I'm really, really sorry that I keep delaying the chapters. Very sorry!
Here's thirty-eight. It's heartbreaking. It's difficult to get through. I cried while writing. Enjoy. I love you.
P.S: I'm sorry, again.
They slept for a few good hours, peaceful hours. A couple of minutes after three a.m, Nora's phone began vibrating on the bedside table. It took her a minute or so, but once the second call came in, she groaned and turned over. Groggily, she answered it and her brother's frantic voice had her immediately sitting up. "Nick..."
"She's in the hospital, Nor—it's mom. It's bad..."
"No...no, she was—I just saw her, Nick, she was fine a few hours ago!" Harry began to stir awake. "She was fine, so what's wrong? What the fuck happened?"
"Nora?" Harry sat up, concerned now. "Baby, what is it?" She put her hand on his knee as Nick continued to explain what was going on.
"I don't know, dad called me about an hour ago and told me. I'm in a cab right now, on my way there."
"Where is she? What hospital?"
"Manhattan General," He answers, "Last time I talked to dad, he said she was still unconscious..."
"What about Lara and Eric? Where are they?"
"There. Lara told me to call you, she's a mess. Nor, you have to get there." Harry was slipping out of bed now, shuffling around for his clothes.
"I'm coming—I'll be there soon."
"I'll see you there." Nora hangs up the phone, and fearful tears begin to fall from her eyes.
"It's my mom." Harry nods.
"I know." He helps her off the mattress. "I'll call a driver."
"You're coming?" He looks at her like she's lost her mind.
"Of course, Nora." She bites her lip and nods. She throws on a pair of jeans and a cut-off flannel of Harry's while he slips a t-shirt on over his head and runs a hand through his bed head. "You okay? Are you ready?" She wipes at her tears.
"Mhm." He takes her hand and together, they hurry downstairs. Once they're safe inside the awaiting black SUV, he wraps his arm around her. His lips stay pressed to her hairline for a good few seconds before she leans closer into him. "I'm so afraid...I'm so scared, Harry."
"I know, angel...I know." No more words are spoken until they get to the hospital. Harry keeps his hand locked around hers as they walk inside and as the elevator takes them up to the fourth floor—the Intensive Care Unit.
"Hi, my mom is here..." Nora says, sniffling. "Samantha Dodson?" The receptionist nods, solemnly.
"She's in room 47, right down this hall. You're family is there now." Still hand in hand, they hurry down the corridor until they come to her room. Lara sees her and stands up first. The two sisters hug for a long time, then Nick, Eric and Elijah take their turns greeting her and Harry.
"What's going on? How is she?" Nora asks as she moves to her mother's sleeping side.
"She's hanging on." Elijah chokes.
"What happened? She was fine tonight...how did this...why is this happening?" Harry hates the sight of her tears and the brokenness in her voice.
"Her organs are shutting down. The cancer has spread." Eric answers for the rest of the family, seeing as how Elijah, Nick and Lara are unable to do so.
"So, what does that mean?" Nora shakes her head, "They gave her months, so why now?"
"Nora, there's nothing they can do, except make her comfortable."
"She's not comfortable, she's fucking dying!" Harry steps towards her and his hands carefully pull her back. "When is she going to wake up?" Eric shakes his head.
"No...no, no, no! She has to wake up—oh my god—she can't just die, she has to wake up!" She pulls away from Harry's grasp and goes to her mom. She gently cups her pale face in her trembling hands. "Mom, please wake up...please, I need you, okay? I need you, please..." She breaks down now and once again, Harry's right behind her. His hands pet her hair back and he soothes her quaking, weeping body. Nora continues to cry and beg her unconscious mother to stay with her and to wake up, but to no avail. Eventually she drops down and Harry catches her, she kneels down and buries her face in his lap and he bites his lip. Lara stands behind him, her hand on his shoulder and her face in her husband's neck. Elijah and Nick stand on the other side of the bed, silent tears streaming down their cheeks.
"Is everyone here?" The doctor asked as she stepped into the room. Elijah spoke for his family.
"We're all here."
"First off, I am so sorry for what you're all going through. I know this isn't easy." Nora sits up and scoffs. "Samantha has a DNR in place, and a specific order to not be left on life support. Now that you're all here, I'm so sorry, but it's time to say goodbye—"
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Nora spits, angrily. Harry stands up with her and try to bring her back to him.
"Nora..."
"You can't fucking tell us when to say goodbye, I'm not ready—none of us are fucking ready!"
"Nora, baby, please..." He tries again.
"She's not ready...you gave her months—you gave her fucking months, how is this fair, how is this happening?"
"Nora, I understand that you're upset. This is not easy, I get that, but this is what your mother wanted."
"She didn't want this. She wanted to live...she wanted to fucking live and you couldn't do your fucking job—you couldn't save her, so fuck you, okay? Fuck you, Doctor Calloway!" Harry used as much strength as he could to pull her into him and away from Samantha's oncologist. Nora sobbed. "Fuck you and fuck this stupid fucking hospital..." She was limp in his arms before finally breaking free. She stumbled out of the room and Harry followed her. He grabbed her and held her against his chest, but instead of fighting it, she melted into him. "I don't want to say goodbye...I can't..." He shushed her.
"I know, baby. I know, I know...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"I don't know what to do...what do I do? How do I do this—I can't do this! I can't, she can't die—oh god, she can't fucking die."
"Shh, shh..." He coos against her hair. "I know." Nora wails, like, quite possibly the most painful sound Harry's ever heard. She screams into his chest and he holds her as tightly and as safely as he can. He remembers Samantha's words from when he was visiting her during chemo. That girl is so strong, but she needs her mom. She's always needed me most out of my three children. I worry so much about her, especially if at some point, I'm gone. He feels her breaking, he feels Nora, quite literally, breaking as each second passes. She's crumbling and he isn't sure how to fix it. He doesn't know what to do. Nick comes out and he puts his hand on her back.
"Nor, please...she's hurting. She's still hurting. Please?" Finally, she nods and the three of them walk back into the room. Doctor Calloway continues speaking.
"I think it's best that each family member take a few minutes with her alone. Take your time." Everyone leaves Elijah first. He comes out with swollen, wet eyes about five minutes later. then Lara goes in, followed by Nick and Eric. Harry kisses Nora's head before she trudges in. She sits beside her mom and she gathers her hands in her own.
"I don't know how you expect me to do this...I don't even know what to say. I feel like there's so much to say...so much I have to ask you, but..." She stops to cry into Samantha's shoulder. "How am I supposed to live without you? How am I...I can't, mom. I can't do this. I'm not strong enough. I am not you. Harry is going to want nothing to do with me at the end of this. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I don't think I could handle a broken me. If you die, I'm going to break, mommy...and I don't want to break. I don't want to live without you, so please, they're going to unplug you...so, can you at least try to fight? Can you try to fight for us? I'll do anything, okay? I will. I'll go to college and I'll get a real job...I'll be good. I'll be so good...but please, god...please, just stay." She kisses her hands and lays down, her head flat against her mom's chest. "I love you so much. I love you so much, mom. Please don't leave me, I need you. Please." She begins to sob once again, unable to stop. Harry peaks in and then walks towards them. He puts his hand on her back and she sits up. "You can...say what you need to say. I'll go outside." She manages to stagger out and Harry bends down.
"Knowing you...was such an honor, Sam. Thank you for loving me like a son, and thank you for trusting me with her. I'll never leave her side, I promise you. Rest well, please. We'll miss you so much...I'll miss you. So much." He leans down to kiss her head and then he walks out. Nora is in a fetal position on the floor against the wall, her face buried in her knees and the rest of them are gathered near her. Doctor Calloway walks up once again and nods for us to follow. Everyone does, except for Nora. He walks over and kneels down. "Come on, love." She shakes her head.
"I can't just stand by and watch...I can't, okay? I can't."
"Are you sure?" She nods. Being right outside the room, they can still hear the steady beeps from the machine, very clearly. He sits next to her and drapes his arm around her back. She lets him close the distance between their bodies, but she keeps her face in between her legs. Harry watches as one of the nurses assists the doctor, slowly unplugging each wire. Soon, they're done and all anyone can do is wait. Wait and watch the life escape from her cancer-ridden body. Her heart rate begins to slow, as if everything is moving in slow motion. Maybe it is. But they become slower and less frequent, until there's nothing but silence. Elijah collapses beside his deceased wife, Lara sobs into Eric's shirt and Nick stands seemingly emotionless in the midst of it all. Harry stands up and walks over to him. When he sees his sister's boyfriend, the tears begin to fall. He wraps his arms around Nick and they hug each other tightly. He begins to breakdown and Harry lets it happen. He lets him cry and cry and cry. When he pulls away, he wipes at his eyes and shakes his hand.
"Thanks for being here, Harry."
"I couldn't imagine being anywhere else. I'm here if you need me, mate." He walks back to Nora, who hasn't moved. She's silently crying, her tears have created an actual puddle on the floor. He stands there, above her, helpless and unsure of what to do. He doesn't know how to take the pain away—he can't. He can only be beside her. He doesn't know what else could be done.