Captain Carter's expression was a mirror of mine. "You look almost exactly like -- no, it can't be!"
I tried to laugh, but it came out sounding more like a nervous hiccup. "Wow, such an honor to meet you! Um... I've heard a great many things about you..." Think, Lilly, think! I had a flash of inspiration. "From my sister Lillian! Yes. My long lost, recently found, sister. Twin sister, actually. I'm her twin, her twin brother, Victor Linton."
Captain Carter's eyebrows inched up towards his hair. "Indeed? The resemblance is certainly uncanny, although Miss Linton never mentioned a brother."
"Ah, well, the family usually doesn't like to talk about me much." That wasn't a lie, exactly. "No idea why, really, as I am the most interesting of the bunch."
Captain Carter threw back his head and laughed. "I have a feeling Miss Linton would see that as a challenge." He held out a hand, grinning. "However, it's always a delight to meet one of Miss Linton's relatives. And by delight, I mean that most of them take one look at me and see it fit to give me a clear view up their noses."
"Aunt Brank is rather fond of showing off that overly-large beak of hers." Cautiously, I reached out and shook his hand in this foreign male gesture of camaraderie. How hard was I supposed to shake? How long?
Apparently I underestimated the amount of strength I possessed, and I felt something pop in his hand as he winced. It was at that moment that I noticed something was amiss.
"What the blazes did you do to your face?"
Only one eyebrow went up this time. "You and your twin have the same level of tact, I see!" He rubbed a hand over his clean-shaven jaw. "I suppose you're referring to this?"
I nodded vigorously. "I mean, Lilly always described you with a scrap of beard on your chin, that is. I think she rather liked it, instead of the way most young British men stay beardless. It was quite original."
"Well, that is too bad. It seems that I've been taken in by the status quo." I detected a devious twinkle in his eye. "What else has your impetuous sister said of me?"
"Oh, you know, that you're quite insane, wear a waistcoat full of tigers, and dance a wonderful gallop." I shrugged. "I -- I mean she -- also says that, for a man, you aren't half bad."
Captain Carter laughed a laugh that came from deep in his belly. "I do consider that quite a compliment, from such a woman as she. Has she succeeded in shaking off her temporary engagement yet?"
"Well, of course!" I said hotly. "You can hardly think it would've been a challenge to her to shake off that nincompoop Morton Fitzgerald!"
He held up his hands in surrender. "Of course not. I'm sure she's had plenty of practice ridding herself of unwanted suitors." He smiled. "Say, you want to get out of here and go have some fun? Any friends and certain siblings of Miss Linton's are friends of mine."
I hesitated. I had no idea what men did for fun, but whatever Captain Carter had in mind, I was sure I could handle it! After all, when was I going to get another chance to find out? Mr. Ambrose or Karim would certainly never suggest going out together for a bit of fun. Mr. Ambrose would see it as a waste of time and money, and I wasn't sure Karim had yet been introduced to the idea of enjoying anything that didn't result in casualties.
"Lead the way!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... and then, with both Brazilian armies charging from opposite sides of the bridge, my employer cut the ropes and sent us all plunging into the ravine!"
"Amazing!" Captain Carter leaned forward, eyes wide. "It's astounding that you survived! Your employer must be either mad or brilliant!"
After deciding that telling Captain Carter the truth about my absence from my family was the best course of action, I had been delighted at his reactions to the tales of my astounding bravery (although I may have added a little to liven up the dull bits). It was so wonderful to finally have my accomplishments properly appreciated!
We were sitting in a small pub, one that was crowded and smoky, and filled with soldiers of the British Army, who were jeering, playing darts, and trying to drink each other under the table. It was loud and rowdy and uncivilized.
I loved the place instantly.
I took a swig from my mug. "Just between you and me, my boss is quite mad." I felt a small, peculiar tingling spreading along my spine and radiating outwards as I thought of him in that moment. Perhaps I was coming down with something? How odd. "Anyway, fate wouldn't dare cross him, so after a harrowing swim with some dead Brazilians and a somewhat avoidable climb up a cliff, we reached the treasure, and, well, here I am!"
Captain Carter tossed back the remains of his beer, or, as he called it, neck oil, and thunked the tankard back on the table, shaking his head. "Well, Mr. Linton, it sounds like you've had the greater share of adventure between the two of us."
"Ah, well, it was tough, but nothing in that jungle was a match for me!" I leapt onto my stool and started miming parries and swipes of a sword. "Those Brazilians thought they could scare us off, but they didn't realize who they were up against! I have the bravery of twenty men, and I'd be damned if I let their puny civil war get in my way!"
A passing man glared as I accidentally swiped his hat off his head while demonstrating my superior skills.
The beer was making everything warm and bright and slightly fuzzy. It wasn't quite as much fun as meeting the yellow piggies and Napoleon, but for some reason Captain Carter had only ordered one drink for each of us. Shame, that was.
Glancing around the room, I spotted a group of soldiers playing a game in the corner. "Blimey, what is it those chaps are doing?"
"That's Nine Men's Morris. It's a strategy game, but with high stakes -- the loser must cut off either a finger or a toe and give it to the winner."
I felt my eyes widen. Not from fear, though! Not me! It was definitely excitement at the thought of a challenge. "Have you ever lost?"
Captain Carter nodded, gravely. "I only have one toe left on each foot."
I couldn't help but peek down at his boots. "Really?"
He burst out laughing again. "No! The only pain the loser endures is a bruised ego."
"Oh. How disappointing."
"Interested in starting up a friendly game?"
I cracked my knuckles. "Only if by 'friendly' you mean highly competitive."
I followed him to another table with a board carved into the top. Three squares were drawn inside each other and connected by lines in the middle.
"Alright, Mr. Linton. Each player places their stones at either a corner of the square or where a line meets a square, and then they move them to try and get three of their colored stones in a row. That's called a mill. Then the player with the mill takes an opponent's stone off the board. Players keep moving stones and trying to get mills until their opponent has no stones left. Got it?"
I studied the board. The alcohol had made my mind a bit hazy, but so far no dead emperors had appeared and the floor was not pitching about. I was just as smart and in control of myself as any man in the pub! I could win this, easy.
"Oi! Rich bugger in the suit!"
I looked over. A red headed boy who looked younger than Ella was sitting at the next table and staring at me. He grinned, but it was more like a dog baring his teeth than a friendly smile. "Me?"
"Yeah, you! Fancy a game, young chap?" He guffawed. "Maybe it'll put some hair on your chest!"
The idea of a scratchy mat of hair on my chest made certain unmentionable areas under my corset begin to itch in protest, but I figured that if I took my shirt off to scratch, I may no longer be welcome among the ranks of the British Army. "I have more chest hair than you! I'm practically a bear under this shirt! Not that I'd show you, but take my word for it!"
He pointed at the stool across from him. "Then prove it! Or are ye pigeon-livered?"
I rose and plopped myself down across from him, stroking the place where I'd have a mustache if I were either truly male or my Aunt Genevieve. A crowd of rather sweaty and drunken soldiers was quickly gathering around us, stomping their boots or thumping mugs on tables.
The boy nodded to Captain Carter. "Cap'n," he slurred, executing what was either a half-hearted salute or a graceful imitation of someone swatting at flies.
"Flynn," Captain Carter said with a snappy bow. "Not getting too big for our britches, are we? I think you may be underestimating this young man."
"I can take 'im. I'll be surprised if I don't send him running back to his mother's apron strings!" There were general hoots and hollers from the onlookers, which I ignored, giving myself a pat on the back for my impressive amount of self control.
"Ladies first," I said to Flynn, enjoying the expression for once as his ears turned bright red. He placed his stone.
Although some grumbled that it was beginner's luck, by pure skill I made the first mill of the game and removed one of Flynn's black stones. The soldiers around me cheered, which made my chest puff up a bit, but they cheered again when the boy took one of my white stones.
Bloody traitors.
The game continued back and forth for a while. I would make brilliant moves -- offensively, at least -- and forget about defense long enough for Flynn to sneak in and make a mill.
After a while, I was sweating over a particular move. Either way I went would make a mill, but I wasn't sure which would be more beneficial to Flynn.
"Get a move on then, we haven't got all night," the boy said rather irritably.
"Quit ruining my concentration, blast you!" As I looked up, my eyes fastened on Captain Carter instead, where he was standing behind Flynn. As he met my eyes, he blinked several times very rapidly and then tugged on his left ear.
My mind, although always brilliant, was moving a bit sluggishly, and he had to repeat the move before the pieces clicked into place. I reached out and moved my stone to the left.
Flynn stared at the board, the sat up and stared some more, his mouth going slack. "He... you... he's made it impossible to me to move without opening the way for him to make a mill! Bloody hell, how did you do that?"
I caught Captain Carter's eye, and he winked briefly. "Hm... perhaps it's simply because I'm full of natural talent."
"Wait a minute!" shouted a soldier who had been watching the game. He pointed accusingly at innocent little me. "You cheated, you little hornswoggler!" His finger swung round to Captain Carter. "He told you what moves to make! I saw him!"
An irritated grumbling broke out among the people surrounding us.
Captain Carter held up his hands, palms out. "Now, men, there's no proof of that. It's just a friendly game, after all. No one's being robbed of any body parts over this."
However, the crowd obviously had other ideas, as one man shouted, "Like hell they're not!" and took a swing at Captain Carter's face.
~~~
Hornswoggler: a fraud or cheat
Neck oil: beer
Pigeon-livered: cowardly
Has anyone else out there ever played Nine Men's Morris? I've always found it fun (although I've never had to cut off a finger or toe for losing). Vote and comment if you so choose!