❝ I DONT NEED ANYBODY
TO KEEP ME SAFE ❞
–
"Sorry I'm late." Noah wiped the sweat from his face. "I got caught up again."
"It's not a problem." Winona stood and nearly stumbled over her feet. Sara was quick to jump from her chair and run to her rather, wrapping him in a tight hug.
"I just got back from some station out west, they've been having electrical issues." He wiped his chin and feebly got to a knee, rubbing his daughter's back. "Damn underestimated the issue. I've been there since six AM. Can you believe it?"
"Jeez, is it fixed?"
"Yeah, yeah, I fixed it." He wrapped his arms around Sara and hoisted her up. The small girl wrapped her legs around his waist and rested her chin on his broad shoulder.
"Uh, you guys have stations? As in more people?" She asked, scratching her neck.
"Mhm." He kissed Sara's temple. "We've got a few stations of people around the area."
"I thought you had a lot of people as it is." She laughed dryly.
"We're one of the biggest groups around."
She nodded and shifted her weight from one foot to another. After a moment of silence, she remembered something. "Hey, uh, about the night runs. Negan gave me permission to tag along, do you know when the next one is?"
His eyes lit up and his posture straightened. "Yeah, it's tonight if you can get ready fast enough. We leave in around..." he checked his watch. "twenty minutes."
Taken aback, she swept her eyes across the room to make sure everything was put away. "Yeah. Yeah, I can come along, I'm just gonna go take a quick shower."
"Meet me by the gates, then."
"Yeah," she responded, and hurried out the barn doors.
Spending most of her day in the cooped up barn, she hardly recognized how humid it got. Not until the cool breeze swept against her sticky skin did she sigh at the relief. The pungent smell of nearly fifty sweating children was nice to get a break from. She kept her eyes locked to the grass, clicking her feet together every now and then.
She glanced down at the watch her grandmother got her for her twentieth birthday. Truthfully, Rick scavenged it, but grandma put in the special request since she was much too feeble to do it herself. She said something along the lines of, 'once the world lost its pace, we lost our sense of time. It's foolish, Winona, because time is all we've got left to hold onto.' She never truly agreed, but she cherished anything the woman gave her.
4:45. She jumped into a hard figure and stumbled back, able to catch herself in time. Deftly balancing herself, Winona glanced up to see the delighted eyes of Negan.
"That wasn't exactly the hi I was expecting, but I'll take it." His eyes dropped down her body and trailed back to her eyes.
"Sorry," she mumbled. She wasn't sorry, but she wanted the conversation to go by as quickly as possible.
The men Negan stood chatting with drifted to the side and sparked a conversation of their own. She rubbed her forehead, feeling dizzy and tired, but wanting nothing more than to tag along on this night run.
"Now where are you off to in such a hurry?" He asked, stroking his graying beard.
"The night run. Noah told me there was one tonight." She crossed her arms and squinted at the front entrance. She wondered if Negan would stop her if she walked away.
"Who the fuck is Noah?"
"Your worker?" She raised a brow. "You don't know your workers?"
"Only the ones that matter, sweetheart." He twitched the corner of his shaggy lip. She scoffed and shook her head, bumping his shoulder with her own.
"Screw you, I'm going to shower."
"Well don't let me stop you." He stepped to the side and lowered his gaze down her body.
"Wasn't going to," she called over her shoulder.
The shower was steaming hot. She made it quick and was dried off, clothed, and ready to go with five minutes to spare. Her outfit consisted of her jean jacket, a tank top, and some spandex that ended just below the knee. She never left the house without her denim jacket; it was her mother's before she passed away. The right side pocket had Caverly printed in a small font. It came in handy because it was harder material for walkers to bite through if one happened to sneak up from behind.
The gates were crowded with young and middle aged men, along with a few women. She hurried over to Noah, hands stuffed in pockets, keeping a cool look on her face. Noah linked his fingers in the chain and nodded when he saw her.
"Ready?" He asked.
"I think so. I'm not sure how you guys organize your runs." She fiddled her fingers and darted her eyes around the premises. Men were stacking duffle bags in the back of a pickup truck and arming themselves with various weapons. Handguns, blades, she even saw one man shove an explosive in his truck. Nothing was as crazy, however, as the barbed wire bat Negan wielded as he sauntered into the crowd.
"It's simple, really," Noah started, but Winona was only half listening. "We get whatever we can find for a few hours and store them in the duffle bags, those ones there. We're supposed to stay in groups, Negan doesn't really care but they should be small because he doesn't want anybody getting lost or hurt, and he wants to branch out as much as possible. At ten we'll choose a place to sleep for the night, a lot of the times it's our cars because we can't find somewhere secure enough, and we'll wake up at six AM to head home. Sometimes we do a little more scavenging in the mornings but that's only if we find somewhere with enough things. Kind of a rarity nowadays."
"Sounds like a blast." She raised her eyebrows and swept a hand through her hair.
"Yeah, it's real fun."
The air seemed to be getting hotter, so she wrapped the jean jacket around her waist and secured it tight.
Noah lowered his brows and squinted. "Negan doesn't usually come on night runs. He has once or twice but that was a long time ago."
Winona shuffled uncomfortably and pulled her hair into a ponytail. "That's strange."
"Well, he does what he wants."
"Do you like this?" She asked, not taking her eyes off Negan. "You know, the autocracy?"
Noah chuckled under his breath. "Well that's an extreme way of putting it, isn't it? I wouldn't call it an autocracy. We have a say in things."
"Is he a good leader?" She asked.
"He keeps us safe." He nodded and seemed to think over his answer. "He cares. I'd say he's one of the best, but I don't really have anything to compare it to."
She thought that was sad, because she'd only ever had one other leader, and he could run circles around Negan. Maybe she was biased, but ethicality also played a humongous role in what made a good leader in her opinion.
Before she could straighten her thoughts, Negan sauntered over with the bat on his shoulder and a wide grin. "Winona," he drawled.
"Negan," she responded flatly.
He chuckled gruffly and averted his gaze to Noah. "How are you doing, Noah?"
The younger man looked taken aback. He stuttered and managed to muster an answer. "I'm fine, how are y-"
"I'm glad to see you made a friend over the fucking age of ten."
"Are we not friends?"
"Sure as hell don't act like it. Come on, sweetheart, you're riding with me today. I need to give you the rundown of how this shit's gonna go, and you're gonna listen." He snaked an arm around her waist and walked with his usual stride. Chest puffed slightly out, back bent, and his foot lazily dragging one after the other.
She peeked over her shoulder and watched Noah tentatively enter a red truck. "Know how to use a gun?"
She furrowed her brow. "Of course I know how to use a gun, it's the apocalypse."
"You'd be surprised, sweetheart." He slid a handgun from the waistband of his pants. She recognized it immediately because it was the exact kind her father would keep hidden under his bed. "You try and shoot me, my men will mow you down in less than a goddamn second, you hear me?"
"If I wanted you dead, Negan, it would have been done by now." She tried to sweep the gun from his grip but he jerked it back.
"Is that so?" He ran his tongue over his lip. His eyes flickered down her body as some sort of intimidation tactic but she wasn't having it.
"I only kill when I absolutely need to." She raised the corners of her lips and decided to taunt him. "I could have you down in seconds."
He threw his head back and let out a rumbling laughter. "With what weapon?"
She curled her fingers with outstretched arms. Negan flicked his tongue over his teeth and shook his head. "Your hands? Ain't that fucking cute."
She rolled her eyes and jerked the truck door open harshly. "Fuckin' careful, Winona. This truck is my baby." He ran his hand down Lucille's slick base. "Well other than, you know."
"Freak," she mumbled once the door was shut.
He trailed around the hood and hopped in, jostling the vehicle. When the engine revved, Winona reached across her seat and buckled herself up, earning an odd glance from the man beside her. "Really? Don't trust me?"
"It's just a habit."
The car moved with a swift jerk and soon they were out the large gates, multiple cars and trucks on their tail. "So if you only kill when you absolutely fucking need to, what unlucky man of the year made you see red?"
Her breath hitched. Each time she remembered that moment, his face appeared in full detail. Rounded nose, beady eyes, thin lips and stringy hair. Most importantly the rivulet of blood streaming in a clean line down the bridge of his nose.
"His-" she struggled to finish the sentence but figured her weakness was best not shown in front of Negan. "His name was Gus."
"You knew him?"
She shook her head. "No, I went into his wallet and stole his ID, remembered his name. Then I took his money."
"Shit, you committed homicide?" The man's sickly grin showed his respect for the thought. "I mean, I knew you had some big ass balls, but a butcher? I was not expecting that."
She grimaced and turned to the window. "It was at the start of this. He broke into our home and tried stealing our things. The streets were covered by this point, and he threatened my grandmother with a gun."
"You shot him?"
"Yeah, I shot him. He was threatening an old fucking woman. What kind of scumbag does that? I'm glad he's dead. He deserves to rot."
Negan's lips rose even further. "We do what we have to do."
She flickered her gaze up and down his body. "Really? No taunting? No his blood is on your hands shit, anymore?"
"That shit ended when you said those two, sweet words, baby." She knitted her brows. "I'm Negan."
"Ooh, that. Yeah, I tend to go along with what people say when they're holding a fucking bat to my head."
He grinned and tilted his head back. "Well you better keep your word, sweetheart, cause you're playing for my team now."
"You know this isn't the end." She lowered her voice to sound threatening. "I have a family and I'm not gonna leave. They're probably out there looking for me right now."
"Well if you'd tell me where this sweet little town is of yours, maybe we could compromise."
She cocked a brow with a smile playing at her lips. "Oh yeah? How would that go?"
"You tell me where they are, I let you visit."
"And what's your end of the deal?"
Negan parted his lips then shut them, narrowing his eyes on the road. He seemed to speed the truck a bit.
"Not happening." she said.
"Your loss."
"It'll be yours soon." She flicked her tongue over her lip and emitted a mocking laugh.
"You've got nerve, sweetheart. I fucking like that. If only you could keep up the act when there's a weapon aimed at your face."
She pressed her lips together and directed her gaze to the side window. "Yeah right, like you're such a tough guy when there's a weapon aimed at your head."
"I don't get weapons aimed at my head because not one fucker would think of trying that shit with me." He gripped the wheel and gave it a sharp turn. Winona grasped onto the door to keep steady.
"You make yourself out to be more than you are," she mumbled. Negan glanced over with a grin.
"You sure are a ball-buster, darling." He flicked his finger. "I'll give you that. You know how to make me feel shit about myself."
"You're an asshole."
He hummed and bit his lip. "Keeping going, I wanna see what else you have to say about me. Don't hold back."
"Really?" She raised her brow with a smirk. Negan nodded. "Well then I think I'd like to elaborate on the whole asshole thing. You know, maybe I'm slightly biased, but somebody who names their weapon and has a harem of wives doesn't really sit well with me."
"That was weak, sweetheart. Shit. I was expecting you to tear me apart just now and all you did was state the obvious." He grinned and stroked a hand down his beard. "I don't need you to like me, baby, I just need you to get on my page. You don't need to like my bat, or my fucking wives, but you will need to learn how to work with me. Now if you ask me, that doesn't seem too hard."
"I don't know, your personality isn't very tolerable."
"There we go." He jerked a finger. "That was a little better. I mean, I'd still rate it about a 4/10 but at least you're fucking trying."
"You're a tyrant who's under the delusion that this," she twirled her finger, "is forever. Let me tell you something, Negan, every story had a rise and a fall. Things could end like that–" She snapped her finger.
He seemed impressed. "Wow, you almost sounded badass there. Almost."
"And you rely on cursing to make you sound badass." She leaned her head against the window and tried not to roll her eyes. Negan's fruity chuckle sounded.
"Fuck. I like you. Usually I wouldn't say shit like this but I'm glad you came bulldozing the fuck in here. It might not have been the smartest goddamn move but if it weren't us I'm almost convinced you would have gotten away with it."
"I was close, wasn't I?" She tilted her head and smiled. Negan glanced over with a gleam in his eye.
"A little too fucking close. But all that does is benefit me in the end. I need some more butchers up in here, willing to do the dirty work. You know, when it's absolutely necessary," he mocked.
"Well, like a wise man once told me, we do what we have to do."
He shook his head. "Damn, you are something. Have I told you that?"
"Once or twice." She leaned back in her seat and shot him a lazy smile.
"Shit, Winona, I know I might have scared you a little before, with Lucille and all. You know it had to be done with that shit you tried to pull. But that shit you tried to pull proves that you've got some big fucking balls, and I sure as shit want to take advantage of that. You and I could be something good. I'm always lookin' for another right-hand woman. Don't get me wrong, Arat's great and all but you – you're something else."
"Thank you, Negan." She stroked her jaw and stared blankly out the window. "But I'll always be Rick's right-hand woman."
"Rick, huh? Shit. Were you two fuck buddies or something? Cause I'll gladly fill his spot."
She gave a dry laugh. "Are you really expecting me to agree to that?"
"Have my fingers crossed."
"Well uncross them. And no, we weren't fuck buddies. He was my dad's co-worker and neighbor and I went through most of the apocalypse with him."
"Right. He was in a coma."
She hated how much he knew about her. She didn't remember half the things she had written in her journal yet he knew it all. "He's my best friend."
"Fucking isn't all I can fill in for." He looked over, grinning ear to ear. "See this place I'm running? I could keep you safe, sweetheart. Now I don't know what kind of fucking joint Rick runs, but you can bet your sweet ass it ain't as good as what I've got going."
"Right. A man with five wives is definitely a man I want to be around."
"You can make it six."
"Does it sound like I want to make it six?"
He seemed unbothered by this. His smile grew larger. "I'm a patient man, sunshine."
"Don't you have enough wives?" She scrunched her face. "Or are you trying to make it seven? One for each day of the week."
"I don't fuck all of them. Only the ones who want to."
She laughed and leaned against the window. A few moments of silence passed, only the faint rumbling of the car and their soft breaths. "By the way, Negan." Her voice lowered. "I don't need anybody to keep me safe. I keep myself safe."
He took in a long breath, running his eyes over her figure. "Is that fucking right?" She nodded. "And how could you – by yourself – stay safe? Not a fucking scratch, nothing, being out there on your own?"
"These hands and this jean fucking jacket, baby." She smirked and kicked her feet up. "I'm practically invincible."
"You're a confident shit, huh?"
"Me? Take a look in the mirror, Negan."
He grinned and ran his tongue over his teeth. "Fair e-fucking-nough."
"Are we almost there?"
"Why? Don't like riding with me?"
"It's not as excruciating as I thought it would be."
"Is that a compliment?" He raised his brows and curled the corners of his lips.
Winona shook her head. "Take what you can get, I guess." Soon the building came into a view. The truck dwindled and came to a full stop outside some sort of hotel.
The grounds were littered with rubble and detritus blowing in the wind, but the building itself appeared rather untouched. She figured she got lucky for her first nighttime run, stopping at a hotel.
"Ain't it convenient?" He mused, pulling the key from the truck.
"Oh yeah, if it's not loaded with walkers."
"You don't need to worry about that." He gripped her shoulder and lowered his brows. "You've got your hands, and that jean fucking jacket, baby. You'll be just fine."
"And you've got your bat and leather jacket." She twirled around and pushed the door open. "Oh, and that big fucking ego."
A rumbling laughter came from behind. His callous hand moved from her shoulder to her cheek, making her twist his way. "This was a nice fucking talk, Winona, but you and I need to get one thing straight." His amusement straightened into a stern look. "This shit stays between us. Hell, sweetheart, I fucking love hearing you talk back to me, it shows that you've got guts, and that is sure as hell hard to come across nowadays. But around my men I expect you to respect me. None of this sticking it to the man shit. You're no exception to anyone else, now I know you must have caught on by now, but when my people get on their knees you sure as hell better be in the fucking dirt along with everyone else."
She squinted and bit her tongue, suppressing a snicker. "Alright, I'll conform to your fucked up ways. Doesn't mean I'm gonna like it."
He grinned and flickered his gaze to her lips. "Shit, honey. Nobody's asking you to like it."
He turned to leave, but twisted his body one last time. "By the way, I fucking love it when you curse. It really packs a punch. You should do it more often. It's like a cat tryin' to be a fucking lion, doesn't work, but it is cute as shit."
She was going to tell him to fuck himself but he slipped out before she could. When the cool air hit her skin, she slid her denim jacket on and adjusted it smugly.
She didn't care what he said. A biter couldn't bite its way through her second layer of skin if it tried.