Present: 2024
By the time day hit I was back in my bedroom with Leon by my side. Although now was the time for sleep, I chose to stay awake. It wasn't for Joanna or because I was worried the cops would show up; I wanted to stay up during the day. It was something I've been trying to do for years now. I'm now able to stay up for the entire day with only mild discomfort. I'd consider that a huge milestone from the feverish burn and the headaches I used to get. But I don't stay up every single day. I spend maybe five days of the week testing my strength, just as I had been taught years ago. If I do it every day not only will I be sick, but I'll be bored out of my mind.
I pulled off my dress and tossed it across the wooden chair in the corner as I went to my dresser to find a nightgown. My side was wrapped up tight with some white cloth to hold my broken bones together, making it difficult to move around much. Unfortunately, I knew nothing about mending my own wounds, aside from what I've observed over my course of existence. My entire side was black from the impact of the dumpster.
"Move," I commanded of Leon, who was draped across my bed as if he owned the place.
What is a vampire doing with a golden retriever? I honestly don't know. Vampires aren't supposed to care about anything. We're heartless, cold, and bathe in death. But sometimes I question whether that's true for everyone. When I found Leon wandering the streets one summer night, I had to have him. Maybe it was because I was tipsy or even a little lost myself. I saw him and his muddy face and brought him right home. He's adorable and something I've never had before. A change.
I ruffled his golden head and reached over to grab my most recent book purchase. Okay, call me a book hoarder. I'm obsessed with them. To be fair, I've always loved books. I did as a human, I did with my creator, and I definitely do now. Before Joanna had moved in her room had been my library. I had bookcases lining the walls with piles of books of every genre. It was lovely. But now I have every book stashed somewhere in my room. It's sad how often I get onto Joanna about her junk, yet I have books crammed in every nook and cranny. On my nightstands, under my bed, in and on my dresser, on the headboard, in my tiny closet, and even along the edges of my room. It's pathetic.
But I loved it.
I flipped to the page I last read on my newest book and stroked Leon's fur as I began reading. This scene would have been picturesque if it weren't for the glass of blood by my side next to a bottle of beer.
After a few hours of reading a book or two, I leaned back in bed and stared at my room to clear my thoughts. The first thing I focused on was the string of twinkle lights against my brick wall that currently made my room glow warmly. I've never really had a room of my own to decorate before, so having this apartment was pretty nice. I had blackout curtains over my tall and narrow window that lead to a fire escape. My walls, though not nearly as cover as Joanna's, had several random paintings I've found over the years. One was a painting of a dead tree with roses at the base of it. Another painting was of New York City itself, full of lively people and bright lights. The third, my personal favorite, was painting back in 1920. It was of a dance floor with women laughing and men grinning wildly.
This room was entirely me.
I think I've always had a case of identity crisis over my lifetime. When I was human I wanted the simple life of living at home with a family and books and normality. When I was with my creator I wanted to be everything he didn't want me to be. I wanted tattoos, short dresses, and the whole party scene. But neither of those were actually who I was. I don't like parties. I hate them, in fact. I don't want normality, not like I used to. Sure, I enjoy a book and a dog, but I have to do something crazy every once in a while, such as cutting my hair. I've realized I actually don't like slutty clothing, but I definitely don't like the clothing I used to be forced to wear. I like boots and v-necks and dresses. It only took me about a hundred and twenty-five years to learn all of this.
I've also learned how much I adore romance novels. I know, I know, it's silly. But I'm fairly certain I have a hundred of those lying around. It's an addiction, and most of the male characters are totally swoon-worthy. Maybe it's my age that has me reading them? Next thing I'll probably get is a light pink crocheted blanket to drape over my shoulders and some reading glasses on the tip of my nose, though vampires don't require either. Joanna was making fun of me just the other night about me wearing a "Moo-moo" gown.
As night began to fall I could feel the burning in my skin begin to cool back to how it usually is. My skin color went from a flushed pink to the milky white it always is. I sighed and finished off my beer before climbing out of bed and pulling on a black robe. I have successfully managed to read three books in one day with only having to get out of bed once for a refill. I'd consider that a great victory.
"Ahh..." Joanna groaned from the hallway.
I was standing in the kitchen when she shuffled in, rubbing the back of her neck.
"Hello, sleeping beauty," I greeted as flipped on the TV and did my nightly stretches.
Her dark eyes were squinted from having just woken up, and her hair was a massive knot on the top. "What happened?"
My cheerful mood dissolved into a serious one. This was going to ruin her entire night. "Do you remember in the alley?"
She blinked repeatedly, only to shake her head.
A frown formed on my lips and I began to scoop coffee into the coffee pot. The coffee pot is completely old fashioned, thanks to new technology where you can get your coffee in five seconds or less. As always, I prefer the old ways. "You were attacked, with a baseball bat. Someone hit you across the face with one."
That's when I saw her expression twist as the memory was most likely coming back to her. She swallowed hard and gripped the back of the leather couch in our tiny living room. "How many did I kill?" she question so quietly that no human would have heard her.
My frown deepened. "Three."
"Oh God..." She rubbed her neck harder, only to wince. "Will they find me? The police?"
I shook my head. "It's been taken care of."
Her dark brow shot up. "How?"
I knew I couldn't just lie and tell her I took care of it myself. It definitely wouldn't have put her to ease if I had, anyway. So I stuck to the truth. "I called Matthew."
She sucked in an unneeded breath and let her long dark hair curtain her face from me.
"I had to snap your neck first, in case you're wondering why your neck is stiff. I then called him and he sent some people to clean things up." It wasn't a lie, but I wasn't telling her everything.
"So he just sent some people here to clean up?" She looked at me again, her lips pursed into a hard line.
Confusion swept over me. "Err, yes."
Practically marching, she snatched the candle from the counter and blew it out. "He was here, wasn't he?"
Damn. "What?" I played dumb.
Roughly, she folded her arms over her chest and shot me a hard look. "The house smells strongly of the candle fragrance and some perfume. You clearly wanted some scent covered up."
Not backing down, I squared my shoulders and gave her a hard look back. "Leon peed. Figured you'd appreciate it if I got the smell of his urine out of here."
"When I woke up I noticed my room was cleaner than before."
"Sorry for cleaning up some of your dirty clothes, jeez..."
As if to prove to a huge point, Joanna stuck out her left hand and waved it in front of me. There, shining dazzling on her ring finger, was her diamond wedding ring she usually never wore. "I had this in the top drawer of my dresser. Matthew loves letting people know he was there. It's his signature move. I'm surprised he decided to be so obvious this time."
Like an idiot, I stared blankly at her ring as if it couldn't possibly exist. "But..." I looked up at her. "I'm sorry... I just thought you'd be mad if I let him come here and he said it was best if you didn't know he was here and I never thought he would have done something-"
"Lucy, it's fine," she cut me off more softly. "Honestly, he was probably the only person who could have gotten me out of this situation. Thank you for helping me."
Surprised by the change of attitude, I just stood there uncomfortably and scratched at my arm. "You're welcome..."
She stepped away from the couch and leaned against the wall. "Did he want me to call him? Maybe sign a document or just get on a plane to go to him?" Her voice was harsh, bitter.
"No. He didn't say any of that. But he's going to be in the city for another day or two... He wanted me to talk him up."
A puff of air blew out her lips. "Typical."
"But I must say, he really did come through for you," I added hesitantly.
I noticed the way her eyes drifted down to the ground. She shifted where she stood and avoided my gaze. "How was he?" she whispered.
Admittedly, I was a bit relieved she didn't snap at me for talking about him. It was a poor subject to bring up, just as mentioning my creator was. At first I thought about lying and saying he was doing great. Maybe it's because I didn't want to talk about this at all. It's none of my business and I hated getting in the middle of things. Yet, deep down, I am a romantic. Always have been, always will be. And I didn't want Matthew pounding at my door and scolding me for lying to Joanna. That would be terrifying. "Glum," I replied.
Her dark eyes met mine and her lips twitched. "Glum? Who even says that word anymore?"
A nervous laugh escaped my throat. "You forget I'm from the 1920's, right?"
"...Was he actually sad, or are you just making that up?"
"He was really sad, actually. Like, break out the guitar and play some country music sad."
A smile formed on her lips once more. "You've been around me too much."
That was true. I seem to pop off the most bizarre things often. "You're a bad influence on me."
She nodded in agreement, though her eyes were back on the ring on her finger. "I'm going to take a shower. Scrub away a horrible night." She headed towards the hall, but paused. "Want to watch a movie or something tonight? I mean, since we're both off tonight..."
Nervously, I rubbed my arm and headed towards the coffee pot. "Err, I can't... I have a date."
If anything could snap her out of the black cloud she was in, it was this. She nearly tipped over. "You? A date?"
I scoffed and poured my coffee. "I've been on them before, Joanna. You remember just last year I went on a date."
"It was a double date I had forced you into. Sorry about, by the way. I didn't realize he was balding and handsy."
A shiver went down my spine. That guy truly was a creep. He tried to get me to go back to his place after just half an hour. Thankfully he was a somewhat young vampire and I managed to scare him off with my advanced years. "You still owe me for that, you know."
She rolled her eyes and rested her back against the narrow hallway wall. "Who's the lucky guy tonight?"
"Oh..." I swallowed hard, trying not to think too deeply about tonight. "Liam."
Her eyebrow raised so high it looked as if it'd rise above her head like some cartoon. "Liam?"
"Yeah."
After several seconds of silence, she nodded. "I guess you can start off with him."
"Hey!"
She threw her hands up defensively. "I'm just saying. I don't trust him very much."
My stomach did a painful squeeze. It wasn't just because Joanna didn't trust Liam, but also because someone I used to madly love had once told me to stay away from Liam. Of course, since then, things have changed. I have changed. Liam has changed. Even Joanna has changed. Maybe it was the war that changed us all. Ever since Liam had saved me during the battle I've seen him differently. He was no longer the guy who lied or the trader. He was the friend who risked his life for someone with a death wish.
"I'm gonna hop in the shower. Don't forget to lock the door behind you when you leave." Again, she paused. Only this time she had her hand on my face. "Why is my face tacky?"
I resisted the urge to laugh, only because I knew she'd kill me if I did. "Well, um. You had blood on your face and we couldn't transport you covered in blood, you know? So Matthew, um, cleaned your face."
She poked at her cheek in confusion. "With what? It's sticky."
"His tongue."
All emotion washed from her face. I swear her eyes twitched. "He licked my face?"
I hesitantly nodded.
"I'm going to go shower now..." She nearly tripped on her way to the bathroom, looking as if she were about to be sick.
*****
I met Liam at an Irish pub about six blocks from my apartment. Although it was snowing, I still wore a modestly short green dress that hugged my waist but flared out from my hips to my knees. The top of the dress was cut right across my collarbone, covering up cleavage and giving me a respectable look. The dress was sleeveless, so I wore a thick, black trench coat that went down to the top of my black boots.
Liam was rather sweet when I arrived, even going as far as to pull my seat out for me and to order my drink, a simple red wine. He was dressed in a dark jeans and a black blazer, making him look casual yet dressy. We looked picturesque, almost like a billboard poster of the perfect date. I even straightened my pixie cut hair to make it smooth and longer. It surprised me how much my hair has been growing.
"I haven't read it," Liam confessed when I asked him about Jane Eyre, a novel I've read three times.
"Seriously? You've read two of the romance novels I've mentioned, and yet you haven't read a classic?" I shook my head as I drank my second glass of wine.
He flashed a charming smile. "I always put it off. I don't even have a copy of it at home."
Liam lives in England, the place of his birth, but he also has a condo in Seattle, the place he's trying to convince me to move to. He says the people there are brilliant and can carry on conversations just about anything. He loves it there. In addition to those homes, Liam also travels a lot, going from hotel to hotel across the world.
"I'll let you borrow my copy, if you want...? It's an old print, about a hundred years old." It was one I had found in a storage building in Dallas, Texas many years ago.
"I'm intrigued."
A small band started setting up in the corner as we talked more about books and travel. Liam mentioned how he plans to go back to England within the year, and also how he hopes I'll visit because I've not been outside of the US before. I shrugged it off, not wanting to discuss travel on the first date.
Most of the people in the pub were vampires. Their tattoos were clear as the burning day on each of their wrists. I somehow felt more comfortable with them around as opposed to humans because of what happened last night. The thirst would distract me, anyway. I never mentioned Joanna to Liam, knowing it was best to keep her secret.
"Have you ever tried the beer here? It's delightful," Liam mentioned as he stood up to get some.
"No. Get me one," I said teasingly.
When he left to get us some, I let my smile fall. The smile hurt. I've been doing it too much tonight. I can only force a smile for so long. It's not that Liam was annoying or that the date was bad. In fact, it was going rather well. That's why I was having such a difficult time. It was going too well. I was too caught up in the conversation. He smelled too good. The night was too nice. Guilt was gnawing my insides and causing my heart to squeeze each time I laughed or leaned forward. This was wrong.
He handed me a giant mug of beer and sat beside me as he sipped his drink. "Do you have any plans coming up?" he asked thoughtfully.
"No. I mostly just do what I've been doing. You?"
"I plan to travel back to Seattle within the next week or two. I have some friends to visit there."
I secretly envied his lifestyle. One minute he's in New York having drink with me, the next he'll be in Seattle with friends. Eventually he'll head to Europe and travel around from there. "Maybe I'll visit sometime. I liked Seattle when I was there last."
"When was that?"
"Oh, I guess the 1950's?" A nervous laugh erupted. "It's been a while."
"It has changed a lot since then. I can show you the bookstores there. They're a lot more vampire-friendly than most states."
I didn't realize until he grabbed my hand that I was running my finger over the rim of my glass over and over again. I looked up at him, startled by his fingers intertwining mine.
"I would very much like to kiss you right now," he murmured as he stared at my lips.
My body froze the second his lips pressed against mine. It was awkward at first because I didn't kiss him back, not until he began to pull away. My thoughts were wild. I wanted to be kiss. I didn't want to be kissed. I wanted his hand on the back of my neck. I didn't want his hand on the back of my neck. I wanted him to kiss my neck. I didn't want him to kiss my neck. It was a flood of emotions pulsing through me. Yet, despite all of what I didn't want, I still did it.
Leaning my head back, I let Liam kiss my neck, fighting tears when I realized I haven't been kissed like this in ages. It was wonderful. It was horrible. I loved it. I hated it. Above all, I needed it. I needed this. I've been alone so long, and it's been so long since I've kissed someone. Maybe not twelve years, but still a while. Plus, I've kissed Liam before, about a decade ago, and maybe a few times after that. But it was different now. It wasn't a kiss I wanted to forget. I wanted to be kissed. It's been too long. Liam's kisses weren't too bad, either. They were gentle, with little savoring movements against mine, and his lips were really soft and smooth. Still, I compared him to my creator. I couldn't help it. My creator's kisses were rougher, passionate, and unpredictable. But Liam's was nice and comfortable.
After several savoring kisses from my lips to my neck, Liam pulled away and rested his forehead to mine. "I hope I'm not out of line, but would you like to go back to my hotel room?" Liam asked, sounding almost breathless.
I knew what this would mean. It would change everything. It's no surprise Liam has been wanting this. Wanting me. He made it clear years ago that it liked me a lot. I've just never wanted to return those feelings. I didn't want to think of any other man besides my creator. I wanted to be faithful to him, even after his death. And I wasn't ready to let him go. But I haven't just avoided sex to be faithful to him. Every time I thought of something so intimate as that, I thought only of him. He's the only man I've been with, the only one I've shared the experience with. It was basically what our entire relationship surrounded.
But he's gone now, and it's time to let go.
I knew this was the only way to truly move on for me. I needed to do this one thing to officially move on. "I'd love to," I replied after a moment's pause.
..............................................................................
Ahhhh!!!
Just thought I'd type what ya'll were probably thinking. Why, Lucy, why?
This chapter was one I had planned a few months back. I don't normally plan series so far ahead, but this book I have entirely mapped out, that's how I'm able to post a new chapter a week :P
Who here is missing Xavier?
What did you think of this chapter? Are you upset with Lucy's choice at the end of the chapter, or are you happy she isn't clinging onto the past? What do you think about Joanna and Matthew?
Don't forget to leave your comment below! I seriously love reading how you all take in each chapter. It's exciting :)
-C
p.s. If the chapter seems different than the others (grammar issues, choppy) it's because I'm writing it on my iPad and it doesn't tell me grammar issues :P New laptop soon, I hope!