[funny, Sarada, fluff]
"No... This can't be... But... Why?!" Sasuke stared at the note in his hands.
Good morning, Sasuke!
Sorry I couldn't be here when you woke. I was sent on an important mission early this morning and I didn't want to wake you. Please don't be mad. I left some breakfast for you, hopefully it's still warm. Good luck today, and don't forget to feed Sarada. I left some bottles in the fridge.
Love you!
Sakura
"No..." Sasuke glanced over at the crib in their bedroom, "wait, today's laundry day..." He flipped the note over and groaned.
PS, sorry, I didn't have time to do the laundry. Either you wait until tomorrow or you may learn to do it yourself.
"Hm..." Sasuke chewed on the breakfast Sakura'd made him as he read the newspaper. He dropped his chopsticks and dialed a number on his phone.
A loud yawn greeted him, followed by a groggy 'hello'.
"Naruto. I need help."
"Sasuke? Why so early..."
"It's ten in the morning."
Sasuke heard something that sounded like the phone being dropped, "wh-what?! Oh man, I fell asleep, again. "
"Do you think you can come over?"
"Huh? Sasuke, I'm the Hokage now. I don't have time to--"
"It's an S-Rank mission."
"Sasuke! Deal with it yourself!"
"No... Ah..." Sasuke glanced back at the sleeping baby in the other room, "Sakura left me home alone with Sarada."
"What makes you think I'd have any idea on what to do?!"
"Just come over, Dobe. Even just a shadow clone."
"Fine, fine." The Uzumaki hung up.
As long as you stay asleep... Sasuke softly set his dishes in the sink and turned the faucet on. You won't wake up...
Then the doorbell went off.
"Naruto!" Sasuke yelled with a hushed tone as soon as he opened the door, "be quiet!"
"What? Yeesh, sorry your doorbell's so loud..." Naruto muttered as he stepped in and took his shoes off, "so where is Sakura?"
"I don't know. As Hokage, you should know that." Sasuke glared at him as he made his way back into the kitchen, "you're the one that sent her on that mission, aren't you?"
"Oh yeah!" Naruto grinned, "yeah, that's right. As the top medic nin, we needed her on this mission."
"I don't know how to take care of a baby all on my own." Sasuke muttered as he sat on the floor next to Sarada's crib, which he'd dragged out into the living room as carefully as he could.
"Well." Naruto crossed his arms, "we know that if you screw this up, Sakura's gonna kill you, you know?"
Sasuke gulped at the image.
"You WHAT?! You dropped our child out the window?! Sasuke, I can never forgive you! I hate you! You know what? I'm moving in with my parents, and I'm taking Sarada with me."
"Ngh..." Sasuke rubbed his forehead, "I can't do this..."
"It's okay." Naruto went through the fridge, "at least she left these bottles. When she starts crying, you can feed her."
"Uh-huh..." Sasuke tapped his chin.
"And hopefully..." Naruto chuckled, "Sakura gets back before Sarada drops the bomb."
"May I remind you, you're the one that... Wait, the bomb?"
"I've only had to do it twice, but..." Naruto shivered, "has Sakura ever taught you how to change a diaper?"
"Oh, hell no..." Sasuke covered his face, "should I just hire Hinata or Ino to come over, and..."
"Sorry, Sasuke. You're going to have to learn it at one point, anyways." Naruto shrugged, "but take advantage of this, while Sarada's sleeping."
"Of what?"
"This peace and quiet."
Hm... Sasuke stared at the ceiling, then looked over at Sarada when he heard her starting to whimper, "sh, Naruto, don't do any--"
Too late.
Sarada burst into tears and cried.
"Oi, Sasuke! Do something!"
"Ah..." Sasuke stood up, walked over to the crib, and picked her up, "shh, it's okay, Sarada... Mama will be home soon, don't worry... Sleep until she gets back..."
"Here." Naruto ran over with a bottle.
"You idiot!" Sasuke felt the bottle, "it's still cold!"
"What?!" Naruto took the bottle back, "oh, that's right, babies like warm milk..."
"Not too hot, though..." Sasuke rocked Sarada as she continued to scream and hit Sasuke's chest.
"Erm..." Naruto felt the milk, "urgh, too hot..."
"Naruto!"
"Sorry, sorry. T-try burping her!"
"Burping?"
"Yeah, pat her back until she burps! It works with Boruto!"
Sasuke tried to position her in the crook of his elbow so he could hold her and pat her back at the same time, "you promise she won't throw up on me, right? This is my last shirt, and I don't know how to do laundry."
"Huh, I don't either..." Naruto chuckled, "Just gotta be careful, I guess." He checked the milk again just as they heard the doorbell again. Naruto ran to get it this time, "huh? Sai, what're you doing here?"
"I came to see Sakura." He stared at Naruto, "what are you doing here?"
"Ah, Sakura's not here, and I'm helping Sasuke with Sarada." Naruto called as he ran back to the kitchen, Sai following close behind.
"Sai?" Sasuke blinked a few times, "what are--"
"Are you okay?"
Sasuke rolled his eyes, "no, I'm perfectly fine, how could you tell?"
"Perfect!" Naruto screwed the lid onto the bottle and ran over to Sasuke, "here ya go, Sarada!"
She sucked on the bottle for a few seconds, then grabbed the bottle on her own and continued to drink the milk.
"Ah....Thanks." Sasuke groaned as he sat down on a chair nearby.
"Do you two know how to take care of children?" Sai looked at them.
"Not really..." Naruto wiped his forehead, "Hinata does it all while I'm working..."
"Me too." Sasuke sighed, "I should probably help Sakura around the house, more..."
"Hey!" Naruto stood up and took Sarada from Sasuke, "I've got Sarada all covered, you should go do the laundry for Sakura!"
"What?"
"Imagine how happy she'd be if she came home and everything was already done!"
Sasuke shut his eyes.
"What? Darling, you did it all? The laundry, the cleaning, you even made supper? Sasuke, you're the best! I love you so much! How should I reward you, tonight?"
He smirked and nodded, "let's do that."
"But..." Sai pointed at his arm, "when I watch Ino around the house, she normally needs two arms to do the chores, including the cleaning, laundry, and cooking..."
Sasuke looked down at his loose left sleeve and glared at Sai.
"He's got us!" Naruto grinned as he rocked Sarada, "don't worry, Sarada. Uncle Naruto and Uncle Sai won't let anything happen to you!"
"Oh please..." Sasuke's brow twitched in annoyance. He sighed, then lifted his two fingers, and two shadow clones of himself appeared, "alright."
One clone went around the house with a duster, another stayed with Naruto and Sarada, and the real Sasuke went to the laundry room with Sai.
"Uh..." Sai rubbed his chin as he and Sasuke examined an owner's manual, "you need detergent."
"Where does she keep that..." They glanced around and went through the cabinets, reading all the labeled bottles, "I think I've seen it. It's green."
"This?" Sai examined a bottle as he held it out to Sasuke, "it's green."
"Yeah. It says detergent on it." Sasuke took the bottle, "now we need to fill it here, to the line?"
"I would assume so." Sai replied as he shoved the dirty clothes into the washer, until a certain undergarment caught his attention, "huh. Is this Sakura's? It's so small."
Sasuke glared at him as he grabbed the bra from Sai's hands and threw it in, "will you stop looking at my wife's bra?!"
"Sorry." Sai chuckled as he shut the door, "does she add some sort of bleach?"
"Hm..." Sasuke turned back to the manual, "I don't think so... The load is mostly darks..."
"Then I guess not." Sai pressed a few buttons on the machine and hit 'start'.
"Good deal." Sasuke nodded as he and Sai headed out, "now... Food..."
"Hey, Sasuke..." Naruto chuckled, "ah, the food might have to wait..."
"Naruto, what'd you do this... Oh mercy, no... Please tell me... You farted, Naruto..."
Sai smiled, "I smell it, alright."
"Sarada..." Sasuke groaned as he took Sarada from Naruto.
"Okay, men." Naruto stood up, lips pursed, "we have to go into this war, together."
"But..." Sai crossed his arms, "do we really know how?"
"That's why we're all going together. Got it?"
Sasuke led them to the bedroom, where Naruto laid out a towel, then he laid Sarada down, "okay. Guys... I need another hand, here..."
The three men swallowed hard. The deed had to be done, for the sake of Sakura Uchiha.
_____________
"Sasuke, Sarada, I'm home!" Sakura called later that afternoon, "I'm sorry that mission took longer than I thought. But then again, it's an S-Rank mission... Wow!"
As soon as she glanced around the house, everything was cleaner and neater than when she left it, "Sasuke?" She walked into the living room and covered her mouth. She found Sai, Naruto, and Sasuke sleeping all over the floor, Sarada sleeping on Sasuke's chest.
"Oh my..." She laughed, "Naruto? Sai? What the heck are you two doing here?"
"Eh...?" Naruto yawned drowsily, "Sakura... Hey, you're back! Ah, Sasuke needed some help with everything."
"You bet he needed it." Sai yawned heavily, "well, we'll be off, then. It's pretty late."
"Thank you for your help, guys." Sakura smiled.
"No problem." Sai waved as he headed out the door, "I'll see myself out."
"See ya, Sakura!" Naruto grinned as he vanished in a cloud of smoke.
"Ha. Now what do I do about you?" Sakura smirked as she crossed her arms and looked down at Sasuke and Sarada, still sleeping on the floor. She went to the bedroom, grabbed a blanket and pillow, placed the pillow under Sasuke's head, laid down next to them, and covered all three of them with the blanket, "thank you, Sasuke." She grinned at his sleeping face, then leaned in and kissed him before leaning on his shoulder and falling asleep, "I love you."
Sasuke's lips slowly lifted into a small smile as he snaked his arm around his wife and pulled her closer. Love you, too, Sakura.
•••
Written by xX_Fang_Xx