Chapter 16
Alyssa
So I've been quite busy with my studio since the grand opening and haven't had much time to myself. I've been constantly doing interviews with major people and getting a lot of recognition. I'm very proud of myself for accomplishing something that I have wanted for so long. Ryan hasn't got much of attention since that night and I think it's starting to bother him.
By the time I'm done at the studio, I just go home and go to sleep then do it all over again the next day but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love what I do but I do need to learn how to balance my time.
I decided to take a break today because it was very needed plus it's Sunday. I cooked myself breakfast this morning and turned on the TV to just chill. As I was getting ready to take a seat on my couch someone knocked on my door.
I rolled my eyes as I went to go get it. I checked through the peephole then opened the door to see Ryan there in some sweats and white t-shirt.
"Hey Ry, what are you doing here?" I asked as he walked in.
I closed and locked the door behind him.
"I haven't seen you in a good week so I just thought I'd drop in on you. Who you got all this food for?" Ryan asked.
I made more breakfast than I should but I wasn't expecting anyone to come over.
"Oh...I just made too much." I told him.
Ryan glanced at me then looked around. I walked over to him.
"What's the problem?" I asked looking him in the eyes.
"I don't have a problem but I'm hungry." Ryan said.
"I'll make you a plate."
"Thanks baby." he said walking to my room.
I had a lot of food. I made pancakes, eggs, bacon, fruit salad, sausage and a few waffles.
After I made his plate I went and sat on the couch with our plates and drinks. Ryan came and sat next to me on the couch then beginning to eat his food.
"What's going to happen with us?" I randomly asked as ate our food.
"What you mean?"
"Like are we going to be doing this long term or is this something temporary?"
Ryan sat back on the couch and glanced at me.
"Where is this coming from?" he asked.
"I just want to know where my life is heading romantically. I want to be married with kids some day and I don't want to waste my time anymore." I said.
"Waste your time?"
"I didn't mean it like that...I just don't want to put my energy into someone if they don't plan on sticking around long term."
"So what exactly are you trying to get out of me? What's your question?" Ryan said.
"Do you want to be with me for the rest of your life? I wanna get married, buy a house and start a family."
"Yeah, I wanna be with you but you shouldn't rush that kind of stuff on a person."
"I'm not saying I want it tomorrow or anything but I know I want it someday. I just don't want to wait forever. It's almost like if you know you've met your soulmate then why are you waiting to tie the knot."
"I honestly don't want to be married right now to be honest with you." Ryan told me.
"But that doesn't make any sense. If you know you want to be with me forever and we are going to get married eventually...why put it off for years?" I questioned.
"Alyssa, it don't work like that."
"Are you scared of being with one person for the rest of your life?"
"No, I don't have a problem with that. I know I have some work to on myself and I know I'm not ready to get married nor have kids. I'm just not trying to do that right now."
I just stared at him because I was starting to get a bit confused.
"I'm not trying to force it on you, I'm trying to understand. I have work to do on myself as well. We have work to do on our relationship." I told him.
"Exactly we gotta work on our relationship before we jump into something like that. You gotta crawl before you walk. I don't think you understand the magnitude of fully committing yourself to one person forever. Things change once you live with a person and everything is not always going to be good. I would just hate to rush into that then it end up going downhill."
"Ry, I'm not saying I want to be married with a new house and a baby on the way in the next 6 months...I just don't want to wait years with you before we finally get married or something. I feel like you'd wait 10 years to marry me."
He laughed and rubbed his face. "You gonna stress me out about this Alley. Why can't we just focus on what we got now? I'm here and I love you. That's not going to change."
"Not being married also says that you're still on the market for someone else to get a chance."
"You scared I'm going to meet someone else?" he asked.
"No, I'm not. I don't think you're understanding what I'm saying."
"Nah, I do. I just don't want that right now. I wanna be with you."
"So what if I meet someone and he gives me everything that I've ever wanted from you in the next year?" I said.
"Really Alyssa?"
"Yes really."
"I mean when did we start seeing other people?"
"I'm just speaking hypothetically."
"There's nothing I can do but move on and respect your decision." he said.
"So you wouldn't care about me marrying another man and having kids with him?"
"I may care for a little while but I can't be worried about it forever. So say you go and start your own family with someone else...would you be mad at me if I had got engaged and shit with a pregnant fiance?"
"Why would I be mad if I'm enjoying my own family?"
"That's a lie, you'd be pissed off."
I rolled my eyes. "Hmm, what if you knew the guy I would be married to?"
"What if you knew the girl?" he said.
"Who would the girl be?" I asked raising a brow.
"I'm not about to play into your little games. You know what's up."
"So what are you gonna do about sex since I'm waiting until I get married?"
He smiled. "That's not a problem for me Alyssa."
"What does that mean?" I said.
"Don't worry about it. You need to stop worrying and let shit fall into place, okay?"
"Umhm, whatever."
Ryan pulled me into his lap and started kissing on me.
"I promise if you keep it off your mind then it'll happen when you least expect it baby. I love you and I don't want to be with anyone else. Let's just enjoy this right now and worry about that later. It'll come eventually." Ryan told me.
"Okay babe, I'll take your word for it." I said kissing his lips.
***Short update! How do you all feel about their conversation?? Let me know! More updates coming.***