I winced as I landed flat on my back, again, and felt a rock dig painfully into my hip.
"We're never going to survive against Moroi if you can't learn to defend yourself," Roran complained.
"I'm trying, okay?" I snapped and pushed my matted hair out of my eyes. "Excuse me for not being able to immediately pick up combat skills that you have had 500 years to perfect!"
He only sighed in response and held out a hand to help me up off the ground. I was momentarily transfixed by the way his muscles flexed, but forced myself to look away. Our relationship was already awkward enough without adding any more tension.
"You have the moves down and it's obvious you have been listening to what I taught you, but your lack of energy is slowing you down. I don't know how you will fight Moroi like this. The longer you go without blood, the weaker you will be," he explained.
I shoved my hands deep into my pockets and bit my lip. After a moment's consideration I responded, "I'm not drinking blood. I can't. I'd rather die."
Roran shook his head and placed his hands on my shoulders. "I won't let that happen. But I do think we should alter the plan with Moroi so that you won't be doing any fighting."
I nodded and shrugged. "You're the one who knows him best. I'll leave it up to you."
"I think we should focus on a few defensive strategies for you, just in case though."
"Aw, Roran, can't we take a teeny, tiny break? Please?" I begged, trying to use puppy eyes to get my way.
He rolled his eyes, but conceded. "Fine. It's not like we're making any progress anyway."
I grinned happily and rushed over to soak my aching feet in the water at the front of the cave. What I really wanted (and needed, desperately) was a bath. I smelled like the inside of a garbage truck and looked like I had been run over by one.
"Hey, Roran?" I began, unsure of the best way to ask for what I wanted.
"Yeah?"
"Um, I'm not sure if you've noticed but I kind of smell. Like, pretty bad."
He smirked. "I've noticed."
I glared at him in response. "Gee thanks. Anyway, I was wondering is there anywhere I could bathe? I mean - without getting killed?"
"Sure," he said, handing me a rather large knife. "Wash up right outside. The clothes I found for you while you were gone are lying next to the hammock. They aren't spotless, but they're cleaner than what you have on."
Upon inspection, I determined they were very close to my size, if a little bit baggy. The pants had a few stains and there was a tear in one of the sweater sleeves, but Roran was right: compared to what I was wearing these were practically couture.
"Just make sure to be aware of your surroundings. It will be a good training exercise for you," he stated as I was bending down to remove my shoes.
My eyes widened and I froze in the middle of untie the laces. Surely he didn't mean he was going to attack me while I was bathing?
"Uhm, what do you mean by 'training exercise'?" I asked, feeling even more uncomfortable when he grinned at me.
"I think you might fight better if you are going off pure instinct. The best way to test that is to attack you unexpectedly and see how you do."
Trying to convince him otherwise I argued, "But you just told me what you were going to do, so it's not very unexpected."
"But you don't know when I will attack, or where I will be coming from so it should work just fine," he replied, gathering up a rather large and frightening assortment of weapons.
"What if some other monster attacks instead of you though!" I hedged. "This seems like a very, very bad idea."
Roran smiled at me and walked past me toward the cave exit. "Then I guess you better not let your guard down."
I watched him walk through the waterfall without another word and disappear from my sight. For the next ten minutes I debated with myself over whether or not getting a bath was really worth it. I mean sure I would be somewhat clean, but at what cost?
Eventually it was my own putrid smell was that drove me from the safety of the cave and into the small pool of water outside. I peered around cautiously, knowing that despite Roran's attempt to make this seem like lighthearted roughhousing it could easily become a life or death situation at any moment.
Since I knew he was watching I didn't feel comfortable removing any clothing. I kept the blade tucked into the waistband of my jeans and stood close to the cave entrance for reassurance. My clothes and skin were so caked with blood and dirt that the water immediately turned a dark brown as soon as I started scrubbing them. I tried to rush in hopes that I could get done before he attacked, but when I happened to catch a flash of orange out of the corner of my eye I knew I wouldn't make it.
"You can come out," I called, trying to sound brave. "I already spotted you, Roran."
In hindsight it probably wasn't the best idea to sound so confident and self-assured. As soon as the words left my mouth Roran appeared above me, climbing the cave wall like an enormous spider. It freaked me out so badly that I shrieked and slipped on a rock, falling face first into the water.
After I managed to right myself and cough up the water that had poured into my windpipe, I looked around for Roran only to realize he had disappeared into the dark again. Cursing under my breath, I decided I was clean enough and shuffled backward toward the cave. I didn't stop walking until I was deep in the cave, with only Roran's hammock and pile of weapons behind me.
Panting breaths heaved from my lungs and I tried to calm my racing heart. Angrily I jerked the knife from my jeans and tossed it to the ground. A good training exercise, my--
"BOO!" Roran shouted, jumping up from the corner behind the hammock.
Without thinking I lashed out, catching him in the arm with claws that had somehow magically extended from the tips of my fingers. I jerked my hand back, at first stunned that I had been able to hurt him, but then slowly becoming entranced by the blood coating my hand. He didn't give me a chance to retreat very far before he came at me again. The blade in his hand came slicing down at me and I reacted. Violently.
My fangs caught his arm in mid-swing, sinking deep into his flesh, and it was then that I realized he had been right all along. The blood thirst was too strong.
I heard him shout, "Thea, no!" but I was in far too gone to care. I sucked hard, drawing in as much blood as I could before he managed to throw me off. As I hit the ground an intense burning feeling erupted in my throat and began to spread throughout my whole body. It felt like someone had injected me with acid. Fiery, burning, acid.
"I'm sorry, Thea! I'm so sorry!" Roran's voice echoed from somewhere far away. "This was a mistake. I should have realized your first instinct would be to bite, especially since you've been practically starving yourself."
I tried to ask him what was happening to me, but the words came out a jumbled mess. He shushed me gently, cradling my head in his lap.
"So sorry," he repeated over and over.
I wanted to tell him sorry wasn't helping me, but I couldn't do anything but cry. It wasn't long before the pain grew so intense that I blacked out.
When I woke again, the pain hadn't eased. The only difference was that Roran had moved me from the cave to the pool of water outside. He was muttering something under his breath, but I couldn't make out what it was.
"Roh-" I managed to croak.
"Shh, shh," he whispered. "Don't talk. Your throat is scorched pretty badly."
I shook my head, trying to indicate I had no idea what he was talking about.
He seemed to catch on and replied, "Vampires can't drink Phoenix blood, Thea. Our blood burns anything it touches. It's – it can be deadly."
It didn't escape my attention that his last sentence originally started out with 'it is'.
I wished I knew sign language. I desperately wanted to know what was going to happen to me.
"I'm trying to keep your temperature down," he told me, and I assumed that's why we were chest deep in the water. "I think you'll be alright. You didn't swallow much."
The fact that he wouldn't look at me while he was talking was kind of a red flag. And speaking of red flags, my skin now resembled one. The veins under my skin had turned a fiery red and parts of my skin looked like ash. If I wasn't so busy convulsing from the pain, I might have had a panic attack.
"Wh-wha-?" I stuttered, motioning toward my burning skin.
"My blood is burning yours. Like white blood cells attacking bacteria."
When I only stared at him in disbelief and horror he was quick to offer reassurance saying, "But don't worry, since you're a vampire the burns should heal with time."
But how long? I wondered. I knew I wouldn't be able to take much more of this.
A soft whistling sound was the only warning I had before Roran was jerking me up out of the water and racing back to the cave. Although I didn't understand what was happening, I knew it was nothing good. When a crude arrow lodged itself into the rock beside Roran's head I screamed.
And immediately regretted it. My throat felt like someone had scraped it with a wire brush. Roran tossed me into the cave and I hissed as I landed hard on the stone floor. I could hear the sounds of fighting outside, and I wanted to help, but I only managed to crawl over to the waterfall before I fainted again.