All the kids are standing and starting to get off the bus. Martijn is going to get seen unless I do something right now. So I make a choice. Probably a really dumb one, but I do it anyway. And he sure as hell doesn't deserve the choice I make after the jerk he's been to me since he met me.
I pull the hood of his sweatshirt over his face, grab his hand, and pull him behind me as the other kids get off the bus. I try to ignore how crazy soft his hand feels in mine. Once we step on the ground, I yank his arm so he gets the message. He steps beside me and keeps his head down as we walk slowly in the middle of a throng of tall kids who probably play basketball.
When we finally reach the doors I abruptly let go of his hand and look behind at the doors we just entered through. Good. The paps are still stretching their necks at the few remaining buses still pulling up. They completely missed Martijn.
I turn back around to see - no Martijn. I sigh and go to my locker. Fine. Don't thank me for saving your sorry butt. Next time I'm not going to help him with his screwed up life, I think firmly to myself.
I go to my locker and see the door of Martijn's next to me hanging open. That's dumb. Whatever. Not helping you.
As I open my locker, I zone out a little and remember what Martijn's hand felt like in mine. His hands were larger, with longer fingers, and mine, small and thin. They fit well together...
"Madi! Hellooo?" I blink as two fingers snapped in front of my eyes. I smile at Anna's mischievous face.
"So. I saw you holding hands with Martijn. Aaand so did Matt." My smile vanishes. "Ohh, great," I mutter, dropping my head to my hands and rubbing my eyes with my fingers in aggravation.
"Is he upset?" I ask nervously, and Anna shakes her head. "Just a little mad. I think if you just talk to him he'll be fine." I nod and grab my books, slamming my locker shut.
********
Matt isn't very mad - he seems like he couldn't care less, which is weird. He's usually much more protective over me, but recently he hasn't been. He must be really stressed over finals.
Only three more days!
*******
Three days later, the bell rings for the last day of school. Everyone rockets out of their seats and into the hallway as if shot from a cannon. I am no slower than the rest, snatching all my books from my locker and shoving them into my bag.
Martijn has had no problem at school these past few days. I see him with a horde of girls that must like his music or think he's attractive or something. I ignore him for the most part, except when he needs my help with something like escaping the paps.
My phone vibrates, startling me, and I pull it out of my pocket to read the text Matt just sent me. <<happy summer, babe! see you at the party tonight>> I smile at the cute text when another one pops up on my screen, again from Matt. <<happy summer, angel! hope i can see you more often now ;)>>
I frown a little. Why would he send the same thing to me twice? And I see him every day during the school year anyway, it's almost clingy for him to say he misses me.
I hear my friends calling my name and I put my phone away, completely forgetting the texts. We make plans to meet at the party tonight, and Anna and I agree that she'll meet at my house so we can walk to it together.
Every year on the first night of summer, the whole grade has a huge party with a bonfire on the beach in front of one of the popular kid's houses - so it's harder to get busted by the cops. Everyone meets up there at 5:00 to swim and hang out and enjoy the first day of summer. It is the biggest, most popular party of the year, and we all wait 365 impatient days for it.
Once I get home I push all negative thoughts out of my head and put on my favorite dress (it finally dried from the water Martijn spilled on it). I stick my bikini in a small bag and am ready to go.
I still have two hours until Anna and I are going to walk to the party, but she's coming over to hang out until 5:00.
The doorbell rings and I run down the stairs to get it. I fling the door open - to see Martijn. I try to keep the disappointed frown off my face when I see that it's not Anna. I thought I was done with this kid since the school year is over.
"What do you want?" I ask impatiently. Anna is going to be here any minute. "Well that's rude," Martijn says with a fake smile. I roll my eyes. "Fine. What's up?"
Suddenly my mom is beside me at the door. "Hi, Martijn! What's going on?" All he wants is to ask if we want to come over for dinner tonight. Mom gives me a small side glance and I give her a "Oh, unfair!" look back.
"You know what, Martijn, do you mind if I just talk to Madi for a second? You can come in, we'll just be right in the kitchen." I roll my eyes and follow her unwillingly. I'd rather be standing awkwardly with Martijn than have this conversation with my mom.
"Ok honey, I know how much you look forward to this party, so I'm gonna give you a choice right now. You can either skip your huge party, tell Anna she can't come over, and come to dinner with all of us, OR," she says loudly as I begin to protest, "You can invite Martijn to come with you and Anna to your party POLITELY."
I groan. "Fine." I march back to the living room where Martijn is awkwardly leaning against the wall. He looks kind of cute today, actually. Wait, what? Shut up, Madi. You kinda have a boyfriend, in case that slipped your mind.
"So, my parents and sisters would love to come over for dinner, but I'm going to a end-of-school-slash-start-of-summer party tonight at 5:00 and I was wondering if you'd want to come with me and Anna."
I pray right then with all my heart that he would refuse and so I don't have to deal with him for one more day. But of course, he accepts. "I'd love to," he replies with his now infamous smirk.
I smile fakely, "Great. If you wanna be here at 5:00 we can walk down to the party."
He leaves and I resist the urge to kick the door shut as hard as I can after him. "Mom! That is so unfair that I had to do that!" She smiles innocently at me. "I didn't make you do anything. You easily could have come with us to dinner."
I ignore her and when the doorbell rings again, I hesitantly open the door. "Oh, thank goodness it's you." Anna gives me a funny look as she steps inside and slips off her shoes.
"Well, yeah, who'd you think it was?" She laughs. I lead her upstairs and tell her what my mom made me do. She gives me the "Oh, unfair!" look, and I laugh. "Yeah, that's what I did, too."
We lay on my bed and talk and gossip and I play my new song for Anna. Then I hear the doorbell ring for the third time today and I give Anna a look as we head downstairs. Martijn is already chatting with my mom like the perfect nice boy he is. Not.
Mother gives me the "Be. Nice." look this time and I smile at Martijn, who smirks in return. "Alright, let's go!"
I lead them out to the back door, through the garden, and onto the beach. We turn right to go down toward where the party is, a ten minute walk away.
Martijn walks alongside us as we chat, and adds somewhat snide comments, but Anna enjoys his humor and laughs. Honestly, he is very funny and has humor similar to mine. So even though I don't want to encourage him or make him think I'm okay with how he treats me, I laugh too.
As we get closer, we can see the large group of kids hanging out and swimming.
Martijn makes a beeline for a group of girls he's been hanging out with. Anna laughs at my disapproving glance and we both giggle a little. The rest of our group of friends is already here and we quickly join them.
The evening is a blast. There is music blasting and as it gets darker, the boys build up the bonfire and pass drinks out to people who want them. I already said I'm not exactly a good girl, but I don't have a death wish, so I only had a couple beers.
My phone chimes and I see a text from Matt. "Hey angel wanna come for a swim?" I smile at the words and what they imply and sneak away from my friends and down to the abandoned water.
I hear a couple giggling behind me, just inside the fire's reach for light. The boy leans in to kiss the girl, and she eagerly kisses him back. I begin to look away to give them privacy but suddenly I realize who the boy is. "M-Matt?" I stutter, stepping closer.
The boy pulls away from the girl in shock, and the girl reluctantly stops kissing him, but clings to his hand. "Madi? What are you doing here? I thought you were with your friends."
My mouth falls open as I see the girl's face clearly now. "Angel? You mean those texts you sent me where you called me Angel, you just sent them to the wrong person?" I feel tears in the corners of my eyes, threatening to spill onto my cheeks.
"Matt, why the hell would you cheat on me? I thought you... loved me..." I trail off. It sounds stupid now, especially when I say it out loud. Matt laughs, and I can hear a mocking tone there.
"I've been meaning to break up with you for a while, like, how long babe?" He consults Angel. "Like a month or two. Me and Angel just click better. And she's a little bit more... experienced... ya know?" My mouth twists in sadness as tears begin to fall down my face.
I gather up the tiny amount of courage I still have left and say, "Well I sure as hell deserve more than a piece of shit like you," before running across the sand, past the bonfire, to sit beside a small shack that's outside the glow of the mocking firelight.
I sit in the darkness and sob for a few minutes. Matt has been cheating on me for at least a month now? But I'm so naive, I never saw it before now.
I lift my head up a little when I hear footsteps coming towards me. I squint at the silhouette unable to see their face. "Martijn?" He sits down and then I see who it is.
"Try again, babe."