"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens up your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.” ~ Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol.9: The Kindly Ones
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2012 © All rights reserved
A ЂώζЅŧ of Fate ♪ Thirty-six
With my phone still in my hand, I walked over to grab my Ipad. I needed to verify the authenticity of the picture. After all, Val got it out of Twitter. It could be some prankster out having fun.
I logged on to the web entertainment news. The picture was all over the news. There were comments like, 'Zayn's fling?','Zayn's got a new girlfriend?', 'Had Zayn broke off with Jo Andrews?' and there was even one which commented that the girl in the picture might even be me.
Too many distortions. I had to clarify it.
I turned and took a look at Zayn's sleeping form. It hurt too much now to look at him. I was glad he was still sleeping. I did not want to talk to him at this moment.
I stepped out of my room and headed for the VIP lounge. The person I was looking for was there. How lucky could I get.
I walked towards him.
"Did you know about this?" I handed him my phone showing the picture which
Val had sent me.
He gasped and his face turned white.
"Did you know about this?" I asked again, quietly.
"Where did you get this picture?"
"Liam," I said, trying to keep calm. "I had asked you a question."
"I don't know how it happened..." He muttered.
"So, it is true..."
"Where did you get the picture?"
"It was all over the web. Do you think you could keep it from me?"
"Jo," he said. "They were all drunk. They didn't know what they were doing.
I doubt he would remember it when he wakes up."
"Did he sleep with her?" I feared the answer but I needed to know.
"Of course not!" Liam exclaimed. "I pulled him off her as soon as I saw
them."
"Who's the girl?"
"I have no idea. I think it's some random model we met at the pub. She was
also dead drunk."
I was surprised I managed to keep my cool.
"Jo," Liam came over to me for I was still standing there.
"Please," he pleaded. "He didn't know what he was doing. He was drunk."
"He may be drunk," I said. "But that doesn't mean he can go around grabbing
other women's breasts! And who knows one day he might end up in bed with
them!"
"Jo..."
I stepped backwards.
"Where are you going?"
"I want to be alone."
"Jo..."
"Just leave me alone."
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I had no one to turn to. Suddenly, I did not want anybody at all. Not even
Colin. I knew Zayn was drunk and there were so many things one would do
when he got drunk. But I still could not bring myself to forgive him. The
image of him kissing another girl was beyond what I could handle, not to
say his other action.
I needed a walk.
Whenever I felt low, I loved to gorge myself on food. Food always made me
feel better afterwards. And of course, I would find myself gaining a few
more kilos. But who cares.
The elevator opened to the lobby level and I stepped out via the revolving
door. If I had a little more attention to my surroundings, I would have
turn back. But since I was so preoccupied, I only noticed it when I stepped
out of the hotel.
Cameras started flashing non-stop and a group of reporters rushed forward
to me holding their microphones, with their cameramen trailing behind.
"Did you broke up with Zayn Malik?"
"Was the girl in the picture you?"
"Were you there at the pub?"
"Do you know the girl?"
"Where's Zayn Malik?"
A whole load of questions were thrown at me and the microphones shoved at
me. The overwhelming crowd took me by surprise and I was too stunned even
to utter a word. I had never deal with such things before. At that instant,
I hated him. I hated him for putting me through this nonsense.
In my midst of confusion, I felt an arm wrapped itself around me and he
spoke in an authoritative voice.
"Whoa, you guys are scaring the poor soul," he joked. "I think it's better
you stay indoor today." I heard him whispered into my ear.
I nodded and followed as he led me back into the hotel.
Until I was away from the crowd, I took a look at who had rescued me. By
now, the hotel security had managed to block off the media.
"Brick..."
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"Here, take this," Brick offered me a small glass of whisky.
I looked up at him.
"It helps to calm the nerves," he explained. "But sip it slowly."
I heeded his advice. The liquid flowed down my throat and filled me with
warmth.
He had brought me back to his room.
"Thanks Brick," I said, and placed the glass on the table.
He peered out from the curtains outwards. "You won't be able to get through
those people. Where are you going anyway?"
I shrugged, "I don't know. I just wanted to get away."
He sat down on the chair across me and took a mouthful out of his whisky
bottle.
"You knew...?"
He nodded, "Saw it in the news."
I sighed.
"Have you talked to him yet?"
I shook my head, "He's still in bed."
"It might be a misunderstanding."
"I don't know...I can't think straight anymore."
"That's what happen to young vibrant teenagers," he chuckled.
I raised an eyebrow.
"Problem comes when you are famous. Youngsters have problem dealing with
fame. They don't know how to watch their backs."
I looked at him.
"People are constantly out on a lookout for things, be it good or bad."
He continued, "That's what happened to me too. But of course, I was never
famous to begin with."
"What happened?"
"My fiancee caught me in bed with another girl."
I gasped.
"I was dead drunk. When I woke up, the deed was already done."
"Oh gosh..."
"I lost her. She married my best friend."
"Didn't you tried to explain things to her?"
"She disappeared the very same day. She didn't let me know about her
pregnancy. I only saw her when she came back for her grandfather's funeral.
The kid was already six."
"Oh my god..." I gasped.
"it's the biggest mistake I ever committed in my entire life."
My heart went out to him. But more to the girl.
"I can understand how she must have felt."
"But," he said. "Give him a chance to explain at least. Then decide what
you want to do. Don't disappear on him. It will kill him. Zayn's a good
guy. Playful sometimes but he's still young. Both of you are still young."
He continued, "You are a sensible kid. I'm sure you'll know what is the
right thing."
He patted my head.
"Can I stay for awhile more?"
"Stay as long as you like."
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"Jo..."
"Colin?"
"You okay?" He took me into a hug.
I shrugged, "I'll survive. When did you get back? And how did you know I'm
here?"
"Brick told everybody. We were all worried sick. Especially Zayn," he added
quietly.
I looked away, "I'm not ready to talk to him yet."
"We know," he said. "That's why he's not here."
Brick had went off to grab some dinner for me. He was a nice guy and I
really felt sorry for him. But given the same situation, I probably would
have done the same as the girl.
"What do you think I should do?" I asked Colin.
"Do you still want to give yourselves a chance?"
"Huh?"
"From what I see, it was a pure act of stupidity. He was too drunk to
realise what he had done and he's probably filled with remorse."
"But how can I make sure he won't do it again... I simply don't have the
confidence..."
"I cannot answer that on his behalf. You should talk to him."
I let out a sigh. Why did my first relationship had to be this complicated?
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Zayn went back to sleep with the guys for the night, giving me my privacy
for once.
It felt lonely without him. The bed felt humongous without him.
Colin was at my door the next morning, waiting for me. We were going for
our usual rehearsal then concert in the evening.
"Slept well?"
I smiled and nodded.
"I told the boys to go ahead."
I nodded again.
"This unwanted publicity is causing quite a hassle and Jenson is pretty
upset about it. Even Simon Cowell had called."
"Simon Cowell?"
"Yeah. The boss of the record company..."
"I know," I said. "But why?"
"Well, Zayn has totally screwed up," he shrugged.
"Actually..."
"What?"
I shrugged and shook my head.
"It's creating a bad image on Zayn. Now the whole world thinks he's a super
big bad boy who cheats on his girlfriend."
I looked at him. "But he was drunk...?"
"Still," he shrugged. "Blame it on bad luck."
"Do you think I can help save his reputation?"
"What are you going to do?" He looked at me alarmed.
"Well," I said. "People suspect that the girl was me..."
"You are not going to tell them it's you, are you?" He asked, shocked.
"If it can save his reputation..." I shrugged.
"You are lying for him?" He asked bewildered.
I sighed. "Like you said, it was bad luck it happened to him."
"Does that mean you have forgiven him?"
I shrugged, "I really don't know. It's like, I know it's not entirely his
fault yet I can't bring myself to trust him again..."
He sighed.
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The crowd was even worse today at the entrance of the hotel for it seemed that they knew the boys were coming out.
Colin and I managed to catch up with them.
"You sure you want to do this?"
I looked at him and nodded.
"You love him very much, don't you?"
"Yes, I do..."
He smiled, "Then do what you must."
I walked forward to join the boys. The cameras began to click crazily again. But this time, I was ready for it.
"Jo Andrews!"
"Are you and Zayn still together?"
"Who's that girl in the picture?"
"Jo?" The boys whispered softly as I came up to them.
I smiled naturally as I slipped my hand into Zayn's. His eyes widened with surprise.
"Jo..."
"Zayn and I are still together, of course," I said loudly.
I felt his stare on me.
"Are you not angry that he's snogging another girl?"
I pretended to laugh, "I think everybody has made a mistake. There wasn't another girl. That was me."
I heard the boys gasped and Zayn's grip tightened.
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"Why did you do that?"
We were in the backstage just before the show. Apparently, Jenson was happy for my 'confession'. He seriously thought I was the girl, and sort of scolded me for creating so much trouble.
I looked at the handsome guy standing before me. Overnight, he had became ragged and tired looking. He even had eyebags under his eyes.
"It's the only way," I said.
"It was my fault," he said softly. "I created the problem. I should be the one clearing it."
"What's done is done," I stood up and made my way out of the room.
"Jo," he called out and held me back.
"What?"
"Thank you..."
I stood there motionless.
"Can you forgive me?"
"It is not exactly your fault. You didn't know what you were doing."
He came to stand before me, looking me face to face.
"Jo..."
"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm not ready to face you yet. I need time to digest all these."
"..."
"I have no confidence to trust you again..."
"I know," he mumbled.
"I can't bring myself to have faith that you won't do the same again."
"I will never drink again."
I pulled away my hand, "I'm not sure whether if that will help." I smiled, "It's time for stage."
I stepped away from him, and walked out of the room.
***AUTHOR'S NOTE***
I think it's because I'm coming to the end of the story that's why I'm updating so fast. Okay, I'm going to take my time for the final four chapters and do it beautifully.
A little spoiler - 37 will be Philippines. 38 will be Singapore. 39 & 40 will be back in London. I'm still thinking if an epilogue is necessary. We shall see...