Chapter Twelve
Ellie had Otis's letter burning a hole in her pocket. He had sent it in the post instead of by wire and she dreaded finding out what he had said. She hadn't read it in town, wanting to wait until she was locked in her room, instead of reading it under Brody's watchful eyes.
"You get in there and talk to my brother. I'll see to the horses," Brody ordered as she climbed down off the buckboard.
Ellie nodded, took a deep breath and walked inside. Susie and Sally were both sitting on the couch sewing and Ellie gave them a small wave, "Hi girls."
Susie didn't look up from her sewing but Sally looked up and threw her a dirty look, "Goodbye Alice," she snapped.
Ellie sighed and blamed the girl's mood on the bitterness and anger she seemed to hold onto. Ellie walked back toward her room, deciding that she would read Otis's letter before she talked to Jacob. She was willing to do just about anything to put off talking to Jacob. She didn't want to see his anger or the hate she feared he would feel for her.
Brody seemed to have already accepted her story. She had opened up to him on the way back from town and surprisingly enough she had found that he was an understanding man. Quite different from the cold, mean, unfeeling man she had thought him to be. But he had warned her that while Jacob might be the gentler of the two brothers, he was also the most stubborn. He was the type of man that got an idea into his head about what was right and what was wrong and refused to bend on those beliefs.
Ellie was lost in her thoughts and her fear, with her hand on the knob of her door when Jacob's voice came from behind her, sounding cold and angry, "Ellie, I think we need to talk."
Ellie's eyes widened and her heart fell to her feet. He knew? How did he know. She had been imagining for over a week, what her name would sound like on his lips. The coldness in his voice as he said it wasn't quite what she'd been thinking of.
She turned and forced herself to look up at him. She was shocked by the icy look in his green eyes. The look currently on his sharp featured face was one that made the angry Brody from this morning look like an innocent little puppy.
"Jacob, I can explain..." she started.
He shook his head, "We'll talk in there." he said pointing to her door. Ellie nodded and opened the door. She stepped in and he stepped in behind her, slamming the door so hard that it shook the walls and made Ellie wince, "Jacob please..."
"I don't want to hear a word you have to say, Ellie Thompson," he gave a harsh laugh. "I thought I'd finally found her. The one woman made just for me. The one woman who would accept me and all the baggage that came with me and love me anyway. I guess I was just as foolish as all the men that came before me and offered you forever."
He held up her diary and then threw it down on the floral bedspread. Ellie stared at it, cursing its existence and then looked back at Jacob. Seeing him closer like this, she could tell he'd been crying and she felt her heart break. Tears sprang to her eyes and for the first time in ten years, she didn't bother with trying to hold them back, "I don't know what you doing reading my diary but I can explain if you'll let me...."
Jacob held up his hand, "I don't want any explanations. I loved you. I really loved you. I would have done anything for you. Anything. But now....." he shook his head and ran his hand over his face.
Ellie crossed her arms over her chest, in an attempt to shield herself from the pain, "Are you saying you don't really love me now?" she asked brokenly.
He snorted and threw his hands in the air, "I don't even know you!" he yelled, "You're a thief. A liar. And from what I can tell, you're a whore!" The word whore made anger fill Ellie. Sure she had been a thief and a liar but she was no whore and he damn well knew that after taking her innocence just the night before, "I am not a whore, Jacob Atkinson, and you damn well know it! Now if you'd just listen to me! Otis found me....."
"I already told you that I don't want to hear what you have to say!" he snapped as his fists clenched. "It's not as if I can believe a word you say. Not anymore."
Ellie's legs would no longer support her weight and she collapsed on the bed as tears streamed down her cheeks. How could she make him see if he refused to listen.
She grabbed her diary and flipped through pages until she found the entry she was looking for. This one talked about how she was doing everything she did for her sister. To keep her sister from having to live the life she had lived, "Did you miss this entry while you were snooping?" she demanded.
Jacob snatched the diary from her hands and read it over and then he snorted and threw it back down, "Don't try to justify the person you are, Ellie. You think I don't know how hard it can get when you have to take care of someone else? I do know. But I can tell you that I never took a damn thing that didn't belong to me and I sure as hell never broke anybody's heart just to gain a few dollars!"
"Jacob, please listen...." she begged desperately.
"I'm done listening."
"You haven't listened at all."
"But I have. More then once we've sat and we've talked. We've talked for hours at a time. I told you everything about me and the whole time I was falling in love with a woman who was lying to me with every breath she took."
"No, I wasn't...."
He cut her off again, "Pack your bags. In the morning I'm taking you to Cedar Falls and your getting on the first train to San Antonio and I never want to see or hear from you again..." Jacob turned his back to her to hide the tears that were gathering in his eyes.
Ellie stood and grabbed his shirt sleeve, "Jacob, I love you." she sobbed.
Jacob stiffened. Everything in him wanted to take her into his arms and kiss those tears away. But how could he believe a word she said? He jerked his arm away, "I guess you're pretty disappointed that you didn't manage to get a ring this time," he said coldly and then he quickly left the room, slamming the door behind him once again, only this time it didn't make Ellie wince.
She collapsed to her knees on the floor and sobbed into her hands. She didn't know how long she sat there and cried. Every hope and dream she had allowed herself to believe the night before was suddenly crashing down around her. Jacob wouldn't forgive her. He wouldn't even listen to a word she said and she didn't blame him. The girls hated her. She had nothing but Otis and the life he offered. She didn't want to go back to that. She enjoyed earning money by working hard. She enjoyed cooking and cleaning. Having long talks with Susie and even squabbling with Sally.
Her mind went to Jacob and she quickly shook her head. She would not think about him. It was too painful. She stood up on weak legs and began pulling her fancy dresses from the wardrobe. She would leave all of Susie's dresses since she didn't want to take any more from this family than she already had.
Once everything was packed, except for the dress she would wear in the morning, Ellie curled up on the bed. The bed she and Jacob had just made love on the night before. She curled up to the pillow, breathing in his musky, masculine scent and clung to it for all she was worth.
"I love you, Jacob. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." she whispered through her tears. Silence was the only response, just as she had known it would be.
***
Darkness was falling before Jacob finally rode back into the ranch. He left his horse standing by the barn and snapped orders at Cookie to put it away before striding into the house. He'd ridden hard for hours, hoping to clear out some of the hurt and pain he was feeling but it had simply made it worse. Loneliness ate at his heart like a disease. He wanted Alice, no, Ellie, he reminded himself. Ellie was her name. His mind kept trying to remind his heart that she wasn't who she said she was. That she was a liar and a thief and that she had planned on breaking his heart from the beginning but never, not since the beginning of time, has the mind been able to convince the heart of anything once the heart has made its decision.
He'd be damned though if he was going to let his heart make a fool out of him again. Jacob looked down the long hall and saw that her bedroom door was closed. He imagined her lying in there laughing about what a fool he was and felt his anger grow. He stomped into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and then went straight to his room.
Maybe if he got drunk enough he'd be able to forget about her and get some rest. Drink after drink of the burning liquid began to calm his raging emotions and he began to think just a little more clearly. Strange how being drunk made him more open to listening to reason than all his anger had. Should he have listened to her earlier? Should he have gotten her side of the story? Was it possible that she really did love him? Really did care about him? Or was that the wishful thinking of a drunk, hopeless romantic who was completely desperate to finally have someone to love?
Jacob threw the half empty bottle of whiskey across the room and it shattered on the wall. Damn that woman! Jacob needed to talk to someone and Ellie was not an option. Susie was too young and innocent and Sally was too hateful lately. That left only one family member. Jacob slammed his hat on his head and strode from the house.
It was dark; well past midnight. The ranch hands were all asleep. The crickets were chirping and the full moon and stars were shining brightly as he saddled his horse and headed for Brody's house.
***
The sound of shattering glass woke Ellie from her fit full sleep. She heard Jacob stomp down the steps and then the door to the house opened and slammed closed.
She rose from the bed and began to pull off her dress. That's when she felt the letter from Otis sitting forgotten in her pocket. She pulled it out and wondered if reading it was even worth the trouble. After all she was coming crawling back to him tomorrow.
Curiosity got the better of her so she wiped her tear swollen eyes and pulled the letter from the envelope.
Ellie,
I'm having a hard time believing that my best girl is suddenly gonna turn her back on me. I took you in when you had nothing, remember? If not for me, you and your sister would have starved to death on the streets after your pa abandoned you. Ten years. Ten years I've provided for you. I pay for Liza's schooling because you begged me to. All I've ever asked for in return is that you use the talents that God blessed you with and make me money. Is that asking too much? I don't think it is.
While your down there in Bakerstown, falling in love, I am having a great time here in San Antonio. You see, little Liza decided to come visit her older sister. And since her older sister has left my employment I had to give Liza a job. She's fitting in at the saloon nicely. Of course, while most men don't have any desire for a twelve year old girl, there are a few that have shown some interest.
You either get your pretty, little ass back here with something to show for all the time you've spent there or I'll let them have her, Ellie. So help me God, I'll let them men have their way with your innocent little sister. I'll turn her into a whore just like I should have done you!
Otis
Ellie dropped the letter to the bed as fear flooded her senses. Not Liza. She couldn't let that monster do that to her little sister! Ellie had lived her whole life doing everything she could to protect Liza and she wasn't going to stop now.
She loved Jacob. She loved this family. She didn't want to steal from them but since Jacob wouldn't listen, what choice did she have? She couldn't go to him for help. He had already made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with her.
She left the letter lying on the bed and her trunk sitting on the floor. She pulled on a split riding skirt and a blouse, grabbed a pillowcase, and then quietly she snuck from her room. She tip toed down the hall, careful not to disturb Sally or Susie in their rooms.
She went up the steps and tested the door to the office. It was locked. She pulled one of the pins from her hair and quickly picked the lock. It was something she had done a hundred times before. She wished she had a lamp but the full moon shining through the windows offered her some light.
She looked around the office and saw the green safe beside the fireplace. She pushed her guilt aside, knowing that she had to do this for her sister and knelt beside the safe. She placed her ear to the cold metal and began to turn the knob. She smiled when she heard a click and began to slowly turn the knob in the other direction until she heard another click. One more time in the opposite direction and one more click and she was pulling the door open.
The house was silent. She kept her ears alert for any sound of movement as she pulled out stacks of money and stuck them into the pillowcase. She knew this wasn't a fraction of what this family had but they were smart enough to keep most of it in a bank and Ellie was no bank robber.
She left the safe door hanging open, leaving the few documents that were inside and quickly left the office. She tip toed back down the stairs. She grabbed a few of the silver candlesticks from the fireplace mantel in the living room and then grabbed the handle of the door. She felt just a moment of hesitation. Was she really going to do this? Was she really going to rob them in the middle of the night and then take off? Could she leave Jacob behind that easily? The answer was yes. For Liza she would do anything.
She made her way through the silent night. Only the sounds of crickets filled the air as she led a horse from a stall. She cursed every noise that the horse made as she went about saddling him. Horse thieving was a hanging offense but what choice did she have? She had to get to Cedar Falls fast so she could catch the morning train to San Antonio. She would leave the horse in Cedar Falls and let the livery know who's horse it was. Hopefully the Atkinson's would find it.
Ellie jumped on the horse and with her shoulders squared with determination she rode away from the ranch.