"Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny." ―Steve Maraboli
Ezra Fitz; 4 Years Later
In the past few years of my life, I had my fair share of scares in life. I thought i had a son when I was 18, but i didn't until I was 30, and I had him with the most beautiful girl I ever could have the pleasure of loving. And when i was 32, I had a daughter of my own. Things had changed in a big way. Alison was dead, and ever since i found out, all I could think about was Marley. I wondered if there were ever times she thought about me. Not as her stepfather, but as her real father. I wondered if Toby was good to her. I wondered if he ever got clean. I wondered how much her life had changed without me. How much she knew about her mother, or if her father was only sharing the good things about Alison. Never the bad. I hated Alison. She kept the biggest parts of my life locked away for 7 years, that was something i could never forgive, but she did have a wonderful daughter that we shared. I had been thinking a lot about Alison lately. We kept Alison's suicide note in the second drawer in the kitchen with birthday cards and other important memorabilia from the past 3 years i had spent with Aria. We were married on Labor Day in Upstate New York and have lived there ever since with our two kids. We basically lived on cloud nine. Jem was growing up everyday and Daisy's endless crying seemed to be becoming less and less of an occurrence, because of the sudden halt of drama in our lives, i have talked to Aria about reading Alison's letter and going though the things she had left us. The two boxes sat in the garage where neither of us had to see them, but it was a cloudy day yesterday when we were both feeling like facing a part of our past that stayed a cracked door that had to be closed. I'm glad that it's all over now, and i have almost full closure on that part of my life. I feel like there's something missing through all of this though. Marley will be 8 next month, and there isn't anything i wouldn't do to see her. I miss her everyday. Jem reminds me of her when he draws. He doesn't have a stuffed elephant that he clings to, but a peacock instead. I love Marley so much. I hope to god that she's alright. If heaven exists, I hope to god that Alison is watching her. If i have anything left to say aboout the infamous Alison DiLaurentis, it's that we shared one love in this world, that's Marley.
Dear Ezra Fitz & Aria Montgomery
If you want to define a beautiful love story, it would begin and end with you. You received this letter because you got a call from me asking to see you. This was mailed the same day. I knew you guys wouldn't come. I really can't blame you. You may think that what I've done is selfish. You're right. I can't live with myself after knowing what i have done to you both and my daughter. I literally lied for 7 years, Ezra. The last thing i deserve is sympathy and the last thing you two deserve is lies. I have killed myself because i am no longer safe. Even in prison.
This portion of the letter is for Ezra.
Ezra, I would like to apologize. Marley was the light of your life. But i want you to know that you are not the only one Toby is keeping her from. Since I've been locked up, I have called 143 times and sent 56 letters. I keep tally on the cell walls with a sharpie. I saw her once, and she was just as beautiful as you will ever remember her. She looks like me, and you'll be pleased to know that she doesn't look anything like Toby. Toby may not have even been the father after all, but there's nothing we can do about that now. I am sending you two boxes. One is all of the money you made from the book you published after the car accident, and the second is photos of Marley that I had Jason collect from my parents house. I feel you'll also be pleased to know that i have something set up for years down the line where you can see Marley again. I wont disclose when and what, but just know there will come a day when you see your girl again and i can watch from the clouds happily. I only wanted happiness for you, and I hope that you can understand that I am coming full circle when saying I, Alison DiLaurentis, am an awful person. I've done horrible things, but i do hope you and a very pregnant Aria come to the celebration of my life. Jason told me about Aria. Congratulations! I would like you to also know that I really did love you, and the years we spent together were the best i have ever had. Though they were lies. They were amazing for me. You gave me something worth living for, and now thats over, but i just wanted you to know that much. You are a ray of sunshine in anybody s life. I wish you nothing but good will for the future.
This next part is for Aria.
Aria, Thank you for taking care of Ezra after losing Marley. You spent a few short months together, but Marley loved you just as much as she loved me and Ezra. That counts. She may live with Toby, but when she comes back into your life, she'll remember Ezra more than you, but you are a key component in this journey for her. You and Ezra both are. She is going to have step siblings that she will have no idea about, but i want you to give her a letter i had jason put in one of the boxes that is just for her. I want her to know that I love her more than anything and that Ezra was more of a father than Toby could ever call himself. He's the love of your life, and i should have respected that. I'm sorry I didn't. Ezra will propose soon, and when he does, you wont hesitate in saying yes. You two are made from true love and every trial and tribulation will be worth it. We were best friends, and you and the other girls marked my teenage life. I love you. And i love Spencer, Hanna and Emily. This is a full apology for what I put you through when we were in high school too. Live life to the fullest. I always said i wanted to die young, yet here i am. Dead. And when you read this, now or 20 years down the line, know I can never truly give you the closure you deserve, but i am offering the closure that you want. I love you. Please enjoy the festivities at the wake.
I am very sorry i couldn't live with myself. I hope you have a beautiful life with beautiful children. I wish you many long and happy years. There is another reason though. I killed myself before anyone else could. I was being tracked by some people in my outside life that i was with on the side before i married Ezra. Noel Kahn, specifically. He won't be brought to justice because he doesn't need to be. Noel thinks Marley is his, that's why. At this point, I don't even know who her real father is. The thought that I don't know for sure keeps me awake at night, I'm sorry it had to be this way though. Consider me out of the way. I love you all.
Have nothing but amazing days.
Promise me.
Yours, Ali.
I looked at Aria, speechless. My breath was caught in my throat. I wasn't mad at Alison anymore and millions of pounds had been lifted off of both of our chests. Everything was over. All i could do in the moment was look at my wife, and smile as I shed one last tear for Alison. I could have stayed angry, but how could I be when she brought me to my wife today.
13 Years Later
Aria sat in the kitchen while Ezra watched Baseball on the couch with Daisy. She had quite the interest in sports as she grew, while Jem followed in the footsteps of both of his parents, but he was a little edgier. He looked just like his father, but with a lot more piercings, and Daisy just looked like Ezra and acted like him. She was a Daddy's girl, Jem was more of a Momma's boy. It was a simple day, just like every single other day for the family in the middle of the summer. Through the sips of lemonade in the relentless New York heat, expecting nobody for that whole day, a knock sounded through the house as Daisy started screaming at the TV. Jem stayed out at the kitchen counter and Aria came from the backyard to answer the door, Ezra catching it first.
"Don't worry, bud. I'll get it." Ezra chuckled as Daisy rolled her eyes.
"I'm kind of busy watching my team lose!" She countered. He rolled his eyes at her playfully and answered the door. A curly haired blonde girl sat on the Fitz porch, a bundle of papers clutched in her tiny hands and a terrified look of her face. She had soft features, and the moment Ezra opened the door he knew exactly who she was.
"Marley." After reading Alison's letter, Ezra tried for years to find Marley and Toby. He looked all over the country, but when he emailed Toby 9 years back, he got no response. It was like they disappeared. For months after, it was a struggle for Ezra to get out of bed. He was convinced Alison had given him false hope, and eventually he tried to forget all together, he was going on fantastic, until now. Ezra loved his kids with every piece of his heart, but Marley left a hole that was never filled. She was never talked about, and Jem couldn't even mention his girlfriend Marvette without Ezra tensing up. Marley was his first child, and he lost her. She was standing in front of him, in one piece and grown up.
"Ezra." He wasn't expecting a 'Hey dad. Missed you.' but this was all he would ever need. He smiled.
"Come in, make yourself comfortable." She smiled and walked past him through the door. Aria turned the corner from the kitchen and stopped dead in her tracks.
"I really can't remember your name, but i know exactly who you are!" Marley smiled halfheartedly. Aria nodded, tears in her eyes.
"Why don't you sit in the living room and I grab you something to drink?" Both Ezra and Marley smiled and nodded at Aria. The threesome made their way into the living room, detaching a very confused Daisy from her game. They sat on the couch in silence. Aria was the first one to speak. "I really don't mean to sound rude, but how-how did you find us? We looked for you for years and came up short." Marley nodded.
"I assumed you guys would ask that. Um, Toby, my dad was kind of unstable for the first couple of years he had custody and when I was 8, because of his long battle with addiction, i had to be relocated to a foster home." The veins in Ezra's neck threatened to pop out. Marley noticed very quickly. "No, no i was only there for about 9 months, he met a woman in rehab and they had my little sister Carlen shortly after i got back." Ezra seemed to calm down a little bit.
"You just have no idea how happy we are to see you. To know that you're okay, i mean, there hasn't been a day where i wake up and don't think about you. You must have graduated by now. Where are you at?" She smiled proudly at the thought of her success, she folded her hands into her lap.
"Originally, I wanted to go to UCLA. I always had a strong connection with California, but I ended up at UPenn. It was kind of miraculous, considering i didn't even want to apply but i got a letter from a lady named Spencer on admissions and she really encouraged me. I did and voila! I was comfortable enough in High School but I've never been so happy in one place." Ezra smiled at the thought of Spencer helping his daughter out like that, Aria too. It was comforting knowing that Spencer still had their back after detaching years back. Seeing Marley so happy made Ezra feel a little less awful about not being in her life. Ezra didn't have anymore questions, he just wanted to look at her and bask in everything she had become. Aria was the one to break the silence.
"What brings you here?" Marley's smile fell into a frown at the thought of why she had traveled all the way from Nebraska to see them.
"I'm glad you asked." She gave the couple a weak smile as she put the blue folder on the table. "My dad moved my family to Nebraska after he got clean, but they wanted to move closer to me for my next year of school, so we were moving and-" Tears welled in her young bright blue eyes. She looked just like Alison did the night Ezra came home from kissing Aria. Years of memories overflowed his stressed brain. What was he supposed to do about her crying? He didn't know how to comfort her anymore. She sniffled as she cleared her throat. "Sorry, I just found this box. A box of documents. It had pictures of you and me as a kid, something about my mother and-and I don't know, maybe it was a bad idea to come here today. I'm sorry for wasting your time." As she started to gather her things, the two stood up, Ezra automatically holding her frazzled hands as she held back tears.
"Marley—" She looked at Ezra, trying to contain every emotion she had pent up since she had uncovered the hidden information in the attic. "Please, sit. We're here to listen and answer any questions you have." They shared a long gaze before she nodded and sat down.
"Um, anyways, I'm sorry. Uh, I-I was just wondering how my mom killed herself? And why? Did she love me or was-did she kill herself so she wouldn't have to take care of me?" Aria held Ezra's hand for moral support. He squeezed, letting her know that he couldn't speak right now. They had been together long enough to know when they could speak on each others behalf. This didn't fly past Marley though. She had a rumble with life, and she knew a thing or two about addictions and love, and when she looked at Ezra and Aria, she only saw purity. The intensity that had only scorned her once, and though it was painful to see everything she missed out on, she was glad things had turned out the way that they did, but she wanted to be honest in her reasons for coming here. She knew the Fitz family very well, she remembered small things from when she was little, but Marley was never a dumb child. Having the same last names as two famous writers and professors in the entire east coast? She never thought of coincidences. In fact, the word was never even in her vocabulary.
"No, that's not at all how it happened. Your mother loved you. Ezra loves you, and so do I. Your mother was a complicated woman, more complicated than a young girl at your age could have understood. She had a lot of issues that she never bothered to work out and--" Marley stopped Aria in the middle of her sentence.
"I would like to be honest instead of lying." Aria's eyes narrowed and then widened.
"I know how my mother died," She sighed. "I'm just not sure that she killed herself." Aria and Ezra looked at each other, swallowing a dry lump in their throats.
"Babe, i think we should get the box." Ezra stood and walked out into the garage to gather the small box that had sat there for years, waiting to grace Alison's daughters hands.
"What is that?" Marley inquired as Ezra set it on the coffee table. The box had the name Marley, inscribed perfectly in Alison's handwriting.
"Is this everything my mom left me? What's in it?" Ezra and Aria shrugged and Ezra looked to Aria as if to ask if it was okay to talk about. Gulping, Aria nodded to her husband.
"We can't be sure that it is quite everything she left, but she left this in the mail for us in case we had you." Marley nodded slightly, looking at the box before turning to them.
"Are you sure my mother killed herself?" They both nodded. Ezra tried to hold back tears.
"Yes--I made Aria go down to the coroners to identify the body and everything. Uh," He choked on his tears. "She had the towels still wrapped around her neck so her head wouldn't fall off." He swallowed the dry lump in his throat, trying to compose himself. Marley looked at him the same way Alison did after he told his parents that he proposed to Alison and they disapproved. The sad eyes that he knew like the back of his hands form long ago. Marley's quiet voice was the loudest thing in the whole room.
"My father told me you cheated on my mother. You hit her, and me." Ezra scoffed, shaking his head. Aria, rolled her eyes.
"Your father made you lie to the courts so he could have full custody of you, Marley. Toby can say whatever he wants, there was a time when i loved your mother and she was all I knew for a really long time, but she was not a good woman. I will always have a piece of me that loves her." Ezra sat back and tried not to yell. "Toby was a notorious liar. That's all he was good at. It was a shame he lied to his own daughter."
"Are you saying he lied to me?"
"I wouldn't exactly believe anything out of a Cavanaugh's mouth. I mean, what has he told you?" Aria took this time to stand up and make her way to the kitchen. She saw Daisy, sitting at the foot of the stairs, listening in. Aria asked no questions, she simply sat next to her daughter and rubbed her shoulders.
"Well, to start from the beginning on why I'm actually here today. I always remembered someone from before my Dad. This man that always took me to the park, when i was really small there was this big, purple thing and I could never place the animal, but it had--" Ezra smiled and happily interjected.
"Priscilla. Cilly for short. She was a purple rhino. I won her for you at the fair when you were two years old, and you never let that thing go. You got ketchup on it that night after your mother told you not to feed her, and you did it anyway because she was, and i quote, 'Looking a little slim.' That was one of my favorite memories of you when you were little." Marley smiled, looking down twiddling her thumbs.
"Yeah. I remember that now that you bring that up."
"Sorry, continue."
"Right, anyway. I always felt like something was missing, and i never understood what. I grew up most of my life without a mother, and i never thought of asking until way later down the line. I sat my father down and asked him and he just told me i was too young to understand, and left it at that until i continued to ask. He said that a man took her away from him, and nobody knew where she went. She just up and left. So, i did what any normal 7 year old would do and found my birth certificate. She had the most beautiful name too, Alison DiLaurentis. I googled it and couldn't find anything, so i figured that my father was right and i gave up on it. A few years later i became curious after my teacher assigned us this "where Do You Come From" project, and i looked her up and did extensive research. I found death records, articles about a serious trial. No names were mentioned, but they talked about her trying to kill a man, and her brother and stuff. It was insane. When i brought this up to my dad, he hit me. He was still addicted at this point and told me that you took him from her, and that nobody could have her anymore because of everything you and Miss Aria did. The next day, i told my teacher and she had him arrested and he went to rehab. I can't really bring up my mother around him, it's kind of scary. Not being to be able to talk to your parents. Sahara doesn't really like to talk about it, she's my step mother." Ezra nodded, trying to swallow every word she had delivered.
"So, you're here to find closure on your mother?" Marley shook her head.
"Not quite, um. I actually found out who you know as Toby, and I know as Dad, is not father at all." Ezras head perked up.
"What are you saying?" Marley started to cry, and she wiped the underside of her eyes she looked up at Ezra.
"My entire life is a lie, and i just need some honesty."
"What are you asking me, Marley?" She tilted her head down as she tried to stop sobbing, but she looked up at Ezra once again. Black stains running down her pale face.
"Dad?" His heart broke and he couldn't look at her. He swallowed the lumps that had once again formed in his throat and tried to hold back the tears. He smiled, and then frowned. Marley was always his daughter, but not his biological one.
"You have no idea how long I have wanted to hear you say that, Bug." Her face lifted and they both stood, but Ezra retracted. "But I am not your real father, no matter how much i would love to be." Her face dropped. She turned around to grab her bag and her cardigan. She lifted up the box and headed towards the door.
"I'm really sorry I wasted your time like this. I'm sure you have children that I've taken your time from." She shook her head.
"Marley?" She turned back towards him, plastering one of the largest, fake smiles he had ever seen. "I may not be biological, but i promise you, I will always be your father." She nodded.
"What about my mother?"
"I can't begin to describe how much that woman adored you." She started to cry again, dropping everything at her feet, and running into Ezra's arms. She nuzzled her runny nose into her fathers neck as he rubbed her back. Aria and Daisy snuck back into the living room, Jem watching from the kitchen. As Marley let go of Ezra, she gave old Miss Aria a hug.
Marley looked over her shoulder to see tears falling over his face, Aria made her way over to hold his hands.
"I'm sorry, for the past 13 years i was hoping i would just get to see you again, and now, you're home." Marley smiled sadly.
"I'm so sorry I didn't come sooner."
I AM WAY LATE TO THE GAME.
HERE IS THE VERY LAST CHAPTER. SKYLER AND I HAVE PROMISED AN EPILOGUE. I'M SURE SHE'S STILL WORKING ON IT! I APOLOGIZE DEEPLY FOR NOT HAVING THIS CHAPTER PUBLISHED MORE THAN A YEAR AGO! I HAD NO PART OF THIS CHAPTER, THIS IS ALL SKYLER'S GENIUS! I STARTED WRITING THIS WITH SKYLER WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL AND I'M NOW A SENIOR IN COLLEGE! PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR LETTING MY LIFE GET TOO BUSY!
THANK YOU ALL FOR READING AND LOVING THIS WORK. IT WAS A BLAST WRITING WITH SOMEONE AS TALENTED AND CREATIVE AND FUNNY AS SKYLER AND I HOPE TO GET BACK INTO WRITING ON HERE SOON; JUST WAITING FOR SOME INSPIRATION AS I AM NOT OBSESSED WITH PLL OR EZRIA ANYMORE.
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR OPINIONS OR COMMENTS OR ANYTHING AT ALL, LEAVE A COMMENT OR MESSAGE ME, I WILL GET BACK TO YOU.
THANK YOU ALL AGAIN FOR YOUR NEVER-ENDING PATIENCE! THERE WILL BE AN EPILOGUE!
SO MUCH LOVE
XOXO MARISSA