I slammed my bedroom door shut and locked it behind me, glad to finally be through with the heated argument between my mom and I. I ran my fingers through my hair and fell back onto my bed, letting out a big sigh.
My mother had these high expectations for me, and she always had. She wanted me to study hard and get good grades so I could get into a top college and be successful like her and my father. That was one of the main reasons why I got my car keys taken away when I snuck the boy - or Ashton, apparently - into the house. She was afraid that I was going to spend too much of my senior year going out and partying instead of focusing on my grades.
I thought the whole thing was ridiculous. In the few months that I've known Ashton I've still been able to keep my focus on school as well as him. I don't go out and party anymore and if anything my grades have improved, because I had always thought that bringing up my grades would get my keys back.
I just didn't understand what my mother had against Ashton. We were all aware that in Ashton's past he's made a few bad choices, but that's why it's the past. He's different now and if my mom were to give him a chance she would know that. She felt that telling me I wasn't allowed to be around him anymore was going to stop me, but that wasn't the case. My mother's hatred for Ashton only made me want him more.
I was interrupted from my thoughts when I heard a tapping at my window, the same window Ashton had snuck in through. I got up and made my way over to it, just in time to see a pebble bounce off the glass. I opened the window slowly, scared that Ashton was accidentally going to hit me in the face with a rock.
"What are you doing here?" I whispered down to him.
"I'm here to apologize to my girlfriend." Ashton quietly yelled back, glancing around him like he was afraid my mom was going to come out of the bushes.
I chewed on my bottom lip, wondering if I should take the risk of letting Ashton come up or not. I sighed, pushing the window up all the way. "Come on."
Ashton ungracefully climbed up the side of the house, trying not to make too much noise as he went. He had done this once before, but his climbing skills really hadn't improved since then. Finally he reached my window and practically rolled into the room, head first and landing on the ground with a big thud.
"Hi." Ashton stood up, brushing himself off.
"Hey." I nodded.
"Here, this is for you." Ashton said, digging around in his pockets and pulling out a crumpled piece of paper. It read "1 Free Day".
"What does this mean?" I asked, laughing softly. I folded the paper in half and put it in my back pocket before crossing my arms over my chest, waiting for an answer.
"It's a 'Ashton is very sorry so he's offering Dani one free day where he does whatever she wants with no complaining' coupon." Ashton explained, a wide smile on his face.
"Oh, your little coupon's just going to fix everything." I bit back a smile, finding it totally adorable.
"I'm so sorry, Dani, about everything. About getting you in trouble with your mom, and getting your keys taken away and - " Ashton stepped forward, taking both of my hands in his. He kept rambling on until I cut him off, afraid that my mom was going to hear him downstairs.
"Ashton." I stopped him. "It's okay. I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier, I was just so frustrated with my mom and I took it out on you."
"It's fine, really. I just - God, I'm sorry." Ashton said, lowering his voice. He came in closer and rested his forehead against mine, so we could talk quietly without the chance of anyone hearing.
"Stop saying sorry!" I laughed. "Can you just, uh, maybe explain to me what happened? You know, that night.."
"Oh, Murphy, it wasn't even that bad." Ashton sighed. He walked me over to my bed and both of us sat down on the end of it, our hands still laced together.
"Just tell me." I whispered. I wasn't going to be mad at Ashton. I honestly didn't think that him keeping it from me was a big deal, things probably would have turned out way differently if he had just come out and said it when we first met. I was just confused, I wanted to get the whole story straight.
"It was about two months after Kenzie...died, and I wasn't at the party with you, I was walking home from - from her grave. I go there sometimes." Ashton paused. "And Luke and Calum were walking you home because you got yourself so drunk, but they were a little tipsy too and wanted to get back to the party. So we eventually crossed paths and they begged me to take you home, since Luke knew that I lived just down the block from you. Luke just wanted to make sure that you got home safely."
"Is this how you know Luke?" I asked, remembering that at my parents party a little while ago Luke and Ashton had acted like they knew each other.
"We had met a few times before." Ashton coughed awkwardly into his shoulder.
"Oh, okay go on." I said, sitting up straighter.
"So I walked you the rest of the way home and," Ashton laughed, "you were kind of all over me."
"Was I really?" I asked, letting out a quiet laugh. I knew that something like this was going to come up eventually, considering that my parents found me and the boy almost naked on the staircase.
"Yeah. You brought me inside and mentioned something about your parents being out and then said something crazy about a water bed. So I finally gave in and we started kissing and.. I don't know, Dani, do I have to explain the rest?" Ashton asked, a small smile on his lips.
"What happened when we got caught?" I asked, still interested in hearing more.
"Well I guess your parents were home that night, and they heard us coming up the stairs because I tripped - " Ashton stopped talking to chuckle again. "And by the time your parents came and saw us I had no shirt, my pants were unzipped all the way, and I was working on getting you out of your dress."
"Oh." I said, biting at the inside of my cheek. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't upset at all, I honestly thought the whole thing was kind of funny.
"And when I got home I just felt so guilty, because I had gotten you in a ton of trouble and I felt like I was doing something wrong because - because my girlfriend just died a couple of months before." Ashton sighed. "I don't know, I just got so carried away, I guess. I had just lost my girlfriend of three years and my best friend wasn't - and still isn't - speaking to me. I just wanted to feel...loved, by someone, anyone."
I nodded, still trying to find something to say that would actually be useful. I felt more stupid than anything now, knowing that I had let myself get so drunk that I couldn't even remember Ashton's name.
"That's why I had such a hard time opening up to you in the beginning, because I was angry that you didn't even remember who I was. I didn't realize that I didn't mean anything to you in the first place, and I was just mad that you didn't think twice of me." Ashton finished. He let go of my hand and ran his own through his hair.
"So we - we never had sex?" I asked.
"No, no." Ashton shook his head. "I think we would have, if your parents hadn't caught us."
"Oh, good." I let out a sigh of relief. As much as I liked Ashton, I would hate to have lot my virginity to him while I was so drunk. I wanted to remember it.
"Yeah." Ashton nodded, looking down at his lap.
"Ashton, I'm sorry, really. If I could go back and chance all of that I would." I said quickly, trying to make it up to Ashton. I felt awful, I totally played him and I had no idea.
"You really don't need to apologize, Murph, I - "
"Murph?" I asked, cutting Ashton off.
"Yeah, I thought it sounded cute." Ashton smiled, moving his hands to cover up the redness in his cheeks. "And... You're cute. It's cute."
"It is." I giggled, scooting closer to Ashton. I suddenly got an I idea, one that would probably make my mom want to kill me, but I didn't care.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and swung my legs over his lap, so I was now sitting in top of him. I quickly kissed Ashton once, biting down softly on his bottom lip. Ashton's face became an even darker shade of red as I leaned in, beginning to leave slow, lingering kisses on his neck.
"What are you doing?" Ashton asked, drawing in a sharp breath while I sucked on his skin.
"Finishing what we started." I took my lips off of him for a second and sat up straight, quickly pulling my own shirt over my head.
"Jesus Christ." Ashton muttered under his breath, bringing his hands to my hips as I continued to kiss him.
I pushed Ashton back until he fell onto the bed. His cold hands made their way up my back, making me shiver as Ashton took over and flipped us around. Now on top, Ashton lifted his own shirt over his head and threw it down on the ground, smiling as he came down further. He left a trail of small kisses all the way up my stomach and stopped when he reached my collarbone, biting down softly on the skin.
"Dani," Ashton whispered, glancing up at me. He placed one hand by the side of my head, holding himself up. He leaned in closer and pressed his body against mine, which didn't give me very much room to move. His other hand went up my side, his fingers wiggling their way under the hem of my bra where he moved his thumb back and forth, tickling my skin.
I wanted Ashton. I wanted to be with him, and I wanted to feel him, and I wanted him to know that even though we hadn't know each other for a very long time I would always be there. I was never going to leave Ashton, because what I felt for him was too different from anything that I had ever felt for any other guy. Ashton was special to me, and I wanted him to know that.
"Ashton, I - " I stopped myself from finishing my sentence, letting out a soft moan instead as Ashton's lips worked at my neck. I wrapped my legs around his waist, holding him close to me.
I brought my lips to Ashton's, letting his tongue run over my bottom lip before it entered my mouth. I ran my hands down Ashton's chest, stopping when I got to the waistband of his pants. I ran my fingers over the button of Ashton's pants, trying to decide if I wanted to make the first move and unbutton them or not.
"Dani, what are you doing?" Ashton stopped kissing me and looked me in the eyes, now using both hands to hold himself up.
"What? I'm - I thought we were - " I panted, out of breath from kissing Ashton for such a long time.
"Murphy, your mom is right under us." Ashton whispered. He climbed off of me, falling back onto the bed.
"I don't care about my mom." I scowled at Ashton. I sat up, folding my arms over my chest. Ashton ran his hands over his face and let out a big sigh, probably preparing to start a minor argument.
"I've already gotten you in trouble once tonight just for walking you home, I don't think she's going to like us having sex while she's in the house." Ashton sighed.
"We can be quiet," I whined, "my mom doesn't even have to know."
I felt like I was acting like a brat, and I felt bad about that, but that was how I was used to getting things my way. I had been raised in a way that all I had to do was complain a little and I would get what I wanted handed to me. Since I met Ashton I hadn't been doing that as much, but I couldn't help but act that way sometimes. This just happened to be one of those times.
"I want to have sex with you, Murph, I really, really, do. But we've only been officially dating for a couple weeks, and I don't want to rush things." Ashton said. He sat up and reached out, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.
"I thought you wanted to, tonight. I thought that was why we - " I swallowed down what I had wanted to say as Ashton cut me off, raising his voice.
"I came over to apologize for getting you in trouble with your mom, not to fuck you!" Ashton snapped, drawing his hand back from me.
"Well, I'm sorry that I thought we had the same idea." I turned around from Ashton and stood up, walking across the room to my dresser. I picked up my shirt from the floor on the way, putting it back on before I searched through my drawers for a pair of pajama pants.
I took Ashton's little coupon out of my pocket and crumpled it into a ball, throwing it at Ashton from across the room. He groaned loudly, but before he could say anything I left the room, slamming the door shut behind me.
I went in to the bathroom down the hall and changed my clothes, not caring if Ashton was going to stick around at this point. I was overreacting, I knew that, and I was trying hard not to but it was difficult. I didn't like the way Ashton snapped at me like that, even though I had done that to him earlier. I really just needed some time to cool off, then I would be okay.
I came back into my room a few minutes later, checking over to hallway multiple times just to make sure my mom wasn't anywhere hear by. Ashton was sitting crossed-legged on my bed with an innocent smile on his face. I sat down next to him, still not saying anything.
Ashton silently passed me the same piece of paper, but this time it said something different. He must have found a marker in my room while I was gone and changed it.
"'5 Free Days'." I read, turning to face Ashton.
"I felt like you deserved an upgrade." Ashton shrugged, biting down on his bottom lip.
I gave Ashton a small smile and moved closer to him, leaning my head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around me. Ashton dipped his head down, his nose brushing against mine for a second while we both leaned in.
"It's late." Ashton whispered before our lips could touch.
"Yeah." I mumbled, pulling away from Ashton. I crawled over to the other end of the bed and pulled the covers down, not bothering to ask Ashton if he was planning on staying.
"I can't stay." Ashton shook his head. He stood up and picked his shirt up off the floor, pulling it over his head in one quick movement.
"Why not?" I asked.
"It's too risky. I don't want to cause anymore trouble." Ashton said quietly.
"Okay, goodnight." I shrugged, pulling the rest of the covers around my body. "Can you turn the light off on your way out?"
"Murphy," Ashton sighed and I shot him a look from where I saw sitting. I wasn't really in the mood for nicknames. Ashton corrected himself, "Dani, please don't do this."
"I'll see you tomorrow." I said. Ashton groaned once more before walking over to the wall on the other side of the room, flicking the light switch off. He used the moonlight seeping through the open window to guide himself over too it.
"Sleep tight, Murphy." Ashton whispered before ducking out the window, leaving me alone.
-
The next morning passed by extremely slow. My dad was on another business trip for the weekend and my mom was out running errands, so I was alone. I was expecting a call from Ashton, even though I knew he probably wouldn't call me at all today. I felt like a jerk for everything that happened the night before, none of it was his fault and I was just overreacting about all of it.
The doorbell rang at around lunch time and I jumped up from the couch as fast as I could, hoping that it was Ashton. I pulled the door open quickly, expecting to see my boyfriend on the other side.
"What are you doing here?" I groaned, seeing that it was only Michael.
"Well, good morning to you too." Michael laughed, pushing past me and stepping into my house.
"Please, come in." I said sarcastically. I ignored Michael as he rolled his eyes at me, carefully taking off his shoes by the front door. It was like he knew that my mom would throw a fit if she found dirt anywhere.
"I heard that you and Ashton hit a little rough patch last night." Michael called over his shoulder as he made his way to the kitchen. He began opening and closing cabinets, searching for something to eat.
"Just a little one." I replied. I followed Michael into the kitchen and sat down on a stool, watching Michael rummage through all of my stuff.
"He came home last night and told me all about it. I didn't say anything back, of course. I guess I'm good for that, people like to just talk at me and pretend I'm listening." Michael laughed. He pulled out a loaf of bread from a cabinet and dragged the toaster across the counter, plugging it into the wall.
"What did he say?" I asked, curious to see how Ashton felt about all of this.
Michael cleared his throat, preparing to imitate Ashton's voice. "'Oh my God, Mike, first I got her in trouble with her mom and then I refused to even sleep over. She wanted to have sex with me but I said no, I mean how shitty is that? I'm officially the worst boyfriend ever, my relationship is ruined and it's hardy even started yet!'"
"That was scary." I said, creeped out by how accurate Michael's imitation was.
"Thanks." Michael smiled, turning back around to finish preparing his toast.
"Did he really say all of that?" I asked. I didn't like the thought of Ashton feeling like it was his fault that we got in this little fight, when really it was mine.
"Have I ever lied to you before?" Michael asked, his back still facing me.
"Not exactly." I said hesitantly. I honestly didn't know if he had or hadn't lied to me in the past, there really wasn't any way for me to figure that out.
"Do you have any butter?" Michael asked, turning around. "I need to butter my toast."
"In the fridge." I nodded, almost laughing at how casual Michael was acting. He seemed to be in a good mood today, maybe he had a good night with his little friend.
"Thanks." Michael smiled. He walked over to the fridge and grabbed the butter before sliding back over to the counter.
"Was Ashton mad at me?" I asked.
"I don't think so. He feels bad for not having sex with you." Michael rolled his eyes, and so did I. Ashton shouldn't feel bad about that, it was a bad idea on the first place.
"He shouldn't." I said, moving a piece of hair out of my face.
Michael shrugged and jumped up, so he was now sitting on top of the counter. "He's scared, that's the only reason why he turned you down."
"Scared of what?" I asked.
"Well the last time he boned my sister she got pregnant, and we all know how well that turned out." Michael said. His eyes got wide for a second, like he couldn't believe he had just said that.
"Right." I nodded. At this point I was seriously wondering what had gotten into Michael, he was acting oddly out of character. "Did you have a good night?"
Michael took his toast out and finished buttering it before saying anything more to me, looking very concentrated as he finished it up. "It was okay." He shrugged. "It just gets boring, you know? I don't always like being so quiet."
"You don't have to stay quiet. You can talk to other people." I said. I didn't get why Michael wouldn't just talk already, he didn't seem to have a problem with anyone anymore.
"I can't just randomly start talking to someone, that scares people." Michael laughed.
"That's what you did to me!" I protested, remembering my reaction when Michael spoke for the first time.
"I had a pretty good reason." Michael shrugged. That was true, he did have a reason for just coming out and scaring me like that. I still think he could have handled it differently, though.
"It was still kind of scary, you were all curled up in a corner and I was just trying to have a nice conversation about Flappy Bird when you decided to go all 'Ashton's lying to you' on me." I sighed.
"Speaking of Flappy Bird, I'm up to about 430 now." Michael smirked at me, taking a bite of his toast.
"How in the world do you do that?" I groaned, "You have, like, magical thumbs or something."
"It takes practice. I don't play it as much anymore, though, so maybe you'll be able to beat me soon." He shrugged.
"Oh, why don't you play anymore? You're too busy with your new girlfriend?" I laughed at the sight of Michael's cheeks getting redder by the second.
"She's not my girlfriend, Dani." Michael whined. He finished up his second piece of toast and retied the bag of bread, putting it back in the cabinet where he had found it.
"Whatever she is, she's certainly made you very happy in the past few weeks." I bit my lip, hoping that Michael would crack soon and actually tell me some more details about all of this.
"Did you know that I play the piano?" Michael blurted out, hopping down from the counter.
"No. What?" I asked. Where did that even come from?
"Oh, well I used to play it a lot when I was, like, 15. I played again for the first time a few days ago." Michael shrugged. He walked out of the kitchen and back towards the front door.
"What does this have to do with anything?" I laughed. Michael sat down by the front door and dragged his shoes over to him, beginning to untie them so he could put them back on.
"My friend has a piano, and so does Ashton. I just don't like playing his because then he'll hear me and try to listen." Michael mumbled, struggling to get the shoelaces undone.
"Ashton has a piano? Where?" I asked. I had never seen a piano before, and I had been over to their house more times than I could count in the past few months.
"Can you do this for me?" Michael groaned, holding up one of his shoes. I took it from him and began working away at the tight knot he had made, repeating my question.
"It's in the back room, we don't go in there anymore because it's where Kenzie used to sleep. After she died we cleared everything out and decided to store some stuff in it." Michael said.
"Oh." I said quietly. I finally got the knot in Michael's shoe undone and handed it back to him.
"It's cool." Michael shrugged. "I like it better that way, it's kind of like she was never there in the first place. It helps."
"Michael, I - "
"Don't be so hard on Ashton. He says he's okay, but I don't think he is. He's still going through a lot and nothing's going to get fixed if the two of you argue about pointless things, like sex." Michael finished retying his shoes and stood up, brushing himself off.
"I'm not trying to start arguments." I sighed.
"Just...please don't give up on him. Not yet." Michael said. He ran his hands through his hair once before opening up the front door and letting himself out, shutting it behind him without saying another word.
-
I ACTUALLY LIKED THIS CHAPTER FOR ONCE THIS IS A HUGE MILESTONE