated how she rested her head on his shoulder , I hated how I wasn't her
That was supposed to be me......
( I'm not even joking 'hello' the song and 'I know I'm not the only one' also another song just came on, guess it is all supposed to be ment to be) lmao
So I was raged I decide
FUCK IT!!!
This is my life I don't want to spend this dance pissed off I'm gonna enjoy it
After the dance I didn't talk to him but I walked side by side with him towards my car as he walked towards his I remember he turned around as he arrived to his car and gave one long last glance and opened his door and.....I couldn't see that much cause his freaking car lights were the sun but uh yeah that was all of that
I walked to my car and my friend Destinee ended up staying the night and I that night I just poured my heart out to destinee about Francisco and that was boredom for her so my night ended quickly
But to this day the guilt runs through me every time i see him cause he is a reminder that I didn't take the chance to dance with him
But maybe he was not supposed to be my first dance maybe it's meant for someone more special than Francisco
But I'm moving and I'm probably stopping by to say goodbye to my friends at the school so it will interesting to see if Francisco will see me because as I was a freshman I had long Brown hair now I got a Rihanna pixi haircut and he hasent seen me since so who knows if he will show me different signs but I have stories about him in high school freshman year so stay ready