unsung
The place was packed. Every table and chair taken. The lights dim enough that the hanging blinking lights left everything from a soft glow to a warm, cozy atmosphere with just a blink. Everyone was talking, visiting with their neighbors. Everyone was enjoying themselves and belonged.
Kellum took a moment to appreciate how his kind mixed throughout the humans. Maybe not everyone was adjusting as well, but it was far better than he had thought it would go.
Humans were amazing at adopting to any situation they found themselves.
He paused to give his sister a kiss on her cheek and nodded towards Pensley.
His destination was a few more tables away. Where one lone guy sat with his head on the table and hidden beneath his arms.
Kell had no idea why the boy seemed to be sleeping but Julian was still going to receive his company.
"Can't you see I'm busy? Leave me to myself." The order was barked at him.
Before Kellum could take offense, the boy lifted his head and looked at Kell in surprise.
"Thank God, you're here. I was afraid you hadn't gotten the memo."
"Your summons? Yes, I received it."
"Thank God. I'm telling you man; I'm so freaking out for her I'm making myself sick."
"Is that why you looked like you were sleeping?"
"Praying. Jess swears I get religious when I'm freaked."
"And why are you freaked?"
"Because she is. God, I hope she doesn't go up there and puke on stage or something."
"If it eases your mind, she is not as upset as she was."
Julian breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God. That means she's in her, I'm too bad ass for this shit, stage. That's good. Cool that you are tuned into her emotions. That's a superpower that will come in handy for you. You really are the one for her."
He had not asked; it was more of a statement he had made to himself.
"If this is so upsetting why is she doing it?"
"She's never sung for anyone but family before. It's a thing for her. Another one of those daddy issues. She's doing it for her mom. This is kind of a memorial for her. No matter how upset she is, she'll do it. And heads up, be prepare to be amazed. She has the most beautiful voice. It can bring tears to your eyes."
She amazed him every day. He could feel her close, but it was not close enough. Every mile he had put between them had felt like a weight being put on his chest. Right now, every step seemed too great a distance.
Julian smiled. "You decided to let me live? I wasn't worried. You should thank me, all of this kept her from worrying too much over you. Otherwise, she'd be wanting to ring your neck right now."
Kellum looked at him so he would take his words to heart. "Anytime she wants to ring my neck, leave that between me and her. I do not fear her anger. I do fear my wrath the next time you think to keep her from me."
"I can do that. Jess tends to chase off anyone she likes by coming on too strong. I didn't want her to do the same to you."
"You do not have to worry about that."
"Good but another heads up, she hasn't really tried to run you off yet. I hope you're as confident about that as you sound."
"I am."
The goof ball smiled again. "How long did it take for you to admit to yourself that you couldn't kill me?"
"Still do not know if I have."
"Sure, you have. What saved me? My boyish good looks? You realized I'm only a threat if you push me away?"
"You and she are close, I get that. What I do not get is how she could have been yours and you let her go."
Julian studied his hands. "The only time I've ever come close to losing her is when I tried to hold on to her. She loves me but not like that."
"And you?"
He finally looked at him. "The truth?"
"Yes."
"When I was seven, I was head over heels for her. Then about thirteen I realized that there were actually girls who liked being girls. Some who smelled good all the time and smiled sweetly at me instead of always ready to lay me out flat. Girls who couldn't beat me at Xbox became way more interesting. Jess became my best friend then. The best friend a man could ask for. There's nothing I can't talk to her about. Nothing I can't count on her for. Then at sixteen girls became real popular with me. They were all I thought about. I mean "all" I thought about. Jess made a lot of gagging noises during this year, but I noticed that she was finally noticing guys. She started smelling good all the time. But she was still just Jess, you know? At least to me, other boys were starting to see how great she was. I admit, I got jealous. She was mine. She always has been. I wanted others but I didn't want her to want others. When she decided, she wanted to get rid of her v card, and that is how she saw it. I was against it. I had my eyes on Becky Johnson. Everybody said Becky was the best. Greg Newman was Jess's back up plan. There was no way I was letting Greg Jerkoff Newman touch my girl just so I could have Becky Johnson. So, why the hell not? We could learn how to do it together. We'd done everything else together. I'd seen her wearing hardly anything so believe me it wasn't like I was going to have a hard time with it. That lasted for about two minutes then I was completely lost in the moment. Lost in her. Boy, did I see a side of Jess I had never seen before. Blew my mind. Suddenly, I was head over heels all over again."
"I am not liking this story."
"There's a happy ending. I went crazy. She didn't. Don't get me wrong. She had a real fine time, but I think if anything it just made her realize more than ever that she didn't feel that way about me. And my goo goo eyes at her were just pissing her off. She said I was just thinking with my junk. Maybe I was. A couple nights with Becky and I thought I was in love with her too. Within a year, I was in my first real relationship and I was no longer bothered by seeing Jess with other boys. Now, I can honestly say I hope it works out with you two. I love her and want the very best for her."
Julian grinned at his disgusted look.
"You loved her but not enough to claim her and make a commitment."
"I love her plenty enough." Julian's voice came out stern, but he ended on a sigh. "I do love her. More than anything else in my life. But you're right. Something is missing and we both have always known it. I spent my whole life with her and never manage what you have in just a few months. That's what I've been trying to tell you. I never was competition. If anything, I'm just excess baggage. Special handle with care, baggage. Do you love her enough to accept that she won't accept you unless you accept me too?"
"I want her enough to accept you, yes."
Julian smiled. "Say it like you mean it."
"I do mean it."
"It was a joke."
"Any advice on how to keep from wanting to smash your face in every time I see you touch her?"
"Not really. Get used to it?"
"It takes everything I have not to punch you."
Julian chuckled. "Then she would want to smother me in love, and you would want to hit me again. You can see where this is going? I think once you two have sex you'll stop obsessing over her and me having sex."
"Very hard to not hurt you."
"My girl has been hurting for a long time. I can make her laugh. I can make sure she's never alone, but I realized a long time ago that I couldn't heal her. She needs you for that. You must show her that love sticks around. It shows up and doesn't walk away. You show her differently and I will figure out a way to kill you. I won't care if it means jail, death, or even hell for me."
"I can live with that. Here is what you need to live with. I would not want her to have only me, but you need to learn your place. You can be her brother, you can be her best friend, but the rest is unacceptable from this moment forth."
He gave a nod. "You're right. I will start taking your feelings into consideration. Just try to understand that she comes first with me. Always. Even if I don't completely agree with her. That won't change."
"Your loyalty to my mate is respected. Is there anything else about you two I do not know about?"
"Probably. We used to runaway to be together when our parents thought to separate us. Once Jess made it nearly to Texas on her own. After that, our parents stopped taking one of us without the other. She's promised to name her first kid after me when she was nine. I saved her life. She nearly walked in front of a speeding car. We have a plan to get married if neither of us are married by the time we are twenty-five. She______."
"That is not going to happen."
Julian lifted an eyebrow and went on. "She... has a nasty habit of walking around her room in her panties. She got a tattoo last year. A black widow on her hip. I chickened out and she's never let me live it down. She has a fake id. Name Reba Downing." He sighed. "There's probably more but I can't think of all of it, then there's somethings I'm not at liberty to say. You'll have to get that from her. I wasn't her first kiss. She's always been into dudes with muscles. Guess you have that covered. Your biggest obstacle with her is going to be you wanting to make her a queen. Which is funny since I thought no obstacle could be as impossible as her trust issues, but you seem to be breezing through those. She loves to be nibbled up and down the right side of her neck."
Kellum grabbed his t shirt and drugged the smaller man closer. "You are going to stay out of her room unless you knock and are reassured that she is clothed. Completely clothed. And what are you going to forget?"
"That she loves to be______."
"Exactly."
The fool smiled. "Easier said than done. How about this, you don't have to know that I know because we will never speak of this again."
Kellum let him go. If he had his way, him and this boy would never speak again period.
"Safe topics only." The other boy promised.
"You let her hit on you then pretend it hurts."
"It's how she lets off steam."
"I was hoping you were that big of a wimp."
"One day we are going to be good friends. Or really good at pretending to be."