Outfits: http://www.polyvore.com/19/set?id=117687447
DREAM*****
I was hanging from a cliff, my hands gripped tightly onto the ground above me, I was too weak to hold on any longer. I saw the blue eyes and I was pulled up. I stood up and thanked him. He took a step back and fell off the cliff.
"Pass me your hand!" I exclaimed, he pushed me away and I fell back.
"No I helped you but you didn't give two fucks about me before it was too late!" He exclaimed before he let go and fell to the ground, I dropped onto the floor crying. I'm so stupid. I didn't ask him if he was OK, I didn't ask why he was here in the first place. I didn't care about him, I didn't help him.
I saw the ghostly shape of him and embraced in a hug, slowly he became visible.
"Don't leave me, please?" He asked.
"Never." I replied, I stepped back and saw we were in a bathroom.
"You're going to go, if I show you, aren't you?" He asked, I gave him a confused look and he showed me his wrist, the blood rolled off his arms, I gasped and tried to help.
"No Lily, I helped you get better and you didn't give two fucks about me until it's too late." He screamed before he made me watch him bleed to death. There was nothing left.
I did it again. I was selfish and I didn't ask if he was OK. I'm such an idiot. Everything changed and i was standing around a grave. Hollie, Ashton, Michael, Calum and Luke's family stood around here too. They all turned to look at me. I looked up and read the grave stone.
Luke Robert Hemmings.
1996-2014.
A charming son, dear friend, loving brother and dedicated singer.
Died because Lily Rivers was selfish and only cared for herself.
"IT'S ALL YOU FAULT! YOU SELFISH LITTLE COW! EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS ABOUT YOU!" Michael screamed at me, I stepped backwards and saw Ashton heading towards me, he yelled endless hatred at me and every time I took a step back.
"WE HATE YOU! HATE! HATE! HATE!" They all screamed Ashton pushed my and I fell backwards into a hole.
END OF DREAM*****
I jumped awake on the couch, my jump waking up Tobie and Beanie. Beanie headed back to sleep but Tobie gave me a concerned look. I began crying and Tobie pulled me into a hug.
"I...I'm killing Luke." I cried, Tobie pulled me back and looked at me.
"What?" He asked.
"I...I'm being selfish and I'm not asking Luke if he's OK, I'm hurting him and I haven't made sure he's OK." I cried. Tobie calmed me down and I sat there staring at the wall.
"What happened in your dream?" He asked.
"First Luke helped me up off the edge of a cliff, then he was on the edge and I tried to help him but he told me not to because it's too late. Then he bled to death and made me watch because he said I only gave a fuck because it's too late. Then I was at his grave and everyone was yelling at me saying it's my fault and then I fell into a grave." I muttered.
"OK, calm down, it's probably just a dream." Tobie told me. I nodded and I climbed off the couch.
"I'm taking a shower." I told him, he nodded and I headed upstairs. I hopped into the shower and tried to forget that dream. Once I finished I changed into black jeans, a black jumper, that I have a feeling is Michael's, a blue hoodie and blue ugg boots. I walked downstairs and sat on Tobie.
"Ugh, Lily get off." He laughed. I climbed off and got something to eat, Hollie headed downstairs, she sat at the table and smiled at her phone happily. I went up to her and saw the picture that she was smiling at. It was Ashton's twitter, he tweeted a picture of him holding up a baby grows with the words 'Irwin by name, Irwin by nature' on it. He commented the words. 'For my beautiful children whenever he/she (s) are born.'
"He sent that yesterday." Hollie smiled, I nodded and she put her phone away.
"Aw, I can't wait!" I laughed. She smiled and nodded in agreement. I grabbed my phone and began tweeting.
@LilyRxx: The boys coming back today, can't wait to see my baby again @Luke5SOS Missed him so much, needs him around <3 x
I walked to Tobie and saw him putting his shoes on.
"I'll see you tomorrow." He smiled, I nodded and hugged before seeing him out, I sat on the couch and looked through my mentions.
@MrsStyles_Irwin: @LilyRxx Ugh, you and Luke are gross.
@LilyRxx: @MrsStyles_Irwin I'm gross? I agree. Luke's gross? Take it back! He is bloody perfection, you barely know him, everything isn't about looks!! (But his looks are off the scale anyways!)
I blocked her and reported her, little brat!
I flicked on the TV and watched some shows before I dropped to sleep.
DREAM*****
"Luke?" I asked staring up at him, he looked down at me smiling.
"Yeah?" He replied.
"What's wrong?" I asked him, ever since that argument he's drifted and I hate it. We don't stay up late listening to his music because he's usually sat in the living room talking to the boys from 1D, we don't kiss and cuddle every other minute because he's on his phone or with the boys, we don't go on walks because he's staying in the living room.
"Nothing, why'd you ask?" He replied, I saw the flicker of something in his eyes and from that moment on, I knew.
"You...You don't love me anymore?" I stumbled to get the words out.
"No, of course I don't, who could love you." He asked, chuckling to himself, my body froze and tears fell. My mouth fell open and I looked at him. He's right. Who could love me? I can't even stand myself, how could anyone else stand me. I got up and headed into the bathroom. Luke stood in the door way. I sat on the sink and tried to reach the tablets.
"Here let me help you." He smirked, I nodded and he grabbed the tablets. He poured them into my hand and I sat staring as he told me to take them. I didn't want to.
"Lily?" He asked, his arms shaking me, I gave him a confused look and he shook me, the tablets slipping from my hand.
"Lily, we're late!" He exclaimed, I closed my eyes as the tablets slipped onto the floor. I was so confused.
"LILY!" He screamed.
END OF DREAM****
"LILY!" Someone yelled, my eyes shot open and I saw Hollie staring at me.
"Sorry!" I exclaimed before getting up, she gave me a strange look.
"Are you OK?" She asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine, why'd you wake me up?" I asked her.
"We have to pick up the boys." Hollie smiled. I nodded and headed into the taxi, we drove to the airport and I played on my phone.
@LilyRxx: Gonna pick up the boys <3
We arrived at the airport and I walked in, some fans smiled at me and asked for an autograph or picture but there was one fan who spat on the floor near me.
"YOU'RE GROSS AND YOU DON'T DESERVE LUKE!" She yelled, I walked up to her and laughed in her face.
"I know." I smiled before walking away. I waited for the boys and I soon saw the blonde quiff, I began running and Luke's eyes met mine, he dropped all his bags and held his arms out, I jumped into his arms and my legs folded around his waist.
"Oh my god, I missed you so much!" I exclaimed, he mumbled something and I felt the tears. I pulled back and he was sobbing, I lifted his head and he backed away from me.
"I'm sorry." He repeated
"Luke, why are you sorry?" I asked.
"I did it." He muttered, his left hand scratching his right wrist through the long sleeve. I walked closer and rolled up his sleeve, the crimson marks contrasted against his pale skin. I quickly pulled the sleeve over and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Baby, I love you OK? We'll have a good talk about this when we get home and you know what? We'll have a bath too." I told him and he nodded, I pulled back and grabbed his bags, we walked into the van. He sat in the back on his phone, I sat next to him, my arm around his shoulders. We got home and I pulled Luke's stuff upstairs Beanie ran in and Luke picked him up, laughing as Beanie licked his face. I ran the bath before walking to Luke. I sat next to him and looked at him.
I rolled his sleeves up and rolled my finger over them. I felt the tears rise.
"Why did you do this?" I asked him.
"Jealousy." He replied.
"Jealous? Of who?" I asked him softly.
"Tobie." Luke replied and I gasped.
"Stop being jealous of him. I don't see what you're jealous of." I muttered.
"HE'S CLOSE TO YOU! YOU TELL HIM EVERYTHING! YOU TRUST HIM!" Luke yelled and began crying.
"I'm closer to you. Tobie only knows the basics. He doesn't know I'm suicidal. He doesn't know I used to self harm, he knows nothing compared to what you know." I stated, I don't actually know if Tobie knew but I don't recall telling him.
"Then why does he act like he knows you inside out." Luke muttered.
"I don't know but I'm telling you there's nothing to be jealous of about Tobie unless you would prefer to be my friend instead of my boyfriend." I told Luke.
"OK, but I feel like you love him instead of me." He whimpered.
"I love you. Only you." I told him.
"So if I asked you to marry me, what would your reply be?" He asked.
"Yes." I smiled, he smiled and I pulled him into the bathroom. I turned the tapped off and pulled Luke's shirt off, he smirked and I laughed. We stripped off and hopped into the bath. I pressed myself against him and he wrapped his arms around my waist.
"Promise me, you will never leave?" He asked.
"I promise." I replied before pressing my lips to his.
Hollie's P.O.V (Weren't expecting that!)
I watched Ashton smile at me, he hugged me tightly and pressed his lips against mine. I wasn't feeling it anymore. Maybe it was just feeling pregnant but I don't feel the love anymore.
"Hollie are you OK?" He asked, his smile not present and his serious face was on.
"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm going out a minute." I muttered before taking a walk. I soon arrived at a small park, I sat on the bench and watched as kids ran around. I saw another person walk in and I smiled as Niall walked up to me. He sat on the bench next to me.
"So, what's up with you and Ash?" He asked.
"I don't know." I muttered.
"Do you think it's the babies?" Niall asked.
"I don't want Ashton's children." I mumbled, Niall looked at me.
"I don't want to be with Ashton anymore. There's nothing for us, as soon as these kids are born, I'm leaving." I mumbled.
"No, you don't mean that." Niall mumbled.
"I...I don't know. I don't feel anything and I think Ashton doesn't either." I told him, Niall moved closer and brushed my cheek.
"Are you sure?" He asked.
"Yes." I replied.
"So if I kissed you now, what would you do?" He asked.
"Kiss back." I replied and that's when his lips met mine. I kissed him back and wrapped my arms around his neck. My heart felt like it was back, my lips tingled and my stomach was doing flips. This was better then when I had first kissed Ashton, I know it's rude but he's better off without me.
"No, Hollie, I'm sorry. I can't. I shouldn't have done that. You can't tell Ashton." Niall demanded before getting up and leaving.
"Well then." I muttered to myself. I just kissed Niall Horan.
Lily's P.O.V
Luke wrapped me in the towel and I kissed him heavily, he walked forwards making me walk backwards. I hit the bed and we fell onto it together, I giggled and kissed him before he climbed off and sat on the bed.
"What's your favourite Sleeping With Sirens song?" I asked Luke.
"You Kill Me (In a good way)." He replied.
"I haven't heard that one. Play it?" I lied, he nodded and pressed on his phone and it began to play.
I know that hope weighs on your mind, lost within the seams,
it seems like we lose ourselves in between.
But the harder things become, the harder you push away.
Oh baby, yeah baby, it kills me.
You said it, you said it
I'll take you at your word.
These promises that you can't keep,
it's getting harder to hold on.
You said it, you said it
don't ever let me fall.
Don't give up because you're losing
(you haven't lost).
In time you'll find that we can sober up,
clean up any dirt so we can open up.
These wounds have been open for forever now.
Come on, be strong.
Your mind has gotten the best of you.
You've done enough and you are enough.
Let's fall asleep tonight,
I'll hold you close and show you you're not broken.
You said it, you said it
I'll take you at your word.
These promises that you can't keep,
it's getting harder to hold on.
You said it, you said it
don't ever let me fall.
Don't give up because you're losing
(Hold on)
Don't you think if it's meant to be, it will be?
Don't you think things will work out eventually?
Hold on.
You said it, you said it
I'll take you at your word.
These promises that you can't keep,
it's getting harder to hold on.
You said it, you said it
don't ever let me fall.
Don't give up because you're losing.
"Why do you like this song so much?" I asked him.
"It makes me think of you." He stated, that's weird because this reminds me of him.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because you're broken." He replied.
"I'm fixed now." I replied.
"No, you're like a glass. If you smash it, it breaks. You say sorry and it isn't fixed. You glue it back together and everyone can see the cracks, showing you're broken. You can never be as confident or as happy as you were before because you're damaged. You will never be able to do what you did before you've been smashed and there's always going to be a tiny bit missing. Always. You can search for that piece but it's not there. I don't care however many times you get dropped. I wanna be the one who's there to pick up the pieces." He muttered.
"Luke Hemmings you have no clue how much I love you. " I muttered and hugged him. He hugged me and I changed into some pyjamas, Luke changed into some joggers and a plain shirt. We walked downstairs and I saw Ashton sitting eating ice-cream. Luke went to get something from the kitchen and I sat beside Ashton.
"Are you OK?" I asked.
"No. I just saw Hollie kissing Niall." He replied ramming his spoon into the ice-cream. Luke walked out at that time and his eyes widened.
"What?!" I exclaimed, my blood boiled how the fuck could she do this?!
"As soon as those babies are born, I'm kicking her out and keeping them." Ashton spat.
"Are you gonna ask her about it?" I asked him.
"No. You can't either." He replied and I nodded, I pulled him into a hug and he cried. I sat beside him and Luke sat on the other side of him rubbing his back.
"Let's watch a film." I suggested, the two boys nodded and I put on Frozen.
*Some point after the film*
I had no clue what happened but all I know is we're now jumping on the couch, 4/4 boys drunk, screaming along to Let It Go, which Ashton got onto his phone. Michael and Kerri joined us as well as Calum.
"LET IT GO! LET IT GO! CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE!" I screamed before laughing, Luke smiled and grabbed my hand.
Hollie walked in and the happiness drained from Ashton like water in a drain. He and Hollie didn't do anything, she just went upstairs. He looked at his shoes and I lifted his head up.
"Do you want to build a snowman?" I asked and he smirked, we began singing to that. I pulled out Ashton's phone and made a keek.
"Hello 5SOSFam. I'm Lily and this is our 'We just watched Frozen' party. Listen carefully and you can hear Olaf." I laughed before singing along with the boy and Kerri as they sang.
"DOOOOOO YOOOOOOU WAANNNNNTTTT TOOOO BUILDDDD A SNOOOOWMANNNNN!" Ashton dragged out into the camera. I laughed and gave him the camera. He started talking about Frozen before it ended.
"Come on, Ashton, you need sleep." I smiled, my arm held him as I walked upstairs. He stumbled into me and Luke trailed behind me. I dropped him off in his room, not asking if Hollie was OK or anything.
I walked back into my room and saw Luke shirtless, I crawled into bed and Luke crawled on top of me.
"Luke get off." I told him. His hands undid my buttons on my shirt and I pushed Luke away.
"Stop." I demanded, he didn't listen and continued to try and undress me. Flashbacks of Chase continued in my mind and I began crying, feeling defenceless as he kissed soppily down my neck.
"L-Lily, why a-are you cr-rying?" Luke asked, sobering up to the sound of my tears.
"I was...attacked a few months ago, I-I'm sorry." I cried and he pulled me into a hug.
"N-no, I should've s-stopped." He grumbled, we laid down and I wrapped my arms around him from behind. This is different, we were doing the same shape, like we usually did at night: Spooning but I was being the bigger spoon. I rested my head against his back gently.
"I'll hold you close to show you you're not broken." I sang into his back. That was the last thing I can remember before falling asleep, holding Luke protectively in my arms.
A/N: HEY!!!
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