Chapter 3
Early the next morning, I rise from my bed chamber with a funny thought on my mind. Maybe I didn’t have to dread being married to Leodáin. Sure, there was always the off chance that Leodáin may still be a complete and utter ass, but from the display I had seen from him yesterday, I couldn’t seem to find any trace of the old Leodáin; the one who would humiliate anyone for his own advantage, who would harass anyone who didn’t please him, even a woman where it was clear that was well below the line of what was acceptable.
But even when I decide that being married to Leodáin wouldn’t be the end of the world, I realize that I didn’t want to be married at all. Well, not yet anyway. I mean, for a woman in this, the first thing that she should do is always find a husband who could provide support and a home. Because for us, love and marriage were always a rare find. But for Leodáin; well, I knew the reasons why he had to marry. Of course, it was accepted that a King may be unmarried when he takes up the throne, but it was hardly something that anyone encouraged. Though the women for most families were there to cook, clean and take care of the household, for royalty there was certainly a bigger part to play. Queen Ava was an example of that.
During the day, I watch the servants of the castle make preparations for the ball tonight. Nobles were arriving at a fast rate, many of whom I was sure I was to be expected to have to make small talk with them tonight. Hopefully, my part would not go farther than looking pretty and smiling occasionally, letting my father do most of the talking.
When I’d arrived yesterday afternoon, I’d made it to my chamber without any commotion. The only person I needed to convince I was alright was Siobhan when she’d taken the duty of undressing me from my ragged dress. I assured her that I was completely fine, that I’d gotten carried away playing in the trees with the Sprites and Pixies. That made her hush, though she knew it was unacceptable to believe in those kinds of creatures in this day and age, she always encouraged me to follow my heart.
Only once through the day did I see Leodáin again, but this time he did not see me. He was busy greeting nobles and instructing people about the place. For a while, I simply admire him; admiring the way he’d grown up. He was still young to be a man, but a man he certainly was, even if his face still showed signs of immaturity. The way he held himself and guided the people around him; that was enough to make everyone believe that he was truly going to make a great King.
As soon as I have made it to my chamber when the Ball is due to begin soon, Siobhan attends to me without hesitation. Though over the years we had shared stories of the Forbidden Forest, tonight there are none to be shared, as we are much too preoccupied to pay attention to another story of her adventures and discoveries.
Siobhan adorns me in the dress I had brought the day before; a fine ivory burnet gown with a golden metallic brocade. The skirt was longer than most I had worn before, and trailed along the floor. The long delicate sleeves draws attention to my thin wrists and the tight bodice accentuates my slim waist. The gown was overall a little demure, yet seductive. And to finish the look, my emerald brooch, sitting it precisely in the top middle of the bodice.
Siobhan makes an effort at adapting my long hair from its usual straight down in curls to pinning half of it up in a modest twist and left the rest falling down towards my small waist. When I look at my reflection, I see how the warmth of my dress brings out my emerald eyes and makes my skin look soft and alive. I was beautiful. My father had always dressed me in cooler colors like blues and deep greens. But this time, I really noticed how they had made me look washed out and tired. Now the difference seemed immaculate.
“You are beautiful, little lady,” Siobhan says and smiles to me, using my old nickname.
I smile back, and give her a peck on the cheek. “Thank you, my friend.”
My father walks into the room then and when he catches sight of me, he holds out his arms to me and smiles, “You look so beautiful,” he tells me.
I hug him back tightly and smile too.
Siobhan tells us good luck tonight as my father escorts me out to the doors of the Great Hall, waiting outside for our names to be announced. I had learnt that over the years when every noble that arrived at the kingdom had their full name and title announced as a sign of respect and recognition. It was the same process now.
I am a little confused, however, when my father’s title is announced and my name is not. My father sneaks a wink to me and walks gracefully through the doors, leaving me in the foyer.
I wait awkwardly for a moment after he leaves before my name is announced also.
“The Lady Daniella Charushëela of Edenmora, daughter of the Duke of Edenmora,” says a voice from the room and I walk into the room.
The doors open up to a small balcony which leads off onto a grand staircase into the Great Hall. I stare out into the applauding crowd and lock gazes with a pair of dark eyes from the middle of the room. The eyes of Leodáin.
His eyes did not look cunning nor annoying. No, the look that I could see on his face was shock. Then slowly admiration as I slowly descend the stairs. I see his open disbelieving mouth stretch into a warm smile and I fight the urge to return it. I can feel my heavy beating heart start to buckle as we continue to stare at each other. And I was dreadfully hoping that it has nothing to do with the beauty of his flawless face.
Slowly, I realize that the music had started up again and everyone resumes mingling with the people next to them or continuing the traditional stiff dance to which I resist the urge to roll my eyes. I meet my father at the bottom of the stairs and he leads me through the crowd; me following his lead at mingling with the different nobles, but my eyes still continue to search for Leodáin’s. Though he does not link eyes with mine all the time. Instead, I try and not feel a pang of frustration when I see the number of young women attempting to flirt with him. Eventually I manage to break the spell of my annoyance and socialize with the members of the court.
Only a small while after my entrance, Queen Ava enters the ballroom.
“Her Majesty, the Queen of Brotànïa,” says the same voice that announced my father’s and mine and I watch as the aging Queen enters the room.
Instead of waltzing down the stairs as almost everyone else had done, she lingers on the small balcony, the same genuine smile I had seen so many times still planted on her face. “Thank you all for attending this evening, it gives me great pleasure to see so many of you again after all this time.”
The crowd applauds at her words.
“Further more,” The Queen continues, “I have received news this very morn that our soldiers fighting in the battle fronts for our neighboring allies are finally returning home, after a long and cold war, though many were lost, we will honor their courage and bravery for our county’s safety.”
The crowd applauds at this also, though I seem to feel grief for the lost men – their futures now cease to exist. Having to know that they could never hold their loved ones or live a long and happy peaceful life, while we were busy having a birthday celebration, made me feel a small sickness in the pit of my stomach. I lower my head in sadness.
“Most of all, I would like to thank my son, Prince Leodáin,” she gestures out into the audience, “for without his help, this splendid event would not have brought us together. As future King of Brotànïa, I believe he will bring great changes for our future.”
Hesitantly, I turn to face Leodáin, though I cannot find the urge to applaud along with the crowd. Instead, I study his manner, the simple way he smiles pleasantly to his mother and around him, but not looking as though the attention gives him all the smug satisfaction in the world. Though when his eyes meet with mine, I can’t help the flush of color on my cheeks as I realize he caught me staring.
I try to ignore Leodáin as we enter the dining hall. I sit to my father’s side, as per usual and strive not to let my eyes wander in search for Leodáin’s.
But my eyes were cheeky and spot him across the high table. He is seated at the other end of the long table from me, so we wouldn’t be forced to make polite conversation, but it doesn’t stop us from locking eyes, even when we are facing the same direction towards the nobles in the tables in front of us.
Throughout dinner, I would unconsciously cast my eyes over to Leodáin and he would meet mine for a brief moment before I would drop my eyes and blush again.
Stop looking at him, I scold myself, but my eyes wouldn’t listen.
When dessert is finished, the Queen stands up in her chair in the center of the high table and everyone almost immediately ceases their talking.
“My son would like to make a very pleasing announcement,” she says, gesturing to Leodáin at her side, who then stands up where he is, gazing out to the crowd with the look of a man who was about to be pronounced King.
I watch Leodáin with caution as I ponder what he is planning on doing. Did he plan to make a speech to his mother about one of her many birthdays?
“When my father was full of youth, he knew he needed to seek the best for his future. Though he was a Duke from the east, and not in line for the throne of Brotànïa, he spent much of his time at court, learning what he could. This was where he met my mother,” Leodáin looked to the Queen, “whom was the next in line to the throne as there was no male heir to follow.
“She made a right decision, marrying my father. Though he could never be King of Brotànïa, he was a very loving husband for my mother, which made his passing all the more sad for us. I was only five when it had happened, though I learn now what was really lost,” he bows his head in sadness, and for a moment, I wish I could comfort him, but I quickly push that thought aside as I repeatedly tell myself who he is; my childhood enemy, don’t put all your faith on his looks.
“Knowing that Brotànïa has not seen a King in more than half a century,” Leodáin continues on, “made me realize I need to make a strong decision as my mother did.
“It is this that makes me want to bring a speech to you tonight. I had not planned on this decision in my past at all, though I stand before you now, wishing to introduce our future. Daniella,” my head snaps back into abrupt focus, as he brings me into everyone’s attention, “would you stand for me please?”
After a long and powerful moment of shock and hesitation, I shakily stand on my legs, almost pleading for what I thought he might say not to be said. Though at the same time, I am caught in a trance of longing to join him.
“I would like to bring our attention to Lady Daniella Charushëela, daughter of the Duke of Edenmora, and my future wife,” he concludes.
Everything seems to slow down in a time lapse in front of my eyes. People start applauding and cheering. The Queen’s genuine and sweet smile seems to explode on her face in happiness, and my father’s expression manages to mirror hers, as everyone stands around us in a clasp of ovations. The only ones, apart from me, who are not applauding is the daughters of the nobles who I’d seen flirting with him before.
But my eyes are stuck on Leodáin’s, whose expression seems to be full of happiness and pride. However, my emotions seem to differ easily and slip from my control, into disgust at the thought that he has made himself a god in the courts eyes, using me as a pawn, without consulting me first. I hold back my rage quickly and replace it with bewildered equability.
“Wait!” I almost shout.
The applause slowly stops, almost hesitant at first, as my voice starts to sink in. My shakiness lengthens. But before I can get any further words out, my father thinks better of my exclamation and interrupts my motives.
“Of course, this is a big step to be made, though it has been planned for most of your lives, my darling,” my father looks at me with cautioning look.
“I know that, but my question is why should you leave it up to us to finally decide? Why not enforce it on us like some legal requisition?” I know I am far out of line for bringing this up in front of the entire court just after our dinner, but I couldn’t seem to reign myself in.
“This is hardly the place, Daniella,” my father keeps his voice calm, but his look is almost pleading.
“I just want an answer,” I push.
“Because we wanted you to love each other first, so then you can rule this country for peace and democracy and not for hatred.”
“But does he love me?” Now I look to Leodáin, who seems shocked by my question. The room is deadly silent at our bickering. Yesterday was nothing if all he can decide upon our marriage was that we can live among ourselves without fighting.
Leodáin is completely tentative at this before answering. “It took me many years to work it out, but I finally realize that you’re all I could ever want.”
I want to melt at his words, but I keep my control, as I push for a better answer. “What makes you say such a thing?”
“Well, I….uh…I think you are beautiful.”
Again, his words are melting my heart. “Is that all I am to you?”
“What else could there be? Beauty is what matters…doesn’t it?” He seems to be questioning himself and not so much me. But his response is answer enough, feeling myself break at the recognition.
I nod, not in approval, but in understanding that the marriage couldn’t work out. I look to the Queen as I say my next words. “I wish to withdraw the proposal of marriage indefinitely.”
And then I rush out of the room, with hardly an explanation or a reason to excuse myself, but as I begin to leave the room, I could hear the courts talk start up again, but this time, in shock and disbelief. Most likely at what I had just done. A woman should never speak to another man in such disrespect, especially when that man is in higher ranking. But I didn’t care, I never played by the rules and I couldn’t bring myself to accept the marriage knowing that he was doing it out of vanity. He might as well marry a painting – that’s what they are there for, for our admiration.
Well, I was not going to be a painting, I laugh to myself as I tried to figure out where I could go.
I need to get out of the castle. To the forest.
Running out a back door, I manage to find my familiar place of sanctuary.
Though I could clearly see the dark grey clouds of the rains billowing overhead, I sit with my arms wrapped around my knees under the full moon peaking out from behind the clouds, next to the fringe of the forest and the bank of the river. I knew that I could be easily ruining my dress, but I made sure that I didn’t by sitting on a flat rock – even though I wasn’t really ever fond of dresses, I couldn’t bring myself to ruin the fine material the tailor made for me. Who knows how much money is thrown away on such a petty thing as dresses? I knew Father spent fortunes on me. The thought of my father makes me bring another wave of unhappiness.
I ran into my own shame, buying a dress that Father and the Queen would want to market me off to Leodáin, as though this is how the marriage should be refined.
At that moment, I almost truly hate my father. I knew he wanted the best for my future – the very best – but preparing to be Queen was never something I had wanted on my agenda. I wanted to be free. I wanted to run like the wind, without bodices, long difficult skirts, guards, walls and the watchful public at my tail. I wanted to fly – like a bird. At that moment – I was jealous of the Sprites and the Pixies.
Why couldn’t I be as simple as them? Small and unnoticeable. To be able to pull pranks on people and to slip around playing games rather than worrying about gowns and weddings. And wars. That was almost inevitable in every state of mind and the sudden thought of the soldiers who had been forced to fight for our safety and who had died for that same reason brought tears to my eyes.
“Are you crying?”
I jump at the sudden voice that had practically come out of nowhere.
I stare at Leodáin, who in turn stares at me. Quickly I fumble a response. “No.” And almost to discern my argument, I wipe my eyes.
Leodáin looks at me with a mix of pure concern and admiration. The silence seems to drag on and I fumble with my skirt awkwardly.
After a long silence, he finally speaks, "Lady Daniella,” his voice manages to change the atmosphere, “will you have this dance with me?”
I regard him skeptically and then decide to play along. “But my lord, there is no music.”
“So?”
“So…how can we dance when there is no music?”
He shrugs as though it is no big deal, but offers me his hand despite my words and I take it after some due hesitation. When his hand touches mine, I feel as though it was yesterday all over again. Like as though his touch was what was keeping me standing on the ground.
He pulls me close to him and he places a hand on the small of my back, leading me in a slow waltz. I quickly forget that there is no music; instead, my focus is on Leodáin.
There must have been something happen in the past three years since we had last seen each other. His maturity almost feels as though it outshines the sweetness in his eyes and even in his stride did he look fit to be a King. He is tall, my eyes managing to only reach to his shoulders, making me lean my head back to look at him. His hair is long and dark to his shoulders and his eyes – dark like the night sky, as I stare into them; I feel I can get lost in them.
I already am.
“When you asked me why I thought you were all I wanted…” he pauses, thinking through his words, “What was it that you wanted me to say?”
I stop dancing, and so does he.
“You know why,” I tell him.
“Actually, you never seemed to give me an explanation. You just asked me why and I told you that you were beautiful. I don’t understand what you wanted me to say.”
I sigh. Men were always the same. They must only see things black and white – a simple life. “I need to know that you love me…not for beauty or rank or anything like that…but for me being me.”
A long silence follows as he takes in my words, processing them carefully. The longer he ponders, the more surprised I am. He is taking me seriously. This has never happened before. Well, maybe yesterday he did.
Finally, he answers, “I am so sorry for the way I treated you over the past few years. You never deserved that.”
I stare at him, refusing to move my face even a millimetre, but he continues without missing a beat.
“It took me a long time to realize who you were to me. I always hated you because you seemed to be the standing point between me and my freedom. To me, everything you did seemed annoying or not worth my time.”
My face moves: a hint of a smile. “I felt the same way,” I tell him, understanding his frustration, but also appreciating his honesty.
He smiles at this, “But now I realize that it was inevitable that I was never going to have that freedom like a normal person would. I was going to be King – and a King never had the free reign like that. I am going to rule a country. And when I finally stepped into those shoes, I stopped being so immature and selfish and started working at the court. I still didn’t like you, but not for any particular reason. Just because I had held onto some childhood emotion.
“But when I saw you yesterday, I realised that the things I found annoying and frustrating to me were petty. After so many years – which can change a lot – I realized I didn’t hate you anymore. Because I had changed myself, I had started seeing the world differently and that is what changed my perception on you. I realized that you were never ever ugly like I had thought. You were always beautiful. And you still are. And when I saw what those men were going to do to you, I broke. Later on that day I told myself that it was the rightful thing to do to anyone, that if anyone else had of been in that situation, that I would have saved them just the same. But no matter how many times I told myself that, I knew that what I was truly thinking at the time was ‘Not her’. I followed you yesterday because deep down, I knew that in the past that I would never have hurt you, but upon seeing someone else pursue you like that…” He shakes his head as though the thought was his worst nightmare.
“And even tonight,” he goes on, “I acrually found I wanted to see the things you did that used to make me cringe. The way you push your haur behind your ear, the biting of your bottom lip, even the way you used your hands. I found these things you did reasons why I adored you. They made me both want to cry and to laugh. I saw how you mingled with all those people and you hated every minute of it. I saw how you longed to leave and be away from there. But you did it for your father. After all these years, I realized how much you wanted to please your father and you were not the selfish person that I had thought I saw. That you truly wanted your freedom as much as I."
It sounds less like he is telling me his life, and more like he is telling mine. As he countinues to pour out his heart, I am shocked just how much he and I were alike.
“I was so entirely wrong. You are such a beautiful person, and I don't just mean your looks. Its your soul. Gosh, I never thought I'd be saying this, but your soul is just the most beautiful thing I can imagine. When I look at so many of the women who try to win my affection, they're souls are sickly and full of treachery. But you in comparison, are like an angel.
"I can’t blame you for hating me like you did. I was never ever kind to you, I always harassed you and thought you deserved it and now when I think back to when you got revenge on me for those things, I fully realize now how much I deserved it,” he laughs and the sound feels dazzling to my ears. “Again when I realized all of this, I knew I had to make you mine and I knew that our parents would be proud. But when I saw how upset you were by that, I wondered whether you felt the same for me.
“I think I’m falling in love with you, Ella. And I can’t seem to see my life in the future without you in it.”
Though I remain skeptical, I can't help but feel stunned by his words. He really has changed. I had never thought, say, five years ago, that he was capable of that many words. And hearing the small nickname he gave me sends shrills of happiness through me.
I give him a small smile and place my hands on either side of his face. “I don’t hate you, either, Leo,” I smile broadly at him and his smile matches mine.
His hands reach up to touch mine, rubbing circles of comfort on my knuckles, yet he never takes his eyes away from me. And before I fully understand what is happening, I see his face bending down slowly towards mine. His lips are parted and his eyes begin to close and I feel the breath leave from my lungs as I feel my eyes closing over.
But before his lips even touch mine, I feel the heavy and gradual raindrops falling on my face. We both open our eyes in shock, looking up to the skies with our arms out wide as though we were embracing it, and for the first time in our lives, we are laughing together. And not just the little giggles at some joke, but a hearty laugh, as though all our negative thoughts were being forced out of our system, washing away our uncomfortable past, leaving happiness in it wake.
After a long while, Leodáin grabs onto my hand and turns to begin to head back to the castle. But I didn’t want to go back just yet. I didn’t want to have to face all that again.
Instead, I yank on his arm, pulling him back to me and pull his face down to crush my lips to his. And he very rapidly responds, kissing me back eagerly.
I’ve heard of some forbidden romances, of how when they kissed, it felt like a fire dancing between them. It felt more than that. It felt as though the world was moving. It felt as though the world was melting away from us, that all was left was just us. My heart beats furiously against my chest and I feel my hands run through his long hair and hold him to me, not liking any distance that threatened to get between us and by the way his hand wraps around my waist, holding me to him, I realize that he disapproved of distance as well.
I forget the rain falling on us, not worrying about catching a cold, because the heat coursing between us is enough to keep me stable and warm. And in this very moment, despite what I'd told myself for years, I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. When he said that he was falling for me, the sincerity that burned through it seemed to almost be unbearable. And when I had said that I didn’t hate him anymore, I had never said anything so truthful and sincere. Because very gradually, I felt my heart beats faster and faster, and I could feel Leodáin's heart do the same. Maybe Leodáin wasn’t the only one who was falling in love right now.
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Naw, so they're finally together?
Comment and vote!