A/N: So this is the final chapter for the story. There will be a short epilogue to help bridge the time skip between this book and book 2. I'm going to try to have the epilogue up shortly and then I will Post the first chapter for book two with the epilogue. It's called Help Me Find My Way. I just wanted to thank all of you who have stuck with me through this story and say thank you for getting this over 4000 reads. I really appreciate all of you who read, vote, and/or comment. I also included the external link to a photobucket album of collages I did for the flower arrangements for anyone who is interested in seeing it.
I sat in front of the makeshift vanity smoothing my mother's wedding gown, my gown, now. The light filtering through the tent told me it was still bright and sunny outside. The temperature was warm but luckily the dress wasn't smothering me in this mid July California heat. It was going to be a beautiful day for the ceremony. The day that would change my life and my twins lives. The day that I was going to marry the man who loved me. The man I was starting to fall in love with. I stared at the woman in the mirror. She stared back at me with solemn brown eyes, her complexion clear and paler than normal lacking her usual summer tan while her hair still had small glints of natural gold highlights and red low lights threaded through the brown curls piled neatly a top her head and secured in place with a diamond headband wrapped with pink vanda orchids.
I was drawn out of my reverie when Jason entered my tent. I smiled at him as he approached me nervously. He took a seat in the chair next to mine and nervously ran his fingers along an envelope.
"What's that?" I asked curiously.
"It's something I'm not sure I should give to you, but I made a promise a long time ago that I would."
"Well then why wouldn't you do it?"
"Because...I don't want to upset you."
"Why would it upset me?"
"It's a letter that Jimmy wrote you the night he proposed to you. He made me promise to give it to you on the day of your wedding. I had forgotten about it until I was going through my desk the other day."
"I want to read it."
He grimaced. "Kathy...."
"Jason, you should keep your promise especially to a friend who's no longer with us."
"Ok but just so you know, Matt said he is going to kill anyone who upsets you today so if this makes you cry and he finds out I gave it to you...well I'll be dead when he finds out."
My smile turns into a chuckle. "Jason, I won't let Matt hurt you I promise."
He sighed and handed over the envelope.
I opened it and began to read.
My dearest love, you've made me the happiest man alive by agreeing to become my wife today. If I died today I know that I would die a happy man with my only regret being that I was leaving you behind. I love you so much and I can't wait to get started on our life together just like we've always talked about. I want it all even the little white picket fence but instead of just 2.5 kids I want a whole pack of them. Besides how would we decide which half of the kid we want? Left, right, bottom or top? I know that right now touring makes that seem impossible but I promise you that I love you and that comes first no matter what. I also want you to know that I will always be faithful. As soon as you claimed my heart all other women ceased to exist for me. I know that the day you read this is going to be another day of happiness, maybe surpassing even today's happiness because then it will be official. You will be my wife and we will be well on our way to building our future together. I can't wait to see you at the end of the isle my love, my bride.
Yours Forever,
Jimmy
I had to wipe a tear as I laughed at how ridiculously large he had scribble his signature but I also had to smile at the sweetness of what he had done. I looked up into Jason's anxious eyes.
"Thank you Jason. You will never know how much this means to me."
He nodded to me hesitantly as Val bustled in. "Alright we have ten minutes until it's show time so out, out, out," she shooed Jason out of the tent.
"Garter?"
"Check," I smiled at her.
"Bouquet?"
"Check. Ring?"
"Check," She smiled at me as she handed me Matt's ring.
I held it in my hand a moment thinking. Wedding dresses don't come with pockets and I was afraid that just holding it in my hand I might lose it walking down the isle. It wasn't carpeted so imagine trying to find a ring in the grass with flower petals littering it. I nearly giggled.
"What's so funny?" Val asked.
"The image of all of our guests on their hands and knees searching through the grass for Matt's ring."
"Yeah...I guess maybe we should have had her lightly stitch on a pocket or something that would fade into the material," Val said frowning. Just as I had predicted to Barbara none of the family had been upset with our decision to not have a traditional wedding party. I think they understood how hard it was for us already to not have Jimmy here.
I turned and looked at my brightly colored bouquet thinking about Jimmy and his letter. I wanted to make him happy and I wanted to make Matt happy. Matt had been there for me for so long and he loved me. He had been a great father to the twins over the last six weeks and I just couldn't imagine raising them without him anymore. I couldn't imagine my life without him anymore but I couldn't imagine letting Jimmy go either. I sighed and touched the bouquet.
"Hey Val what if I just put it in this mini mango cali lilly?"
"That could work. It's at the top so it shouldn't roll out and the flower is deep so it should fall out of the petals either."
"Well we are out of time so let's go," I said carefully nestling the ring in the flower.
She led me out of the tent before hurrying to take her seat. I nodded to Kenna and she began to slowly walk down the isle scattering a mixture of purple lisianthus petals and orange tulip petals as Papa Gates played the wedding march on his guitar. I smiled a little at the site of our family and friends all gathered on wooden benches with big ceramic white vases lining the isles holding orange tulips, pink vanda orchids, green cymbidium, and purple lisianthus. My eyes wandered down the isle to Papa Gates off to the side of Matt and a little behind so he would still be able to see the actual ceremony, to Matt who stood in front of the church leader, who's back was to the lake. The very lake that Jimmy had chased the duck around. A small smile graced my lips at the memory. I turned my attention back to the isle and as Kenna reached the end of her journey I took the arm Joe offered me and we began our walk down the isle.
"You know I wanted to say thank you for letting me do this. I had always hoped this would be my own son's wedding day but Matt is a good man and he loves you and the twins very deeply."
"I know. I"m very lucky to have a man like him in my life. Especially after already having found the love of my life."
"Jimmy will always be in your heart and now Matt will too. I'm sure you two are going to have a great life together. Barbara and I are looking forward to many more grandchildren."
I blushed a bit as we stopped and Joe kissed my cheek before handing me over to Matt, who took my free hand in his as we turned to the pastor.
"Dearly beloved we are gathered here today..."
I looked to Matt's right and I saw Jimmy smiling at me reassuringly. I blinked a bit as I saw Matt glance to his right as well. His eyes landed on me looking slightly confused but more relaxed. I smiled at him and watched Jimmy's smile grow larger out of the corner of my eye.
The ceremony flew by and before I knew it I we had exchanged rings and it was time for the groom to kiss the bride. I looked deep into Matt's eyes as he slowly lowered his head to mine.
"I love you Matt," I whispered our lips just a breath apart and I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him in closer as our lips met.
All around us our family and friends sent up cheers. We broke apart to thank everyone for coming. After about twenty minutes everyone started to find their way to the cars and to Brian's house where he and Chelle were hosting the private reception. I found myself wondering down to the lake. I stopped and stared out at the water.
"It was a beautiful ceremony Katie."
I turned to see Jimmy standing beside me.
"Jimmy...you aren't angry about this?"
"No, I had to leave you but you're still here Katie. You still have so much love to give and so much life to live. You need to be happy and Matt makes you happy. He's great with the twins too."
"You've been watching?"
"Always. I'll always watch over all of you. Although...Johnny does take up a bit more of my time. Zacky too come to think of it."
"So you aren't always with me?"
"I'm always with you. I just check up on them when they are getting into serious mischief."
"Then why..."
"I couldn't answer you Katie. You had to make this decision on your own. I wasn't allowed to influence you either way." He smiled at me, "And yes I'm sure I'm not mad at you or Matt."
"I wanted to say thank you for your letter."
He nodded. "I wasn't sure about Jason giving the letter to you but I was to curious to see if you would read it before the wedding to prevent him from giving it to you."
"I will always cherish it Jimmy."
"Just as I will always treasure your love, but our time is over. It's your and Matt's time now."
"Thank you Jimmy." I whispered tears shimmering in my eyes.
I turned as I heard footsteps approaching. I saw Matt coming and gave him a shaky smile I turned around but Jimmy was already gone.
"Hey not going to pull an Ophelia on me are you?"
"No," I smiled at him. "I was just thinking about Jimmy and being here today."
"I know. I'm glad you suggested here. It felt like Jimmy was here with us. I know it probably sounds crazy but I swear during the ceremony it was like he was standing there with me."
My fingers linked with Matt's.
"It's not crazy Matt. I could feel him too."
"I think he was happy for us. I mean...."
"Me too Matt. I know he was happy for us. We should probably go to the reception I guess."
I felt Matt tug me closer to him and I allowed myself to be pulled into his embrace as I rested my head against his chest.
"I'm fine sharing your heart with him Kathy. I know he will always be there. Just know that I love you and the twins with all of my heart and I will do everything I can to make all three of you happy."
I raised my head and placed a kiss on Matt's lips. He responded deepening the kiss as I wrapped my arms around his neck. After a few minutes he pulled far enough away that we could catch our breath and speak softly.
"Well I suppose we are more than fashionably late for our own reception."
I smiled at him. "It will just give them something to gossip about the rest of the day."
He chuckled and we turned hand in hand to walk back to our car.