Keen eyes watch him enter the bedroom. It was late at night, the air was still and the deep thick silence blanketed my ears.
I was waiting for him to come to me, unable to relax until I could see him... feel him. My wolf whined in my head for him. It's an uncomfortable feeling to want to be close to him and it's slightly disturbing.
There is an inability to take my eyes off him, appraising him up and down, my back against the headboard, hands folded calmly in my lap.
He stands in front of me, his scent starting to turn, changing into a deep, meaty flavor, full of the testosterone raging through his veins, filling him out on a physical level. The Moon's pull prepares his body for the final phase in our heat cycle, making him very alluring to all my senses, especially sight and smell.
Inhaling him into my lungs, bringing his pheromones deep into me. It's on a primal level. Yet, my body's throbbing with emotions I'm not used to feeling for him.
I watch as his fingers brush the stray hairs away from my face. Without saying a word, he kisses me quickly. I don't pull away from him. In fact, I'm trying to push my lips harder against his before he pulls away.
"You're still up?" He's surprised that he hasn't found me asleep.
"I couldn't sleep." I'm uncomfortable again with these new feelings swarming around my head.
Somehow, someway, he managed to put a deep crack in the armor I'm wearing for self-preservation. Little by little, he's been peeling it off me, piece by piece, leaving me feeling extremely... vulnerable.
I eye the male before me. "You are becoming my weakness." I shake my head with these terrifying feeling he's giving me.
He smiles at my words. "I thought the same thing, too."
I lift my eyebrow up to him questioning. "But you don't think that anymore?" My heart starts beating a little faster in my chest, doubts swarming, hissing their insecurities at me.
His fingers lift my chin upwards. "I'm not sure when it happened..." He places a quick comforting kiss on my lips, one that I needed. Pulling back, he smiles again at me, eyes blazing with happiness. "I realize you're becoming my greatest strength."
As I place a gentle kiss against his claim, hot electric tingles travel throughout my body, settling deep between my parted legs. Moaning at the strong ache inside, I wrap my arms around his strong back, pulling him close to me.
I pull my head away from him, the honey talk affecting me to my core. His eyes penetrate my soul. He's being sticky sweet, but deep down, he's still the wild man from the north. The Alpha who's will I bend to, my tail forever curled between my legs in submission towards him.
He's a very dangerous male who will easily turn against me with the slightest infraction towards him. As long as I tow the line, I will have his smoothness. One toe out of line and I will meet his hardness.
He growls deep, his chest vibrating the way my wolf likes it... dominating.
Pulling me down on the bed, he presses himself against me, nipping and placing little kisses against my neck, feeding into my growing compulsions. He knows how hard it is to fight against them.
Forcefully, he kisses my lips, biting my lower lip, pulling it away from me. His tongue enters my mouth and I immediately slide mine against it. We groans out in bliss.
He presses his mouth harder against mine, controlling every aspect of the kiss, maintaining his natural dominance. I stand no chance against this, my hormones fully surging in my blood as he brings waves of desire crashing against my resolve.
Gasping at all the sensations floating around, feeling so out of control.
Rubbing my hands underneath his shirt, I feel his warm, smooth skin, trace the contours of his muscles, try to press him into my bones.
He pulls back from me, looking me in the eyes. "We should stop."
He's right. I don't want to, but he's right. My hormones try to win out over my reason. I don't want a pup yet. The closer we get to the final stages of my heat, the more likely we could create a Future inside my building up Nest.
"Why don't you want to?" I'm curious why he doesn't want to go any further than what we've already done.
He looks at me. "Oh, I want to, trust me, I'm going to be inside you very soon." Another press of his body against me. His body shudders from the restraint he's trying to manage internally.
Whimpering to him, "Please." I'm begging him, damp with excitement, the bond between us sparking with electric fire.
He starts to laugh. "Didn't I tell you there would be a day when you would beg for my touch?"
He did it on purpose, to calm the fire between us. It works. My pull towards him is gone and I push him off me. He doesn't budge, showing me his strength. He won't move until he's ready to move.
"Soon, my bear killer." He's blocking his thoughts from me, keeping why he doesn't want to mate me to himself. "Out of there, Meela." He says it sternly which makes me flinch away.
"It's not fair. You can be in my mind, but I can't be in yours?" I cross my arms over my chest, my jaw firmly clenched in unhappiness.
"It's not a fun feeling, is it?" His eyebrow arches up, head tilted, waiting for a reply.
I just huff out, turning my back to him and closing my eyes.
Feeling him climbing into bed, pulling the covers over us, spooning my body into his. Wrapping his powerful arm around me, his lips nuzzle against my neck.
"I want it to mean something to you, not just your hormones going crazy. I want there to be more between us."
He doesn't say anything else as he listens to the effects his words play out in my mind.
Ebbing and flowing thoughts wash back and forth in my mind. I drift off to sleep as the gentle waves of his words lull me to sleep.
When I wake up in the morning, he's gone. I rub my hand over his spot and groan into the pillow. Memories of last night flood into my brain and I close my eyes, trying to comprehend how it all happened.
I've been fully accepted by the pack. Not only that, but I've been accepted by them all as their Luna. I'm a real Luna. Even I can't believe this. I'm a full fledged Luna. My mother would be so proud of me. She raised me to be a Luna. Somehow she knew.
With every word, every problem, every situation, she would whisper in my ear, teaching me, grooming me. At the time, I would glare at her as juveniles do, whine out to her, stomp away, not realizing until now what she was actually trying to do. I cry just thinking of her love for me, and her selflessness, her constant patience with me, and I feel shame wash over me because of it.
I start to cry in my pillow, just thinking of her, the voice that I miss so much, the love I miss from her. My throat's constricting with a burning pain of memories. If only I could have one more minute with her.
I softly inhale the scent on his pillow, letting it calm me. How is this happening?
The destruction that is my life is slowly rebuilding like a town does after a major storm. Slowly, gradually, little by little with his encouragement, his actions... his words. I've been able to put some pieces back together. It feels... good.
I can hear him arguing with someone on the phone, his voice rising and falling, grunting and growling at the offender on the other end of the line.
Walking into the bedroom, he hands me his phone. "It's your brother." He looks ruffled... annoyed.
"Hello," I answer cautiously.
"Meela, why haven't you called me? I've been calling you every day, leaving messages." His voice sounds panicked, desperate.
"I broke my phone. Sorry, I didn't know you were calling." I give the northerner a sideways look. He can't meet my eyes as he puts his head down on my thigh, his ear turned to my conversation.
Absently, my fingers start to play with his hair, but I stop when I realize what I'm doing. It felt so normal, just like breathing. So I decide to continue playing with the soft brown hair between my fingers, making the northerner smile.
"Meela, I've heard things. Do you want to know what I've been hearing?" He's so mad, I really can hear him shaking through the phone, ready to take his fighting form.
"What have you been hearing?" I'm not guessing just in case it's wrong and he gets even angrier.
"Oh, I don't know... Maybe that you almost died in a bear attack!" He screams the last part out. "I heard all about it, how you took the point. Do you not care about your life? Is that how bad it is for you there, that you could try and throw your life away without thought of yourself? Or me?" His voice is too choked up to continue.
"It wasn't like that. The bear attacked us, one of our females couldn't move, it was the last resort, we had to fight." I'm imploring him to see it my way.
"But you took the point. Why? You know what happens to the point if it goes wrong."
"It didn't go wrong. You taught me well, and everything you taught me I remembered. If it wasn't for you, things could have turned out differently."
Both of us remember the long hours of training, him making me and the rest of the juveniles practice over and over again how to defend against the bear, how to take it down. I can still see his eyes boring into mine, trying to signal how important it is to get absolutely right.
Him screaming that I'm doing it all wrong, pinching my ears when it was the wrong move, letting me know I just died in the fight. He would always pretend to be the bear, my ears always beaten by him, until the days came that he was satisfied with my attack against him, we'd move onto something else.
"It didn't go wrong." I huff out to him trying to hide how wrong it could of went.
I hear a sigh from him on the other side, "you are all I have left, come back for a visit, I just need to see you, make sure you're alright."
That earns a low growl from the Northerner as I press my hand against his chest, "you are not leaving," he states it like I would listen to him.
My brother gives his own threatening growl in return, "you don't have to listen to him anymore, he has nothing to keep you there with him."
The Northerner wraps his arms around my waist nuzzling himself more into me, not saying a word. He's letting the bond strum heavy through us with his need for me. I just pull his head closer into me, relaxing him.
"He's marked me," I say it low...waiting.
"For the moons sake Meela, why?"
"It was the right choice to make, he's my mate...and" I take a breath, "I wanted him too."
The Northerner pulls my body underneath his, laying on top of me, his lips against my neck. I try to push him away....he won't let me.
He's just holding himself against me, encompassing me with his body. I try not to gasp as all my nerve ending pulse pleasurably with the closeness of him.
"I'll come for a visit after the full moon" I'm trying to ignore the Northerner but he's making it impossible.
"Why after the full moon?" He questions out.
"I'm going through my heat," it's embracing to talk about this with my brother.
"Comeback now, before you do something stupid, that you'll regret for the rest of your life. You can't have a pup with that..."
The Northerner takes the phone out of my hand, rolling off me. "I'm only tolerating you because your Meela's brother," he's trying really hard to control himself, sitting at the edge of the bed, back facing me.
I can hear my brother's voice booming out the phone, "I'm coming for her"
The Northerner gives my brother a sarcastic laugh, "don't...it won't turn out well for you."
Pulling the phone out of his hand running into the bathroom and locking the door.
"He's my mate." I try using a forceful voice but it comes out more of a whine.
"Meela, I just want what's best for you, I just don't think he's it," his voice goes quiet.
"It's ok, trust me...ok....I'm ok...I want to stay here, with my pack, don't worry I won't be having pups with him..yet." I hear on the other side of the phone an intake of breath, my words were truthful, he understands this. The Northern growls at that.
"I don't like him."
"I know, I don't either but he's growing on me." Nothing but silence is heard on the other side of the door.
"I promise to visit you very soon, I promise...ok." Now all I hear is growling on the other side, "open the door Meela." His fist pounds against the door threatening to break it down.
" I love you Bryon but I have to go, I promise I'll call you after the full moon, try and understand ok...just try."
"I don't like it, I don't like him...but I love you, so come when you can."
"I love you, I'll see you soon alright." Turning off the phone opening the door only to come face to face with his black eyes glaring into mine.
I try to step back, away from him, but strong fingers bring me into his chest, "you're not leaving me." He's burning with a madness that's overpowering him.
I place my hand on his chest trying to push away from him. That only earns me a growl, he overpowers me, wrapping his arms around my frame tightly. His fingers digging into my hips, "you're not leaving."
It's my turn to watch his doubts hiss snake like around him, striking him every now and then with harsh thoughts of me never returning.
His new found strength will leave him...he's feeling.....vulnerable.
"I'll come back, you don't need to worry, I'll come back."
"I'll go with you then, after the full moon, well go together...how does that sound?" He says it with desperation.
He might be the strong male but somehow I can bring this king to his knee's...he just doesn't realize it yet.
Untangle myself from him, "why didn't you tell me my brother was calling? He's all I have left."
"You have me now," he states that fact quickly.
"You can't keep me from him, he's my brother." I'm annoyed with him now, my body bristling slightly.
"Don't do that again." Looking at him in the eye waiting for an answer.
Nodding his head in agreement but it looks begrudgingly.
"When were you going to tell me that you don't want pups from me?" Now it's my turn to be on the defensive.
My throats becoming dryer, "I was going to tell you."
"When...when I was buried deep inside you?" He gives me a bitter laugh.
"No, I just..I was going to tell you, I just don't think we're ready for a pup just yet." I can't meet the look of hurt in his eyes.
"That's your final decision, I get no say in this Meela?"
"I'm so sorry but I just can't...not yet, maybe one day."
He brings my body close to him, his fingers brush along my hips, "I'm sorry but I can't, I'm going to try to put as many pups into you as I can, I want your belly swollen with them....I've waited too long."
All our progress we've made seems to fizzle away as he tries to show his dominance over me.
"We'll see Northern."
"We'll see Meela," he's so upset I think he might shift at any moment.
Instead, he brushes past me coldly, out of the bedroom and into the day. I feel him shifting into his fur form, running into the forest, where he can loose himself to his Wild.