Thank you @Naw-March for the great song choice.
The doomed Oak.
Embedded deep within its flesh the chain of silver stuck halfway in its trunk. This Great Grandfather Oak has been sitting here for generations after generations weathering storm after storm without worry until I came along to destroy its hold on the world.
Looking at the ground not far from the hand is a new seedling trying to take hold in the shadow of this massive tree. The Old Oak will wither and die now, unable to overcome the massive injuries it sustains, but in its death, this new sapling will take its place and grow just as great as this tree it came from used to be.
The Moon's full body is shining down her lunar light bathing the world in her full power. Nature's disturbing voice is lifting up into the sky as if the pitch is with triumph.
Hormones receding
The violent pain no longer there to twist and curve my spine in back arching agony.
Undercurrents of discomfort remain, hardly anything can compare except the birth of my wolf that is on a comparable level of what I just have experienced. Odin has his hand splayed out on my lower abdomen feeling each contraction of muscles that are spitting, pumping out the nest he could have filled up with a Future.
Another gush of blood washes out the remnants of my nest that took the entire month to build up only for a Future that I never wanted to implant but now I feel a sudden loss of what could have been.
Taking a minute maybe three to get ahold of myself, wiping away the raw crescendo of tears that have cascaded down my cheeks causing the dirt to cling to the skin in a muddy embrace.
Odin's chin resting on my head, his body curled into mine, holding me. His chest is heaving up and down, with every spasm of my lower abdomen, bunching tight only to try and force any remnants of tissue outward. Nothing is left, and now even those muscles that were flexing hard have started to relax its fibers.
Rapid and dense his breath clings to the night air so much so you can see the vapor of it before it disappears into the changing season that's becoming cooler with the way Winter is leeching into Autumn, sucking it's warmth away.
A stretch of leg, has his stretching out with mine. A shift away from his warmth has Odin's movement mimic my own until we are once again pressed tight together.
A fine layer of dirt seems to be coating my mouth and lungs making swallowing difficult. There is a profound dryness to the inside of my throat that hurts with its need to be quenched.
Sliding once again away from Odin, getting into a kneeling position. He kneels with me, so we're facing each other on bended knee. The dirt not only clings to the side of my cheek but his as well, an uneven path where his watery path leaked out of eyes that couldn't hold the overflow of emotion.
Taking something out of his pocket, noticing my blood all over his pants makes me feel slightly embarrassed, even though it's a natural thing to go through. Odin seems not to be bothered by it as if it's his blood that's leaked over him and not the product of an unsuccessful conception.
Taking my left hand in his, he undoes the thick silver shackle that binds me, what's left is a band of fur that is sewed with sinew, primitive in nature. A clawed nail cutting through the ties, eyes of dark green inspecting the skin carefully looking for any burns that silver can bring to unprotected flesh. Not even a hint of red to say silver was against me.
A soft kiss is placed on my beating pulse before he unlocks the right wrist, tearing through the fur band. Inspecting carefully, exhaling out when his eyes can't fall on anything out of the ordinary. Placing another kiss to the radial pulse that's bounding with the flush of blood that's racing through it.
The fur that was placed there has done its job; I won't be scarred from silvers heavy touch.
Ancient forest greens regard me in the full light of the Moon.
Slow motion the way his hand comes to my cheek to brush the soil that's clinging to it. A fingertip lingers at the edge of my mouth before sliding it across my bottom lip.
"Can you forgive me?" Odin's words are hitting towards my heart, eyes showcasing his hurt. Nature's voice hushing in the air while the powerful light of our Full bodied Moon drenches Odin's feature in illuminating brilliance.
None of his characteristics are hidden, sharp features edging out. Underneath the chisel of him is a look of worry, of vulnerability that is crystalline clear. He cares about how I will answer him. His shoulders are back, spine straight, eyes never wavering from mine. Odin pulls in a deeper than normal breath, the chest rising, holding the air in.
He's prepared to take a hard-hitting blow, which he assumes will come.
"Yes." Saying that one word has him exhale out, long and slow.
"I should get cleaned up." Trying to stand up, the ordeal my body has just gone through it traumatic, causing legs to shake almost to the point of failing.
"I'll help you." Odin rises with me, even though his legs mimic mine, the strain of standing, shaking those muscles that seem to be exhausted.
He tries pulling on the chain that's stuck in the bark of the tree; he's unable to move it even an inch. Solidly stuck in it's resting place. Odin's eyes assess me, "you're very strong Charlie. I'm counting on this strength when I come for you."
"What happens if I decide not to come with you?" Can I see a sense of loss filter across his face before being hidden from view?
"Charlie, it's the way it's done, always will be done. The female comes to the males pack. I'll be the Alpha soon, and I will make it easier for you to see your family more. You can still enjoy the study of plants but as my mate." Odin's watching my face.
"Our land is so vast Charlie that it would take you years and years to see everything it has to offer you. It would be my honor to take you to all the places I know you would appreciate the beauty of. Our pups will grow fat on the abundance within our territory, the plants in all their varieties can be cataloged in your books. I will even help you sketch them if that's what you want. We could do this together, learn things together." A vision he's trying hard for me to see about our future together.
"I've made us a home, Charlie. A home I think you would like. A place you would feel comfortable in." Taking the first step towards the cottage Odin is by my side walking with me.
"I'll miss my family." The soft crack is not missed by his ears, his features soften towards me.
"We will create our own family, that you will love even more fiercely than what you have now." Somehow I can't imagine loving something more than what I have now while looking at Odin.
"Would you like to be carried," Odin asking when he see's the thigh muscles quiver so bad they ruffle the material of the destroyed pajama bottoms. Looking at his legs, they are also showing the strain of exertion, yet he's willing to carry me without thought of his own tiredness.
"No, I'm able to walk." Head forward, shoulders back, walking into the cottage, with my own forward motion.
Odin heads to the trunk of the tree picking up a notebook, and a pencil, clutching it in his arms protectively.
When walking into the cottage that same overwhelming feeling seeps into my being, this place holds a power inside it. Something that is haunting, bound to this place not able to sever ties with the land of the living.
Looking towards Odin seeing if it's just me that can feel the agony of it, the loneliness of the one that's tied to this hollow ground. He doesn't seem to be affected by this space.
"Go take a shower first, I'll clean up after you." Odin turning towards the wood stove lighting a fire with a match. The sound of the flames catching starts to crackle the air before he shuts the cast iron door.
Grabbing some clothes from the bags, avoiding my image in the mirror. I don't need to look at my presentation at the moment, the dirt and grime will just wash away, leaving me like myself again.
It's a long, healing shower where the heat soothes my muscles. Cleaning my hair brushing my teeth a few times leaves me refreshed. The bloody clothes that were on the floor have been taken away.
Brushing out my hair to braid it tight against my scalp on either side has me resembling my mother's elite warriors in the pack.
When coming out Odin regards my image, "the females that have been trained by your mother wear their hair that way at times in our pack. It's symbolic to them, about where they come from and the loyalty they have towards your mother. They will be wearing their hair that way when we walk into our territory together. I've heard the whispers, they reach my ears at times when the voices want me to hear them. They want you to understand you are not alone in the hardship you will face."
"Hardship?"
"It's not going to be easy Charlie, I won't lie about what you will face, but what I want you to understand is you won't be alone in your struggles. We have supporters the will fight teeth and claw for you." The eyes of him hold, bind me before he brushes past our arms touching that can quiver skin to the point you would think it's liquid.
The door doesn't close behind Odin as if it's an invite to watch him wash. The temptation is still there that hasn't left me, in fact, I am even more curious about him. Reluctantly turning from the open door, when going to the table two plates are set out, drinks poured. The smell of the frying pan that's resting on the counter top still sizzling as if he just took it off the heat of the wood stove, to cool down. The aroma of wild onion, mushrooms fried up with some kind of game bird whose body has been stuffed with more herbs, wild garlic, and cattail root.
The saliva starting to pool, running my hands down my hips the extra inches that I put on have gone down, so only an inch of fat remains to cushion over top of muscles.
The notebook is on the counter turned down, picking it up, page after page of landscapes of differing variety, from mountain tops to vast plain lands. Clear spring pools, small creeks, to giant snaking rivers. The ocean crashing against sheer cliffs to a great glacier that is eating the land up, litter the pages, until coming to the last page. A scene where I'm sleeping on my mother's lap, a balloon tied to my wrist. Mom has her hand on my back. I can't be more than five years old. I'm just in a bathing suit, mom's face looks so relaxed, not a worry in the world.
Just mother and daughter sharing a moment from the past.
"That was the first time I remember seeing you, Charlie, sleeping on your mother's lap with a balloon tied to your wrist. I drew that for your mother. She allowed us to have our privacy in the final stages of your heat. I told her that the beam would not hold you. She granted my request, not to come back until she see's the smoke from the woodstove in the morning. In return, I drew a favorite memory of you, and she happens to be in it." Odin is in just a pair of cargo pants that ride low on hips. The base of his back revealing two small prominent muscles that flex out in a show of movement of flesh.
"This is beautiful, my mother will cherish it." Sitting down in a seat where the two chairs face each other.
He puts the hot pan on the table between us. Picking up a portion he places the first portion on my plate first, "you need it more." Odin's eyes touch mine briefly before putting a second bigger piece of meat on his own plate.
"What is this?" Asking curiously.
"Partridge, it's the easiest bird to catch. If lost in the bush, even if you are the poorest hunter you could never go hungry. It's one of my sister's favorite things to catch and eat, prepared just like this." Odin's the first to bite into the hot meal. Cutting into the meat, placing it in my mouth flavors I never knew existed my taste buds are now exploring the richness of the flesh.
"This is very good, thank you, Odin." His folk halts it's motion to his mouth momentarily before he takes another bite. He doesn't say anything else just eating the meal, contently.
Watching the ink that's etched in skin shifts from its place when his muscles contract and relax with movement making the ancient symbols seem to speak in a lyrical language old and forgotten.
"Do you know what they all mean?" Reaching out, fingertip touch tracking from his outer wrist in a straight line down to his elbow that's against the table.
"I know everything that's placed on my body, I've been made to remember them all. Our Speaker of Spirits would never allow me to move on to the next symbol if I didn't understand the one before it." Pulling away from his skin that is heating up my skin, his hand is quick to keep my flesh against his.
Skin to skin.
"This symbol is for Endurance," he moves my fingertips down to the next symbol, "this one is for Provider." Moving on to the next symbol, "Virtue." His eyes find mine, hold, before moving on. "This one is love, this one Respect, Strength, the last one is for Honor." His voice holds the importance of what all these words mean to him, it's now he releases my hand from against his flesh.
"I've had to study each meaning and demonstrate how I understand what they represent." Looking at the rest of his bare chest, more and more symbols and lettering are weaved through his pictures of predators. What I notice against his heart is the flower he drew me, just a smaller version. The blue petals standing out in stark contrast to black ink that surround the rest of his pectoral muscle.
"What's a Speaker of Spirits?" Curiosity gaining my interest.
"He's our voice to the Moon, he holds our ceremonies, he tells our stories at night in the dark winter when the ice freezes us in. He is the wise one that guides us in the Old Ways. He tells us guides us any spirit journeys we want to go on."
"Have you been on a spiritual journey?" My body leans into the table with what his mouth is opening to tell me.
"I have?"
"What did you learn?" Lana always going on her own spirit walks never allowing me to go with her, I wonder if this Speaker of Spirits would let me go on a walking journey?
"You'll see my journey when you mark me." My ear angled to his sound, yet nothing more comes out, he won't tell me this secret he holds. Instead, vehicles are pulling up to the house.
"Charlie I need to go now, it's still my responsibility to bring back my share of the meat for winter, I'm given no excuses." A weight goes back on shoulders that don't bend, but they carry his burden.
"Will you be meeting up with the hunting party?"
"No, they would have left the grounds."
"Then who will help you?"
"No one." Saying it as if he's used to no helping hand in his life. That strikes a feeling inside my chest, everyone should have someone to help them.
Finishing the last bite on my plate, "would you like more?" Odin asking looking at the near empty pan of food, we have been gorging ourselves throughout our talk.
"No, I'm full now." Mom always saying take what you need, don't stuff yourself if not needed.
Odin clears the table, cleaning the plates before putting them into the sink. He sits down with me at the table while the Sun's body starts to peek out in the horizon.
"Charlie, I want you to prepare yourself. This winter when the ice and snow are at its worst, I'm coming for you. We will walk from your old home into your new one. If it needs to come down to it, I will fight for the right to take you." Odin's face hardened in his resolve of his spoken words.
"Why the winter time Odin?"
"To show them all who you are, Charlie. For them to take you into consideration. I want them to have a fear of you." Odin sitting a little straighter.
"Fear me?"
"They need to have a fear of you. I can't be there all the time to protect your back, you have to make an entrance, to show them and my father, you aren't to be taken lightly. The long walk in will show them your Endurance." My eyes fall on the symbol he showed me that represents Endurance.
"I don't like the sound of this, what will you do if I refuse?"
"It's not an option, you are not more than me yet. You will have no choice but to follow me, willing or not I'm coming for you. I want you to come willingly." His hands now against my cheek.
"Enjoy the rest of your time with your family. You will see them again in the spring, at the next Exchange. You will never go too long without seeing them I promise you this." Car doors opening then slamming shut, feet walking towards the cottage.
"I have a question to ask you, Charlie, before I go."
"Ask."
"Can you live without half of your body? If someone came and cut you in half can you live without it?"
"No."
"Then how do you expect me to live without my half, Charlie? To me, you're my half." Stripped bare with his own unique vulnerability showcasing though those forest of eyes.
"I will always fight for my half Charlie, to the death." Lifting his lip with a flash of fang my way has the wolf inside taking great notice of this wolf with a fierce curiosity that is no longer hormone induced.
The believability Odin carries within his determination is frightening, he will go to War with whoever stands in the way of him and his half.
My father is the first to enter the cottage, followed by mother, Shamus, Paley, Aunt Meela and Uncle Grey.
"Mother Wolf," Odin bows just a fraction but enough for my mom to give him her smile that brightens her face up, showing teeth that he doesn't cower from.
"Thank you for allowing us the privacy." Odin's voice meets my mother's eyes without so much as flinch. He's standing to his full height, at my side. His and my father's eyes lock on each other's and neither wills bend.
"Paley, we would like you to drive Odin to the Northern and Far North's territory line, let's make his way back a little easier for him." This takes Odin by surprise that he can't hide in his eyes. He looks at my mother's profile now, my father standing all but forgotten in front of him.
"Thank you, Mother Wolf." His bow is lower, the voice is tight in his throat as if my mother has just done something meaningful and unique for him. He seems shocked by the help, all my mom offered him is a ride home and Odin is at a lost over this singular act of kindness.
Turning his body to me, so my family is all blocked out by his back. Both hands going against the side of my face. "Think about what I said, Charlie." A kiss to my head before he pulls away, Paley gives him consideration as he walks past, going out the door first.
"I'll go with you guys," Shamus making his way towards the door, Uncle Grey blocks his path.
"We need to have a discussion with you and Charlie." Uncle Grey's eyes shift from Shamus to me.
"Sit down, this it's going to be a long story." Dad saying this while his hand is on my shoulder.