chapter four
old news/poetry
mia pov
trigger warnings: mentions of suicide
Susan walked up to me, the next morning at school, with a distressed look on her face.
"Choir rehearsal was awful last night..." Susan complained.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Well, it was incredibly awkward between Alex and I, to start off... And his friend made a bunch of comments afterwards. Not to mention, we have to do a lift," Susan rambled.
"I'm sorry, Susan... I'm sure that it'll be less awkward... I mean, you are a performer, right? I think it'll be best just to ignore the awkwardness and pretend that you're not dancing with Alex," I suggested. I honestly felt pretty bad for Susan. I could barely imagine the awkwardness. Luckily, I dodged a bullet by quitting show choir. I most likely wouldn't have to dance with Aidan because of this, and it wouldn't be awkward (or I wouldn't think of it as being awkward).
"By the way, Mia, there were some comments on my post, but none of them gave too much information..." Chris said.
"Wait, information about what?" Susan asked.
"I did some research about the whole Connor thing..." Susan was visibly confused, "The Apple Orchard kid?" I clarified. Susan nodded.
"Why did you do research on the Apple Orchard kid?" Susan asked.
"Because he was my dad's best friend, and I don't think we would appreciate me asking him personal questions like that..." I said, "Chris, what did you find?" I asked.
Chris grabbed his phone out of his pocket, and opened up his blog. I checked the comments under his post.
ben53762: I've driven by the orchard a couple of times, but I don't know the whole story or the deal with the website.
bathb0mb.qu33n.: I asked my dad about it. He said that he was involved with it, at one point, but he doesn't know what happened to it, after "an incident that made them rethink a couple of things"
carsonspetz: judging my bathb0mb.qu33n.'s post it might've been taken down? I can't find anything either. i have no idea what "the indicent" could've been. I'll keep looking...
"Well, I mean... that's something right?" I asked, "I mean, now we know that the website was taken down, because of an incident,' I said.
"Well, we don't exactly know if it was taken down, but I"m starting to think it was..." Chris said.
"Well, if you delete something from the internet, it doesn't go away forever, right? There has to be a way to retrieve that website..." Susan inputted.
"And the incident thing is confusing me... It was a perfectly good organization," I replied.
"I don't know how you would be able to retrieve it... This stuff has been kind of hard to find already, due to its age... The official website might be even harder to find, since its old and deleted..." Chris said.
"That's true... Do you have any other nerdy internet friends that might know? Maybe a teacher or something?" I asked.
"I don't know... I might ask one of the computers teachers or something, later today," Chris said, putting his phone back in his pocket.
"I'm seeing my aunt tomorrow... Do you guys want me to ask her about it?" Susan asked.
"I mean... if it's not too much. If something really did happen, then I don't want to make you, or your aunt uncomfortable," I said.
"I'd say let's wait until we're certain that we've found everything the internet has to offer," Chris told us.
"Do you think the library has old newspapers? I might check it out tonight, if you want,"
"I'll come with you, if you want," Susan said, "I remember them having old newspapers, because I had to look through them for publications, last year."
"I don't think I can. I'm babysitting..." Chris said.
"You're babysitting?" I asked, trying to hold back a laugh, while Susan started to crack up.
"Yes... What's so funny?" Chris groaned.
"No offense, but you are the worst with kids..." Susan replied.
"I hate kids, but I'm getting paid," Chris replied, "I mean, it's an eight year old, and a ten year old, so I mean, the older the better."
"Honestly, me too, Chris," Susan laughed out.
I laughed. Chris was honestly the last person that someone should trust with children. Luckily, they weren't like... babies or anything. I, myself, wasn't a huge fan of kids. I mean, I was fine with kids older than 7, but babies always freaked be out. I dropped one when I was twelve (don't ask), and I've touched one since. Still, I never really thought about that stuff as a teenager.
"Well, good luck, Chris, and I'll see you at the library, Susan," I said.
☼☼☼
People always said libraries were dying, and that all the information that people could get in the library online. I personally, preferred reading a physical book, than something online, or something that I downloaded.
"Oh I remember this!" Susan said, holding up a newspaper from about 17 years ago, so around the time we were both babies. I flipped through the newspaper. Stuff about political events, local businesses, etc. I finally found one page that intrigued me a little bit.
Since I've Been Gone: Thoughts on Life and Current Events, By: Zoe Murphy
As many of you know, I've been gone for about a month. No, I'm not terminally sick, or in trouble or anything. I am perfectly okay (as I've also said multiple times on my social media platforms, but many of you wouldn't be satisfied, until I had something published). I've recently had some family matters that I had to take care of for a while. I don't exactly feel comfortable sharing what's been going on to the public.
Nonetheless, I've been thinking a lot about what has been going on in our world more recently. A young girl, name Cassandra Begicope, recently took her own life. I feel deeply affected by her death, but I also want people to know that she was more than the mental illnesses she was diagnosed with. Cassandra ("Cassie", as many people had called her) was a cheerleader, a Straight-A-Student and she loved playing with her dog. Cassandra kind of reminded me of my brother. Before everything happened with my brother, he was just like any other kid. He told jokes all the time, and liked going to the zoo, etc. Unfortunately neither could be saved. Connor's treatments never worked well, and Cassandra was embarrassed, therefore, she didn't get the help she needed (I interviewed her parents, when writing the new story about her, and they told me that's what her diary said). Therefore, I want to let you guys know that if you need help, don't be embarrassed. Please get help if you need it. It could save your life.
In my recent absence, along with caring for my family matters, I've written a couple of poems, when I had a free second, and that wasn't very often. When I was in college, I started doing Slam Poetry in the next town over. Some of my poems were about my late brother, some were about my boyfriend, who I was dating at the time, after getting back together since high school. Our relationship is a long story, but he earned himself a couple of poems. I've been wanting to get back into poetry, but I've been super busy lately, so I don't know if that will happen. Until further notice, though, I will have my columns, here in the newspaper. I appreciate everything this job has done for me, ever since I stared writing for the newspaper, when I was straight out of college. I'm going to be staying here, for the time being.
Thank you-Zoe Murphy.
"Hey, I think I might've found something in here..." I said.
"What?" Susan asked.
"The author's name is Zoe Murphy... she also talks about her brother... I think she might be Connor's sister..." I explained.
"I think they might be related," Susan replied, as she read the article, "But then again, Murphy is a common last name..."
"True, but I remember an article saying that Connor had a sister. I forget her name though," I said.
"Let's keep looking," Susan started looking through the other newspapers.
We looked for about an hour more, but we didn't get very far. Apparently, the newspapers older that 20 years were kept in the back of the library. It was getting close to 4:15, and I figured that I should get home before my father did. I drove home, quickly, and I got home before my dad.
☼☼☼
zoe pov
I looked through the Word Document for millionth time. This was my chance to get my first poetry book published. I pulled a lot of poems from when I was younger, since I never published them. I still wrote for the newspaper, occasionally, but no big stories, like I used to. Only my small column, every once in a while. I was ready to take my poetry book to get it published, and see where that took me. I wasn't sure if the book would be successful or not, let alone published, but I was willing to give it a try. Sure, I didn't expect it to be the next Milk and Honey, but I still gave it a go.
One of my favorite poems, I wrote during my... absence from the newspaper. It was short, but it had a lot of meaning to me. It was on page 43 of my book, and it was about one of the most important people in my life, in that moment.
everything changes, in this moment.
there was once darkness, but now is light.
i am determined to make this work
for the both of us
Though, when I wrote that poem, I didn't know what would really happen next. I isn't know how my life would be. I just hoped that everything would be okay. I guess that's what most people think, after their life changes. I had some regrets, I'll admit, but I hoping that everything would become better.
In some ways it did, and in others, it didn't.
I emailed the Document to my publisher, and started to worry about the feedback I would receive.