"Don't stay out too long."
"Oui maman, (Yes mum)."
She worriedly watched me walk out the door. After hearing the news, I decided to go out to get some air. Mum understood that I needed a little time alone, so she didn't ask where I was going or when I intended to come back. What made the situation more difficult to tolerate for me, was that during our move to the new house, I lost my necklace. The present dad gave me on the day of my 12th birthday, the last thing I received from him. With the house gone, my necklace was gone with it as well.
As I stepped out, I saw Sam standing next to the car, waiting for me. Clearly he already knew what mum was going to talk to me about, and guessed I would want to go for a drive. Knowing about my secret escapades to our old house, he sometimes caught me sneaking out, and drove me there. It's difficult to describe what Sam is like to me. All I can say is I'm really glad he is a part of my life.
"Where do you want to go?" He asked as he opened the door for me once I was close.
"I don't know," I answered looking at the car.
"Miss, are you OK?"
I turned to him, trying to figure out just how many times I had told him to stop calling me "Miss", but he never did. He worries too much. He takes care of me like I'm a fragile glass cup that could break at any given moment.
"I'm fine Sam."
"You don't look well."
I forced a smile on my face to reassure him.
"I'm going to walk," I said. "It's better for thinking."
"Are you sure?"
I nodded.
"Fine," he reluctantly replied. "Have a nice day Miss."
"You too Sam."
The journey to our old house on foot is about 15 minutes. That's where I was heading, but I was hardly aware of what I was doing, or where I was going. I was lost in thought. I knew the most important thing was that dad stayed in my heart. However, I couldn't help but think that maybe it was time for me to grow up and let go, move on. Still, I would have loved to see him one last time even for a few seconds. Just to tell him how much I love him, to beg him to sing me a song one more time. But I had to become stronger, and realize that I'll have to go through life without my daddy.
It's not like you're the only person in this world without a father, I tried to put things into perspective. There are so many other people without dads, and they live just fine.
Suddenly a beautiful but painful memory flashed through my mind.
"You look so cute," dad said to my nine year old self, as I showed off the tee-shirt he had just bought for me.
It was a simple white tee-shirt, on which the words "daddy's little girl" where written in italic pink letters. I still have it hung carefully in my wardrobe.
I can't do it, I cried innerly. I need him. How can I be daddy's little girl without... No, I can't do it. I can't-
The loud sound of a car horn brought me back to reality. I was in the middle of the road, standing in the way of a velvet blue convertible in full speed. I stood there petrified with fear, as I knew it was too late for the driver to stop.
****************
Tiffany, you are without the shadow of a doubt, the most amazing girl I have ever met. I'm so glad our paths crossed that summer morning.
First off, I'd like to start with a little disclaimer. Yes, I know how to seduce girls. I know exactly what makes them swoon, what makes them go "aww". Plus, it is true that in my short life, I have dated my share of girls. However, even though I have the symptoms, I am not a player.
Tiffany is the first girl, the only one I have ever been genuinely interested in. The first girl I actually wanted to make all the necessary efforts to win over. I've always heard from my dad that men are hunters who go out of their way to get what they truly want. When a man finds a woman he really likes, he would do anything for her, wait for as long as it takes, to get her, undergo any kind of discomfort just to please her. I personally had never felt anything close to that for a girl before. I had never felt that urge. So everything dad told me had remained nothing but theories.
At least until I met her. Tiffany kindled a fire in me. She awoke the hunter that was hidden away in me. The one who would go through anything to capture his prey. My prey, was her heart. In spite of the obstacles that laid ahead I didn't pull back, on the contrary. My reasoning was that if she's so well guarded, if it's so difficult to be acknowledged in her life, it means she most definitely is worth having.
Tiffany and I met in a very random way. My parents decided to move, because my dad got promoted. We moved into town during summer, in the beginning of the holidays. My last year of high school was going to be in a town I knew nothing about, within a new environment. A few days after the holidays began, I decided to take a little stroll downtown to get familiar with the place.
It was a sunny day, a little busy, as there were a lot of people around. A new beginning was exactly what I needed. I breathed in the fresh air, and started humming to myself as I walked. I admired the beauty of the town, the tall trees, the lovely parks, and the amazing statues.
"Oops," I jolted a bit as I noticed a young girl had bumped into me. "Sorry."
"Uh," she uttered before walking past me.
I don't think she realized I was there. She looked so dazed as she kept on her lifeless walk, dragging her feet like she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders.
That was how I met Tiffany.
I looked at her go. In spite of her slow unappealing walk, the summer breeze made her long silky dark hair dance gracefully. A little smile curved my lips. I hardly caught a glimpse of her face, but her hair was alluring. I made fun of myself for drooling over a girl's hair instead of her body or face like a normal guy would. She stopped for a moment, her shoulders drooped and she looked up to the sky. She stayed that way for a little while, then continued walking again. I don't think she noticed that there were other people on the sidewalk. They had to move aside in order to let her pass, because she was clearly not in a normal state of mind.
"What is she doing?" I murmured wondering if there was something wrong with her.
I decided to turn away and continue my stroll, but my body didn't move. My eyes didn't look away from her. She stood out in the crowd, not because of her sluggish walk, but because of something I just couldn't put my finger on, there was something about her. She caught my eye.
"Pole...," I muttered as I watched her slowly walk towards one.
Isn't she seeing it?
Clearly she wasn't. I rushed to her, though I could have walked and still would've caught up to her in time. As soon as I got close I slightly pushed her shoulder guiding her to the side just before she hit the pole.
"There's a po...," I trailed off as she kept walking not noticing my presence.
How does she intend to survive the rest of the day like that? I thought to myself.
I once again made up my mind to turn away. There was no way I was going to follow her around like a creep. Alas, yet again I couldn't look away.
What if she actually hurts herself? I started to worry.
She was a couple of steps ahead of me, in front of a restaurant. A group of friends came out laughing and joking around. They didn't noticed her. She got pushed and deviated from wherever it was she was going. Carried along with them like a little lost duck on a stream, she just followed the current. They went to the zebra crossing, and the group of friends stopped as the light was red for pedestrians. But she just kept on walking. Captivated by their games, they still didn't notice her.
"Car...," I whispered warning her as if she could hear me.
I could see it coming in full speed, a velvet blue convertible. She didn't stop until she heard the loud long sound of the car horn.
HOOOOONNNNKKKK!!!
She just stood there. By the time I fully came to, and realized what I was doing, my legs were already running to her, and my hands pushed aside the few people that were in my way. My mind was all over the place, calculating if I was going to make it in time. I felt adrenaline flowing through my whole body.
Hurry. Faster.
I had to reach her in time. I had to make it. If not...
Vroooom!
The high-pitched sound of the car passing by made my heart almost explode. I had never felt that way before. Anxious, afraid, but relieved. I was able to make it in time. I heard the murmuring of the group of friends behind me, and some other pedestrians.
"Got you," my shaky voice uttered as soon as I had pulled her into my arms and away from the road. "That was close."
She was squeezing my shirt tightly like it was a rope she was hanging onto from a cliff. She was in a state of shock, slowly realizing what had happened.
"Oh... Oh my g- Wha... What ha- How did I- Qu'est ce qui s'est passé? (What happened?)"
French?
"Hey, hey. Calm down," I held her by her shoulders, slightly shaking her to bring her back to reality. "You're OK. You're fine. No scars, no broken bones."
She looked up at me, and her crystal grey eyes met mine for the first time. It struck me how pretty her face was, I can't dare to describe it, because my words won't do it justice.
"Plus de peur que de mal, (more fear than hurt)," I smiled to her.
"Oh?" She seemed surprised. "You... You speak french?"
"Well," I shrugged. "Un peu (a little)," I answered with fake modesty.
She let out a stifled laugh.
"Thank you... Er..."
"Orson. My name's Orson."