The day of the funeral, dressed all in black with a tear stained face. I am supposed to say something during the funeral about him, I can't even think about him without crying though. Losing Ryan was like losing a brother, and my heart physically hurts the more I think of him.
I can't even walk by the casket, I don't want to see him like this, he is supposed to be alive and happy, he had a life ahead of him and now it's gone.
Family members are speaking, people are crying, I don't know what's being said because I'm trying to not be sick from the pain in my heart and stomach.
Ryan's dad gives me a hug and walks up to the podium. It's my turn to talk next. "Ryan was my only son, he was a great kid," I don't know what to say. "He was smart, kind, and funny." Why is my heart throbbing so much? "He would help out anyone that was in need and would make them laugh when they were feeling down." Is my heart supposed to be beating this fast? Dad talked a little more then called my name to speak.
Walking up there I looked out at everyone. I had tears running down my face, a lump in my throat, and my heart was beating really fast. "Ryan was my best friend, my brother. He saved me at school from all the jerks that used to bully me and-" I felt the room spinning and grabbed onto the podium. The room was getting dark and I heard my name being called from far away, but I let the dark consume me.
When I woke up I was surrounded by people looking down at me concerned. Why would they be concerned about me though, I'm the reason they are here wearing black. Ryan's dad told me that they already buried Ryan if I wanted to go to his grave I could. I got up and they helped me walk out to Ryan. I kneeled next to his headstone and sobbed for my brother.
Ryan Matthews
May 17, 1998 to July 28, 2017
Gone but never forgotten.