chapter six
hello, my name is...
mia pov
trigger warnings: mention of anxiety
"We have some bad news..." Chris told me, during lunch on Monday, with Susan.
"What?" I asked, expecting it to be a dead end on The Connor Project research. Of course, I was expecting this, mostly because I had hit a ton of dead ends.
"Aidan's dating Kendall..." Susan said, "I heard it from CeCe this morning..."
"Oh, I don't care," I replied, bluntly, "I've been over that for a while..."
"You sure?" Chris asked.
"One-Hundred Percent..." I replied. To be honest, I had gotten over Aidan a long while back. I guess Susan and Chris didn't think I was. I didn't mind though. I guess without my old crush on Aidan, my friends couldn't recommend the apple orchard to me, and I wouldn't have learned about Connor... I got to learn a little bit about my father because of it, so I guess I don't have any regrets or anything.
"Okay... I just wanted to make sure..." Chris said.
"Well, I got over him the longest time ago, so I think I'll be fine" I replied, with a slight giggle.
"Anyways, on a happier note, I got some more information about the Connor Project on my blog..." Chris told me.
"You do realize I could've asked my aunt about all this right?" Susan told us.
"Yeah, but my source confirmed that The Connor Project page got deleted,"
"Okay, well why did it get deleted?" I asked.
"I asked the source that this morning, but they haven't gotten back with me yet," Chris said, "I mean, whatever the reason is, I don't want to make your aunt uncomfortable or anything... Usually when it gets deleted, it's not a good reason..."
"Okay, but whenever you hit rock bottom, and you can't find anything, let me know..." Susan told us.
"I could've asked my dad too, but that would probably make him uncomfortable..." I said.
"Doesn't your dad have like... anxiety or something?" Chris asked.
"I think so... I mean, he's kind of a counselor for people who have anxiety, so I guess he might've had it at some point..." I replied. I usually don't like telling my friends about this stuff. I feel a bit like I'm betraying my father, if I tell my friends about him, especially his mental health struggles. I worry about him constantly, and I just hope he's okay, though I don't know how to help.
"Well, anyways, I'm hoping I'll find out why the page was deleted this week," Chris said.
"That's good. We're one step closer to figuring it all out!" I replied. I was honestly really happy to learn all of this. I was learning more about my dad than what he or my grandma would . I don't know if that was a legitimate reason to be happy about this, but I was, nonetheless.
"Do you think that maybe you can find your mom through this?" Susan asked.
"I mean, I haven't really thought about it. I mean, my dad told me she left, so I just assumed that she lives like... super far away... Maybe she dies, I don't know..." I replied.
"I mean, she could be alive or something... I she's probably not that far... Maybe it's that one guy's sister... Didn't they go out or something?" Susan asked.
"I mean, maybe... My grandma said that some stuff went down his senior year, but I'm starting to think that it had more to do with The Connor Project, than with me..." I replied.
"Well, maybe if your dad won't say anything, then you could go to your Grandma?" Chris suggested.
☼☼☼
Since it was Tuesday, my dad had a late night at work. He had later sessions on Tuesdays, rather than usual nights. Dad usually got home around 7:45 on Tuesdays, and I didn't mind that much. That Tuesday, though, I decided to visit my grandma.
Grandma didn't live too far away from where I lived. She still lived in the house that my dad grew up in. It was a smaller house, but it was just the two of them. I liked visiting my grandma, though I didn't do it very often.
I rang the doorbell, and kind of awkwardly stood there, before my grandma got the door.
"Mia! I didn't expect you to come over!" Grandma said excitedly. I smiled, and we both gave each other a hug, before Grandma invited me in, "So how's school and everything going?" she asked.
"It's going..." I replied, with a slight laugh, "I'm just trying to enjoy my last year of high school as much as I can..."
"That's good... Do you know when the next show choir performance is? I know you quit and all, but I just love watching them perform..." my grandma asked.
"I think it's in September..." I replied, "I'm probably going to go, too, just to support Susan..."
"Well, that's nice of you..." my grandma said. It was always nice to visit my grandma. In a way, she was kind of like my mom. I didn't really see her as much as I wanted, but she was aways there for me if I needed it.
"Grandma, I have a question..." I said, regretting it as soon as the words slipped out of my mouth.
"Yeah?" Grandma asked. I could totally trust her with this, right? I mean, she told me stuff about dad before, so it shouldn't be that bad.
"Well, I mean, I haven't really like... thought about this since I was a little kid, but I've been thinking about it... and I'm kind of wondering where my mom is? You don't have to tell me who she was or anything, but I mean, is she like in the state, is she in another country, is she alive?"
Grandma chuckled a little bit, "Well, I mean, I haven't talked to her in the longest time, so I'm not sure if I can answer that correctly... But last time I checked, she's alive, and in-state..." my grandma told me. I smiled a small smile, "But don't you go stalking her or anything,"
"I won't... I don't even know her name..." I laughed.
"Okay... Because I don't want you to cause any trouble..." Grandma said.
"I won't," I reassured her.
We spend around an hour talking, mostly about things going on in our lives. I didn't really tell her about The Connor Project or anything. I didn't know if she knew anything about it, but I had already asked her about my mom. I didn't want to add to the fact that I was learning more about my family history. I not to ask a million questions at once... I didn't want to overwhelm Grandma or anything.
When I got home, it was a little before five, so I kind of worked on my homework for a while, trying to get my mind off of The Connor Project, and my mom.
At least I know she's alive and she live nearby, I thought, I think that's enough...
☼☼☼
evan pov
That night, before I decided to attempt to go to sleep, I decided to go through the drawer on my nightstand. I always told myself that I would clean it out, but I never did. There was some change, random papers, some drawings from Mia when she was younger,
and a notebook.
The notebook was at the bottom of the drawer. It was a small composition notebook. The cover wasn't labeled by anything, but I knew what it was for. There were random doodles and things on the cover, and I knew full well who drew them. Mostly stars and planets, and a few smiley-faces here and there. I couldn't help but smile at the purple Sharpie doodles over the black speckles.
I opened the notebook to the front page. On the top, "Names" was written in beautiful cursive handwriting. Mia's mom liked doing cool hand-lettering sometimes, and this small notebook was full of it.
"Okay, boy names..." Mia's mom started out. She had just finished writing out the title on the top of the page...
"I definitely think that 'Connor' should be one..." I replied.
"Somehow, I knew you were going to say that..." Mia's mom slightly laughed, as she wrote it down, "How do you feel about Lucas?"
"I like it..." I replied., "How about Logan? Or maybe Caleb?"
"I'm liking those..." She wrote all three names down.
We went back and forth, trying to figure out names for if we had a boy. In the end, we had Connor, Caleb, Lucas, Logan, Ben, Mike/Michael, and Will.
"If I had to be completely honest, though, I think we should stick with Connor as our first choice..." Mia's mother said.
"I agree..." I replied, "After everything that's happened with him, and both of our... experiences, with Connor, I think that the least we can do is name our son after him..."
She circled Connors name, which was at the top of the list for boys names.
"And girls names?" she asked.
"I'm sorry, but IdontknowhowIfeelaboutConnie..." I started off.
"Connie for a first name doesn't sound right... It feels like we're pushing the whole 'Connor Tribute' thing... I'm keeping it in mind for a middle name..."
"Did we figure out a middle name for a boy?" I asked.
"Oh, I don't think we did... Connor Ben? Connor Michael? Connor Logan?" she listed off.
"I'm thinking either Connor Michael or Connor Logan" I replied. Mia's mother circled Michael and Logan for middle names, and labeled the., so we knew that they would be middle names. "Okay, now girl names..." She started.
"Maybe Willow?" I suggested.
"Evan, I'm not naming my daughter after a tree..." she chucked.
"I'm sorry..." I apologized, as she slightly laughed and wrote the name down, "Maybe Hope?" I suggested, instead.
"Hope is cute..." she replied, "I like Laura too..."
"Laura's good... I like Laura... How do you feel about Mia?" I asked.
"Mia's adorable... I really like that one..."
We eventually came up with a few more girls names, until we ended up with Willow, Hope, Laura, Mia, Kristolyn, Rachel, and Jenny. We ended up being in between Laura Connie or Mia Connie, and for a boy, Connor Michael or Connor Logan. We decided that we would keep these in mind, until we found out if we were having a girl or a boy.
We, eventually found out that we were having a girl (obviously). We went back and forth for a while, and as you can guess, we decided on Mia.
Mia Connie Hansen.
Author's Note
Not going to lie, BIG reveals are coming during next week's updates... I'm super excited!