Turns out that Kevin is still mad at me. I don't know why but he just is and the fact that I had a dream about Zavian scares me. I've never dreamed about Zavain before. Never in my life. I don't understand, but maybe it has something to do with the fact that I actually thought about Zavian before I went to sleep. I thought about what it would be like if we did go out. I wondered if he even would go out with me or would it all just be for Kevin. I really don't know. Another thing that I thought about last night was that Kevin likes to play jokes on me alot. What if I do take him seriously and then it really is all just a big joke. Then I'm the one stuck looking like a dummy. Kevin sounded and looked pretty serious though. I look at Kevin across the table from me eating cereal. I roll my eyes. I really wanna make my brother happy. I mean he does almost everything for me. I can do this one thing for him. I let out a sigh.'' Kevin.'' He ignores me. I groan.''Kevin. Please listen to me.'' He ignores me once again. I narrow my eyes at him..'' You know I really hate when you're mad at me. Please talk to me.'' He takes a bite out of his pancakes. That he didn't bother to share with me. That's another reason of how I now he's mad at me. He made me eat cereal on a saturday morning. He raises his eyebrows as to say that he's listening.'' I'll go out with Zavian okay.'' He looks at me and smiles. I then add.'' I trust you and know that you won't let him hurt me.''
''Of course I won't. I just want you to experience some kind of love from someone else that sees you with somewhat of a way as I see you before I head off to colloge and I feel like Zavian could show you that.'' He's serious.
''I trust you Kevin.''
''You can always trust me sis, but love isn't gonna run and jump into your arms. You're going to meet someone who is gonna hurt you and I'm not gonna be here to stop them. I'm your big brother and I always will be,but I can't always protect you.'' He pauses and stares at me then adds.''Another man is.'' As much as I hate to admitt it Kevin is right.
''I know.''
''I'm warning you ahead of time though. I'm not promising that Zavian won't hurt you. He's just like any other man, but I won't let him hurt you physically. In love though everyone gets hurt.'' I close my eyes. I don't want to get hurt, but I don't want to always be lonely. I want to experience love for once and if that means experiencing it with Zavian then so be it. My brother knows what he's talking about he's been with the same girl since he was a freshman. They've been through thick and thin.'' Like you and Courtney huh?'' He laughs.''Sorta but we've been hurt by each other before. I love her though and I've learned through my relationship with her that Love doesn't take pity lil sis.'' I nod my head. I believe him. I've seen Courtney cuss and hit him one day in tears and then the next laughing and smiling with him. I want that.''Thanks Kev. You know for trying to help me and all.''
''No problem lil sis. I love you.''
''I love you too Bro.''
'' Zavian is coming over later to play basketball. Courtney will be coming to. You can watch us play with her.'' I have one question to ask him.
''Does Zavian know of this?'' He looks at me strangely.''You know...me and him?''
''Oh! Yeah. He's the one that suggested it one day while we were talking way back.''
My eyes go wide. I didn't know Zavian thought of me like that to the point were he suggests that we go out.''Oh.'' Is all I say.'
''Don't be so shocked. You're beautiful. You might wanna take a shower and stuff because he'll be here in a hour.''
I jump up and run to my room. I never get hyped up over Zavain coming over. He comes over here all the time, but this time it's different because I'm kind of...sort of... getting to actually like him. Not in my brothers friend like but as in he might be my first boyfriend, and to know that he planned all of this sends butterflies to my stomach.