--- Ji Su's Point of View ---
After the phone call with Yoongi, I heard Jin leave the room and slam the door. I slowly opened the door to see if he was really gone and thankfully he was. I quickly went towards the door and locked it.
I had no idea what Yoongi and Jin talked about. All I heard were the little bits that Jin said.From that I knew it didn't go well. I hoped that Yoongi was able to clear things up, but Jin probably hung up before listening to him.
I sighed and began to think of a way to get through to him. Should I write him a letter? I wish I could just glue him to a chair and make him sit there until I explain everything to him. It would be so much easier if he stopped being such a jerk and just shut up and listened! He kept throwing hurtful words at me and making my heart hurt even more.
Was this relationship even salvageable anymore? Was there even a relationship before worth saving?
I proceeded to change out of the big dress I was wearing. I stood a second infront of the mirror admiring the dress. As my last dress of the evening for the dance with Jin, I chose a pink dress. I wanted to impress him, but it seems he didn't even notice I wore this for him. Then I looked at my face stained with tears. This was not how I imagined my wedding day would be like. I never imagined a person could be capable of hurting me over and over again like Jin has.
I quickly took a shower and changed into more comfortable clothes. I left the dress in the room, on the floor because it was too big to leave anywhere else. I sat on the bed and began to wonder what Jin was doing, or if he was still in the house. I wanted to go and check if he was ok, but I didn't feel ready to be verbally abused again, so I just sat there.
During the wedding Jin had been so gentle, had looked so happy, had smiled from ear to ear, and laughed. I loved hearing him laugh, seeing him look like he was happy he was married to me made my heart flutter a bit. I stole glances whenever I could and made sure he didn't notice. I just kept thinking that I was falling for him even though I wanted to hate him.
A loud crashing noice broke me out of my thoughts.
Did something happen to Jin? Was he ok?
I jumped out of bed and headed to where I thought the noise was coming from. Before I could get to the source, I heard another crash. I realized the noise was coming from the kitchen.
As I ran into the kitchen to see if Jin was ok, I noticed that the crashing noise I heard was from a bottle being thrown and smashed on the floor. They were empty alcohol bottles. He was sitting at the counter drinking from another bottle.
I began to feel scared. If these bottles were empty, that means Jin drank them and must be drunk. If he is a jerk when he is sober, I don't want to imagine how he'll act when he's drunk. I slowly began to walk backwards hoping to escape before Jin saw me. I wanted to get to the room and lock myself in it. I needed to be safe.
As I walked backwards, I accidentally bumped into a chair and knocked it over. Jin turned around and saw me.
"Hello there, guess you decided to finally leave the bathroom. Were you afraid that I went to find your little boyfriend after the call? Is that why you left the bathroom? huh?" He said in a mocking tone as he got up and started walking towards me.
His words stung, and hurt me. I had rushed down to check on him, to make sure he wasn't harming himself, yet I'm accused of being unfaithful. I was frozen in my spot and just looked down as I contemplated what to do.
"Yah, look at me when I talk. Why aren't you saying anything? Is it true? You hate me but love him! Is that it Ji Su? You have to talk. You have to say something. You have to!!!!!! If you don't say anything I'll take it as you accepting what I said and have thought as the truth. That your just a little actor who pretended to like me so that your relationship with my best friend stayed hidden. Is that it? Was it fun to break my heart and ruin what I thought we had? Is it? Tell me!!!!!" Jin burst out in desperation as he started walking closer and closer.
I wanted to say something, I wanted to assure Jin I didn't play him, I didn't leave him, I didn't fake my feelings. No matter how much I wanted to talk I was just frozen. I was scared by the look in Jin's eyes. I felt like no matter what I told him he wouldn't believe me, at least not while being drunk. He kept coming closer to me. He looked like he wanted to hurt me. I started to shake when he was less than a foot away from me and stopped.
He picked up the chair I knocked down and sat facing me.
"I said talk for goodness sake. I don't want that to be true. Tell me its not true even if it is!!!! Talk or I'll ............" with that Jin stood up and harshly pushed me against the wall.
"I said tell me its not true!!! SAY IT!!!!!" he screamed in my face.
This had gone far enough. I tried pushing his chest away which only caused him to painfully grab me by the shoulders and push me back against the wall. I stared to feel angry, and irritated by his hurtful grasp which helped me push through the fear that had frozen me before.
"It's not true. YOU came up with that all on your own Jin! I mean wasn't it obvious that after you started courting me and actually treating me like a gentleman that I was no longer indifferent to you? I'm a doctor Jin not an actor! And I am definitely not some cheating, disgusting excuse for a human. Of course I know Yoongi, I am also really close to him. He has been there strung to comfort me after every time you hurt me. He's been there motivating me to not give up on you. van you believe that? He's the one that asked me not to give up on you, he assured me your feelings were genuine. He's been a really good friend to me helping me get through this. Yet you accuse me of having some type of dirty affair with him, the guy who never left your side and made sure I didn't leave yours. Did you know that you stole my first kiss? Did you know that you're the only man that I have kissed? Did you know you the first guy I started to fall for? I bet you didn't because you never gave the chance to tell you this before." I said as tears started to escape my eyes.
"I trusted you. I forgave you for how you acted towards me before. I had agreed to marry you willingly when YOU proposed to ME. I accepted you, and with every sweet and kind action on your behalf I felt my heart beating faster for you. You and only you! I stared to believe in your words. You told your fans you loved me and thought I was amazing! Yet you throw hurtful words at me, take me by the force, and don't even bother to check the facts! You never loved me did you! You never trusted me!"
I couldn't continue. My sobs wouldn't let me continue. I just stood there trapped between Jin's arms and the wall cupping my face crying. I had said all that I have been holding in for a while. I knew it was no use. He wouldn't believe me, he probably thinks I'm lying to him. I dint know what to do to make him believe me.
I calmed down a bit, and looked up when I felt Jin's hands that were pinning me to the wall begin to shake.
He was crying. Tears fell down his beautiful eyes as he stood there facing the floor.
I wanted to hug him, to tell him we would be ok, that this would work out if he just believed me, but I couldn't. I was too hurt. This short relationship had been my first. In this short time I experienced the sweetness of love, but that was overshadowed by all the pain and anguish he made me go through. I knew that this marriage happened because of my family, but I had never played him, or lied to him.
"I'm ................ I'm ................ sorry. It's just I................ You guys seemed so close. You defended him............. I just ............." He said in between sobs.
"This is what I've been afraid of. How can I prove to you that I like you. That I fell for you like an idiot, and even though you've caused me heart ache I still can't hate you. I hate myself for liking you. I'm not so sure about your feeling towards me, but I .............. I love you. " I was barely able to finish when I broke out crying again.
Jin was shocked by my words and so was I. I had never admitted I loved him.
"Let me prove to you that I also love you, my wife." He said as he gently took my head into his hands and pressed his lips onto mine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 3?
❤️ ❤️ ❤️