Tuesday brought with it the first day of school and in me mixed feelings. I wasn't that excited to be back, but considering that this would be my last year, I was counting down the days until graduation. Besides, I had quite the incentive within these walls--Brooke Berry. My...was she my girlfriend? Smiling, I closed my locker having resolved that I would formally ask her tonight. Perhaps I could ask while presenting her with a rose.
Turning toward the left, I nearly ran into Tanya Gunther. Crap. I looked up at her popping a wad of pink bubblegum. It was so annoying. Everything about the cheerleader was annoying. However, the taller figure standing on Tanya's right wasn't. I recalled that two out of the remaining three girls surrounding her were cheerleaders, and the other on the Dragonfly softball team with Brooke. I didn't remember their names, though one of those cheerleaders had secured a spot on my list. Not all of the Dragonfly cheerleaders were bad. Just those that preferred to hang out with Tanya, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out the appeal.
Tanya's annoying gum smacking recaptured my attention. I hoped that I wouldn't have to strike her with the thick calculus book in my hands. I was determined to get through my high school career without having to attend detention or being suspended. "Howdy, Cooper. How was y'alls summer?"
I glanced toward Brooke. Her eyes were riveted to the floor. "Fine, Tanya." I would have inquired about hers, but why pretend to be interested? I would have been wasting her time as well as my own.
She smirked as she looked between Brooke and I. "A little birdie has been sittin' on my shoulder. Y'all wanna know what it told me?" I supposed that was my cue to reply 'what did the birdie say' but I just stared at her, so Tanya went on. "I heard that you and B.B. were at the park with those lil' friends of yours. Tell me, is that true?" She waited for either Brooke or I to confirm this. The softball player said nothing. I started to feel nauseous.
"What do you care?"
"We care because Baby Dyke shouldn't be hanging out with one of our own," what's-her-name annoying cheerleader #2 answered me. "B.B., what's going on between you and her? Haven't seen much of you since that party two weeks ago." When she pointed at me, I wanted to snap her damn finger off. And just so you know, I don't usually condone violence. These people just brought out the worst in me.
Finally meeting my face with an unreadable expression affixed to her own, Brooke shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing," she softly responded. Clearing her throat, she spoke in a louder voice. "I was spending some time with Coop--Cooper, but uh...it didn't mean anything. It was like charity. You know," pasting on a grin, she looked toward her friends, "it was my good deed for the end of the summer." As they laughed I felt my heart crumbling. Now I wished that this had been a dream.
Throwing an arm around the softball player's shoulders, Tanya grinned at her. "Y'all are so sweet to spend time with Baby Dyke, B.B."
Brooke refused to look at me any further. "Thank you, Tanya. Hey guys let's go. I don't want to miss first period. Kyle is going to be in my class, and I swear he got even hotter over summer break. Makes Brad Pitt look like a troll!" Ignoring me, she walked right passed me along with the small group. Calculus book clenched in my hands, I headed in the opposite direction, tears stinging my eyes. I couldn't wait to get out of this hell called high school.
Relieved that the first day back was officially over, I walked through the bustling student parking lot with the strap of an already heavy backpack slung over my shoulder. I ignored the small cell vibrating in my pants pocket, figuring that it was most likely Julie again. Having discovered me weeping underneath a tree at lunchtime, she immediately folded me into a comforting embrace, insisting that I tell her what was wrong. I felt like an even bigger idiot when she didn't even appear surprised over how Brooke had selected to treat me that morning.
Incensed on my behalf, I had to beg my best friend not to find Brooke and Julie's words verbatim 'punch the bitch into the next century'. Growing up with four brothers very much into roughhousing, and having witnessed Julie on more than one occasion getting the best of them, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that she could punch Brooke into the twenty-second century.
Hm, perhaps I should answer the phone. For all I knew, she could have been stalking the softball player at that precise moment. Ten feet away from the car, my steps ended as I reached for the vibrating device. Just as I flipped it open, Brooke's voice reached my ear. Annoyed with the tingle shooting through my belly just because she called out to me, I resumed walking while pressing the phone to my ear.
"Hey, Julie, on my way home. Call you back once I arrive."
"Are you okay?" she asked. I could easily detect her concern through the speaker.
Although far from it, I did my best to reassure her. "Talk soon."
"Okay, babe. I love you. Drive safe."
"I love you too, and you do the same." Phone snapped shut, I'd reached the drivers side of my car when a hand clasped my shoulder over the backpack strap. Ignoring another tingle, I shrugged that hand off, and turned to regard her, desperately hoping that I appeared aloof. "What, Brooke?"
She seemed to nervously lick those lips, which I'd happily kissed just the day before. "I..." She glanced toward my abundantly used yet wholly reliable vehicle. "Could we sit in your car? And talk, Coop?"
"Why do you want to get in my car, Brooke? Afraid that your friends will spot you talking to the lesbian leper? And you've lost the right to call me that."
"That's not the way I see you."
"Is that so? Well, your behavior from this morning states otherwise."
Hazel eyes filled with water. Hm, thinking back to the little speech she gave just before commencing to take my virginity, I supposed Brooke was just a good actress. "I'm sorry. So very sorry," she brokenly whispered. Reaching out to me, as if to touch my face, I wasn't certain which of us I surprised more when I slapped hers with such exuberance that her head actually turned.
Various conversations around us died upon a few students viewing and/or hearing the slap that had already caused Brooke's cheek to turn bright red. Thinking that it might bruise, I tried shrugging off the guilt, yet unable to. Pain radiating from my palm down to my fingertips, I gingerly flexed my hand, an apology on the tip of my tongue.
"No, y'all did not just hit my girl!" I audibly groaned. Crap. Where did she come from? Well, besides the Witches R' Us department store. I happened to believe that she was their spokesmodel. Looking toward her, Brooke attempted to speak, yet Tanya (with a few minions in tow) interrupted as she stopped before us, hands on her hips. "What the hell was that about?" She glared at me, minions adopting similar expressions.
I glared in return, thinking that I should have reserved that slap for the cheerleader. "None of your business."
She lifted an overly plucked eyebrow. Someone was fascinated with tweezers. "Excuse me, Baby Dyke?"
"I'm certain you understood as I was speaking basic English."
As she took a step in my direction, Tanya's ice blue eyes narrowed. "Y'all better watch y'alls mouth."
Again I flexed an aching hand. "Y'all better get out of my face before I take a notion to knock y'alls teeth into y'alls head. Lord knows there's enough room up there for them to fit as your brain is probably about the size of a walnut. Shell included of course."
"Oh, snap!" One of the minions spoke up. Eyes widening, she clamped a hand over her own mouth, however, the damage was already done. At least it took some of Tanya's heat off of me. For a second or two.
"What do y'all mean 'oh snap'?"
I kind of felt sorry for her as she nervously bounced on her feet, and thoughtfully bit down on her bottom lip. "Nothing, just...I'm on your side, Tanya, but that was...you know...a grea--goo--decent burn."
"A great, good, decent burn? I suppose it was worth being uninvited to my sleepover next Saturday, right?"
The curly-haired girl appeared utterly heartbroken. "Tanya, I'm so sor--"
"Save it for someone who gives a damn. Just shut your mouth." And shut her mouth the minion did. In fact, I was surprised not to hear the smack of her lips meeting. Turning back to me, the head witch in charge smirked. "Why did you slap B.B.?"
"Think I responded that it wasn't any of your business."
"Think I don't accept that answer."
Indicating the girls behind her with a nod of my head, I borrowed Tanya's smirk. "Unlike them, think I don't care what you're willing to accept."
Rolling her eyes, she looked at Brooke, managing to adopt a sympathetic expression as she observed the athlete's crimson left cheek. "B.B., why'd she do that?"
Hazel eyes shifted between the both of us. "Um...your guess is as good as mine..."
"You were walking by and she just slapped you?"
A sigh pushed from her lips, Brooke shook her head while my nausea returned with a vengeance. "I spotted her, and um...selected to come over and apologize if there were any hurt feelings this morning. Suppose she didn't want to hear it."
The cheerleader raised a curious brow. "That's it? Apologizing got you slapped?"
Brooke swallowed loud enough to be heard as her eyes again shifted. Except that time she included the minions and others standing nearby listening in (or trying to) on our conversation. Finally focusing on Tanya, the moment she opened her mouth to speak I wished that the parking lot's hot black ground would swallow me whole. "You recall that we just went to the park?"
Tanya faintly grinned. "The charity friendship."
"Yeah, she--" Brooke glanced toward me. "She...later after her friends left, Cooper made a move on me. Told her I wasn't like that, and thought I had it cleared up until a few minutes ago when she offered to give me a ride home...and then ride me once we arrived, if you know what I mean. So I told her where she could go with that twisted gay crap, and made to push her away when she slapped me."
"You mean like this?" Before I had a chance to react, Tanya shoved me in the chest so hard that I stumbled backward, within a second sprawled on the very ground I yearned to consume me.
"Tanya! Leave her-- let's just go." Hurrying between us, Brooke dared to gaze down at me with concern. I didn't buy it for a moment.
"Hold on, B.B." Gently pushing Brooke out of the way, the cheerleader stood over me. Thankfully, she chose to wear panties that day. "Y'all better keep your hands off Brooke, Baby Dyke. Whatever your perverted ass is sellin', she ain't buyin', ya hear?"
I could have stood up for myself. I could have blasted Brooke, tattling that she actually made the first move, and that we just had sex on Sunday night on and off into early Monday morning. I could have told that she'd slept with three other girls, and was in the closet. It was on the tip of my tongue...but then I decided why bother? Chances are they wouldn't believe me anyway, and as irate as I was with her, I wouldn't out Brooke. Whether that was because romantic feelings remained for her or I just wanted to be the bigger person I wasn't certain.
Standing up, I dusted my hands on the seat of my pants. Although I replied to the cheerleader, I stared toward Brooke, who had a difficult time meeting my eyes. "I hear you loud, proud, and clear, Tanya. Now I'm going home." Keys in hand, I beeped my car, relieved when the obnoxious blonde didn't utter another word.
I managed to merge onto the street before the tears escaped.
It was Friday night, but I opted to stay home despite my friends practically begging me to go out with them. Let's paint the town red they said, but all I wanted to do was sulk in my room and be blue. Lying upon my bed, I read a book for English class. I had just turned to the fourth chapter when I heard something hitting my window.
Brow furrowed, I placed the paperback on the bed, and rose, hurrying toward the window. I groaned when I noticed the figure below standing in the yard. Though it was dark, the moonlight offered enough illumination. Window unlocked, I slid it upward, poked my head out, and rested my arms on its sill while asking her what she was doing there.
She dropped what I now suspected were pebbles, and shoved her hands into her pants pockets. "I need to speak with you. Can I come up?"
"Have you taken a narcotic lately, Brooke?"
"No. Why?"
"Because you must be high off your ass if you think I'm allowing you into my house."
"Coop, please--"
"I thought I informed you not to call me that?"
"Okay. Cooper, please let me explain."
"What's there to explain? You're a cowardly bitch." Pain plainly written across her face, I had to avert my eyes. "I can't comprehend what there is to say. You got what you wanted, and then you tossed me out like yesterday's garbage. On top of that, you allowed your friends to treat me like shit, and Tanya especially has been eyeing me all week as if I did something wrong." I paused, rubbing the heel of my hand in the space between my eyes. "Just go away, Brooke."
"I can't."
"Why?"
"Because I love y--"
"Don't!" Straightening, I banged the back of my head on the window. Ignoring the dull pain, I sprinted from the room barefoot, and merely dressed in pants pajama bottoms and a tank top. The only one currently home, I managed to make it to the first floor, through the living room, and out of the front door without anyone commenting.
Rounding the corner, I opened the gate leading to the backyard where I found Brooke leaning against a tree while staring up at my window. She must have heard my approach, as a moment later, she turned toward me. Pushing away from the tree, she quickly ate up the distance separating us. When she was close enough to touch, I spotted the tears dampening her cheeks. Telling myself that I wasn't affected by them, I sighed, running a hand through my hair.
"Brooke, please stop with the tears, and don't you dare tell me that you love me. If you loved me, you wouldn't have treated me like I had the plague the moment we returned to school. I'm the one who should be crying. I gave you my virginity only to be fucking screwed over. Tanya is an ass, but you stabbed me in the back, and my heart, and I hate you for it."
Quickly shaking her head, Brooke reached for me only to have her hand slapped away. "Cooper, please don't say you hate me. You don't have to love me back, but don't say you hate me."
I folded my arms across the ribbed fabric of my tank top. "Too late. I already did, and I'll say it again. I...hate...you." Even swifter than Tanya, she pounced on me, and within seconds I lay on the grass looking up at the stars with a sobbing athlete straddling my stomach. Although I writhed for freedom, Brooke was strong enough to pin my hands above my head. Leaning over me, I felt her tears striking my face.
Trying to buck her off, yet unable to, I groaned my frustration. "Brooke, let me up."
"I love you, Cooper. I didn't know I was capable of loving anyone until you, and I'm sorry. I know I'm a coward, but please...I need you."
Blinking away tears, I strained against the hands wrapped around my wrists. "What? How? In private? I'm not gonna be your hidden girl. You want to be on the down low? Then you do it with someone else. I deserve better than that. I deserve better than you."
Wordlessly staring at me, Brooke slowly releasing my wrists. A loud breath expelled, she stood up and offered a hand, which I refused to take. By the time I was on my feet, she turned me toward her, lips pressed to mine before I could refuse them as well. The kiss brief yet as tender as I remembered, she rested her forehead against mine.
"You're right. You do."
As she walked away, I watched her retreating back. Once she left, I collapsed onto the ground, feet planted on the grass, and arms around my legs, my tears mixing with the few Brooke left on my face.
Those were the last words she said to me until the day we graduated. I hope you have a blessed and happy life, Cooper.
"Hey, Brooke?"
She waited until she'd drained most of the brandy before responding. "Yes, Cooper?"
"Is there a particular reason you're standing so close to the edge of a roof? Kind of dangerous don't you think?" I wished that I had brought my cell phone so that I could call someone such as an ambulance for backup. Unfortunately, it was tucked inside my suitcase in the hotel room.
"Oh, that's an easy question," she matter-of-factly stated. "I was planning to jump."