"No, Eonni, I didn't get the shipment that the company was sent to me. Was that to my old address? ...I'm sorry! I already changed it in the national registry. They must have sent it before I got it changed."
I stood over the stove, my phone wedged between my shoulder and my cheek. In front of me was a pan of frying bacon, so I couldn't afford to let it burn. Bacon was hard to get in Korea.
I pulled at the robe I had wrapped around myself. "No, Eonni, I'm making breakfast right now. I'll be there as soon as I can. No, actually, I'm in quite a good mood. Yup. See you soon. Ish." I hung up, setting the phone on the counter, adding, "maybe."
Hands wrapped around my waist, and I felt his head on my shoulder. "Breakfast?" Zhou Mi asked, looking at the food already set aside.
"When I woke up you were still asleep, so I figured I'd better do some cleanup... since there was quite a mess left last night..." I snickered, letting the bacon go for just a second to kiss him, smiling to myself.
"I started to, but I got... distracted." He let go of my waist, leaning against the counter.
I laughed, taking some pieces off of the skillet. "I regret nothing."
He laughed, taking one of the pieces and blowing on it. "Nothing? Nothing at all?"
"Nope. Nothing whatsoever. By the way... Happy Birthday, Zhou Mi," I said under my breath, turning away and laughing a little.
He froze, his mouth open, and then looked at his phone's calendar. Sure enough, April 19th.
I laughed a while, bringing the bacon and waffles to the table. "You forgot, didn't you?"
"My own birthday? Of course I didn't--"
"You forgot. You got distracted." I stuck my tongue out at him, still laughing. "You should probably put a shirt on, though. I mean, we both have to go to work. And I probably shouldn't be in public wearing just a bathrobe..."
~
I arrived at my now for-rent apartment, collecting the box of stuff that had arrived at my door. My new shipment of nail polish, in remarkable, vibrant colors. Of course. Those were my favorites. Aside from advertising for it, I quite liked the company. They actually made good polish.
I put it in my car's trunk (nothing special, just something Kangin let me have for a discount price after I won a bet against him and he was getting a new car), then looked at my watch. I had some time yet before I had to go to the radio station, now that my pick-up mission was done. Maybe I could--
My phone rang before I could finish that thought. It was Jung Ah, of course.
"Minsung, you're not busy for the next few hours, are you?"
I deflated, but was in too good of a mood that day to turn her down. "No, I'm not. What you got, Eonni?"
She seemed a bit surprised that I took the question so well, because she hesitated before she began. "Well, if you can, try to come to the company in the next half an hour. We have an offer from some Asian travel agencies that the company thinks you should take. Oh, and they're wondering when you're going to start working on your new album."
"Today," I answered with a grin.
"...today?"
"Yeah. Today. I'm feeling particularly inspired today."
She hesitated again. "Minsung, are you... okay? You seem abnormally... happy... today."
"Oh, of course! I'm fine! I'm walking on clouds! I'm dancing in the rain and ready to sing at the top of my lungs! Why, is that weird?"
More silence. "Just get here in the next half hour, alright? You're making me feel uncomfortable."
She hung up, and I laughed, spreading my arms to the sky, letting the spring sunshine wash over me.
~
I was in such a good mood that I had no hesitation to take pictures with some fans waiting outside the company, making duck faces with them and listening to their messages of encouragement, even giving a fanboy a kiss on the cheek because he wanted one.
By the time I made it to the meeting room, I was already humming tunes in my head, trying to figure out possible lyrics. I plopped down in the chair next to Jung Ah, grinning up at her. She looked wonderfully disturbed.
"Minsung, we're aware that you have no intention of going back to the United States, but some Asian travel companies are wondering if they could use your popularity in the States to make a promotional music video for their campaign, to encourage tourism in the countries? We were thinking of using your song "See You In Asia". From your mini-album?"
I nodded. "I would love to. I've been a bit lazy lately, I must admit."
Even Snow Leopard Lady looked shocked. "You have no opposition at all?"
I shrugged, smiling. "I am 100 percent fine with it. It sounds like fun."
She snapped her jaw shut, nodding. "Well... alright then. Here is the information for it... and that is all. You can... go to your work now."
She waved us out, and Jung Ah waited until we were outside to ask me what drugs I was taking.
"Drugs? I don't take drugs. Well, birth control, but you know about that already. Oh, and benadryl to help me sleep, when I'm feeling stuffy. And Claritin, so I can sing during the day. But I have to admit, birth control was a great idea..."
I looked up at her, satisfied when I saw her eyes widen to the size of American half-dollars. "You didn't."
"I did. I was feeling selfless last night. Felt like giving things away. 'Taking one's virginity' isn't a very accurate term, I don't think. Unless it's rape, I don't think of it as taking. I just kind of... gave it. Like a present."
She stared at me for a really long time, her jaw hanging open. "And you feel absolutely no remorse for this at all?!"
I giggled. "Nope. It was all great fun, actually."
She held back a gag, clutching her throat. "Ew. Just... ew. I really didn't want to know that."
"You asked."
She shuddered, stepping away from me. "Yes, yes I did. And I very much regret that."
I laughed again. "Now is that all, Eonni? Or can I go to the composition room and try to get down this tune that's running through my head?"
She made a face, waving me away. "Y-yeah, just go. I think I'm going to go to the bathroom and puke."
~
April came and went, and I was met with the shocking information that Henry was dating a fangirl.
"Are you serious?!" I asked him, freezing in the hallway.
He shrugged. "I met her in Taiwan. She was doing one of those flash mob things. Pretty awesome, actually..."
I shrieked and hugged him. "Oh, Mochi, you have a girl! An ELF, a String! Is she pretty?"
"I think so."
"Big eyes?"
"Yeah, I guess..."
"Talented?"
"She can play the cello pretty well."
"Nice! So when can I meet her?!"
He froze. "Meet her?"
"What? She's an ELF! You get to approve of my boyfriend, but I don't get to approve of your girlfriends? You're getting old, Mochi! Time to find romance!"
He shook his head. "Okay, fine. But you can't tell anyone."
"Great! Hey, see you tonight. I have to go to the radio station. And then it's off to film for "See You In Asia."
He made a face. "You're leaving, aren't you?"
"Yeah. After I film in Seoul I move on to Japan, Beijing and Hong Kong. Kind of reminds me of Twelve. But I guess that was the idea..."
"How long?"
"Only a few weeks, tops. I'll be taking a lot of plane rides, but since it's for a travel company's commercials... well, and Samsung... anyway, they've been getting bad press ever since the whole Malaysian jet thing a few years ago. So I'm working for them for the project."
"But that's tomorrow, right?"
"Right. I'll still be here tonight. Unless you want me to go to Taiwan and visit your girlfriend..."
"Are you blackmailing me?!"
I smiled at him, then reached up and pinched his cheeks. "Of course I am, Henry. You should know that by now. I have blackmail material on everyone in this company. I'm not just a scary person because I'm strong. It's because I use my brain. What is Henry Lau scared of more than anything?"
His eyes went wide, but I was already taking off down the hallway, laughing to myself.
~
"Alright, everyone, final viewing. Great job, Queen Be. I think it looks great," the director said, giving me a thumbs-up. We were still in Beijing, and the editors had done a fantastic job of putting everything together while we were still filming.
My only instructions in the video had been to "look like I was having fun." Except at the beginning, where I was being filmed in an American-looking apartment, eating a TV dinner and watching television, looking extremely bored. Everything else had been an elegant swirl of modern city life mixed with traditional beauty, like the palaces in Seoul, Beijing, and Kyoto. I'd even filmed on the Great Wall. I'd gone to restaurants and eaten food, all the while on camera, the crew all laughing when I messed around, not getting upset.
And the whole video, I just looked like a teenager on a vacation. Which I guess was the point. Except that I wasn't a teenager.
"Getting tired of TV dinners,
hamburgers and french fries?
Wasting away in the same everyday routine,
waiting for some kind of change in your lives?
I'm aching for the taste of the East,
spicy chicken and white rice,
Dancing cities, enjoying the night life
Across the world, wouldn't that be nice?!
See you where the wall splits the land,
where the mountains tower into the sky,
where the cherry trees bloom and
the world is old and new,
and it never occurs to you to wonder why.
Open your eyes to the other half of the world.
Dance in the streets of the cities of the East,
enjoy the sounds, experience the flavor,
feel the new ancient world, at least!
You know that's where I'm going,
the curious will go, too.
So see you in Asia!
Thousands of lights in the dark of the night,
spinning, whirling across the highways,
not just a tourist attraction,
it could be a place to find your own ways.
Make the newest phone in the Seoul of Asia,
design games and cars where the sun rises,
Start a business in the heart of the Middle Kingdom,
the world of the East is full of surprises!
See you where history began,
and where the people dance to their own beat.
It's not so different, but it's not at all the same,
and they're some of the greatest people you'll ever meet!
But you won't know until you see it for yourself.
Go and experience, experiment and explore.
Feel the heartbeat of the land of the East,
the history, the technology, the music, and more!
See it for yourself, feel it for yourself.
There's so much to learn.
And if you want to really know the world,
then I say to you,
See you in Asia!
See you in Asia~
See you in China,
See you in Japan,
See you in Korea.
Show you 'round Vietnam and Taiwan,
Explore the jungle of Thailand.
See you there,
See. You. There!
See you in Asia!"
~
I was laughing the entire time, how strange I looked, how big my eyes were, how completely opposite everything was to the dark, dingy feel of Twelve. But, I guess that was the whole point. Twelve had made life in Asia look dark, dismal, and hopeless. It had been a movie so successful that travel to those parts of the world had probably dropped, since it had brought out the more negative parts of life in Asia.
The video, on the other hand, was brightly colored and full of life, a complete 180 from the pain depicted in Twelve. I think maybe that's why the movie had become so popular. It was something people could identify with. They looked at the lives of the characters and felt for them. There were kids growing up on the streets everywhere. True, they generally didn't grow rat tails and use magic, but the idea was there. Seeing it gave Americans a sense of security, thinking, "well, our cities aren't that bad." Even though they are. Detroit, anyone?
But "See You In Asia" was the polar opposite, designed to show people the good points of the continent, of the hope in the lifestyle. It counteracted the effects of Twelve, using me as that outlet. And I was okay with that. After all, people were probably thinking, "If Asia is so bad, then why does Queen Be want to live there?" This was why. There are two sides to every coin, and it wasn't fair if you never saw anything but the Tails side.
Still, it seemed amusing to watch myself in all of those places, looking like a bit of a dork. But I guess I was. A bit. Maybe a lot.
~
"No, I'm packing right now," I said into the phone to Zhou Mi, cradling it against my shoulder while I folded clothes into my suitcase. "Is Ni Qiu getting along with KyuMin?"
"Always worried about the animals. Aren't you worried about me?"
I laughed. "Why should I worry about you? I don't see myself cleaning your litter box."
"No, you wouldn't do that for me."
"I do miss you very much, though, Mimi. Almost as much as my cat."
"Almost?"
"Okay, maybe a teensy bit more."
"I think I can handle that. Are you ready for this July?"
I felt my hand tighten around the phone when I was reminded of the impending, carefully-chosen date. July. For most of my life, August had held the most appeal, being my birthday and all, since December was too cold to be ideal. August had always meant parties and presents, family and friends, going swimming and fishing in my pond. But this year, "July" was a single word that could send all of my nerves soaring. Like the word itself was charged with electricity.
"Ready? I'm totally ready. Are you?"
"You have to come back to Korea first," he mentioned, and I felt a laugh escape my lips.
"I'll get to work on that right away, Mr. Zhou. I'll be on a plane as soon as I can."
"I'll be waiting."
I wanted to squeal, but held it in until at least I'd hung up the phone. At least that long. And then I fell back onto the hotel bed, kicking my feet in the air.
~
Time sped by like it was on fast-forward. The public was devastated when they found out about the engagement, and about the impending wedding. They were shocked when it was revealed that we'd been dating, not for a few months, but for a few years. Suspicion had always been present, but no confirmation.
After the initial impact, the congratulations came pouring in. Every day I received fanmail and opened it, loving all of the presents that people sent the two of us. Drawings of the two of us together, or even Zhou Mi, Henry and I, and decorations to put on my mantle, even small toys for my cat and Zhou Mi's dog.
In addition to the fans came the outpouring of support from my sunbaes and friends. If by "support" you meant "endless teasing."
The Wisconsin Girls all lamented that I was the youngest and getting married first. Tiffany made jokes about being an old woman. Heechul told me that I was going to start actually being a woman. Key joked that I wouldn't wear jewelry anymore. Amber asked me when the baby would be coming.
None of them, though, held a candle to the little prank that Min Hee had decided to play.
I went into the radio station to DJ, as usual, this time actually dressed in nicer clothing, since this was one of the days that I'd actually be filmed. When I walked in, I found the station floor covered in little pink paper hearts, and a big red one was taped to the computer screen. No notes, nothing. I wondered what was up. Min Hee had been gone before I got there, so I couldn't ask her.
"Hello, DJ Queen Be here! Everything looks weird. Does anyone know about how all of this pink got here? Anyone?" None of the staff answered, so I got more suspicious.
"Umm, anyway, thank you for listening to Arirang radio. For all our international listeners out there, this is your radio station." I flipped through the notepad in front of me, for what had been done by the previous DJ. "Has anyone answered DJ Min Hee's question challenge?"
Every day, there was a new daily challenge about current events in Asian entertainment, and if no one answered it during Min Hee's time period, they finished during mine. If they had, I had a separate daily challenge question.
I opened the calls, putting the phone right next to the speaker.
"Hello?" I asked to the caller.
"Hello, DJ Queen Be?"
"What's your name?"
"Karina."
"And where are you from?"
"I'm from Hong Kong."
"Do you have an answer for today's daily challenge, Karina?"
"I do. But first, would you mind answering a question?"
"Of course."
"How do you feel about getting married in a little over a month?"
I fell back in my chair, covering my face with my hands. "OH MY GOD I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!" I squealed, turning once again into a pile of goop.
I learned later that Min Hee had set up the whole thing, when she'd been asked to talk about how he felt about me being engaged to be married. Apparently she'd said, "Oh, I think they make a brilliant couple. Really. I don't think you'd find two idols so completely wrapped up in each other, it makes you want to feel sick. Honestly, everyone thinks Queen Be's so tough. She's not. All you have to do is remind her that she's going to get married, and she'll turn into a puddle of goo in an instant. I promise you. Just try it when she comes on here. I swear, it works every time."
Curse her. She knows everything.
After I recovered from my brief lifetime as a puddle of mush, they actually sent in answers to the daily question, and I went on through the broadcast.
"And DJ Queen Be has a new album out! Yaaaaaaayyyy!!! Everyone listening to Arirang Radio, please support my new album, Be the Queen, and its main track, 'Don't Ever Call Me Baby'! Please, please, please listen to it and support me and my fiance. Thank you all, and listen in tomorrow!"
I waved to the producers, stepping out of the recording booth to hear one of them ask, "Hey, Queen Be, how do you feel about getting married?"
I turned pink, and ran out of there with my hands over my face, squealing like a little girl.
~
June came and went, a swirl of activities for a new album, and arranging things in Hawaii without even actually being there. I had dresses to pick out, fittings to do, and people to contact.
And all the while, I felt myself a bit overwhelmed by the whole thing. It was real, it was happening. I came home every night almost completely exhausted, working on a drama, an album, and being a radio DJ.
I wondered, sometimes, if that would our life together would be like. Rotating comebacks, one of us almost always coming home exhausted, switching places as soon as one set of promotions was done. If he wasn't exhausted, I was.
Still, that was the relationship we had always had. Sneaking in moments when we could, waiting for the next time I would get to see him. I was happy just to wake up next to him in the morning.
I spent several nights painting the walls of our living room, painting a pattern of the gold light of a sunset over an ocean, swirling gold paint through the blue to make it look like waves crashing against the shore. It was a nice combination of light and dark, I thought, and it made me feel warm and happy.
Our house was quickly starting to feel like home, with the furniture moved into place and our trophies together on the mantlepiece. It was a wonderful, beautiful place, and I loved it.
But before I knew it, we were on the plane to Hawaii, everything ready, not a thing out of place. My family was coming. I was getting married.
I was getting married.
~
It was July 1st, a few days before the date had been set, and we had arrived early to make sure everything was in the proper order. Some people were saying that I had set the wedding in Hawaii just to show off my wealth. Of course not. I was spending as little as I could while still satisfying all involved parties. Hawaii just happened to be in the middle of the Pacific, making it a good midway point between both families. Not to mention part of my family lived in Hawaii.
As a matter of fact, Aunty Jackie had helped a great deal in making the plans themselves. Not funding-wise, of course; I covered a lot of that, but she helped me arrange things that were difficult while I was overseas.
When I arrived at the airport, she was waiting for me with a big sign and an even bigger hug. Then she turned right to Zhou Mi and gave him one, too.
"Welcome back to the islands, Dear! Oh, goodness, you chose a good one, Melissa." She looked up at him, smiling so widely her face crinkled at the edges. "Oh yes, I knew this would happen, I knew it, I knew it! Ever since you kissed my niece in my backyard."
He turned pink all the way to his ears. "Y-you saw that?!"
She laughed, a big, hearty laugh that could warm even the coldest heart. "Yes, I saw. I was looking out the window, washing dishes, and I remember how shocked Melissa looked. But I didn't tell a soul. I wanted to know how it turned out. And I'm glad I did! Oh, I have chicken skin!"
She shivered with excitement, and I laughed, loving how completely joyful she was. I let her lead us out of the airport, and out towards the cab that was waiting for us.
~
I ran my fingers over the wood of the chairs, looking around at the carefully decorated venue, thinking that, in a way, it looked like a set. There were no cameras hidden everywhere, but up in the front there was a stage, everyone focused on that one place. Watching me.
It made me happy that I had decided on a private wedding, only family and friends. No paparazzi, no invitations selling for thousands of dollars. There were no more people attending than had attended my second cousin's wedding, back in Wisconsin. I was glad of that.
I had chosen everything, including the simplicity of everything. No flowers decorated the chairs or the aisle. The archway was simple white painted wood. Too much decoration made me feel vain. This wasn't all about me. It was about us. A lot of brides wait for that one day, where they get to wear a big pretty dress, where the whole day is completely about her, and everything is just the way she wants.
I didn't want that. I had already taken a few liberties with the colors of the dresses and bouquets, and that was plenty for me. I had asked my Aunt Tammy to bake the cake, so my Oppas could all taste her wonderful baking skills. She was already working on it in my Aunty Jackie's kitchen, and I was amazed at how quickly the two sides of my family bonded over this. Raising an idol is a big production, I thought. It had taken a lot of people to mold me into the girl that was standing there now. And I think they knew that.
I think it's selfish for girls to dream of that perfect day so much. It's not just about the bride getting the man of her dreams -which doesn't happen very much anymore anyway- but it's about joining families together. In my case, it was Wisconsin and Hawaii, The United States and Asia.
Since that was the case, what kind of person would I be if I made the entire day about me?
"Excuse me, Miss, are you the bride?"
I turned to look at the woman who had spoke, noticing her to be a prim, petite white woman in her mid-forties, hair obviously bleached to hide the presence of gray streaks, since the blonde color didn't look quite natural to her.
Wow, I'd been hanging around Kpop idols too much.
"Yes... that is me." I noticed how she was frowning at my bare feet, and slipped my feet back into my sandals.
She cleared her throat and looked at her clipboard. "We organized everything according to what you described. Is everything to your liking?"
I nodded, smiling meekly. I was feeling a bit faint, all of a sudden.
"Good then. We did wonder at the sparseness of decoration. We thought maybe you simply forgot to request flowers for--"
"No, I like this. What more decoration do I need? Look around you, Ms.--"
"Clearwater."
"Yes. I apologize. Ms. Clearwater, I can see the ocean from where we are. The native flora is in full bloom. I'm quite satisfied with all of the decoration that nature has decided to give me."
She frowned disapprovingly, looking at me from top to bottom, then shook her head and moved off.
I sat down in one of the seats, taking a deep breath to ease the dizziness I was feeling.
"Are you okay?" Zhou Mi asked, sitting down next to me.
I nodded. "Just a bit woozy, that's all. And a bit scared of it all. It was all fun and games when Eliz was on We Got Married, but it's way different when it's actually me, and I'm being watched by everyone. Only it's not a performance. It's my life. It's not fans and publicity; it's just my family. It makes me nervous that I'll screw up. Trip over my skirt and fall out of my dress on my way down the aisle or something."
He laughed, hugging me to him. "If you do, we'll all just laugh at you. It would be something to remember."
I grumbled into his shirt, "Yeah, thanks. That makes me feel so much better."
But it actually did. At least a little.