Unedited.
Chapter One
I woke up. My eyelids opened. It was another day. Another day closer to what would inevitably be the end. An end no one really knew about.
I rolled to my back, crisp sheets gliding across my skin, and stared up at the ceiling. A ceiling that hadn’t changed often over the years. The first one was blue, blue like the sky over the ocean on a sunny day. Though I grew tired of the painful reminder, I didn’t paint over it. I just switched rooms, migrating to the more permanent housing the Guild provided for its members and away from my rather painful recruit year.
The space was bigger but at the same time, similar. More things fit, not that I had much; and I got a guest room, not that I used it. Mismatched chairs and lamps along with all the bits, bobs, and artwork I’d collected over the years. It all decorated the walls, bookshelves, and tables surrounding the couch.
My eyes shifted to the left to read the time. Four a.m.. Early. Only a handful of hours sleep. Over the years, the amount I’d needed had dwindled and for that I was grateful. Less sleep meant fewer nightmares. Fewer nightmares meant less mornings waking up with an adrenaline high which would take me most of the morning to come down off of.
Deciding it was time to start the day; I rolled once more and sat up. The carpet I’d placed under the bed protected my feet from the cold floor but I could still feel the chill in the air surround my legs.
The carpet didn’t help my head though. A steady pound had started and I knew what it was. No confusion here. I needed coffee but before that…
Without needing to switch on the light, I reached out in the dark and grabbed the crystal tumbler off the nightstand.
The best way I’d found to defuse a hangover headache was to drink a little in the morning and combine it with caffeine of choice quickly after. I doubt it worked for anyone else but for me, it was magic.
As I lifted the glass to my lips, I felt the familiar self-loathing bubble up in my chest and like every morning, I let myself feel it. I hated what I’d become, despised it. The life I was living wasn’t the one I’d imagined when I was young. But back then, I was naïve, believing love could conquer all and happily-ever-afters existed for everyone.
I’d discovered the truth of my beliefs and in a way, it had made me bitter. I wore that bitterness like one would a jacket, using it to defend myself and push others who would be my friend away.
But on the occasional morning, the self-hatred would burn away with the beginnings of the hangover. Then I’d be marginally more clearheaded and able to find myself amongst the tangles in my own head.
This morning wasn’t one of those better mornings. I knew it the moment the amber liquid touched my tongue and scorched down my throat as I swallowed. Today was going to be one hell of a day.
I could feel it.
Finally, I flicked on the light and as usual, my eyes landed on the painting across from my bed. It hung on my wall like it always had, ever since I’d received it when I was a teenager. The lack of color always surprised me, even this morning as I rolled the small glass between my palms. The blacks, whites, and grays made the painting unique. The color of my dark brown hair and the feather I held in my hand was what made it extraordinary.
I hated it. And I loved it at the same time. Why I hadn’t destroyed it or packed it up with some of the others, I didn’t know. Several times I’d taken it off the wall to remove it from the apartment but a wave of nostalgia always made me put it back. So there it stayed much to my annoyance.
Movement came from behind me, signaling my bedmate was awake. Or conscious enough to know I was no longer laying next to him. A calloused hand slid around my waist and tightened, trying to draw me back down. But I wouldn’t let myself be sucked back in. It wasn’t an option.
My waist was released and the rough palm roamed upward and upward until he cupped my left breast. The lids of my eyes closed, the agitation of the morning getting worse, and I released a breath before brushing his hand away. We went through this every morning, as it was his way of figuring out my mood. Sometimes I would be ok and I would play around with him but other times, like this morning, I would just move away. Close myself off from him and everything else.
“You really are a cold-hearted bitch,” I heard him mutter behind me.
I controlled my expression and looked at him over my shoulder. “You didn’t seem to mind last night.”
“And I don’t much care now.”
Not responding to that, I turned back around and finished off what I had in my glass. Today was definitely not going to be a good day. I got up, grabbed some clothes, and went to the bathroom, slamming the door closed behind me. I needed to run in order to take the edge off the meanness.
I ran more than a normal person should. Sometimes I thought I was trying to outrun the past, at least my memories of it anyway. But I should’ve known by now. One cannot simply run from memories. You can only not think of them and I tried to do that as much as possible.
The only time I stopped thinking was when my feet were pounding the pavement.
So I ran. From Sword & Arrow to the park and then back. Every morning and night. Same thing, day in and day out, not much deviation unless I decided to go further.
When I left, my bedmate had rolled to his stomach in order to go back to sleep, burying his face deep into the pillow. When I got back, he was still there, sparking a bit of agitation that he wasn’t getting a move on. There were things to get done, cases to solve, and more importantly, neither of us wanted anyone to see him leaving the apartment.
I avoided thinking of him and the bed and went straight to taking a quick shower. Today was important on so many levels and in a way, I wanted it done and over with. There was no time to dwell on the man currently gracing my bed or the bad mood I couldn’t shake.
But I wanted to. I wanted to enjoy his company. I wanted to go back to bed, go back to sleep, and when I woke up, I wanted to enjoy him. I wanted to feel something other than what I did right now. Exhausted. Sad. Unhappy. Just plan…dark. I wanted the good emotions back, the ones that put genuine smiles on my face instead of having to fake my way through everything.
It never happened. It was as if that part of me was dead and gone, detached from the whole of me. Hell, I didn’t even know if there was a part of me capable of being the happy go lucky girl used to be.
But I wanted to.
The shower portion of the day ended and I moved into getting ready. After getting dressed in all black, I put my hair up in a high bun and secured it with a holder. The whole ensemble made me look severe. Scary.
When I exited the bathroom, he was sitting at the edge of the bed. He’d clearly just woken up, the grogginess of sleep still clinging to his face.
“Haven’t you left yet?” I snapped.
It slipped out before I could censor my irritation and I was rewarded with the full, angry brunt of his attention. He looked up at me; startling green eyes met my own and it forced me I blink. Varying emotions shocked through me, none of which I could dwell on.
“Sorry I’m not moving fast enough for you.”
His voice was gruff and deep, the quality of it causing my reaction to him to heighten. “I’m sorry,” I stuttered, a crack in my otherwise perfectly bitchy demeanor. “I didn’t mean…”
“Of course you did. You always do.”
He stood up, letting the sheet drop, and giving me the full frontal view of his nakedness. Not that I looked because my eyes were still locked with his. Seeing him in the buff was an everyday occurrence. Having him look me straight on was rare.
Without looking away, he pulled up his pants and zipped up his fly. The bunching of his arm muscles as he did it not going unnoticed.
“I didn’t,” I said sternly.
He approached me, his hands clenching and releasing at his sides. A brief smile graced his face until the lack of sleep took back over and he ran one of those hands through his longer than usual brown hair.
“I know what you meant even if you didn’t say it. You want me gone and for some reason this morning, you’re impatient about it. Callous, if you really want to get specific, bitchy if you want to be nice about it.”
That hurt. It really did and for reasons I wasn’t about to examine. I folded my expression behind a cold exterior, hid it all away.
“Same time tonight?”
“Direct and to the point.” He grinned, the expression not reaching his eyes. “The only thing different about this morning. You already know my answer.”
He leaned forward and kissed me, softly at first until the intensity built to clothes ripping levels. He didn’t touch me anywhere else, making it so I was the first one to try and reach out. My hand maybe got within a fraction of an inch from his chest before he grabbed my wrist, stopping me. I kissed him harder, expressing exactly what I wanted, and I heard the release of breath through his nose. Felt it against my face.
Reaching up with my other hand, I hoped he’d changed his mind and something about this morning would indeed be different, but he grabbed that one too. Both of my hands were transferred to one of his and he pinned them roughly against my chest, the shove so hard my whole body rocked back.
But our mouths remained engaged and I didn’t want to give up. I wanted this morning to be different, for there to be a sign that today wasn’t going to be as shitty as I knew it would be. That maybe, I would get what I wanted today instead of the routine I’d come to expect.
I tried to step forward, to bring our bodies into contact, but he stepped further away and effectively ended the kiss. The feel of hope dying inside me made my heart clench and become painful.
He took a few more steps back and kept me in place with a locked elbow. The only sign I got that he’d been as affect as I was was those intense green eyes staring at me with passion and desire. But even that, too, he took away from me as he slid it away and put his own mask on.
I wasn’t the only one bitter about the way things turned out.
“You know the rules,” he said through gritted teeth. “This stops when you get out of bed and you did that over an hour ago.”
Disappointment seared through me but I hid it by rolling my eyes and wrenching my wrists out of his hands.
“Fine. Lock up when you’re done.”
I turned my back on him and left my apartment, letting the self-loathing grab firmly a hold. His actions and the way he treated me was my own fault. I’d been setting him away for a while, making it even more intense than usual over the past couple of months. The reasons were numerous but the most important one was I didn’t want to hurt him. He was the only one who remained, the captain who was willing to go down with the ship. Not that I liked thinking of myself as a ship but it was true.
I was sinking and even after all this time, after enduring the way I treated him, he wouldn’t bail. He was sinking down with me, to the moment when I would die and thus, drowning everyone who still cared one iota about me. It was inevitable, a reality I’d been settled with since I was eighteen and survived a rather unpleasant experience with a sadistic Vampire.
So, as you can see, being bitter and hating myself was the least of my worries. The expiration date stamped on my forehead and the fact I was still in position to hurt someone with my impending demise was severe and very much on the top of my to-deal-with list.
But not today.
Today would be taken up by other things.
I walked down the hall and to the elevator, my mind kicking up the details on the case I was working and how I’d go about solving it. This was basically the only time of the day I had to worry about getting lost in my head. Every other moment of the day I could busy myself with other things but this short walk to the elevator always had my mind wandering.
I punched the up button and waited. The elevator dinged and the doors slid open, revealing an empty compartment. I stepped in and inserted my key, twisting to the right to enable the elevator to work. The security measures within the Guild weren’t as top notch as other places but one would be surprised how difficult it was to access the Guild’s living quarters.
I punched the button for the ground floor and waited.
All the living quarters were located under the Sword & Arrow. The front for the Guild was a hotel, a high end hotel that your average American couldn’t afford a single night for. I’d first come here when I was seventeen and at the time, I was surprised by the establishment. But that was back when I’d still been deciding on my future and before the incident with the before mentioned sadistic Vampire.
Out of habit, I reached up and rubbed at the bite mark on the side of my neck. It wasn’t my only one, which wasn’t normal for Slayers. Getting bitten was taboo and I’d managed, all before turning eighteen, to get snacked on three times.
The elevator binged, signaling the oncoming boarding of more passengers. I moved my hand to the tattoo on the back of my neck marking me as a member of Sword & Arrow.
The tattoo was different for each Guild. For the one I as in, it was exactly like the name. The ancient tools of the trade, a sword crossing an arrow, were branded to the back of your neck after successfully completing your rookie year, aka recruit year, and being accepted into the Guild. The little arrows surrounding my mark told how many enemies I’d managed to defeat. Or killed, if you aren’t afraid of the raw truth.
The back of my neck was covered in them and the Artist had long ago started down my spine when room ran out, making an intricate design out of a horrid reality. Killing people, though they were evil, was still something that sat wrong with me even though I didn’t often show it. Taking a life wasn’t something to be proud of.
I missed my floor and the exodus of the other passengers while reminiscing about the past. So when the doors opened on the floor up from the one I was supposed to be on, I got out and took the stairs down.
Time to officially get started and deal with everything that entailed.
I walked to my office and opened the door, my lovely assistant already waiting at her desk.
“Good morning, Ms. Vertigo. Lena’s on the prompter for you.” She held out a Bluetooth earwig as I passed.
I’d still yet to have my coffee but the headache was manageable for now. “Thank you, Olivia.”
I opened the set of doors leading to my actual office and wasn’t surprised when I saw the prompter already lowered from the middle of the ceiling. Projected on the clear glass panel was the image of my boss, sitting at her desk and looking over some paperwork while she waited.
My office was sound proofed and as I closed the doors behind me, I tried to remember that. I didn’t care if Olivia overheard anything during this conversation but sometimes delicate information made its way across my desk she couldn’t overhear.
I was Second in Command of the Guild in New York, the youngest member to ever hold the position. That’s what warranted the office. I didn’t really care about any of it; all this was done just to pass the time.
As soon as the doors clicked closed, the Bluetooth had gone live. Lena’s attention wasn’t fully on me yet but after a few steps closer, I watched her put down the paperwork and look at me.
“Georgiana. So nice of you to grace us with your presence.” Lena’s voice sounded amused, not at all chastising. “Good morning.”
I answered with nod but didn’t speak. This meeting was common knowledge amongst the Guild but my stomach was still a pit of nerves. I was suddenly very thankful I hadn’t had my morning coffee yet. Having it rolling around with the small amount of alcohol would’ve been bad.
“We can convene now,” Lena said.
The other leaders of the Guilds appeared in a circle around Lena’s picture. They all greeted me with cordial hellos and appraising looks.
“Now,” Lena said. “It’s time to vote on my chosen successor. All in favor, say I.”
A chorus of I’s rang out and I tried not to let it show how petrified their answers made me. I bowed slightly instead, showing respect instead of the fear I was feeling. Did I want this job? Not really. Did I have much of a choice? Not really, again.
“You were the only choice candidate,” Graham Cave said, leader of the Pacific Coast Guild. It was known as Gates & Bars. “Since Phillies didn’t want the position,” he added snidely.
My nomination for Leader, Second in Command even, had been frowned upon. Most were unsure having a Slayer hybrid in a Guild was a good idea, let alone hold a powerful office inside one. Lena had to do some convincing and sweet talking but in the end, they’d all looked passed my heritage to my stunning and spotless performance record.
“Thank you all,” Lena said. The pictures disappeared one by one. “Now, time to get down to actual Guild business. Has there been progress on the case yet?”
The case she was referring to was difficult. Someone was going around NYC killing major members of the Otherworld community. What made it worse was the killer placing their bodies on display around the city where everyone could see them, even the humans.
“No,” I answered.
Lena didn’t look at all happy but she’d expected it. The killer was good, barely leaving any evidence behind for us to work with. “There was an attempt made last night, but the intended victim escaped.”
I frowned, finding her information suspicious. “How do we know the killer from my case was the one who did it? This guy is methodical and calculated. I don’t think he would’ve allowed one of his victims to escape let alone get the chance to try.”
“There were some similarities to the way the other victims were taken to the way the escapee was attacked. He’s requested a security detail from the Guild and I want you to head it up until you’re able to ensure this was indeed our killer.”
“Me? Why?”
“You’re the best. And it’s your last test before you become Leader. Always go back to your basics, Georgiana. There’s a car outside waiting to take you to him.”
“So the escapee is male?” I posed both of my hands on my hips. That did match as the other victims were all men.
“Yes and he’s requested to remain nameless until you meet with him. I suspect he doesn’t want to look foolish in case he’s being over cautious in thinking both cases are connected.”
Great. Just what I needed. “Who do you want to accompany?”
“No one. The file is on your desk and you’re going in alone. Good luck, Georgiana. You’re going to need it.”
Lena clicked off and I sighed. This was a disaster. The last time I was on a security detail was ages ago and I was a tad rusty on all the protocols.
I picked up the file she’d mentioned and glanced over the details.
The victim was on his way to dinner with his fiancée when he was attacked from behind. The description of the attacker was simple; tall, over six feet, and wearing a ski mask. The attacker used a tool of the trade, a stake, which lead me to believe the intended victim was a Vampire.
Well, that explained why the escapee wanted to remain anonymous. Vampires were cocky and arrogant. Admitting he was attacked to Lena had probably bruised his ego a little. Asking for the detail had probably emasculated him entirely.
There were hundreds of Vampires in New York City and over two dozen of them were prominent members. Slimming down the possibilities was impossible.
I took the file with me and headed out, planning to delegate this security detail to someone else after having the meeting. It would take me that long to figure out if the cases were linked.
“Forward my calls to my cell,” I said to Olivia as I passed her desk.
“Will do, Boss. Anything else I should know?”
“Start packing. We’re moving up.” I gave her a brief smile before leaving.
The car sent to collect me was a generic black town car with darkly tinted windows. When I got in, I didn’t realize how darkly tinted until I couldn’t see out. The car went around and around, trying to make me lose track of where we were and after an hour, I had. Once I lost track, I started to go over the dossier with a fine tooth comb, memorizing what details were provided and arranging a list of questions I needed to ask.
When the car stopped, it was an hour and half later and I had a cramp in my lower back from sitting too long. The driver came around to open my door and I stepped out, the irritation I was feeling this morning when I woke up ramping up to an almost unbearable level.
We were parked in front of several expensive-looking residences, telling me nothing about where I might be. I’d expected the meeting to take place in an office, not at a personal residence. Maybe the Vampire was injured from the attack, a detail he’d willingly omitted and if he was leaving details out this early, I imagined he wasn’t going to be easy to deal with.
I stood on the sidewalk for a moment, looking around for certain details to try and locate myself. Then my cell rang.
“Vertigo.”
“Gee.”
There were few things left in my life that made me smile. My brother topped the list.
“Sebastis Vertigo. To what do I owe the honor of your phone call?”
“Well, I don’t know, Georgiana Vertigo. What do you think?”
Both of us were joking around and it was nice. We knew why he was calling and I really couldn’t wait for him to tell me what I wanted to hear. Because if I could rely on anything, it was my brother being predictable.
“Have you spawned again? Actually gotten hair on your chest?”
There was a bark of laughter on his end, the sound making a full on smile bloom on my face. “I was calling to inform you I’ve left my house and am now heading in your general direction. I actually would’ve left five minutes earlier but Sophia was being difficult.”
“Why didn’t you just bring her? I wouldn’t have minded, you know. Having my niece around would’ve been a nice change of pace.”
And it was true. Having my brother’s little girl running around my apartment would’ve been heaven for me. Probably not so much for him since he came to visit me when he needed a weekend getaway, something of which he hadn’t indulged in for a while.
“I know but…”
I sighed, knowing exactly what he was hinting at. “Sophie said no.”
“She doesn’t understand why you don’t come home for a visit. Hell, if I didn’t know the truth of things, I’d be asking the same questions she is. She misses you, Gremlin.”
She had every right to be upset with me. I hadn’t been home since I departed my parents’ proverbial nest, not even for the birth of my niece. When I didn’t come up with a good enough excuse for Sophie, she cut me off. Exactly what I’d wanted her to do.
My previous smile had long since dropped off my face and I could feel the hard exterior I usually projected slip back into place.
“As much as I’d love to talk about this, I actually have to get ready to meet a client.”
“Oh, come on, Georgiana! You were supposed to be off for this visit. You promised!”
He was pissed. I knew I needed to explain myself before he turned back around and canceled the trip. It was the last thing I wanted and I was rather desperate to see him.
And he knew it.
“It’s just a protection detail, Bast,” I soothed. “I have to meet with the client before I can delegate. I’ll be all yours after, no work intervening. I promise.”
“You swear?”
“Yes. I swear.”
He took a few seconds but finally he said, “Alright.”
“Have a safe flight and call me when you land.”
“I love you, you know?”
“Yeah. Me too, Bast.”
I ended the call and stared down at the screen, not letting myself feel what I needed to. The reason I was desperate to get him here, to see him, was because this was my last chance. After this trip, neither of us would have the time to see the other. And with March quickly approaching…
This was the last chance I had to see my brother. To spend time with him. I needed this and I was allowing myself to have it.
“Ms. Vertigo?”
I looked up from the screen to the driver who’d been waiting patiently for me to finish my call. With the phone safely stowed in my pocket, I asked, “Where am I going?”
“Right there, ma’am.” He held his hand out in the direction of the house he’d parked in front of. “Hit the button on the gate and someone will buzz you in. They’re expecting you.”
I nodded and headed to the house with the imposing full-size gate door. And technically it wasn’t even the front door. Just the gateway in order to get to path leading to the front door. The gate on either side was black wrought iron with little gold spikes alternating the tips. With file in hand, I stepped up to press the button but before I could even lift my arm, it buzzed and unlocked.
They were watching me. Interesting.
I opened it and started up the steps. An elderly gentleman was on the other side of the glass storm door and opened it for me with a warm smile.
He ushered me in with a “May I take your coat?”. Winter in New York was always brutal and this one was no different. They were calling for snow this evening and I was just hoping my brother would arrive before it started.
I handed over my coat and he hung it up in a closet, everything he did in clear view so I wouldn’t think anything shady was happening.
“This way, Ms. Vertigo. He’ll see you in his office.”
I followed him, holding my hands behind my back and taking everything in with a complete mask of control. There were boxes stacked against the one wall of the entryway.
Something was going on. The “box” theme extended up to the second floor hallway, making it a comfortable one person walkway. The lavish affect wasn’t diminished, however. This Vampire was rich and if I had to go off what I was seeing, he was relocating.
Several pieces of artwork that had once hung on the wall were being packed up into crates. Others were still in place; the artists including Picasso and Van Gogh. Marble sculptures were being covered in plastic while fresh flowers were still being placed on a table at the end of the hall.
There was nothing personal. No crest telling me which of the two Covens he belonged to or family pictures or paintings. It tended to happen, I found. The older the Vampire, the less likely you were to find anything of personal meaning where outsiders else could see it. They kept those types of things close to the chest and weren’t as showy as the younger, newly developed or turned Vampires.
The gentleman led me up another set of stairs and halfway down another hall before stopping. If I had to guess, the rooms behind the few doors I saw were large, taking up at least half of the floor. We were stopped in front of a set of french wooden doors, solid with no windows. He opened the door and ushered me in.
“He’ll be with you in a moment. Go in and have a seat. Please excuse the boxes.”
The door closed behind me and I suddenly found myself alone. Very particular but over the years, I’d gotten used to the strange, abnormal, and uncomfortable. I had a mild case of claustrophobia, stemming from some rather unsavory circumstances, so I tried to keep my mind off the fact I was surrounded by four unfamiliar walls. Two of which were lined with shelves of books, from ceiling to floor with the only break being for a door to my left. A set of floor to ceiling windows were directly across from me behind an overly large oak desk. Two leather chairs sat in front of it and a normal leather desk chair behind. I walked over and skimmed my hand across the back of one of the chairs. The leather was buttery smooth and the shade of warm caramel.
No dust.
I didn’t sit down like I was instructed; instead I placed the file on one of the chairs and walked over to the nearest bookcase. Half of the wall was empty, presumably the books already being packed up in the boxes stacked by the door. I glanced over the titles of the remaining books and noticed most of them had worn overused spines.
There were numerous copies of Shakespeare’s plays.
I frowned and plucked a random one off the shelf. It was at least a decade old and the picture gracing half of the cover reminded me of my old textbook from when I was in school.
Turning it on its side, I noticed the bottom half of the book had water damage and something about it triggered a red flag in my head. Resting the back cover flat against my hand, I flipped it open to the beginning of the water damage. I felt all the blood rush out of my face and my hand gripped hard around the edge of the un-ruined pages.
I needed to leave, tell Lena she’d have to choose someone else for this assignment.
Before I could do as much as shut the book, a door opened behind me and on instinct I turned around. Not that I needed to who it was. I knew perfectly well which Vampire had opened the door.
My eyes locked with a very familiar set of chocolate brown irises.
~*~
Dedicated to Sascha. The one person who has waited longer than anyone for this. I love you, my aussie friend!