Hey, it's my last day in Turkey today! *cries* But I managed to get another chapter for you in only a couple of days which must be some kind of record for me :P lol! I hope you like it! Thanks to everyone who continues to vote and comment on every chapter! I know who you guys are and I really appreciate it! :P To everyone else, I hope you vote/comment/fan!! Honestly, it makes my day! And I love talking to all my fans on meebo too :) SO yeah, enough babbling. Enjoy!
EDIT: So, just to clarify, there will not be another upload until after my exams, which end on June 22nd :) Also, the picture to the right is of a guy why looks most like I imagined Jared Cooper to be. It's funny because I spent hours searching and then I just randomly come across him :P hehe. Ian Harding was never right for Jared, having dark brown hair and blue eyes, whereas Jared has blonde-brown hair and brown eyes :D So yeah. Say hello to your new Jared. I hope you like him! If you don't, carry on picturing whoever you picture. :P
Chapter 24
My room was growing dark, as the light slowly faded- the orange tones of sunset fading to purple dusk. Dimly, I could hear the footsteps and voices of the students, chattering excitedly as they walked to their rooms after finishing dinner. My stomach contracted with hunger and I sighed, rolling over and clutching my stomach to try and reduce the pains. I'd hardly eaten anything all day, but I couldn’t face going down to dinner. Jo-Jo would be there and I had no idea how she’d react to me. I knew I had to apologise soon, before it was too late, but what if she still didn’t forgive me?
‘It’s your own fault,’ I rebuked myself. ‘She’s your friend and you should have trusted her more.’
Then again, I had trusted Alex as a friend, though not with my past. But I had still trusted him to be honest with me, yet he had never mentioned Stacey. So how was I meant to tell who I could trust and who I couldn’t? I grew hot with anger as I thought of the situation he had carelessly thrown me in. If he’d have been truthful, none of this would have happened. I’d have known who Stacey was talking about and I’d still be with Jared…
I whimpered slightly at the thought, tears pooling in my eyes as I remembered how coolly he had rejected me. I couldn’t blame him really. I’d pushed him away again and again, and he still had no idea why. I guessed that finding out I’d spent the night with a guy who he already knew fancied me was the final straw.
‘Still,’ I thought angrily, wrapping my arms around the pillow and hugging it tight. ‘He could have at least let me explain!’
I sat upright as the sudden sound of banging on my door began.
“Go away!” I cried, not wanting to be disturbed.
“It’s me, Alex,” a voice called. “I need to talk to you.”
I stared at the door in outrage. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to simply knock on my door! He must have heard about what happened with me and Stacey by now, and put two and two together and realised I knew. Was he stupid or something?
“I said, go away! I don’t want to talk to you!” I almost growled.
There was a slight pause, and then the handle started to turn, and I remembered with a groan that the door was unlocked.
“Well, I need to talk to you,” Alex said firmly and the door began to open.
“No, no, no, no!” I shouted, launching myself off the bed, and yelping as pain shot through my ankle. I lost my balance and fell over, almost hitting the floor when I was caught in Alex’s arms.
“Oooff,” he gasped. “You’re quite heavy!”
I glared at him as best as I could.
“Put me down now!”
“Gladly!” He retorted, placing me on the carpet.
I scrambled away from him and hoisted myself back onto the bed, gritting my teeth against the pain.
“Hey, what happened to your ankle?” He suddenly asked in a sharp tone.
I gave him a withering look. “I sprained it in a fight with Stacey. Or had you not heard about that?”
Alex shifted uncomfortably. “Yes, of course I had. But I didn’t know you’d hurt yourself while fighting. But that’s why I’m here- to explain to you about Stacey.”
“Well, I don’t want to hear it!” I burst out.
“Bee, you don’t know the full story!”
“I told you not to call me that!”
Alex turned away with a growl of frustration, breathing deeply. Eventually, he turned back to look at me, a grim expression on his face.
“I cannot believe,” he said, “that you’re choosing to only listen to what Stacey has to say. The girl is a manipulative liar, Phoebe! And yet you’re choosing to trust her over me! Even after what she did to you!”
His words took me aback, and I suddenly realised how similar his situation is to mine with Jared. Hadn’t I just been wishing that Jared had given me a chance to explain? And now here I was, refusing to give Alex the same chance. I was a lowly hypocrite. Lower than low.
I shifted my eyes guiltily and sighed. “Go on then, explain.”
Alex smiled with relief. “Can I sit down?”
I shrugged in reply and he joined me on the edge of the bed.
“I already went to see Stacey about the fight,” he began. “I wanted to ask her what the hell she had been thinking, spreading all that stuff about your family and everything.”
I winced slightly; the fact that my entire past was now common knowledge to the entire school still distressed me.
“Sorry,” Alex said apologetically, noticing my reaction. “So anyway, I asked her what exactly she had said to you and the teachers, and it wasn’t the whole truth. Yes, Stacey and I were in a relationship when I first met you, but I didn’t dump her for you. Not at all. You have to believe me.”
I stared at him with a cool expression. He sounded sincere enough but then so had Stacey. “So how come you guys broke up then?”
Alex frowned. “She cheated on me,” he admitted. “More than once and with more than one guy. You may not have noticed but Stacey can be very…”
He paused, struggling to find the right word.
“Flirty,” he finished.
I nodded my head. Having seen Stacey at the party, I could fully believe her capable of cheating. I couldn’t believe how much drama there was in this whole story though! Would it ever end?
“Stacey only considered her cheating to be a minor problem and that we could work through it,” Alex continued, a little bitterly. “Every time I found out, she cried, told me how much she loved me, and begged me not to leave her, and like a fool I just took her back. Every. Damn. Time. I don’t know why, I guess I just loved her. I still do, in a way. But things weren’t working out, they hadn’t been for weeks, and leaving her was always going to happen eventually, whether or not you even joined the school. She wasn’t good for me.”
I squeezed his arm gently, trying to be comforting. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled.
He locked gazes with me, his blue eyes disconcertingly bright.
“I’m not going to lie though, I was – am – very attracted to you too. In a way, you acted as a catalyst for us breaking up, reminding me that there were other girls out there, not only Stacey, and I didn’t have to stay in a relationship that made me unhappy.”
He tentatively smiled at me and I averted my eyes, blushing slightly. “Alex, I already said…”
“I know,” he interrupted, his smile twisting slightly. We sat there in silence for a while, left to our own thoughts. I thought back on what Stacey had said, and realised she’d painted herself in a better light, so that she would appear the victim too. It was clear to me that she did love Alex, but she had ruined their relationship, not me. I was simply an easy figure for her to blame.
All of a sudden, Alex huffed out a breath of air and looked at me shrewdly.
“There’s someone else, isn’t there?” He asked out of the blue. “Someone you can’t be with?”
I froze for an instant. “What, no!” I said defensively. “What makes you think that?”
Alex scoffed. “Don’t even bother denying it. You’re overly defensive. So who is it? Old boyfriend back where you used to live?”
I seized his suggestion with relief. “Yeah, something like that. It wasn’t a boyfriend though, just someone I cared deeply about, but I don’t think it would’ve ever worked out.”
Well, that was truthful enough.
Alex looked at me in disbelief. “If he didn’t want to date you, then he must’ve been mad!” He declared. “Trust me on that.”
I smiled sadly. “He did at one point, I just messed it up. I was a complete idiot.”
Alex looked thoughtful for a few seconds.
“And you really, really like him?” He checked.
I laughed slightly. That was an understatement. “Yes, I really, really do.”
“And I don’t stand a chance, right?”
“No, sorry.”
“Well then, you should go fix things with him!” Alex said eagerly. “Yeah, it’ll be hard- long distance relationships are always hard- but there’s skype and facebook and emails…”
I laughed harder. “Now you’re trying to get me together with someone else? You seem to have changed your tune.”
Alex looked at me seriously. “I want you to be happy, Bee,” he said simply. “You’re first and foremost my friend, and if only he can make you happy, then you should at least try to fix things with him.”
I smiled at him, affection surging up within me and I leaned over and hugged him close.
“Okay, I will,” I whispered. “Thanks.”
“No problem, Baby Bee.”
I scowled over his shoulder, and I could feel his jaw move as he grinned.
“Please don’t call me that! Bee is bad enough!” I begged.
“It’s just a nickname! What’s wrong with it?”
I paused slightly, unsure whether to tell him. But I decided it was about time I trusted him now.
“It’s what Jamie used to call me,” I whispered, my voice full of pain.
“Oh…” Alex said. “Was Jamie your little brother?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m really sorry, Phoebe.” His voice sounded full of regret.
“It’s okay.”
He hugged me tighter and I melted into his embrace. Although there was no spark, he felt warm and comfortable, almost like my family.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked uncertainly.
“Not really.”
“Okay then. Sorry again.”
“It’s not your fault Alex,” I reassured him. “It’s not like you could’ve known.”
I pulled away from him, and his arms fell from my back to his sides. “It’s okay,” I repeated.
“Okay. But there’s something else I want to apologise for too. Shouting out in the corridor about you spending the night in my bed wasn’t very smart of me. I didn’t know that girl knew Stacey, but I should’ve been more careful. That’s what caused all this after all. So I’m sorry.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Shouldn’t you be sorry for taking me back to your room in the first place?” I questioned, slightly amused.
“What? No!” Alex said in surprise. “Bee, I mean Phoebe, you were unconscious from drinking so much alcohol. The last thing I would’ve done was dump you back in your room, alone. I kept you in mine so I could keep an eye on you, and I’m not sorry for that. It was the safest thing I could do.”
My mouth opened slightly. I hadn’t thought of that. “Oh right, that makes sense. I’m sorry. You’re going to get in trouble now though.”
“Already am,” he grimaced. “I’ve been given detention for one month. But it’s okay. I took you to the party so I guess it’s still my fault.”
“That’s true,” I grinned. “You’ve been a bad influence on me!”
“I know. But you have to admit, life is more fun when you take risks.” Alex said, but I secretly disagreed. Sometimes risky situations weren’t fun at all. The very opposite, in fact.
“Whatever you say,” I replied, before looking at my alarm clock. We’d been talking for nearly an hour and I knew that I still needed to find Jo-Jo before the end of the day. “I think it’s about time you left now.”
“Sure thing, Phoebe. I’m glad we sorted this out. You be sure to do the same with your guy.” Alex jumped up from the bed, leaned down to give me a final hug goodbye and left the room.
I watched him go, my thoughts now flitting between Jo-Jo and Jared. I’d been planning to see Jo-Jo but Alex’s words made me desperate to see Jared first. I pushed away this longing and sighed.
‘You need to go see Jo-Jo first,’ I told myself. ‘After all, that was completely your fault.’
I slid off the bed, grabbing my crutches that the nurse had brought up later in the afternoon when she came to ice my ankle, and swung myself over to the door. I awkwardly tried to open it, dropping one of the crutches at the same time.
“Bollocks,” I grumbled, and clumsily bent down to pick it up.
Finally, I managed to get myself and my crutches out of the room, and I limped down the corridor towards Jo-Jo’s room. I tried to formulate a hundred apologies, rehearsing them over and over again in my mind, but when I reached her door, I realised that my mind was now completely blank of words. Licking my parched lips nervously, I reached out and knocked the door at the bottom with one of my crutches.
“Just a sec,” I heard Jo-Jo call out, and I forced myself to calm down.
‘She’ll forgive you,’ I tried to reassure myself.
The door opened and Jo-Jo stood there, wrapped in a bathrobe, her ginger curls still dripping wet.
“Sorry, I was in the shower…” she started to say, but trailed off when she realised it was me.
“I’m sorry,” I said quickly, before she could slam the door in my face. “Please can I come in?”
Jo-Jo hesitated for a second, anger and hurt written clearly across her freckled face. “I suppose so,” she muttered, moving back into her room and leaving the door open.
I entered slowly and Jo-Jo was already pulling out her desk chair for me to sit on. I smiled slightly; even when she was mad, she was still incapable of being rude. She was a truly good person, and I’d completely ruined our friendship. Just like I had nearly done with Alex too. Absentmindedly, I wondered what the school councillor would make of my current inability to form relationships based on trust; I was meant to have a meeting today, but I’d skipped it, not feeling in the mood. No doubt Mr Jackman would be having words with me about that tomorrow.
“So what do you want?” Jo-Jo said, avoiding eye contact with me as she sat on the bed.
I took a seat on the chair, and launched myself into a full-scale apology, the words tumbling out without me even thinking about them.
“Jo-Jo, I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. A world-class idiot. I’m surprised you even put up with me. I was wrong from the start and I think I knew that all along. My only excuse is that these last few weeks have literally been hell for me, though I know that doesn’t make up for it. So I’m sorry. Really, truly sorry. I don’t know what else to say. Just, please? Forgive me?”
A small smile curved Jo-Jo’s lips upwards as I finished, and I beamed back with relief.
“Alright, Phoebe, you absolute idiot. I forgive you.” She pulled me over to the bed and we hugged, our friendship resealing at that moment. “But you have to tell me everything!”
My smile wavered slightly. “You mean everything about Stacey and Alex?” I said cautiously. No matter how good a friend she was, it was impossible for me to tell her about Mr Cooper. I wasn’t going to be risking anyone knowing for real.
“Yes, silly. What else?” Jo-Jo rolled her eyes.
If she only knew what else there was…
I told her what had happened, carefully omitting any parts to do with Mr Cooper, and by the end she was spitting with outrage.
“So Stacey blamed you for Alex breaking up with her and told the whole school about the crash? What a b*tch! You must be so mad!” Jo-Jo was almost trembling with fury, and I suddenly realised she had a fiery temper.
“I can’t believe she practically got away with it too!” Jo-Jo shouted and I flapped my hands at her and made a shh-ing noise. “She even made out that she was a victim, the lying, cheating cow!”
“I know,” I sighed. “I didn’t even know that Alex and Stacey had been dating, so it wasn’t really fair of her to blame me.”
“I didn’t know either,” Jo-Jo said. “I don’t really mix with that group. Plus, I swear I’ve seen Stacey flirting with all the boys in class.”
“Probably. She did cheat on Alex.”
“Argh, you’ve got to do something!” Jo-Jo cried.“You can’t let her get away with all this, Phoebe!”
“I won’t,” I said grimly. “I’ll think of something.”
I’d had plenty of time now to dwell on exactly what Stacey had said in the nurse’s room, and I knew most of it had been lies, even if they were based on truth. Stacey was obviously one of those people who could never blame herself, or admit she was wrong, preferring to blame anyone else around her. She might have been punished by the school, but I felt like I needed to do something myself too. Just to settle the score. Maybe it was immature of me, but I couldn’t help feeling the resentment of how well she’d manoeuvred herself out of serious trouble stir within me. After all, we’d both been suspended for fighting, but she only had to have her parents informed and write me a letter, for everything else she’d done.
“We should put spiders in her hair or something,” Jo-Jo was now musing on plans for revenge, and my ears pricked at her idea.
“Does Stacey hate spiders?” I asked.
“Well, yeah! I mean, what girl doesn’t?”
“I don’t.” I told her, and a smirk crept onto her face.
“Excellent!” She said, her blue eyes shining with excitement. “I think we might just have ourselves a plan…”
We spent the next few minutes amusing ourselves, imagining the look of terror on her face and trying to think of the best scenario to use a spider in. It was good to relax and laugh for a bit, and I even managed to forget about Jared for a while.
After a while, the bell rang, signalling it was ten o’clock and we hugged goodbye.
“Friends?” I whispered one more time, just to be certain.
“Friends.” she agreed with a smile, and squeezed me tight.
I swung back to my room on my crutches, my heart feeling lighter than it had for a while. I had my two best friends back, and now I only needed to explain what had really happened to Jared. I just hoped he would listen and forgive me. I hesitated when I reached my door, glancing around for any students or teachers. The corridor was deserted. Making up my mind, I carried on further down the corridor, until I reached Jared’s door.
My stomach twisted and contracted with unease and I chewed on my lip. My heartbeat slowly increased until it was pounding against my chest.
‘It’s now or never,’ I decided.
Taking a big breath, I gathered all my courage, raised a trembling arm and knocked.