Random Chapter 2: The Adventures of Snapeman
A/N: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY FELLOW ALIENS, WIZARDS, VAMPIRES AND UNICORNS!!!! I have decided I’m gonna make 2 more extra chapters of Bloody Hell after this chapter then THAT’S IT!!! NO MORE CHAPTERS!!!!
Disclaimer: …I sit here in my room. Crying and feeling depressed. BECAUSE I DIDN’T CREATE HARRY POTTER!!!!!!! DAMN J.K. ROWLING AND HER BRILLIANT MIND!!! :) :) :) hehehe lol
Professor Snape’s POV;
“NANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANA SNAPEMAN!!!!!!” I yelled as I jumped out of nowhere. I wore my FAVOURITE batman outfit. The cape, mask, boots and utility belt; the whole package!
With my sidekick, Robin, we’re UNSTOPPABLE!!!!!
“Severus, why are we dressed like this?” a squeaky voice said.
“Because I am Snapeman and you are Robin. YOU MUST OBEY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“But Severus, my name is Fillius Flitwick, not Robin.”
“Deal with it! Ah-ha! I hear the shrill and dramatic sounds of a victim. Come on Robin, TO THE SNAPEMOBILE!!!!!!”
“Err…Snapeman…it’s only a cardboard box with the words ‘Snapeman Sucks’ on it.”
“Damn it!!! That Potter is a hypo pain in the arse!” I said as we got into the cardboard box and ran. We ran around the castle like 5 times until we found the door that we heard noise in. We opened the door to reveal the most disgusting sight ever!!
“POTTER!!!!! STOP SNOGGING WITH THAT CAULDRON CAKE!!! IT DOESN’T LOVE YOU!!” I yelled as I saw Potter finishing up with that cauldron cake.
“IT DOES TOO LOVE ME!!! JUST BECAUSE I AM A WIDOWER, DOES NOT MEAN THAT I CAN’T…EXPERIMENT WITH OTHER DESSERTS!!!!”
“Well… I don’t care if you are a widower! That cauldron cake doesn’t love you!” I said.
“YES IT DOES!!!!!” He said before running out of the classroom, crying.
“What was that all about, Snapeman?” Fillius- I mean Robin said.
“The boy’s a nut job. Now let us go and save the Wizarding world from evil ninja’s and unicorns!!! Snapeman and his trusty sidekick Rob-”
“DIAPERKING!!!!!!!” Mr Malfoy yelled. “What in the world are you wearing?!” I asked as surveyed his costume. He was wearing nothing but a cape, mask and a rainbow diaper.
“I’m you sidekick, Diaperking,” he said.
“More like Diaper-shit! You’re outfit is terrible!!!”
“I know you want it! You’re just jealous,” he said, turning his heel while singing this ridiculous song Sexy and I Know It.
Out of nowhere, the Joker jumps out in front of us. “Why so Severus?” He cackled. Wait…I know that voice…IT’S POTTER!!!!
“…”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You know, why so Severus? It’s like my godfather’s name; Why so Sirius, but since your name is Severus, I thought that-”
“SHUT IT POTTER!!!!”
15 minutes later
“Come on, Rapper Half-Blood Prince, take it away,” Potter said as he started beat-boxing.
“For the last time Potter, I am not Rapper Half-Blood Prince….I AM SNAPEMAN!!!! I’m a Professor/ Rapper during the day and moonlight to Superhero Snapeman!!!!! SUCK ON THAT!!!!!!”
“YOU’RE SO MEAN, SNAPEY SNAPEMAN!!!!” He started crying. He stuck out his butt and…I fear the worst…
“EAT MY DUST, SUCKERS!!!!!!!” And then it happened. HE MADE HOGWARTS BECOME TOXIC!!!! We covered our noses with our capes and chased the Joker-I mean Potter, all around Hogwarts.
A/N: HE HAS FINALLY EXPLODED (AGAIN)!!!!! Well, how did you like this extra chapter?? Please remember to vote, comment and fan!!! I will fan anyone back, if they fan me :) Oh and I REALLY need extra votes; I am not begging…actually I am so stuff it PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE VOTE!!!!!
Luv you,
Dramione_97 :) xx