"You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not.” ~ Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper
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2012 © All rights reserved
A ЂώζЅŧ of Fate ♪ Thirty-seven
I chose to sit in the economy class with the rest this time. Perhaps I was behaving in an unreasonable manner but I still had yet to recover my old self.
Zayn and I were back to talking terms but it seemed that I had ignited a distance between us. He did not press further but gave me the space that I needed.
We arrived in Manila, Philippines late afternoon and I could feel myself sweating as soon as I stepped off the plane.
Thirty two degrees celcius.
And it did not helped when the fans were so enthusiastic.
Frankly speaking, I was surprised that the crowd at the airport was nothing less compared to those in Australia and America. I had heard of the varieties of music Asians listened to. It was amazing that One Direction could gather such a size of fans.
And what was so impressive was, these girls were actually singing. They were singing the trademark 'What's Makes You Beautiful'. But of course, all of it turned into senseless screams upon seeing the boys.
We never spent too much lingering at airports. The boys were often told to refrain from shaking hands, autographs or taking pictures. Just a wave and a smile and we had to be off. The security at airports did not take highly of such disturbances.All the airports probably hated us.
After checking in and a quick washing up, we were rushed off to the arena. Zayn had officially went back to bunk with the boys. And to admit it frankly, I really missed him very much. But I guess, it was my pride that stopped me from going further.
I actually got a bad thrashing from mom when she saw the picture. Since I had 'confessed' that I was the girl, mom had ultimately thought the same. She was utterly disgraced. It took me at least three phone calls before I could pacify her.
We set up our instruments as per routine. However, today, the video team was going to film a backstage tour of the band, and that included interviewing the various band members. Niall was the official host of this video. So when he came around, I was trying to hide but he caught me in the end.
"This is our famous drummer - Jo," he smiled as he introduced me. "Say hi, Jo."
"Hi," I chuckled.
"Jo's the youngest member in the entire crew."
I smiled.
That was all actually. Less than thirty seconds on screen. I mused.
We had all barely recovered our battered breaths when the concert went on full steam ahead.This was probably one of the worst performance I did, for I must had made more than ten mistakes.
I sighed with relief when the band came to our last song. It was time to start packing up.
We had been instructed beforehand that the boys would be doing a special item for the last and everyone was waiting in anticipation what the boys were going to do. Hope it was not grenade, I thought to myself.
"Hello Philippines!" Harry yelled out.
Such a typical greeting, I rolled my eyes and yawned.
"I'm really really surprised by the fans here," he continued. "Isn't it, guys?"
"Yeah!" Louis piped. "They are absolutely darlings!"
A loud cheering went round.
"That is why we have this final special item," Liam mused.
"Okay Philippines," Niall said. "Zayn needs our help."
I raised an eyebrow. What were they up to again this time?
They handed the microphone to Zayn.
"Hello Philippines," he said. "This last song is a very special song. I understand it comes from a Korean hit drama here in Philippines. And it happened to be a song sang by Jang Guen Suk."
He continued, "Recently, many things had happened and I've hurt the girl that I love badly. She has been too wonderful to me. I just want to tell her I'm really sorry to have hurt her. I hadn't mean to."
Throughout his entire speech, he kept his back to me.
"If she chooses to leave, I would understand. But I want her to know that I really love her very much and she will always occupy a special place in my heart. This next song is specially for her."
His tone was low and sad. The audience must have sense it too for they kept very quiet. Then suddenly, his tone changed, "This special song is also for all of you!"
(Sang in Korean)
when I let you go one step further,
my eyes overflowed with tears
when you walk one step further,
more tears are falling
as move away to a place
where I can't reach you,
even if I reach out my hand
I can't reach you, I can only cry
what I should I do?
what should I do?
you're leaving
what I should I do?
what should I do?
you are leaving me
I love you,
I love you
I cry out to you
but you can't hear me because
I am only shouting in my heart
all day long I try to forget you,
but I think of you again
all day long I try to say goodbye,
but I think of you again
when you went to a place
where I can't hold you,
even if my hand reaches out to you
I can't see you, I can only cry
what I should I do?
what should I do?
you're leaving
what I should I do?
what should I do?
I LOVE YOU ONLY
I love you,
I love you
I cry out to you
but you can't hear me because
I am only shouting in my heart
I was shocked. He actually memorised the entire Korean lyrics. Just for me. And it was not any Korean song. It had to be this song. The male lead actor sang this very song to the girl he loved during his concert before she had to go away. He was begging her to let him see her for the last time for she had been avoiding him.
He could not have picked a more appropriate song. My heart tore at the sadness of his voice.
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“Are you serious?!” The boys exclaimed excitedly.
Colin and I looked at them in amusement when we entered the VIP lounge. Jenson had called us all in for a briefing.
“What’s up?” I asked cheerfully as I sat down next to Zayn but avoided making eye contact with him.
“Jenson says our next performance is to be a beach party,” Niall announced, emphasizing on the ‘beach’.
“Beach party?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Ho ho!” Louis exclaimed. “I love the beach!”
“Jo,” Harry teased. “Can you wear a bikini?”
I glared at him, “Fat chance! Besides, I don’t have one.”
“Zayn can wear his luminous bikini!” Niall shrieked and the boys yelled in laughter.
“Zayn has a bikini?!” My eyes widened in shock as I turned to look at him.
He shrugged.
Liam explained, “It’s not exactly a bikini. It’s a luminous swimsuit given by a fan. But it’s really sexy.” He laughed.
I rolled my eyes. That fan must be a sicko.
“Are you seriously going to wear that?” I asked him.
He looked at me tenderly, “I won’t if you don’t want me to.”
The boys made a gagging sound at the back.
I shrugged, “Up to you.”
“So Jenson,” Colin broke the fun and spoke up. “Spit the details.”
“Well,” Jenson smiled. “It’s just going to be a beach party. So we’ll be playing outdoors.”
“I’m not for playing outdoors,” Colin sighed. “The acoustic sucks.”
Jenson agreed, “True. And I always find that you guys tend to be softer. You need to project more. Especially you Harry.”
“He gets stage fright,” Niall chuckled and Harry shot him a deadly glare.
“But seriously,” Liam said. “Jenson and Colin are right. We always don’t sound good outdoors.”
“Argh,” Harry groaned. “The party would be too high for people to notice anyway.”
I rolled my eyes.
“It’ll be fun!” Louis piped and Niall went on with his cheering.
“I hope there are girls in bikinis,” Harry licked his lips in anticipation.
Zayn broke out in chuckles.
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Jenson managed to book us a private beach spot for the entire 1D’s crew. Everyone was hysterical. Even Max could be seen spotting a trunk and going swimming.
Zayn and I preferred to stay ashore. We found ourselves a nice hammock under a shady tree and there was actually a small little swing next to it.
Cebu Island was really a beautiful place – living up to its name. I had heard so many reviews about it from friends and classmates who had visited Philippines. Fine powdery white sand and a wide stretch of blue horizon. I could sit here whole day gazing at the sea. The breeze was warm but enough to be able to lull you to sleep under the swaying palm trees.
“Isn’t it just beautiful here…” I let out a sigh of content.
“Yes…” Zayn answered softly.
I found him looking at me much more often these days, as if he would lose sight of me if he looked away. I did not have to look at him to realise that. It was a feeling of being stared at constantly.
“How long did you take to learn that Korean song?” I asked with my eyes still fixed on the horizon.
“Three days.”
“Why?”
“Why I took three days or why I chose that song?”
“Why you chose that song.”
“Because I can’t any better song which could express what I’m feeling right now.”
His voice was so sad that I almost wanted to walk over to him and give him a hug.
I bit my lip.
“Are you still angry with me?”
I turned to look at him, then I wished I hadn’t.
“No, I’m not,” I said softly.
“What happened to us, Jo?”
I smiled sadly, “I don’t know.”
“Is the sight of me causing you so much hurt that you are refusing even to look at me?”
“Zayn…”
He made the move – by walking towards me. I turned away.
“Jo…” he was standing before me. “Please…”
“I’m sorry,” I shook my head. “It’s just that… I can’t get that image off my head…” My tears started to fall. All the emotions I had bottled up, now burst out without control.
“God…” he groaned before taking me into his arms. I buried my head in his deep solid chest as I sobbed uncontrollably. “I’m so sorry…”
I missed his touch so badly. I had forgotten how it felt to be held by him. At this moment, it felt like the right place to be. But why can’t I let go of my silly pride?
“Please don’t leave me…” he pleaded. “Please…”
I did not put my hands around him. I just left it dangling in a wimp lifeless. I felt all my energy and strength drained out from me as I cried.
“I’m so tired…” I said.
“I will never hurt you again,” he promised.
“It wasn’t your fault in the first place…”
“I will never touch a drop of liquor in my life again.”
I looked up at him and saw the fierce resolution in his eyes.
“Please believe me.”
I nodded before tasting his sweet lips on me again.
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“Philippines! Let’s PARTY!”
The beach crowd went wild as they jumped and swayed to the music. The turnout of the crowd was simply amazing. Every spot of the beach was occupied by a body and from where I was on stage, I thought they looked like a pack of sardines.
And to Harry’s joy, most of the girls did turned up in bikinis.
We were dressed in loose linen shirts and Bermudas. I guess it must be really rare for the boys to perform in such a manner but they absolutely loved it.
The entire atmosphere was so fun, unlike the strict and boring routine of the indoor concerts. Only one thing, the boys were instructed not to leave the stage at any point. The crowd was way too crazy for the security to keep in control and they might end up getting hurt.
Everybody was extremely happy that Zayn and I had finally made up and everybody was threatening to kill Zayn if he ever hurt my poor heart again. I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes.
It was our final night in Philippines. Probably our final beach night as well.
I was rather looking forward to our next stop. In fact, I had been looking forward to it since the start of the world tour.
We were finally going to Singapore.