Prompt: Simon manages to get all the Sidemen together for a Q&A, and one of the questions is "if the Sidemen were actually a family, who would be who (father, infant, teen daughter, etc)". How do the Sidemen respond to this question on camera, and how do they respond off camera?
Bonus- For explaining why everyone would be what you say in the family.
Bonus- For doing either a video clip or off camera game of "house" throughout the Sidemen house.
Bonus- For incest... Or friendcest I guess XD.
Choice N/A with all Bonuses
"Hey guys and welcome to a Sidemen Q&A! I have done a Q&A with everyone solo but now we're all here so, yeah." {AN- Why yes, I did rewrite Simon's intro to the Q&A video. Why have I done this to myself.} Simon had moved around during his intro, signalling around the couch throughout it. All seven Sidemen had managed to all come together on one day in the Sidemen House. It took them forever to finally schedule a day where they could all visit, but they had finally made it work. They had even cleared out their schedules for the next day as well, so they could all hang out again. They made their way through the Q&A with only a few hiccups, but that was expected from the group of seven boys. There was a couple of questions that wouldn't make it into the final cut, some just too boring or too much for YouTube. The only one that wouldn't fit that description was quite the, odd question.
hopestar524: if the Sidemen were actually a family, who would be who (father, infant, teen daughter, etc)
The boys all seemed to become awkward about the tweet, looking around curiously. JJ was the one to break the crippling silence, laughing loudly at how one simple question could stump all of them. The others all began laughing too, Simon making a comment about how they'll just skip that one. They flew through the rest of the Q&A, leaving the boys all to lounge around on the couches around the room. JJ decided he was going to plop himself on top of his tall, blond friend who simply groaned. JJ shifted to get comfortable, the older boy ended wrapping an arm around JJ. JJ happily snuggled into the other's chest, Simon rolling his eyes.
"Jide, you're so gay." Simon's words earned a laugh from Ethan, who was sat close enough to hear. JJ groaned, turning so he could respond.
"You've never had an issue with that in the past, especially whenever we share a bed for the night and-" Simon pushed JJ off of him, stopping the darker skinned male as he rolled off the couch in a fit of laughter. Ethan was laughing as well, Simon's cheeks tinted pink.
"What'd I miss?" Harry asked, turning from where he was curled into Ethan. His pillow was moving to much to cuddle with now, making Harry a little upset.
"Oh my god, they've so fucked!" Ethan's howl of laughter turned Simon's cheeks to a brighter red, the tall boy trying to reach over and smack the younger boy. JJ was now crying from his spot on the floor, Harry began to laugh too. Josh chuckled once, drawing in Tobi and Vik closer.
"I hate you all." Simon grumbled, sitting completely on the couch with a pout and his arms crossed.
"Oh really? You weren't saying that last trip when-" Simon launched himself off the couch and atop JJ, hand covering his mouth. He could feel JJ still laughing below him, the blond moving to straddle the shaking younger.
"Jide I will kill you!" Simon's threats were met with more laughter from the boy below him. Simon removed his hand, and immediately regretted it.
"If you kill me you'll have no one else to fuck you."
"Oh my days!" Simon collapsed forward, resting his head in JJ's neck. The younger was still laughing, barely getting words out through his own cackling laughter. It took a while for him to calm down from his state, the whole while Simon laying on top of him. JJ began to carefully rub the small of Simon's back, letting the blond relax fully onto the other boy.
"If we were really a family, who would be who?" JJ's question seemed out of place and completely random. Only Simon ended up hearing it, the others having ventured off into their own conversations. Simon lifted his head from JJ's neck, looking at the younger curiously. He knew JJ well enough to know his mind would wander, but it still fascinated him how quickly the younger could change.
"Well, our first problem would be it being very illegal, seeing as everyone in this group is gay for one or two others." JJ chuckled at this, but Simon could see he was still thinking about it. "Ignoring that, I'd say Josh is the dad and Tobi's the mum." JJ nodded, a smile on his face.
"It fits them so well. Josh with his random bursts of odd behavior and Tobi watching over the rest of us." Simon nodded, moving to snuggle back into JJ's neck. "What the hell would I be?"
"The oddly philosophical young adult. You know, the kid who's just gone off to college to follow his dreams and kinda acts all over the place. In all reality, you still pretty much are." JJ laughs lightly, hand moving under the back of Simon's shirt to rub the skin.
"If that's the case, you're the sarcastic and witty teenage daughter."
"Hey! I'm more flirty than witty, give me some credit." JJ laughed, laying a kiss on the blond's head.
"Whatever you say, Si." Simon mumbled something into JJ's neck the younger couldn't understand. "I'm thinking Vik also gets to be a teenager."
"Yeah. He's that kid that really worries his parents because he's always working on something." Simon spoke when he turned his head up, locking eyes with JJ.
"The one they swear is dead sometimes because they never come out for food?"
{AN- For anyone who may not know/ call it something else, a tween is someone aged from about ten to thirteen. It may be a bit earlier too, it depends on who you ask.}
"Yeah. And then Harry is definitely a tween. During those years where you have no sense of self control and you feel invincible." The pair chuckled at how accurately it described their youngest friend.
"Not to mention those awkward phases every tween goes through. I swear Harry's still going through them some days." Simon laughed a little louder at that, gaining some attention.
"Why are you idiots still on the floor?" Josh's words held an underlying tone of concern.
"There ya go. Josh is definitely the dad." JJ pointed out to Simon, ignoring the question.
"Yeah, as if it wasn't painfully obvious before. Now what's Ethan?" Simon looked toward the ginger boy, staring him down. Ethan felt a little uncomfortable under the judgement.
"What are you talking about?" Tobi asked, sitting up from where he was leaning completely against Josh.
"If we were a family, what we would be." JJ explained, contemplating what Ethan would be.
"Illegal, that's for sure." Vik piped up, still seated on Josh's lap.
"That's what I said! We're ignoring that part for now. Hm, I'm not sure with Ethan." Simon added in, finally looking away from Ethan. Harry now looked at him observantly, a face of thought evident.
"I'd say he's a tween. Ya know, at that point of life where you're easily triggered by everything, but still laugh a lot. Seems right." Harry commented, Ethan looking at him in feign shock.
"I am not easily triggered."
"Babe, how many times a day do you scream at your computer?"
"It's because it's been stupid! It's not my fault." Ethan pouted, Harry kissing his pouted lips.
"Behz, you're easily triggered. I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, but you needed to know." Ethan gasped, clinging to his younger boyfriend tightly.
"No, it can't be! How, how could this happen?"
"It's simple: you never aged past twelve years old." JJ's joke earned laughter from Ethan, who collapsed to be laying on the couch with Harry on top.
"Wait, so are you going to tell the rest of us what we are or are we gonna guess?" Vik asked, looking down at Simon and JJ.
"So long as you'll all agree to spend a day playing family tomorrow." JJ spoke up before Simon could, earning incredulous states from the others.
"You do realize that would mean no cuddling or kissing, right?" Simon spoke up, moving so he was hovering over JJ once more.
"Yeah, but come on. It'll be fun!" Simon shrugged, and everyone else agreed to trying JJ's idea. JJ then explained who everyone else was, Vik whining afterwards.
"So Josh and Tobi get to cuddle and kiss, but the rest of us can't?" JJ nodded to Vik's question, the small boy letting out another whine.
"Relax, Vikky. You'll be fine." Tobi mumbled to the younger boy, kissing the top of his hair gently.
With that settled, they recorded videos for all the other channels and set off to bed. Harry and Ethan spent the night in Simon's room, the tall blond instead sleeping in with JJ. Josh, Tobi, and Vik all slept in Vik's room, seeing as Josh's was smaller than the rest. They all fell asleep after enjoying the presence of their loved ones, knowing in the morning they'd have to pretend they weren't together.
JJ woke up with the dumbest smile on his face, excited for this day. He shook Simon awake, the blond waking up slowly.
"It's too early for this!" Simon groaned, not even bothering to find out the time.
"See, you fit the teenager's role perfectly. Now get up, I need coffee."
"Fuck off with your coffee, let me sleep!" JJ wasn't exactly sure if this was just a rough waking up for Simon, or if he'd started playing his role for the day. Either way, JJ shrugged it off and went downstairs. Upon descending all the steps to the kitchen, JJ was met by the sight of Harry running around rampantly while Josh tried to cook some breakfast. Tobi was helping out where he could, mainly just grabbing out any ingredients Josh may need. JJ ruffled the youngest's hair as he passed, earning him a whine.
"Don't mess up my hair! It takes me a while, ya know." JJ chuckled at the comment, setting out to make himself a cup of coffee. While the warm beverage brewed, he found himself off in his own world thinking. He hoped today would be fun, but he wasn't completely sure. Harry bounced- and I mean literally bounced like a kangaroo- over to JJ, snapping him from his mind.
"Whatcha gonna do today, Jide?" Harry looked up to the older hopefully, even if a part of him hoped JJ would go out so they could stop this.
"Probably gonna stay in today. Don't feel like going out and about, ya know?" Harry nodded, and he quickly moved on to the next thing.
"Whatcha making, Dad?" Harry added on that last word after much deliberation. He couldn't decide if he was willing to call Josh Daddy or not.
"Dad's fine, and I'm working on pancakes right now. Tobes, can you pass me the eggs please?" Tobi nodded after Josh spoke, handing over the eggs he had already cracked for Josh. "Thanks babe." Josh gave Tobi a light peck on the cheek, earning a noise of disgust from Harry.
"Ew, gross! Kissing is weird. Can I have an egg?" Josh and Tobi shared a glance, and Tobi turned to Harry.
"Hazza, you know we can't trust you with an egg."
"But I wanna go wake up Ethan!"
"Even more of a no, then. Let Ethan sleep if he wants to."
"But I want Ethan awake!" Harry's whining was way too realistic and way too heartfelt, JJ decided, to be ignored.
"Come on Harry, how about we wake up everyone once Dad is finished making the pancakes. For now, I know something fun to do. Follow me!" JJ led the way out of the kitchen, an excited Harry following. Tobi chuckled at the two, leaning his head against Josh's shoulder.
"You're some mum if you can't cook."
"Fuck off, you know I'd burn the food. Besides, fuck gender roles. Guys can do the cooking sometimes too." Tobi mumbled against Josh's shoulder. Josh laughed, finally mixing up the rest of the pancake batter.
"Alright babe, whatever you say. What's the saying again, happy wife happy life?" Tobi smacked Josh's arm lightly before moving away to set up the pan. "Be careful babe, the pan might light on fire if you're not careful with it." Tobi made a motion like he was going to smack Josh with the pan, but stopped as he heard footsteps approaching. He placed the pan carefully onto the stove, adding butter before he turned on the stove. In through the kitchen door came Vik, looking both refreshed and exhausted. And after their night last night, who could blame him. Vik walked in, eyeing the coffee before deciding against it and grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. Vik closed the door and began to walk off, but Tobi called out after him.
"You'll be joining us for breakfast in ten minutes, won't you?" Vik yelled out a small yes before footsteps ran upstairs once more. Tobi sighed, and turned to Josh. "If we ever adopt, none of them are allowed to turn out like Vik. It just might break me." Josh chuckled, pouring the first pancake into the pan.
Within five minutes, a loud call was heard throughout the house. "Pancakes!" Josh's voice echoes down the corridors of the house, earning grins on both JJ and Harry's faces. The two ran to the hallway, sharing a glance.
"You get Ethan, I get Simon?" Harry nodded at JJ's suggestion, happily running off to wake up the other boy. JJ sighed as Harry disappeared into Simon's room, soon after walking into his own. His relief stemmed from the fact that Simon enjoyed sleeping naked, and he often forgot that when he'd first get up in the morning. He didn't want Harry seeing that, for both his own sake and Simon's. JJ entered his room, closing the door again behind him. Simon was sat up on the bed, tapping away at his phone. "Who ya texting?" Simon looked up when JJ walked in, before looking down again and finishing his text. JJ's phone buzzed soon after, a text from Simon displayed.
Hi. It's lonely up here, wanna come up and hang out?
JJ laughed, putting his phone back down. He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the blond next to him. They enjoyed a few moments of silence before JJ acted.
"Get your ass us, kid. There's pancakes downstairs." The words were paired with a shove, one that had Simon off the bed and on the floor. He was stuck in a tangle of blankets, all perfectly placed to cover himself.
"Fuck off Jide!" Simon exclaimed, disentangling himself from his sheets. "For that, I'm stealing your clothes today."
"Isn't that a little odd, ya know?" Simon grinned at the question, quickly replying back.
"Aren't you a little odd, ya know?" JJ shook his head, entering his closet and pulling out some sweats and a hoodie. He threw them at the other boy, who now lay naked upon the floor.
"Get up and get dressed before I go eat your breakfast."
"You wouldn't dare!"
Meanwhile, over with Ethan and Harry, Harry wasn't having much luck. He couldn't figure out how to wake up Ethan without his usual kissing him awake tactic. He stood there for a few minutes, finally deciding how to accomplish his goal. Harry carefully climbed atop Ethan's sleeping figure, trying not to wake him up yet. Harry carefully leaned forward and stopped his mouth close to Ethan's ear.
"It's time to wake up, Ethan! Wakey wakey!" Harry shouted into the older ginger's ear, beginning to bounce on the stomach he was sat on. Ethan groaned, grabbing the younger boy on him.
"What the hell Boggy. I was sleeping." Ethan mumbled, pulling the younger flush to his body. Harry wiggled free from his grasp, standing up beside the bed and shaking Ethan.
"There's pancakes, Eth! Those are much more important than sleep!"
"Alright, alright. I'm up! Jesus, Bog. I'm coming." Harry let out an excited squeal, bouncing on his heals by the door as Ethan dragged himself out of bed. The pair soon found themselves downstairs, pancakes decorating plates on the table. Harry and Ethan were the first people there, both choosing seats near each other. Josh walked in soon after, carrying the plate of bacon. He laughed at the two younger boys, telling them to wait for the others before they began eating. Next came IN and Simon, the taller blond talking the other's ear off. JJ simply shook his head at the snide comments, sitting down next to Ethan. Simon sat across from him, still bothering him about whatever they were discussing earlier. Josh had chosen his seat at the head of the table, sitting between Simon and JJ. He rolled his eyes at the two bickering, not even trying to follow their conversation. Finally, in came Tobi, dragging a reluctant Vik behind. Vik sat beside Simon, Tobi sitting at the other head of the table. They all looked to Josh, awaiting his signal to begin eating. Josh nodded, and they all dug in. Their breakfast conversation consisted of a lot of Harry talking with his mouth full, Josh scolding him for that, Simon teasing Vik about how he assumed he was dead up there, Vik rolling his eyes, Simon moving to tease Ethan instead, Ethan getting upset, and either Tobi or Josh telling Simon to cut it out. JJ spent most the meal quiet, enjoying the fact that they were all together for once. Simon noticed his silence, and decided to address it.
"Whatcha doing? Daydreaming about someone?" Simon spoke with a smirk.
"No, just enjoying that everyone's here, together, for once." JJ's response got a small look from Simon, showing he felt the same but wouldn't admit it
"Wow, way to ruin my joke." Simon mumbled, earning laughter from JJ. This was all he'd ever need, all in that moment. To him, this was a family. A group of the people who love each, all spending time together. He loved this, and he loved that they were all together.
One big, happy family.