Chapter 9
“Hey Lea I just got the pictures from last Friday from Cat, want to watch them with me?” Lizzie yelled from her room as I entered our home after my run. I walked in and saw her still in her PJ, her hair up in a messy bun and her cup of morning coffie beside her. She was sitting on her bed, legs crossed and her leptop in her lap. I sat down beside her and saw a picture og me and Leo making faces to the camera.
“Look at this one Lea, it’s of you and me up on the podium dancing. It was so fun.” She said pointing at the screen. Last week it was my one-year anniversary here and they wanted to celebrate that. So Christina had made lovely dinner for all of us, Lizzie, Leo, Derek, Cat and I. They spend a lot of the dinner talking about all the things we had done since I came here, and it was actually really fun to look back at. When we were finished we went out to a bar to get drunk and celebrate. Lizzie got me convinced to go out with them way back now, and we do it quiet often. I had to admit I love it. We just dance and have a great time, of cause we drink as well when we can, but usually we don’t drink a lot, we just have fun.
“Oh this one is good. You can see Derek on this one. It was so fun to see his reaction when he saw you shake that sexy ass of yours up there. He really didn’t last long before he got up on the podium with us when we started to dance together. And that boy had sworn to never put his foot on one.” Lizzie said laughing. I remember that as well. It was so fun watching him try to stay away, but as soon there was a boy who tried to dance with me, he lost it and almost ran over to me to dance with me, showing I was his. Not that I minded I loved dancing with him, and he was a really good dancer as well.
“So did you have fun last night?” Lizzie asked me when we were done looking at the photos, putting her laptop away.
“Yeah it was.” I said looking down avoiding looking in her eyes. I had often slept a Derek’s place but last night was different.
“Hey why are you avoiding eye contact? What happened?” She asked turning completely so she was looking strait at me.
“Uhm well we kind of did it.” I said nervously playing with my fingers. Avoiding her gaze.
“Oh my god. Finally. I really admire that boy for waiting almost 7 months. I mean I know he loves you but he still is a boy. But now tell me everything and I mean every little detail.” She said clapping her hands happy. “No wait” She almost yelled holding her hand up getting out of bed. “I’m going to get some breakfest, I was going to make it before you came and can’t wait anymore. You wait here I will be right back.” She chuckled walking out my room. I knew seven months was a long time, and I did feel a little bad about it, but I just didn’t feel like doing it before now, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to, I did. It was just that I knew if I did it, then something would be broken with my mate. Our bond will never disappear, but when you have sex with an other person after you have met your mate you won’t be able to feel the other persons presence as strong as before. But you both have to sleep with someone else for it to work. Only if you are together with your mate again will the bond come back, and stronger this time. But Derek understood that. But in the end I wanted to be with him, I wanted to take our relationship to another level, and it wasn’t like Jake didn’t sleep around I know he did. Before I could feel his presence, it’s hard to describe, but I could feel he was there, I could feel if he was in danger or really mad or really happy. The fact that we were so far apart helped with not feeling each other.
But that wasn’t the only thing, I just hadn’t told him about the other. I needed time to get ready. When we first started going out, if he as much as touched me on my tight or other more private areas I would pull away or freze right away. Even though there wasn't any sexual thoughts about it, I still couldn't handle it. But I had grown a lot since then, and just as slowly I became ready to take the next step with him.
“Okay I’m ready, tell everything and start with the beginning. Lizzie said jumping down in bed a bowl of coco pups.
“Well you know last night after training we went home to him. We both took a shower and while he was in the shower I changed into his t-shirt going my mid tight and underwear under it. When he got out he put ‘fried green tomatoes’ on and sat down beside me.
I think half an hour in the movie he turned around and looked at me. He looked so sweet.”
“You're wonderful” Derek said out of nowhere to me before he lent over and kissed me on the lips. I responded immediately and he pulled me closer to him and ran his hands down my back. I raised my arms and put them around his neck, tangling my fingers into his hair. He licked along my bottom lip and I opened my mouth, he slipped his tongue in and massaged mine slowly and tenderly. The taste of him was amazing as he explored my mouth with his tongue. My whole body was burning wanting more. He put his hands on my bare tights and starting caressing them.
I pulled up straddling him and I could feel him getting aroused so I grind against him and he moaned. We sat there, me on his lap for a few minutes before he pulled away.
“Baby you have to stop now or I won’t be able to stop.” He breathed putting his forehead against mine. I couldn’t help but smile. I could tell by the bulge in his jeans pressing between my legs that he wanted to do more.
“What if I don’t want to stop this time?” I asked kissing his neck and grind against him again. He tightened his hold on me to make me stop moving.
“Don’t tease me Lea I mean it I can’t take it.” He said with a pained expression on his face.
“I mean it as well.” I said kissing his lips. I really did want this, I didn't want to have to think about him every time I thought about sex I wanted to take this step with him and not be afraid.
He kissed me back and stood up and wrapped me tighter in his arms so I wouldn’t fall, lifting me up with him. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled his shirt over his head slowly, my fingers lingering over his skin, making him get goose bumps. He pulled out of the kiss to kiss me down my neck sucking on it giving me a hickey. He reached his bed and laid me down and climbed on top on me as he ran his hands down my body. When he got to the bottom of his T-shirt I was wearing he slipped his hand under tracing it back up my tight making his way higher so he could grip my ass. He moaned as he cupped it in his hands.
I ran my hands down his chest, until I got to his jeans where I hesitated for a moment but then I started to unbutton them. As I did that he stiffened slightly. I rolled him onto his back and sat up straddling him again. I bit my lip. I didn’t really know what to do, we have gone this far before, seen each other in underwear, but never further. I had never been in charge.
“You ok?” He asked me rubbing his hands on my tights reassuringly. I nodded and pulled the shirt I had on over my head slowly so I now sat on top of him in my panties and bra. I bent down and kissed him hard and he rolled on top of me again. “You sure you want to do this? I can wait, we don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”
“I want to. Unless you don’t want to?” I asked biting my lip. I mean I was a pretty messed up girl I would understand if he didn’t want to.
“Of cause I want you. Any guy would be crazy not to want you.”He said kissing me hungrily massaging my breasts, he unclasped my bra pulling it off slowly as if he was waiting for me to stop him. He bent his head kissing all over them sucking on my nipples making me arch my back and moan. He kicked his jeans of and ran his hand down my body stopping as he got to my panties, his hand brushed over them gently making me raise my hips trying to get more. God that felt good. He smiled slightly as he robbed me through my panties making me moan and grip a hand around his shoulder.
I kissed him passionately showing him how much I loved him. He hooked his thumbs in my panties pulling them down slowly giving me time to stop. He kissed down running his tongue across my breasts and down over my stomach pausing to bite just below my belly button making me gasp.
He sat up and pulled my panties the rest of the way off and just looked at me. It was total embarrassing just lying there in front of him without any clothes on. “Your so beautiful Lea.” He said as he moved to hover over me pressing his knee up between my legs making them open wider. He slipped his hand down between my legs and started rubbing me gently again making me gasp and grip around his shoulders pulling in his hair, damn that felt good. He worked his fingers down towards my core and pushed one finger into me gently. He flicked his wrist round the other way and rubbed me with his thumb as he pumped his finger inside me slowly.
I traced my hands down his chest making him shiver slightly, as I got to his boxers I slipped my hand inside and griped hold of him tightly. He grunted as I dig so and trusted his hips a little forward. I started stoking him gently as he kissed my breast. Pleasure was racing round my body. I had dreamed about this moment for some time now. And it felt ten times better than I could have ever imagined.
My breathing was getting faster I was almost panting. I was wriggling my hips as he continued to work with his hand. Something was building inside me, he was pushing me towards something and I knew it would be good.
“Oh god Derek.” I panted as my body felt like it exploded, I arched my back and gripped him tightly as I cried out. He smiled and kissed me. When my breathing was back to normal I pulled him to me hooking my legs around his waist. He pressed himself to me, I could feel every inch of his body against mine. He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me tenderly slipping my tongue into her mouth. He pulled quickly away to put on a condom and then he was back hovering above me. I could feel him lined up at my entrance.
“You sure about this?” He asked breathlessly. I could feel the slight pressure where he was ready to push in. “I’m sure.” I said pulling him down to kiss me again. He kissed me tenderly and then pulled his face back looking into my eyes. He trusted forward and it felt amazing. “I love you Lea.” He said kissing me sweetly. He was so sweet.
His tongue messaging mine. I felt him pull out and push back in gentle and it felt amazing. He started to trust in and out building up a gentle rhythm. Pleasure shooting to every nerve ending. I was gasping and moaning with each trust. Derek kissed down my neck and sucked on my breasts making me moan louder. “God Lea you feel amazing.” He whispered in my ear nibbling on my earlobe sending shivers down my spine.
I started to raise my hips to meet his thrust. My god! My body was throbbing and I couldn’t help but moan. His chest and back was slick with sweat I couldn’t keep still. He thrust forward hard and I climaxed my body shattering. Derek gasped as my wall contracted around his shaft. My shaking and convulsing making him finish too moaning in the back of his throat.
“Well and after we just laid in the bed for a really long time. Not saying anything just enjoying having the other one that close.” I told Lizzie, I had told her everything that happened before and then skipped the action.
“Oh that’s so sweet. I whish my first time was like that ass well” Lizzie said smiling big. So did you just do it that one time or did iy hurt to much after your firt time?” She asked raising her eyebrow. She didn't know he wasn't my first, nobody knew, I hadn't told anyone.
“No… We did it in the morning too.” I said embarrassed.
“I knew it. Now if you will be so kind to move your sweet but out of my room so I can do my homework.” She grinned winking to me.
“My pleasure.” I said almost running out from her room into my own where I fell down on my bed.
I hadn’t told her about what happened a little later, before we went to sleep. Derek was laying with me in his arms tracing his fingers up and down my sides when he suddenly stopped and traced his finger over my scar on the back.
“Lea.” He said just as quietly. “What happened to you? Won’t you please tell me?” He asked nuzzling my neck with his nose. I didn’t want to tell him, but maybe it was a good idea to finally tell someone about it. Maggie and Nate has seen some of my scars but they never knew how they god there. I think Derek is the first to see all four.
“Um. One of the places I lived when I moved around was very violent. They almost all where, but this one was the worst, and the man who lead the place gave them to me.” I told him not wanting to go into details. He tighten his hold on me and shut his jaw tight together.
“Even this?” He asked tracing his finger over the one on my inner tight.
“Yes. That was the last he gave me.” I told him looking down embarrassed. He just hugged me and kissed my neck making me feel better. I’m thankful he didn’t ask any more questions. I knew he wanted to and I could feel he was all tensed and mad. But he knew me and he knew I didn’t want to talk about it.
That scar was the worst one. Not physically but psychically. To this day today I still think it’s my worst memory.
He had been mad all day. No one dared to look at him or talk to him. We all knew we just had to step the wrong way once and we would be punished when he was in this kind of mood. I had survived now almost two weeks without being stabbed by him and I was a nerve wrack.
It was finally night and time to sleep. I was wearing a t-shirt there was way too big and underwear. All my clothes where too big. I was just about to go to bed when my door slammed open and there he was. Looking mad like hell. When he saw me he looked me up and down and sat down on my bed pulling me with him. He was sitting beside me and I had no idea what to do, this had never happened before. He usually only was with me to beat me or cut me open with his knife. I knew I didn’t have to get this many beatings by him if I just did as I was told. But when the smaller children was beaten or their food was stolen from them I just couldn’t help but help them out. And unfortunately I almost always got caught, because he gave the other children a reward if they told him about me. There was almost always one not involved who saw me help.
I was pulled out of my thoughts about the other children when he put his hand on my tight. “So Lea. What are your experience with boys?” He asked moving his hand further up my tight. I froze. What the hell was he doing?
“I- I don’t have any.” I said looking away from him.
“Well that’s good, then I will be the first.” He said crashing his lips against mine. I didn’t respond, I couldn’t. He pinned me against the bed and I couldn’t do anything. His tongue came out and licked my lips. I didn’t open. I didn’t want this. Why was he doing this to me, I’m only 14. I’m not pretty and he hate me.
“Open your mouth for me.” He said getting up looking scary as hell. When I didn’t do anything he bent down and bit my lip so blood came out and he forced my mouth open.
I whimpered and tried to shove him away from me, but nothing happened. He didn’t even budge an inch. I tried again and this time he pulled away, but only to hit me on my check.
It didn’t matter how much I tried to get away, his blows and the weight of him told me I couldn’t stop what was happening. I cried silence tears as his hands travelled down my body. I knew if I cried out loud it would only get worse.
In the end I just laid there not able do anything just waiting for it to be over. Or waiting for a miracle that never happened.
The dirty used feeling fell over me and made me close my eyes as he continued going in and out making the pain worse with each trust. He kept whispering in my ear I should be lucky he would do this to me, that he would properly be the only man who would ever be with an ugly girl like me.
When he was finish I though he would leave me alone, but I wasn’t that lucky. He took his knife out and started to slowly cut in my upper tight. “This will leave a scar and is prove that we have been together, it will tell everybody that you belong with me.” He said getting up leaving me trembling and crying on my bed.
I got shivers just by the thought of that memory. By doing that he had taken the last pure thing I had left. He kept r*ping me the following 3 months every week. Some times I was lucky and there would go more than a week before he was back. Each time he would cut my wound open to remind me no one could ever see me without clothes because then they would see my scar. After those 3 months someone had discovered how he punished us and used us and closed down the place and I was transferred to the place where Louise found me not many months later and my life changed for the better.
I tried to shake all thoughts of back then out of my head. I had IW training later and I needed my head clear of all thoughts that could distract me. Two months ago the take outs for IW took place and the alpha had convinced me to try out. Leo and Derek didn’t think it was a good idea because they could still take me down. But I got in, and one month ago training started. It would take 12 months for us, but when we are finished we can start taking jobs. It’s not only fighting with your body you are learning. We are learning history of the wolfs, how to fight with knifes, shoot with bow and arrow, how to lie, be able to tell if other people are lying and a lot of other things.
Today we where learning to shoot and I was really looking forward to it. I got up put from my bed to take a quick shower. I was still a bit sweaty after my run. When I got out I put some loose shorts and a tank top. “Lizzie I’m going now. See you at dinner.” I yelled over my shoulder as I walked out the door.
When I arrived Leo, Derek and some of the others had already shown up. We where 11 on the team, Leo, Derek and I the only one from around here, the rest only lived here for this training, they came from all around the country.
“Hi guys.” I said walking over to them, I was the only girl in the group, at times it was great, I had my own changing room and stuff like that, but other times I really needed an other girl.
“Hi beautiful.” Derek smirked walking up to me kissing me on the lips brining his arms around me pressing me against him.
“Guys please stop that.” Leo whined. “I know you’re together but please she is like a sister to me. And I don’t want to see my sister making out with anyone.” He said pleadingly. I couldn’t help but laugh. Leo gave Derek the whole father lecture when he discovered we had been on dates and often scolded Derek if he was touching me and he saw it.
“Okay folks listen up.” Joy shouted. Joy was an old IW, and was our trainer. When his mate and him got children he retired and started to teach. “Today you’re going to start learning how to shoot. We are starting with the rifle today and will later move on to other kinds of guns.” He told us sternly as he gave us our rifles. He gave us all the info we needed about them, safety and taught us how to hold.
“So the loser buys dinner tonight?” Leo asked teasingly. He just couldn’t help himself, he had to be best at everything.
“Deal” I said blinking walking over to where I was going to shoot. I had never shot anything before and was actually excited to try it out. I stepped up to the place and got in position. I had no idea if I was doing it right but I pressed the bottom and it fired. It hit, it was fun, it was a crazy feeling that I hit it. We had one paper and 5 shots per paper. The most points you could get on one were 50. After six rounds it was time to stop.
“So what did you get? Could you get the paper at all?” Leo asked smirking to me.
“You guys start.” I said sticking my tongue out. Sitting down on the table beside them.
“I got 259.” Derek said shrugging. “I got 264.” Leo said smiling wickedly.
“Well I guess you two have to pay tonight then. Course I got 271.” I said smirking getting up walking over to my bathroom leaving my papers with them. I knew Leo would want to tjek if I were lying.
“No way she actually had 271 point.” I heard Leo yell before I walked away. These classes was going to be fun.