Shravan was stupefied. If anything he had imagined, was definitely not this. He never thought a simple kiss could turn into so much more that he would want to continue this until his last breath. The way Suman felt under his hand was something he was not going to forget for a long time.
Yes, they did kiss that night, but Suman was out of her element and being as drunk as she was, Shravan always had this thought at the back of his mind that he would never let things go out of hand. But sober Suman was a firecracker. That timid movements of her lips had become a torrid outburst that he thought he would burst into flames.
Without his consent when Shravan's hand made its way towards her neck, he could feel the goosebumps on her skin, and something snapped inside him. How he wanted to be on his legs, how he wanted, he could show her this kiss wasn't the only thing he wanted to do to her. He could feel every little curve of her, where he put pressure and she hissed with pleasure.
Shravan made her slide more into his lap so that she could feel what she was doing to him. But much to his happiness yet dismay she ignored the fact. He was sure that Suman had lost her mind completely when she tightened her arms around his shoulders and without thinking pressed herself to him.
"Enough," Shravan removed his lips from her, as he breathed, "this is enough." Swiftly unlatching his hand from her waist, he pushed Suman out of his lap. Suman stood there, as though she had completely forgotten the place and time, and how beautiful she looked with those cherry lips, flushed cheeks, heavy breathing, that unruly hair that had escaped her otherwise perfect bun.
"I," she mumbled straightening her dress, "I am,"
"I said enough," Shravan rattled in his wheelchair as if he was in unbearable pain, "if you are wise, get the hell out of here and never come back." He gasped for air when Suman didn't move an inch from her place. It looked like she was way too flustered for her own good, "I am hanging by a little thread here, Suman. If you don't want to make the gravest mistake of your life, then I demand you to flee far away from me. Because if I lose my sanity, I wouldn't be able to think about what is right or wrong."
He closed his eyes while pinching the bridge of his nose, "Please, don't make me cage you," he heard a soft gasp, "because the world be damned if I would let you be free once I have you for myself."
And Shravan knew she ran — her scent still lingering in the room, he took in a chestful of air only to make things worse. Shravan Malhotra was in pain, no, it was not physical. If it were one he would have endured that with a smile, but the void in his chest made his breathing erratic. He hadn't felt it since — no, he hadn't felt such pain ever.
How he wanted to call back Suman and ask her to stay, how he wanted to think her very existence was only for him. But he couldn't, no matter what, he could never be so selfish. With rage building inside him, Shravan swung his right hand on the table in front of him, making the things scattered on the floor.
He grit his jaw, trying to move at least a finger of his left hand — but he failed, "Damn it! Bloody, at least move a little!" Shravan grunted while the tears made his eyes haze.
"Bhaiya," Shravan snapped out of his miseries, "you know you shouldn't put pressure on yourself, it won't do any good." Pushkar sighed.
Shravan let out a humourless chuckle, "I thought you have already left." He looked at the ceiling.
"Suman called." Pushkar slowly went on his knees and started gathering things. He lifted the laptop from the floor, "I guess, it is a piece of garbage now."
"Suman called you?" Shravan asked once Pushkar put the things back on the table, "What did she say?"
Pushkar shrugged, "Nothing, she said, you are not well and the joysticks of the wheelchair aren't working. She sounded sad though."
"Don't." Shravan sighed, "I don't want to hear about that."
"Why? Did you say something to her?"
Shravan scoffed, "I don't want to have this conversation right now."
Pushkar leaned forward, "Then when, Bhaiya, you do know, you are letting your happiness slip through your fingers. Why make your life miserable?"
"Miserable? As if my life is very merry." Shravan shook his head, "I am trying to do right by her, she doesn't deserve it."
"Let her decide that."
"No, she is too young to decide for herself."
Pushkar retorted, "Maa was twenty-three when she conceived you, and Suman is twenty-four. So please,"
"That's it." Shravan banged his right palm on the table, "stop putting ideas into my brain. I don't want to ruin her, but if she stays she will be."
"I can't put anything into your brain if it wasn't already there, Bhaiya." Pushkar smirked, "So please don't blame me for those ideas." When Shravan didn't reply, Pushkar smiled, "Whatever, if you are adamant then I have nothing to say. Now that she is hurt, she would get many to lick her wound. Suman definitely would get someone who is more deserving," he heard a grunt from Shravan, "and of course he will make her happy — Suman will be loved, she will live happily in his arms with her children! "
And Pushkar could swear he had never seen someone so broken in his life, "Bhaiya," and that's when Shravan broke down. Pushkar jumped on his feet. He knew inside this hard exterior his brother was an extremely emotional man. He had seen how Shravan had retracted himself when Alisha butchered his heart, but he had never seen Shravan sob like this.
"You love her," the words flew out of Pushkar's mouth, "you love her so much! How,"
Shravan shook his head, "I don't know, Pushkar, but if I want to stand on my feet desperately, it's because I want her in my life."
***
Shravan's bad mood had made a severe comeback since Suman left. She had e-mailed the HR department to ask if she needed to give the company two months notice period as the contract said upon her joining and on Shravan's command they had told her it was okay if she didn't serve the notice period.
Nirmala and Rosemary were greatly appalled hearing Suman had left the job. And they knew if anyone had to do with Shravan's bad temper, it was Suman. After Suman left, Shravan had refused to go to the office. He again cooped up in his room, often heard shouting over the phone that none of the employees was efficient enough. Barking orders left to right, firing employees with the slightest of mistakes. He was simply out on a rampage.
At home, he wasn't better either. He had almost murdered Ravi for trying to help him get into his bed when Shravan was struggling to do the same himself. He had stopped talking to Rosemary altogether, once he even said if she didn't want to work for him, she could think about her retirement which caused Rosemary to cry for hours in the kitchen.
It was a Sunday, Shravan was sitting in the garden with his parents. This was a ritual of sorts, they would always sit on the lawn together and have evening tea. Shravan had stopped joining his family, but for the last few weeks, Pushkar had cajoled him into joining their talk-your-heart-out-family session in which Shravan never participated.
Shravan grunted, closing his eyes, even the garden reminded him of Suman. How they used to sit and work here for hours after lunch break. He missed her little quirks, her beautiful smiles, her flare of comebacks — he simply missed her. He knew Suman was an efficient worker, he would even consider her a good friend, but he hadn't anticipated the impact of her leaving would be this huge.
They were silently sipping tea, when Nirmala almost cried in ecstasy, "Oh my god, Suman, what are you doing here?" Shravan's heart almost stopped beating and started racing a mile. He turned his head, Suman was standing with a file in her hands. And she looked beautiful.
The sheer presence of her made him breathe normally as a heavy boulder moved from his chest. "I was — I wanted to return this file, it's important. I called Pushkar and he asked me to come here," Suman hurriedly said, savouring her voice Shravan closed his eyes, "Or I would have given it to the office. I am sorry if I am disturbing you at this time, on Sunday."
"You are most welcome, Suman, come sit with us." Nirmala smiled.
Suman hesitated, "Actually I am here to meet Pushkar. Can you please let him know that?" Shravan frowned as he looked at her. She was deliberately avoiding looking at him, and Pushkar! He didn't know they had been talking to each other.
Unnatural, untamed possessiveness surged through his veins, as though given an opportunity and he would hide her from this world. He looked again at her, this time more minutely. Suman looked good, like she was happy being away from him. Her eyes never flitted towards Shravan, as if she wasn't aware of his presence. He closed his eyes tightly this time — barely restricting himself to react.
She was supposed to be depressed, she wasn't supposed to look that good! Wasn't she the one who proclaimed her love for him — Shravan fumed as the realisation was drawn upon him, Suman had never said she was in love with him. She kissed him twice, once when she was drunk and the last time she wanted to experience it with a sober mind.
That clearly meant, those kisses meant nothing to her. Suman was just a young girl who wanted to explore how it felt to be kissed. But for Shravan, it was more than two kisses. When she was just gathering experience, he was being branded. He fell for her hard and fast, his life was as miserable as ever yet she was standing just a foot away as if nothing had happened.
"So, have you joined somewhere?" His father, Ramnath finally asked.
Suman nodded, "Yes, at Ahuja Industries, as Mr Aditya Ahuja's assistant, actually Pushkar helped me to land this job."
Aditya Ahuja! Shravan blood boiled more, he hadn't forgotten the day when Aditya called Suman beautiful when he visited Shravan at the office. As he suggested, Shravan was lucky to have a beautiful assistant like Suman. A notorious flirt like Aditya couldn't be trusted with a pure soul like Suman. She was too sweet, too gullible — she needed to be protected. But what made it worse was that she seemed happy.
"If you are here to give the file, give it and go." He snapped. Shravan finally turned his wheelchair, "you don't need to meet Pushkar for that."
"Shravan!" Nirmala reprimanded, "Suman, no, Pushkar will be here soon. He has gone inside to bring his mobile that he forgot in his room." Nirmala gave a stern look at Shravan, "Please, you are still standing, join us."
Shravan glared at Suman who tentatively took a step towards the chair nearby. "Suman, you are here." Pushkar came outside, "I was waiting for you, come." He held out his hand at Suman.
Shravan rattled, "Where are you taking her?"
"To my room."
"Why?"
"I need to talk to her."
"Talk to her, here."
"No, I need to be alone with her."
A fist collided on the table clattering the porcelain crockeries, "Hell I am allowing that."
"Shravan what are you saying!" Nirmala hushed, "Don't create a scene."
Shravan was already flying out of the handle, "I am creating a scene! I am!" He huffed as he looked at Suman, "Aren't you fast enough! You have already found an alternative, haven't you? Look at you glowing, when I am here feeling like I am trapped in hell, and you are trying to manipulate my brother," Shravan moved his wheelchair so fast that within a blink he was beside Suman grabbing her wrist, "keep your filthy paws to yourself, when you couldn't lure me, you are eying my brother?"
"Enough!" Ramnath's voice shook the core of the garden, "You are taking it too far. Leave her hand, Shravan!"
He left her hand slowly, wincing when Suman gave him an icy glare, "You are right, Pushkar is much better than you. I should have eyed him from the very beginning, at least he knows how to respect his own feelings, at least he doesn't want to play God and decide the course of life for others." She stood, "And yes, I am happy, because finally, I am working for someone who is not mentally handicapped," and Shravan flinched, "because I can handle people if they can't move their limbs, but I can't stand people who are mentally sick."
"Suman!" Maybe listening to the venom in her voice, or the way she had verbally slapped him brutally, Shravan grabbed her hand again and jumped on his feet for a second then collapsed the next second on the ground taking down Suman with him.
They both looked at each other with wide eyes, while Ramnath, Nirmala and Pushkar ran towards them. Shravan looked at his feet then at Suman who was looking at him with eyes filled with tears — Shravan not only managed to move his body, agreed it was hardly for a second or two, at least he could stand on his feet after four years. And it was all because of Suman.
***
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