❝lie (pronounced lʌɪ or lahy), noun
an intentionally false statement.
e.g. he lied to her because he didn't have a choice.
also suicide tw❞
Drew heard shuddering sobs, and he opened his eyes tiredly. He glanced towards the clock. "Three am," he mumbled to himself. "Ellie?"
He sat up, rubbing his eyes and seeing Elle trying desperately to open the door to the balcony with her shaking hands. She was sobbing, her tank top hanging off one shoulder and her skinny legs knocking together, trembling harder than her hands. She was barely standing steady.
Drew stood up, the cold air of the night hitting his torso, and he slowly approached Elle. "My love?" he said hesitantly.
"N-No... n-need to get out... n-need to leave... w-why won't it open?"
"It's locked," he said. "Honey, what's wrong? Do you need some fresh air, is that it?"
"N-Need..."
"Amber?" he asked. Generally, when it was Amber, she'd start responding to him once he said her name.
But this time there was no response, which meant it wasn't Amber at all...
"N-Need... please, Drew..."
"Of course," he said, frowning slightly, and opened the door for her.
She ran to the balcony instantly, breathing in deep, calming breaths. Her mind was starting to become still now. She knew what she had to do. She looked ahead, resolutely, and pulled herself up, swinging a leg over the barrier. Her stomach dropped, and she would be soon after.
"Ellie?!" Drew raced to pull her back, and she screamed, "TOUCH ME, AND I SWEAR I'LL JUMP!"
He froze, staring her down. She looked deranged, and her eyes were... fluctuating. They went from their ordinary chocolate brown to a strange, cloudy look that he often saw in Amber. She was shaking violently, and Drew was terrified that she'd lose her grip. She was still holding on tightly to the balcony railing, but her foot was still over the edge, and should she choose to let go, she would be sent tumbling down.
He slowly moved towards her, so slowly that she didn't notice in her wild state. "Ellie, what's going on?" he asked softly. "Why are you doing this?"
"I.... remember..." She took a shuddering breath. "I remember everything... I-I remember... F-Frank... and A-Amber..."
"Remember?"
"I... saw... him... killed..." Fresh tears poured down her face, and Drew moved ever closer still. "I remember... Frank, he... walked in... oh f*ck, oh f*ck..."
"Breathe," he said very gently. He was so close... he could grab her if he just came one more step...
"I remember... every time... e-every time he..."
Suddenly, he grabbed her, and she screamed loudly, louder than he'd ever heard her. "LET ME GO! LET ME GO, F*CKING HELL, I JUST WANT- NO!"
"Ellie, you're not jumping!" he yelled over her screams, dragging her, kicking and screaming, back into the hotel room. She punched him, kicked him, bit his arm, but his grip on her didn't weaken as he pulled her back in, fighting against her to lock the door. She screamed loudly, hitting him, her eyes spilling with angry, terrified salt water.
"I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS, I CAN'T LIVE WITH THIS-" She broke down, screaming incoherently and fighting against Drew, who was struggling to hold her down, calm her. "LET ME GO!" she sobbed. "LET ME GO, YOU F*CKING BASTARD, LET ME GO!"
"I'm not letting you go," he breathed, his eyes filled with tears and his hands shaking. She escaped his grip and began pounding against the locked door again, before eventually giving up and bashing herself. She hit herself in the head over and over, sobbing each time, and he held her arms down, trying to calm her down, trying to make her stop. "Make it stop, make it s-stop," she begged the heavens, allowing herself to fall to the ground. Drew, crying as hard as she was at this point, sat beside her, pulling her into his chest and holding her tight, not letting her go. She was too weak to fight against him. They cried together, Elle letting out agonised screams and Drew hushing her gently.
They sat on the floor of a luxurious hotel room they didn't belong in, drowning in each others pain. Eventually, Elle's anguished screams became crying, then whimpers, then... silence. Silence interrupted by occasional hiccupping from them both. Drew had been singing soothingly through his own tears, singing all her favourite songs as though it was enough.
Both too tired to go back to the bed that was two feet away, they slept on the floor, not speaking. They pretended that their exhaustion was simply the lateness of the hour, and not a moment that would change life as they knew it yet again.
<><><><><><><><>
Elle opened her eyes, heavy with sleep and exhaustion. She could feel Drew's chest beneath her, rising and falling with each soft breath. She squinted at the time. One in the afternoon. The room was bathed in a golden light, beautiful sunrays peeking in between the gaps in the curtains. They had fallen asleep propped up against the wall, Elle curled up in Drew's lap, her head resting on his shoulder.
"D-Drew?" she whispered, and he grumbled slightly, opening his eyes and looking at her. He gazed at her for a second too long, before hugging her close.
"Jesus, Ellie," he breathed.
"I'm sor-"
"Don't apologise. How do you feel? Do you need to see a doctor? You were hitting yourself pretty hard."
She sat up, giving him room to move, and he stretched his neck with a wince. "I'm okay, I think," she said softly, rubbing her head. It was hurting. "Head hurts a little. Maybe ibuprofen."
"R-Right, right," he muttered, standing. He helped her up, and sat her down on the bed, and she almost instantly fell back and lay there, her bones aching. Images, like damaged film, kept flashing before her eyes. Suddenly, she wasn't lying on the hotel bed- she was in Frank's disgusting living room, the smell of sweat, alcohol and cigarettes filling the room and her body was on a springy mattress, and her body was burning. She let out a gasp, and the hotel room swam back into focus as she felt tears fill her eyes.
Drew returned with a painkiller and a kiss. "Are you sure you're okay, Ellie?"
"I'm fine, I- I just-" She took a shuddering breath. "F-F*ck..."
He sat in front of her, taking her hands. "Do you need a doctor? A psychologist?"
An image flashed in front of her eyes, and Drew wasn't Drew, he was Frank, and he was kneeling in front of her with a smirk on his face. She managed to control herself, and didn't cry out or react, but Drew noticed her tense up, anyway. "That's it. We're going to a hospital, Ellie."
"N-No-"
"No arguing with me on this one." He walked back to their closet. "Are you feeling up to getting dressed?"
She shook her head and began to cry, and Drew wiped her tears, gently kissing her. "Let me get changed. We'll leave now, okay? Are you in pain?"
It was just her head. Just her goddamn head. She didn't want to speak, though, so she just kept crying. He wrapped an arm around her waist as he organised an Uber, and slowly took her down the elevator, ignoring the gaze of everyone watching. No one else mattered in that moment, anyway. Only Ellie.
<><><><><><><><>
"Hello?"
"Drew! We heard Elle was-"
"She's sleeping. She'll be fine." He leaned forward, closing his eyes and letting go of Elle's hand to swipe it through his unstyled mess of hair. "I'm sorry I didn't call earlier."
"You don't want us to come?" asked Ryan.
"I... don't think... look, it's lovely of you to offer, but I think she needs to just rest right now. I know it's inconvenient for you both to fly over right now-"
"It's not inconvenient, but..."
"Your choice," said Drew tiredly. "She remembers. She broke down because she managed to get past whatever it was that was blocking her thoughts from Amber's, and she wasn't ready."
Ryan was silent for a long time, then let out a deep sigh. "We can't expect much more than that. I've heard Amber talk about it, it's not... yeah."
"Maybe you should book a flight," he said. "It'd be good for her to see you again."
"I'll talk to Hunter," she said. "Take care of yourself too, won't you darling?"
"I'm doing my best."
"Good. Love you."
"Love you, too. I'll call soon," he promised, before hanging up with a deep sigh.
He was beyond tired. They'd barely slept at all, really. Lying on the floor, he'd been in and out of sleep in some kind of delirious dreamscape. Nothing felt real. Now he was sitting here, beside Elle, who'd been passed out cold for the past however long, and time didn't feel real, because it was midnight and yet it felt like they'd only been there five minutes.
Drew stood up, kissing Elle's forehead, and squeezing her hand. "I'll be back soon, my love," he breathed, before leaving her room, his head aching at the mere idea of the costs this room would be on their already slim budget. He knew that lying to Elle about the hotel and courts had been a bad idea- she wasn't an idiot. All of this was out of his own pocket, and he needed to get back to earning, because he was already far too debt-ridden to get through this. He felt his eyes fill with tears as he went outside, the cold night air smacking him in the face. He wanted to scream, but didn't even have the energy to use his voice. He couldn't think straight. He needed a drink. No, he needed Elle. He needed Elle to talk him down from this, needed her to help him get through. It was the two years they'd been apart all over again. His head was hurting. F*ck, his head hurt so bad.
One day, he promised himself, he'd get somewhere. He'd do twenty jobs if he needed to, but he downright refused to just sit and take it. He loved Elle. He would give the world to her if she only gave him her love in return, and give her the world, he would.
He took a deep breath, straightening up to his full height. It made him feel a little more confident, not standing in his shitty posture, and he ran a hand through his hair. He would walk back to the hotel. He'd get rest- he'd get rest, then he'd be back to the hospital, wearing nice clothing and his hair straight, and his life together.
When he came back, he'd pretend nothing was wrong. He'd ask Elle to marry her, like he always did, and then he'd kiss her, and he'd take care of her like he always did, without any mention of the past, unless she brought it up herself.
He could manage that much. Even if it was only that much.
<><><><><><><><>
Elle woke up. They were at home. They were at home, and Drew was tapping away on his laptop, and it was a little dark, but warm.
When she opened her eyes, she wasn't home. She was in a hospital room, and her head was hurting a little less, and Drew was sitting beside her. It looked like time had definitely passed since she had gotten here. Drew's hair was perfectly styled again, his clothes the usual t-shirt and jeans, and he was leaning back, typing with a small frown.
"Drew," she said croakily, and he looked up, a small smile lighting up his face.
"Hey, stranger," he said, standing and giving her a cup of water. She adjusted her bed, and took a few sips. "Feeling okay?"
Another image flashed before her eyes, and she didn't stop to acknowledge its existence. "Sure. Better, I guess."
He pulled her into a hug, and felt her arms tighten around his shoulders. She was crying. He hushed her gently and breathed, "It'll be okay, you hear?"
"I want to go home."
"We just need a statement from you, and then we're straight back home, okay? We need to get that done, and then we're home."
She stared at him, tears in her eyes, and nodded slowly. "You'll be there?"
"Every single moment." He kissed her forehead, then pressed the cup into her hand again. She took small sips, her head hurting like hell. "On the bright side, you don't need any more of the pills."
"Huh?"
He smiled gently. "You're in remission. At least, you nearly are. In a week, they want to check again, and they're taking you off the pills to see how you fare without them."
She smiled. She could feel herself smiling, despite being able to see all these horrible visions and memories. "Next week is when you talk in court, too. We've given the new evidence to the courts, and you'll be able to tell them what you remember from Amber's perspective."
"O-Okay," she breathed.
He kissed her gently, one hand moving up to her hair and the other holding her waist. She felt steady. Calm. Her heart rate slowed, and her hand moved to his chest.
"Everything is going to be fine," he said softly.
"You're sure?"
"I would never lie to you," he lied, before holding up his pinky.
*a/n: hum
nethii <3
ps: in case no one has told you today, you're beautiful and you deserve happiness, bless you all <3*