epilogue
the entire sun, shines on my face
mia pov
trigger warnings: none
I'm meeting my mom today...
I took one last look at myself in the mirror. My dress was a sky blue (just like half of the clothes in my wardrobe) and I was wearing dressy-sandals. I've heard never to wear heels to your graduation. My star necklace was still in its claimed spot, as usual.
This was it. I was headed to NYU in the fall, to study creative writing. I was terrified, but I've always figured I'm a New York girl.
I headed downstairs. My dad was messing with some settings on his Paparazzi Camera.
"Hey, Dad..." I said quietly.
"Mia!" My dad was obviously super excited, "I have to get pictures..."
I went to the front door and posed for the last time. It was a bittersweet day.
"Okay, are you ready to head over?" My dad asked. I nodded, and Dad decided to drive me to school, one last time.
☼☼☼
Our school had a writing contest, at the end of the year. Every student, who was interested, wrote a speech for graduation, and our principal would pick the winners. It was different from most schools, since most schools just did their Valedictorians do speeches. I entered and won the contest, so I obviously had to give a speech in front of my whole class and their families.
Not to mention my mother, who I am about to meet...
Our Vice Principal went up to the podium and explained the contest, right before I went on. She did a little introduction on me, and some of my high-school achievements. I quickly walked up to the stage, after she cued me to go.
"Okay, so, First offI'd like to congratulate everyone here: the graduates, parents and teachers... the graduates for getting this far in our lives-and the parents and teachers for showing us all the way through. _ It's an honor to be here with you today. _ Actually, I was so honored I wanted to do something really special for you. I wanted you to look under your seats you would have your high school diplomas, but I see you've all got that covered.
A recent study by a group of psychologists in the journal Science found that people are extremely poor at predicting their futures. Wherever you think you're heading right now might turn out to take a completely different route down a completely different path, and this is exactly what happened with my mom, who is out in the audience today... She started out college, working towards being an engineer, but then she became a writer, and an occasional guitar player. Many people say that the key to life is to develop and internal moral, emotional map that can tell you which way to go. Well, you might think you have this map, but in reality, you probably don't. That's totally fine, you're life can change in a mere seconds. My life has changed a lot in the past year, and it's changing my the minute.
Now, as scary as it sounds, high school is over. We're headed to college, or another form of schooling, or just life. Cliques don't matter anymore (for many of us, they stopped mattering after Sophomore year), and you're kind of on your own. But even though you're on your own, you're not alone. Even when you feel lost, like you're waving through a window, you will be found. It might take a little patience and time, but sometimes the hard route is the right route to take.
As we throw our caps in the air, and tag our lpictures with hashtag-graduation, let's remember that it's not always going to be easy. Though it won't always be easy, you are lot alone. Even when the dark comes crashing through, when you're broken on the ground, when you just need a friend to carry you, you will be found... Thank you..."
When my speech was finished, I smiled, and headed back to my seat. Random awards were handed out, more speeches were given, etc. The moments that ticked away the graduation ceremony, ticked away at the time until I met my mother. I only had a matter or minutes-or even seconds-when all do us graduates threw our caps in the air. I felt like I was about to throw up, but I guess it was a mix of nerves and excitement.
Before I went to find my family, I went around and said hi to my friends. There was a tiny bit of press there, mostly because Susan's Aunt Alana was at the Graduation, and she was running for a seat in the national senate, in the upcoming election.
"Girl, you've got to hide me. These newspaper people are driving me crazy!" Susan ranted, as I ran up and gave her a hug... I laughed.
"Did they get a good picture of you and Alana?" I asked.
"They're interviewing her right now, and Mom and Dad are staying with her. They let me frolic, thank goodness..."
"Susan, I'm going to miss your rants every day..." I told her.
"I know. I'm going to miss your reasonableness..." Susan said. If you didn't know, Susan is taking a gap year (or more, depending on how it goes, but she is taking online classes) to be an ensemble member in a new musical, that's being produced in D.C. "By the way, I think I saw Aunt Alana talking to your mom and dad earlier. I'm probably going to go with my family later..." Susan told me.
"Okay... Do you know where Chris is? I literally haven't seen him all day..." I asked.
"Chris is probably stalking the cameras, hoping to be in the background of something..." Susan laughed.
Susan and I kind of walked around, looking for Chris, until we found him, with his family. The three of us took pictures and talked and stuff. if you were wondering about Chris' family situation, Chris and his brother worked some things out. Chris and his brother started going to counselors (at my dad' s office), and Chris' brother learned to be more civil (though he still had a long way to go) and Chris learned to cope wit what he was going through. Chris couldn't wipe the smile off of his face. He was going to study software engineering at Carnegie Melon. I was honestly super proud of the three of us. We had all come so far since we all became friends, and I couldn't wait to see what we were going to do.
Soon enough, Susan and Chris decided that they were going to see their families, and I decided that I would too...
This was it.
I wandered back to where the cameras were, surrounding Susan's Aunt Alana. I kind of walked around that area, until I saw my father. He was talking to some familiar looking woman-the one from the picture, to be exact, and Grandma was with them.
"Hi..." I said quietly.
"Mia! Congratulations!" my dad said, giving me a huge hug.
"Thanks!" I replied. In that moment, I realized that this wasn't the moment to be shy. I mean, yeah I was meeting my mother, it was scary, but I realized that it was more of a happy time than a scary time.
"I'm so proud of you, Mia!" My grandma said, as I gave her a hug as well.
"Thank you!" I told my grandmother. I then turned to the new woman, from the picture.
My mother.
"Hi, Mia... I'm Zoe, and I'm your mom..." the woman said. I mustered a smile, but I still had a look of shock on my face. I think my mother was able to tell, "Look, I'm sorry, and I know you probably hate me and all-"
I gave my mom a hug, not knowing what else to do. Naturally, I could hear Dad snapping a few pictures, but I didn't mind. This moment kind of deserved to be documented.
"I am so proud of you, Mia," my mom told me, I smiled.
"Yeah, we all are, really..." Dad said, smiling.
"Well, thank you both very much..." I replied... The whole situation felt surreal. Almost like one of those shoes that you see on ABC, but this was my life. I had this family, and one of the members, I was meeting today. I was trying to keep the situation as positive as I could, and it was working. I started not to feel weirded out. My mother tried to explain where she was all these years, and just everything in general. I wasn't really mad or hurt, like many people would be in this situation. I mean, she had a pretty valid reason to leave me with my dad. We decided just to have our own little "hang out/catch up" deal at Dad and I's house, just so everything could be caught up, and we could all just talk. Before we left, I had a thought...
"Hey, is it okay if I go somewhere real quick? I swear, I'll meet you back at the house..." I asked.
"Sure, but I'll take you home to get your car, first..." Dad told me.
When we got back to the house, I changed into a t-shirt and shorts, and then I got into my car. i started to drive towards that country part of town that old people seemed to enjoy. Of course, I had to plug in the directions into my phone, just so I didn't get lost or anything. This was a first time visit to where I was going.
I didn't really expect my parents to get back together or anything. I mean, if they were, I figured they would have done it by now. I guess that they were super close friends. I won't ask them, just so I'm not like nosy or anything. This is a kind of weird thing for me to say, but I still sort of "shipped" my parents, just because I thought they were cute together.
After about fifteen minutes or so, I finally got to the Connor Murphy Memorial Apple Orchard. A few families with kids were there, and a group of middle school girls, who were posing together for cute Instagram pictures. I smiled a little bit. I still remember when I was like that.
I stood out in the open, starring out at the trees. Though I was alone, I didn't feel lonely... I had my family, and my friends. I had all this love and support though my life, even during times when I didn't realize it. I looked out at the tallest tree. I wondered what the world would look like from up there (thank goodness it wasn't an apple tree, though... I didn't want to poison the apples with whatever was on the bottom of my shoes). I started climbing, one branch at a time, and I kept going, even when it seemed like I couldn't find another foothold. At some points it felt hopeless. Everything was telling me just to let go of the tree, but I didn't let go. I just... held on, and I kept going...
I kept going until I saw the sun.