It's day three. The third fucking day, and Louis is going insane. He doesn't get it. Doesn't understand why everyone feels the need to keep planning things with Harry. Why they feel the need to include him when they so clearly have seen the awkwardness between the two of them. They're not friends anymore. Not even acquaintances at this point. So why - why - why can't they just keep him out of their plans with Harry?
It's a disaster in the making. A storm that is brewing. A tidal wave of pent up anger and frustration that is seconds away from crashing into Harry and drowning him in all the emotions that Louis has built up over the years. He's held off so far, only being three days in. But with how often all their friends expect them to hang around each other, he's not so sure how long he can keep biting his tongue. It seems like as each day passes, things between them get worse.
Day one, and Louis makes a complete ass of himself in front of Harry. Not even bothering to look happy that he's home or making an attempt at small talk. He let his anger and bitterness get the best of him, and it's the first time that he's ever acted so coldly towards the boy. It's different when all he used to be was sweet and loving. So soft and gentle. Harry might have expected things to go back to how they once were, where the two of them could be friends. But Louis is stubborn. Always has been. He's not letting that boy off the hook so easily. Those pretty green eyes and pouty lips won't win him over this time. It's going to take a lot more than just his cute face to get past all this anger Louis has for him.
Then it's day two. The infamous dinner. Everything had been going pretty decently until Niall slipped the ball on Louis and Luke's secret hook up. Then add on to that, Louis continued to run his mouth about being single and not caring about Harry's feelings, so the entire evening had been a complete disaster in trying to be civil. He knew everything he spoke was the truth, and he doesn't necessarily regret reminding his friends that he's not the one at fault here. But again, having Harry hear it all doesn't help. He looked so broken and upset, so betrayed, and Louis ended up being the one who felt guilty about the whole thing. Harry has that effect on people, making them feel sorry for him, and it fucking sucks.
It sucks because Louis knows Harry. Knows him so fucking well. At one point, they were in love and inseparable. Louis could read Harry easily, probably better than the boy could read himself. He knew Harry struggled with finding his voice and being confident around others. He struggled with the way he looked and how others perceived him. His insecurities consumed him, and Louis had always been there to be his reassurance. To be the soft reminders in his ear that he's beautiful and his words matter. Their late night conversations always ended with Harry crying about all the things that would bother him, and Louis tried his best to be the most supportive boyfriend that he could be.
So, yeah. He knows how fragile Harry can be. Knows how in his head he can get and how that greatly impacts the way he acts around others. Louis' never been the person on the end making him feel bad. He's always been the one lifting him up and being that beacon of light for him. So now that he's on the other end of being the one to break Harry, he feels fucking guilty. Harry's no good when he's alone and upset. And Louis has made him upset more times than he can count within the last two days. It's stressful. Confusing. And it doesn't make Louis feel good about himself at all.
He has until the evening to get his mind right. Niall invited all the lads over for a movie and beer night. Louis will be on day three of seeing his ex-boyfriend. And somehow, he's supposed to act normal. Right.
It's been hours since Louis lost track of what he's supposed to be working on. He had been listening to a demo on an up and coming band, but his mind had started drifting away about a few hours shy from lunch. The text message threw him off, and he had been non stop thinking about Harry and this entire week of him being in town. It's affecting his life. Affecting his work. He can't even focus on his task without Harry somehow slipping in to his mind. Maybe he should try to be friendly and see where that gets him. All this guilt he feels is eating him up alive, and the more times he acts like an asshole to the boy, the longer it's going to weigh heavy on him.
Harry once told him he was the sun. The brightest person he had ever seen. Always shining a light on others and just being the center to which everyone revolved around. Sometimes, when Harry would feel silly, he'd compare Louis to something sweet. Like honey. Nothing ever bad. Always said such nice things about him. Harry used to love him so fucking much. Now they can't even look at each other.
When the clock strikes one, Louis finally has an excuse to leave his office and put off all his work until another day. It's his lunch hour, and he had planned to visit the empty lot that his future studio will eventually be built on. It's the distraction that he needs leading in to another outing with his ex-boyfriend. Any time he gets the chance to take a step further in to opening his own record label, he feels hope. Excitement. Like all the pain and heartbreak he felt over the last three years have been worth it. Had led him to this point of achieving his goal the right way. Without betrayal and losing who he is.
As Louis steps out his office, he hears the echo of a loud laugh that sends shivers throughout his body. The sound is all too familiar, and he knows who it's coming from before he even has to look. Harry.
Of course he's here. Where Louis works. Right there in front of him, leaning over Gigi's desk and talking to her, happy, all smiles and dimples, laughing so carelessly. It's the first time since he's been home that Louis has seen this side of him. Almost like a glimpse at who Harry used to be. It's a bit refreshing, knowing that the part of Harry that everyone knows is still there, making a brief appearance. Even if it's just for a moment. Louis has to try his best not to smile. Seeing Harry happy has always been one of his favorite things. More so when he's the one who's making him happy.
Knowing that he can't necessarily avoid them since the elevator is past where they are, Louis decides to walk over, a hesitant smile as he approaches the desk. Gigi smiles in return, but Harry gets tense, a bit closed off. He takes a step back, putting more distance between their bodies and places his hands in front, fingers tangling together.
"Hey. What's going on?"
"We just had lunch," Gigi answers brightly. "Harry was getting set up for studio time here. New song, right?"
Harry nods his head, slowly.
Louis lifts an eyebrow, glancing over to Harry for confirmation. "Really?"
"If that's - if that's okay?" Harry's cheeks flush red, and he anxiously nibbles on the inside of his cheek.
"By all means." Louis looks away. "It's not like I own the place."
Gigi rolls his eyes. "You'll own your own soon enough."
Louis winks, and Harry shifts on his feet.
"Are you leaving?" he questions under his breath, like he's scared to be heard.
Gigi glances between the two of them before she's looking at her computer, trying to make herself look busy. Her nails tap loudly against the keyboard, and Louis watches the way she nibbles on the inside of her cheek. He wonders if she feels as awkward as he does right now. Things between him and Harry are still not good, definitely not after the dinner they had last night. Louis honestly did not think Harry would ever speak to him again after the Luke thing.
"Yeah, I'm about to head out." Louis taps his fingers on top of the desk for a couple seconds and then steps away, stuffing his hands into his pocket instead. "I'm checking out the foundation for my studio, actually."
Gigi turns her head towards him. "Has building started already?"
"No. They just cleaned out the lot. Going to take a look and figure out the blue prints."
"Exciting. This is like your baby," she gleams.
"I'll see you after my lunch." Louis steps around Harry and walks towards the elevator. He can hear the heel of boots click across the ground as it gets closer to where he is standing.
"I'll follow you out," Harry mumbles from behind, hands wringing behind his back. Louis nods and presses the button, foot tapping on the ground as he waits for the elevator to land on the floor.
This is about to be even more awkward.
It's silent as they enter the lift. Louis presses the button for the lobby and then leans against the railing on the wall. Harry is on the complete opposite side of him, stuffed in the corner of the elevator with his head hung low. He's staring at his boots, the way they're scuffing over each other. Fingers wrapped tightly around the railings, and the tension continues to thicken the longer the silence lingers.
Louis absolutely hates it. Harry used to never be so shy around him. Never caved in on himself nor tried to make himself disappear. But that's exactly what he's doing right now, looking as if he wants to sink into the wall of the elevator. He's breathing shakily, like he can't control the race of his heart. Louis' stomach twist uncomfortably. Seeing Harry like this has never made him felt good, especially when he knows he's the one making him feel this way.
"So," he ends up saying, clearing his throat. A furrow makes its way to Harry's brows, and he glances Louis' way. "A movie night then?"
Harry shifts his weight between both his feet. "Yeah."
"Starting a bit late, no?"
As much as Louis bitched about the small talk, that's surely what he's doing right now. He hopes Harry doesn't make a comment on it. Small talk just seems appropriate right now.
"I have sound check today. Won't get done until later."
Right. Harry's famous. Has a band. Is the lead singer. Supposed to play a concert at the end of the week. Sometimes Louis forgets about this new life Harry lives. He wishes that he could go back to what they used to be when they were nothing but two boys in love who dreamed big things.
"Makes sense." Louis clicks his tongue, eyes glancing around the ceiling of the elevator. They're almost to the lobby. "I'll see you tonight then ... I suppose."
Harry nods his head, ducking down again. "Yeah." He sniffs, fingers tapping against the railing. "You're building a studio?"
The elevator dings, and the sound jolts both he and Harry. They share brief eye contact with one another, and then the doors are opening. There's a slew of people that are waiting to get on so Louis motions for Harry to go first before following him out.
"I am, yeah," Louis responds, realizing that he and Harry are walking alongside each other on the way to the garage. It feels so natural.
"The studio is your baby then?"
Louis swallows as he looks away. "It's finally coming together so it sort of feels like it."
There was once a time when Louis' baby was Harry. It was a known thing between their group friends based on how protective Louis used to be. Any time some one spoke a certain way with Harry, or didn't treat him right, Louis would be right there protecting him. Pushing away all the bad and only bringing the good. It was so easy to fall in to that role when Harry is the youngest of the group and Louis is the oldest. They had a sort of ship and compass relationship. Wherever Louis pointed, Harry would follow. Whatever he would say, Harry would listen.
Louis' been a protective person his whole life. Easily held that title with four younger sisters. Then having a boyfriend who felt insecure and thrived off support, he just easily continued that with him. The hardest part for Louis was realizing that Harry no longer needed him to protect him. That he had other people to do just that. The support he now has comes from fans. All the love and the praise - Harry didn't need it to come from him anymore. He had body guards now. A management team. PR team. All these people who are supposed to be protecting him. Who are trained and paid to do so. Everything Louis and Harry once were to each other just seems like a distance from the past, a mere thought.
Because now, Louis does have a new baby. And it's not a boyfriend or another person. It's his career. The thing he had been working so hard towards for the last three years. He protects this close to his heart. Supports himself and all the visions he has on where he sees his future. Building a studio and running a label is his dream, his baby, and he'll do just about everything he can to make sure he gets what he's been working towards.
"That's good," Harry says shortly. The two of them stop at the door to the garage, and Louis opens it up. He lingers in the doorway as Harry steps through, awkwardly looking around like he's not too sure where to go. "Where's your studio?" he ends up asking, trying to drag the conversation on a little longer.
Louis' car is parked up front, so it's only a few spots over. He clicks his keys once to start the engine, and Harry glances over to the black car with the lights flashing on. Louis already feels what is about to happen, and he has no inclination to stop it.
"It's not too far actually. Right up the road." Slowly, he walks towards his car, glancing at the awkward way Harry is standing on the steps. "Do you want to check it out?" he asks, going against his better judgement. The question just slipped right out of him, and if he wouldn't have put that thought in his mind, then he wouldn't have felt inclined to ask.
The problem is that Louis was scared that if he didn't ask, Harry might have. And he really didn't want to disappoint Harry any more than he already has. He's trying to survive the week. Not make it dreadful.
"Are you sure?"
Louis tilts head towards his car, unlocking it. "Yeah. I haven't gotten to show anyone."
A smile creeps its way on to Harry's face, a small flash of dimples. "Okay. Yeah. I would love to see it."
His face gets brighter, and Louis finds himself smiling. It's such a stark contrast to what he's seen since Harry's first arrived in town. All his smiles seemed fake and laughter forced. Nothing had been authentic. It's like he's putting on a show for everyone, burrowing down all the things that are bothering him so that he can have this persona that everything is alright. Louis knows it's not. He can see right through the facade. But it's nice that Harry is able to break free a little bit and show emotion on something that makes him happy. Even if that is spending time together - alone, without their friends.
Louis tries not to think too much about that. Harry's probably more excited about the fact that Louis is doing something with his life, taking a step into the dream they once shared together. Although Louis still resents Harry for what he did, he's pretty happy that he's getting to do what he's always dreamed of. The first song that he listened to of Harry's on the radio, was quite ridiculous, but even then he smiled too. The boy he used to kiss under the sun and speak to the stars with was selling out arenas and creating hit singles. The same boy who did not believe in his voice or his creative ability.
They've come so far. Might have grown apart in the process, but at the end of the day, Harry is an old friend. An old lover. And Louis feels a bit prideful that he was a part of the journey. Doesn't diminish his resentment and bitterness though. He's just a big jumble of conflicted emotions at this point.
The ride over to the empty lot is silent. Since Harry doesn't have an actual car to drive in, he rode with Louis, sitting in the passenger seat and being a constant reminder of how things used to be. After everything that's happened within the last two days, it's kind of nice being able to sit in the same vehicle and not have the air feel so thick. It's calm. A bit more comfortable than Louis would like, but they're not arguing or bickering. They're not making each other upset or causing a scene. Harry's just a warm presence next to him, and he looks perfectly content with where he's sat and looking out the window.
It should not feel as natural as it does, but Louis can't deny what he's feeling. Things between him and Harry have always been easy. Their conversations. Their love. Everything. So it's not a surprise that there's a small glimpse of the easiness and comfort that comes along when they're together, even if it's just sitting in the same car. Harry's all smiles and sunshine, pleased with being there. He's glowing, radiating, like being next to Louis is what brings on that sort of aura.
But then ... Louis thinks. He wonders. His mind draws back to the gloominess and dark clouds that constantly hang over Harry's head. And the way he doesn't eat his food or drink his wine. Always so closed off and hiding away, like he doesn't want to be noticed. For someone who is supposed to be a pop star, Harry still acts like the shy boy with lots of insecurities. If being inside a car with Louis is the only thing right now that can make him look so happy and bright, then Louis wonders what the hell are all the other things that are bringing him down to this sadness that he's constantly in. Harry should be happy all the time. Not just when he's reliving moments from his past.
It doesn't make sense. He's the pop star now. He chose this life. He chose to leave Louis and their friends behind. This is the dream that he's living. The happiness and sunshine should be a constant glow around his body, but it seems like the only thing that can do it right now is when he's next to Louis. When they're acting like what they used to be. Friends. Compatible. No resentment or anger.
"Alright. This is it," Louis announces as he pulls up alongside the curb. He turns his ignition off and glances over at Harry, smiling warily when the boy looks at the empty lot through the window. "I know it's not much."
"It's your beginning," Harry responds, eyes drifting to Louis.
There's a moment where they just look at one another, sitting in the silence of the car and forgetting about everything around them. Louis' heart quickens in his chest, and he quickly has to divert his eyes away so he doesn't do something stupid like kiss Harry. His green eyes are so bright and wide, filled with so much wonderment. Nothing about that has changed with him. The way Harry looks at him. He thought after all these years Harry would lose that special spark he had for him, but it's still there. Louis sees it so clearly, and he's not sure what it's supposed to mean anymore.
Louis is the first to get out the car, and then Harry follows. They meet up on the sidewalk, and Louis leads the way through the foundation that has already been cemented. Harry follows mindlessly behind, hands stuffed in his coat pocket as he looks around at everything.
"I have a couple layouts I've been considering. Not sure which one to go with."
"Are you going to have other offices here?"
Louis stops at the end of the lot and turns around, breath catching in his throat when he realizes just how close Harry is to him. "Mark wants to have additional business space available to rent. He's considering having an office here as well. Might need a couple floors in the building."
Harry nods his head and turns around, glancing ahead at the view in front. "You'll have a good view. That's for sure."
The view from this building will be a lot better than his office at London Records. The building is resting on a hill, higher up so that there is more of an upward view of everything down below. Louis can see downtown buildings towards the left, and then he has all the lower neighborhoods closer to the right. There's a park up ahead that he'll still get to admire, and all the motorways not too far for him to catch an occasional police chase. London Records is surrounded by flat lands so being more on the hilly side of town is a good change he is looking forward too.
Plus, a lot of record stores and dive bars are around. Perfect area to market his business.
"The contractor we hired sent a few ides for the layout." Louis pulls his phone out and steps next to Harry, showing him the screen. "All relatively the same. That's why it's hard to choose."
Harry slowly reaches out to grab the phone from his hand. "May I?" he asks, waiting for Louis' nod of approval. He begins scrolling through the few options that Louis has pulled up.
The format of each one is pretty similar, but they each have minor adjustments that probably don't mean much to the people who come in and out of the building. It's a matter of where Louis wants the offices of the label and what floor is going to be the recording studio. Does he want stores and restaurants on the inside and how many stories high he intends for the building.
Another thing is the parking lot and the garage, how that's going to be connected. Louis can't imagine his building being any bigger than London Records. He has a small label, so the amount of people he intends to work for him will be limited. His actual business will only need a couple floors in the building that can house offices and other amenities. He does prefer to take the top floors as for a better view of London. The floors below can be other businesses that choose to rent out and possibly play an affect to his company. Like Mark's law firm.
"I think they're all great. I might lean towards the third option. Seems more suitable."
Crazy. Louis thought the same thing.
"Yeah. That's what I was leaning towards too."
Harry smiles as he hands the phone back to Louis. "Does it have a name yet?"
"No." Louis snorts, shaking his head. "That is something I struggle with." He turns a little towards Harry and notes the bright grin on his face, eyes crinkling and dimples cratering his cheeks. "I was thinking something with twenty-eight. Like twenty eight programme or some shit."
Harry blushes, heading ducking down. "That's always been your favorite number."
Of course he remembers something so minor about Louis. Twenty eight is his favorite number. Never really knew why. He and Harry kissed for the first time on February eighth. Became boyfriends on September twenty eight. Maybe that's where the significance is. Two and eight have always just been a part of him and Harry, of their past and their love story, and then it's just stuck with him. At one point, he considered getting the two numbers tattooed on his body. That's how dedicated he is.
The sound of a phone ringing cuts through their moment, and Harry falters back when he realizes its coming from him. Louis clears his throat and steps away so he can take the call, walking around the empty lot and busying himself by kicking things. Harry presses the phone to his ear and mumbles softly through the line. He walks to the opposite end of the lot but continues to glance over Louis' way, like he's worried he can hear the conversation through the phone.
When the call ends, Harry pockets his phone and joins Louis, a frown now spreading across his lips. Louis looks up and raises his eyebrows. "Everything alright?"
"I forgot about rehearsals," Harry murmurs, eyes casting down to his shoes. "The car stopped by Record Labels."
Louis laughs under his breath. "Right. Probably should have told them I kidnapped you."
"You didn't." Harry looks up, lips creeping up into a smile. "I told them where I was. Should be on their way."
"Warn them you're not being held captive."
Harry smiles. "I was thinking that maybe you and the others came after rehearsals one day. It's pretty cool getting to explore the stadiums without all the fans around. I think Niall wants to meet my band."
Louis can't think of a worse idea than that.
"Sure. Sounds ... fun."
Harry beams brightly, and then Louis is wondering why it would be such a bad idea in the first place.
It doesn't take long for the car to come around and pick Harry up. Their goodbye is awkward and strained, all tensed smiles and hesitant movements with their bodies. Although they've had a good hour spending time together, it still feels weird to do anything other than wave at each other. They used to hug and part ways with a kiss, but they don't do either of those things anymore. For a brief moment, Louis held his breath as he thought Harry was going to make the move to do so, but instead, he smiled warily and waved before rushing off into the car. It was awkward and weird, but he didn't mind the time he spent with Harry today.
A few hours pass where Louis goes home to get freshen up. He's supposed to meet at Niall's house around eight to get started on their movie and beer night. That's around the time when Harry should be finished up with his sound check, and he'll join a little later once he gets ready. Louis is only half an hour late when he finally does arrive, but he comes baring a few boxes of pizza and a case of beer to share with the others. Liam and Zayn are currently playing a game on the X-box, and Niall is in the kitchen getting all their snacks ready for when the first movie begins.
"Do we know what movie we're starting with?" Louis asks as he places his things on the coffee table. He slumps on the open couch in the middle and kicks his feet up, eyeballing the two boys squished together on the bean bag on the floor.
"Not sure," Zayn comments, eyes trained to the game on the tv. It's FIFA that they're playing, and he cusses under his breath when Liam's player steals the ball from him. "Harry texted not too long ago. Should be a few more minutes."
Louis nods his head and sips his beer. He's definitely not going to mention the fact that he spent a solid hour with the boy. Also going to keep quiet on the fact that he quite enjoyed it too.
"I was thinking something scary," Niall announces into the room, holding two bowls of popcorn in either hand. He places them next to the box of pizza and beer Louis brought and then plops himself on the recliner. "There's a new one out I've been wanting to see."
"Is it one with the demon girl?" Liam wonders.
"There's a thriller, too. Something about an invisible man," Zayn comments after.
Niall hums at both options. "Thrillers are always fun. Gives a good scare, yeah?"
"You know Harry's not going to like that," Louis ends up saying, not even realizing the words are out his mouth until the moments passed and all eyes turn to him. He makes a face, realizing he dug himself into that one.
"And you care?" Zayn questions, a playful tilt to his voice.
Louis blinks and notices that the game is now paused. He buries himself into another sip of his beer.
"Harry doesn't like scary movies. It keeps him up at night. He gets super clingy when we watch them," Zayn mocks in his poorly attempted Louis voice. Niall and Liam cackle, and Louis tosses the closest throw pillow at his head. "Nothing's changed then."
"What are you on about? You all know he doesn't like scary movies."
"He's a romantic comedy type of fellow," Niall snorts, shaking his head. "Yeah, we all know that."
"Exactly."
Zayn rolls his eyes and exits out the game he and Liam are no longer playing. "You just worry about him like old times. Like you're still in love with him."
To be fair, it's common knowledge that Harry hates scary movies. He's got too much anxiety when watching them, and all the horrific images of the movie constantly play on repeat in his mind at night. Any time the group would get together for a movie night in the past, they somehow always managed to sneak a scary movie in. It usually resorted in Harry crawling in Louis' lap and burrowing himself into his chest and neck. Then they would spend the night together because Harry absolutely refuses to sleep alone, and if Louis' arms weren't around him the entire time he was asleep, then he'd freak.
Louis' known to be a bit dramatic. But, when it comes to anything scary, Harry is right up there on being a drama queen. That's why Louis tried his best to keep it from being an option. He just knows Harry. Knows how badly they bother him. And considering now they're not together, and Harry is actually going home to an empty hotel room, he can only image the amount stress he'll have if they watch one tonight. It's not like he can cuddle Harry for old times sake. They're still not on the best of terms, and their relationship right now is complicated. Louis can't even describe what he and Harry are as of now.
"Let's start with a scary one since he's not here," Niall concludes. He gets up from the recliner and searches through his shelves of movies. Once finding the perfect one, he sets it up with the DVD player.
About halfway through the movie, lights off and popcorn and pizza half eaten, Harry finally shows. He strolls in through the front door with a box of cookies, and the smile slowly slips off his face when his eyes land on the television screen. It's a scene of a little girl getting possessed, and Louis instinctively reaches forward to pause the movie.
"You made it," Niall greets, sitting up right in the recliner after having lazily tossed his legs over the arm.
Harry's expression is cautious as he walks further in to set the cookies on the table, glancing back and forth between Niall and the paused movie on the screen. "What're we watching then?"
Niall opens his mouth, but Louis beats him to the punch.
"Waiting on you to get here to switch to a comedy."
Zayn buries his laugh in to Liam's shoulder. Niall rolls his eyes, and Harry looks immensely relieved.
"Really?" he questions hopefully.
Louis nods his head and exits out from the current movie they're watching. "Yeah. We couldn't decide so we threw this on in the mean time."
"I know one we can watch. Just came out not too long ago," Harry answers. He takes a seat on the opposite end of the couch Louis is on and grabs the remote to search for the movie.
Louis shrugs his shoulders when he catches Liam and Zayn's eye from the bean bag, and he tries not to think too much of the fact that he's still got that protective instinct inside of him. He ignores Zayn mouthing whipped to him and Liam's not-so-subtle wiggly eyebrows. Niall gives him a look, and then a wicked grin takes over his face.
Louis has to divert his eyes away from all three of them because despite what they say or think, he is still most definitely not in love with Harry. Not at all.