A/n: Rip Texas experienced hurricane Harvey and my street is legit flooded. Stay safe to who else lives here.
Jimin's POV
Tae's health improved exponentially over the few days that my mom and I took care of him.
But we found out that when a cold hits him, it hits him hard with no mercy.
The first day after we "politely convinced" him to stay in bed, when we figured out that his simply sick state, described in his own words as "light season allergy", is actually a serious cold, was when his thermometer was metaphorically dipped in lava by how the temperature was at a scorching heat level.
At the start, he was trying so hard to convince us that the stupid little thing was broken, or that we were reading it wrong and the rising red liquid actually meant that he was medically healthy.
My mom and I just ignored him as he blabbered on like an old man about it being inaccurate, which I'm guessing was his attempt of dismissing the serious results so we wouldn't worry about him like how we were.
But hours progressed on and his staged role as the person who was fine and feeling his greatest despite the awful situation, began to diminish as his true feelings became visible through his gradual transparent acting; revealing that the effects of the cold was hitting him pretty bad.
I noticed this as the time I spent with him in this state aged on. He would put the effort to
shove more life into himself when my mother came into the room, but since I didn't intend to leave his side for long periods of time, he betrayed his impersonation, allowing me to see his weak side to this.
When my mom was on the other side of the door, his personality dropped multiply shades duller; the little smiles and laughs becoming expressionless resting features with an hint of quiver from the pain that was unknown to me.
He relinquished his strong act only to reveal a suffering boy during his worst times.
Tae began to softly cry out that his body was getting set on fire as he struggled to unwrap from the tangled hug of the sheets.
Then, like a shock wave of artic breeze that only he could feel, would send him whimpering as he desperately tried to bury himself under the warm fabric he just escaped from.
Every time he did this, in any other situation this would have been the most adorable thing I have ever witnessed, but I only felt sympathy for the poor boy in front of me who was helpless to this inner fluctuation in degrees.
He looked miserable and uncomfortable, and his skin looked as white as the sheets that were wrapped around him.
I've never experienced a serious cold like what Tae is going through right now.
I'd get occasional sneezes and runny noses, but never as bad as a throbbing hammering at my skull from the inside or the feeling of my body becoming too weak with a nauseating sensation that I can't even stand.
I believe that since Ive never had it that serious, I can't say I know how the pain he's going through is like, and since my knowledge is limited from lack of experience on what to do in these moments, I feel helpless and could only watch.
It didn't bother me much, because I thought that once I'm by his side, that'll be enough.
He soon began to blank out periodically, clocking in by opening his eyes for a few seconds with a rose tint staining his pale cheeks and his breathing shallow, then clocking back out like opening his eyes drained all the energy he had stored up.
Once during those days, my mom went out to be more medicine and to take care of important business, leaving me alone to look after Taehyung. He had been unconscious since the night before, and then morning translated to the evening; he didn't wake up after so long. I started to get scared.
My mum came back to see me in a panicked state, my eyes on the verge of tears out of the fear that grew in me. She moved quick towards him, checking his to see how strong his breathing was and moving quickly to secure everything about him, while I stood there, not knowing what to do.
I let my sight take in the scene before me, only to remember negative feelings coursing through my veins when I see him in this kind of condition. I'm frightened when he's like this.
I'm so terrified that he will close his eyes during harsh conditions that's been inflicted on him, his breathing jagged and swallowed, only for him to never open them again for me to see.
He already lost consciousness for a long period of time before in his life, what if this time it happens and he doesn't wake up this time.
I'm afraid that his temporary unconsciousness, will turn into a eternity of sleep. I'm scared that I can lose him.
But he drew his eyes sluggishly open to our worried expression, looking blankly at both of us before releasing a little smile of security to what was happening.
When my mom stayed by his side for a little and left to make something warm for his chest, I let my tears fall as I silently cried in front of him.
He attempted to wipe the tears running down from my eyes to my cheeks, telling me that he's okay in a comforting, quite tone. I seemed so weak at the moment, when I really should've been strong since he was the one struggling.
I only continued to watch as he suffered his heavy sickness, and the single thing I could really do at the time was rewet and place the towel on his forehead to cool the rising heat.
But other than that, I couldn't help him more, and I started to not like that about me. I hate the fact that all I really did was just watch. I hated that I did so little for him.
So when my mom would make different types of soups for him to consume each day that he woke up and the cold was still active, the times during the day when Taehyung fell asleep, I would ask her to instruct me on how to make them.
Soon I began helping her make it by chopping the vegetables and adding it to the pot, and this continued until it was only me directed myself on what to do and making the soups by myself for him to eat.
Cooking for him became familiar. Feeding him started to become a natural habit; staring at his lips was a daily routine.
Stripping him of his shirt so I can wipe away his forming cold sweat and give him a new clean one became my job. I took on my moms responsibilities that involved taking care of Taehyung, and because of that, I felt like I helped him out more.
The first time he was reluctant to let anyone see his body, but he was lacking too much in energy to argue when I persisted on.
But even if I'm in the room with him the whole entire day and help him with mostly everything, he musters up all his strength to scram me out of the room just for him to change his bandages.
I don't understand why really, but, I try not to interrogate him just because my curiousness is my binding curse. I can't force him if he doesn't want to let me see, so I bury my questions about into the bowels of my thoughts.
Tae still fell asleep randomly during the day, but it was different than the times before. He didn't look distressed and instead a peaceful sight emitted off of him.
It was obvious that his energy was still drained by how he couldn't stay awake through a full conversation with me, but I was non of the less relieved with how he was coming along.
The colour was starting to appear once again in his complexion, bringing back the honey tan that his skinned had possessed previously.
He looked beautiful and peaceful while he slept, such a different sight than how he was a couple days before.
I didn't take my eyes off him, or rather I couldn't, because his virtue took my full attention.
The sun would fall, and the moon will emerge, and through it all, I didn't like leaving his side.
But like I said, the days of me taking care of Taehyung faded as he got better.
His smiles were less weak while he had enough strength to stay awake the whole day and converse enthusiastically with my mom and I.
He regained all the energy that that had been sucked out of him, and was moving around the place like a little kid who couldn't sit still.
When my mom felt that he was healthy enough to go somewhere, she decided that we get Tae some winter close because she thinks the reason he got sick in the first place was because he went outside without the appropriate clothing for upcoming winter.
We willingly agreed with her and I kept my mouth shut as it was ready to spout complains about going shopping with her since she always stays so long that my muscles will disintegrate and I'll become just bones.
In truth, neither of us were going to tell her the real reason he got sick was because we went out in the pouring rain, stayed there for a long time, and feel asleep with wet hair after showering.
Those words explaining about why he got sick can never be muttered out loud for her ears to hear.
She would skin me alive for letting Taehyung and I do something so irresponsible, and the only reason Tae's keeping his mouth shut about it is because he knows my mother has the potential to skin both of us alive for that matter.
We didn't hesitate to get ready to go, scared to cause any trouble for her in fear that she will somehow find out.
So I put on a stripped long sleeve that I wore religiously with unripped black jeans and a red cap.
I decide to let Taehyung choose from my closet this time instead of just lending him it without his opinion.
He chose a black full length jumper with a fluffy white long sleeve sweater and a red beanie, and as he fixed the hat to fit his hair in the mirror, I couldn't help looking at him up and down.
Grabbing my camera from off my side table, I snap a picture of him when he wasn't paying attention.
I do a fake sniffle as I look at the picture, dragging my hand over it softly like I was looking at it longingly.
"What'd you sniff?" He questions and he gives me a confused look as to why I pretended to be blue, but I just shook off his questionable eyes as I rest my camera down and head out of my room towards the front door.
I fell like this is a sad thing we're about to do by going to by clothes for him, because not going to lie, I was getting addicted to him wearing my clothes. It looked cute, and I've gotten the urge to want to see him in one of my jackets.
He follows out and I lock the door behind him, turning the handle to make sure I actually did lock it after taking out the key.
My mom was already waiting in the car ready for us to leave, and as we drove farther away from the cabin, Taehyung's head slowly descended to my shoulder and his eyes gradually closed on him.
So now as we all just sat in the car in silence except for the low radio streaming overplayed songs, I started to think as I just stared out the window.
"Mum?" I question after I let some of my thoughts flow through my head, the one that I'm about to talk about standing out more than the others.
"Yeah Jimin?" She said with a wondering tone, a little smile on her face as her eyes focus completely on the road but the feeling of her full attention still with me.
"How come," I start hesitating, not sure if I should really ask because I feel like I already know the answer that I don't want to hear, but I continue on. "How come dad hasn't really spent time with me since we came here?"
Her little smiles fades into a normal face, her eyes diverting from the road to the rear view mirror. "He's, been working Jimin."
"I know, but it's just that he come home late and leaves so early, so I never get to see him," I inform as I look down at my hands, distracting my dad feelings as I play with fingers."and it's kind of like how it was before."
My mom says nothing more after that, and the air once again gets covered by a coat of silence. I look in the mirror rear you very to look at her expressions, and the little glint that's usually accompanied her eyes seemed to have dulled.
"Taehyung's asleep huh," she suddenly says after a while, and I turn my head so that I can look at him. I pet his hair as I look at his resting face, pleased with the little warmth he gave my shoulder.
"You took good care of Tae you know," my mom told me, and I shake my head yes as I continue to caress his hair. I feel happy when we're like this, this comforting position so I can just play with his hair that I love so much.
"Taehyung and you seem close. You guys are actually matching in outfits, did you plan that?" She questions over her shoulder, and I start to get excited that she noticed something like that.
"Actually we didn't but I also thought-" the momentum in my voice slows down, a wave of small amount of depression washing over me.
I just realised; she kind of changed the subject, to get my mind off dad.
"You also thought what Jimin?" She asks as she waits for me to continue on, but I keep my mouth shut since I suddenly don't feel to speak anymore.
She gets a little nervous when I say nothing, and even though she always does a good job of hiding it, I can still tell.
"Jimin," My mom says in a serious tone, our eyes meeting in the mirror. "You known I'm proud of you right?" I stare for a little before nodding my head and giving her a little smile, mumbling "I know" as I turn to look out the window again.
I'm thankful that she tells me these things constantly, because I honestly needed to hear that.
But even if I'm glad about it hearing the little praises she tells me, there's a certain sadness that stays behind, the sadness of always hearing it from mum, but dad never saying it.
It feels like mum tries to make up for her and my dad's absence from my life in the past, and I'm grateful she's trying since it shows that she really cares for me,
but
I also want to hear dad say what mom has always told me.
I want him to be proud.