Author's note: This story was written many years ago. It was one of the first I have ever worked on. I still love this story and believe it, although my style has changed a lot since then, and I can safely safe, I've grown a lot as a writer.
Now that that's out of the way, I hope you enjoy White Masquerade as much as I enjoyed writing it!
~ Michelle
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I can see her cry.
Her eyes flame crimson with sorrow as she closes her book and stares right in the open. I immediately back away through the branches and support my legs against the thickest one. One thin stem decides to jump into my eye and I immediately lose balance. Thanks to the quick reflex I have grown accustomed to, I immediately grasp onto a large log of wood and keep myself steady.
A few leaves fall onto the ground, and Elisabeth adjusts her seat on her armchair. She stands up and makes her way to the porch to stare at the tree.
Did she see me? There is no way. I'm standing way between the thick branches and the leaves that even her breathing is barely audible.
I relax back and listen carefully to her heartbeats. They're accelerating and her mind is racing. I close my eyes and a picture of a young girl, with brown eyes smiling, takes over my darkened sight.
I feel my hands going numb and I almost lose balance again.
A few days from now is the anniversary of her son's birth, and her best friend's death.
She lost her friend at the same day her son was born eighteen years ago. And she never stops blaming herself for it. Even though a life was taken, another was born. The balance is still there.
I don't understand why she still drowns herself in all this guilt eating on her youth.
*Nineteen years ago*
My parents have already gotten out of the house to bring extra supplies before the big storm. It was January and I have been preparing for my midterms. Howard U. High is the local school every kid of Heaven Bridge goes to. Getting my scholarship for Manchester Metropolitan University wasn't coming easily. I had to study day and night for that thing I almost lost contact with my friends.
As I was about to finish the tenth chapter in my math book, someone knocked on the door cutting my chain of thoughts.
As soon as the door swung open, Elisabeth was standing at my doormat, hands on her belly, her glossy eyes threatening to cry, and wet hair from the rain that had been pouring for hours.
"What happened to you?" I asked her wide-eyed and helped her in.
She didn't speak, or make any gesture to tell me she's alright. Instead, she made her way to the couch and sat there hugging her belly again. Why is she- Oh no.
"Beth..." I started but she lifted her hand to cut me off.
I sat next to her, hand on her shoulder patting it.
"I just finished my first month." She finally spoke in such a feeble voice I was starting to get scared. "I tried to convince myself that it wasn't happening when I didn't get my period on time. But I didn't want to believe it. Until I finally took the test and here I am. Quill dumped my ass, my parents kicked me out..." Before she could finish a loud sob came out of her swollen mouth as she broke down into my arms.
I wanted to say 'I told you so'. I wanted to remind her of the times I tried to pull her back from sleeping with that asshole.
I remember the countless times I warned her that he was using her, but she was too far lost in his black eyes to even listen to me.
"You don't have anywhere else to go?" I asked her pulling a hair behind her ear.
She was my best friend. I couldn't let her live on the streets like that.
She simply shook her head and it was enough for me to welcome her in. My parents loved her. They wouldn't say no.
I helped her through everything she needed. Her pregnancy was hard with the mood swings and cramps, let alone the fact that her parents didn't bother to ask about her.
My parents didn't support the whole idea of her wrong choices, but decided to put their judgments aside, of course after endless begging hours on my behalf. She didn't deserve to be alone. No one deserves to be alone.
Nine months went by quickly. Elisabeth was getting the help she needed, and I didn't wait for her to ask for anything. Whenever she would say something was hurting her, I'd immediately drive to the drug store in the town right next to ours, the town that was more alive and full of services, St. Michael's River.
Halloween night had already come. School had been planning this day for months but had to cancel at the last minute because of the deadly storm. Sitting by the fire, I heard the sound I was dreading to hear for nine months.
Elisabeth screamed and I mentally slapped myself. No one was home. My parents went to my grandparents' house before the storm started and they were stuck there.
No one was able to get out. The trees were rocking back and forth and the sound of thunder threatened to break the house in two.
"Jules! My water broke!"
I rushed to the room where Beth was sleeping and saw the wet trail of water she left on her bed.
"My parents aren't here, oh my God." I covered my mouth panicking.
I didn't know how to deliver, I didn't know what to do.
My parents didn't pick up when I called them, and my options were narrowing down.
The doctor picked up his phone, thankfully, but he said he couldn't make it to the house. His car wouldn't start. Every bad thing was happening at the same time. I couldn't think straight.
"I'll go get Dr. Hew." I told her but she kept yelling at me not to leave the house and try to deliver the baby myself. The sight of blood would make me faint. I couldn't handle getting a baby out of her and cutting the umbilical cord. The simple thought made me shiver.
As soon as I walked out, the wind almost whisked me back into the house. Immediately, I threw myself into my father's truck and started it. The storm could not be any worse than delivering.
Regretfully, I pressed on the gas pedal and the vehicle started moving. The screams of Beth's panicked voice replayed in my mind and I accelerated more.
The drive can't be that bad, I kept convincing myself.
The thudding sound of something woke me up. It wasn't thunder this time.
I opened my eyes, and the ceiling of the truck was right above me, I could almost kiss it.
I couldn't move. I could barely breathe. My neck hurt, and my body was numb. The truck was upside down, and something had crashed into it. The pain didn't hit me at first. I was too traumatized to understand what was happening. Opening one bloody eye, I was able to perceive the roots of the tall oak tree ripped from the ground, and its logs peeking through my window.
The truck had slipped. I couldn't control it when I saw the tree falling.
I didn't have the energy to pull myself out. All I wanted was to stop feeling the pain emerging inside of my body. I wanted to close my eyes and listen to the sound of the massive rain falling onto the vehicle.
And so I did.
*Present day*
"I'm so sorry Jules." She whimpers hiding her face in her hands.
Stop crying, damn it. Can't she just see that I'm right here?
The past is the past. I'm here now.
I hear the roaring of a car. It's so near I almost fall over. Stealing a glance down, I see him.
His old junk of a car pulls over next to the house and I watch him carefully as he walks out of it.
I'm barely able to discern him in the darkness of this long night. But I know that it's him.
It's Sam.
It's Elisabeth's son.
I can smell the alcohol he consumed, but he wasn't taking drugs. He stopped taking them for two years now. I guess my powers were enough of a help to talk him into quitting. Once he swings the door open, I can't see them anymore.
But the open windows of the house are enough for me to see they were heading to his room. Moments like this, make me appreciate the sensitivity of my hearing sense.
Sam is the most popular jock in Howard U. High. He scored the winning goals more than five times already, and is pretty much respected by all his teachers. That's until he decided to start drinking which is slowing his game down bits by bits. Not knowing your father, having your mother marry a man who died four years after their marriage, and having a sister who disappeared at the age of three isn't easy.
I can't blame him for the unbalanced life he has been leading so far, but I can't watch him destroy himself.
I can see the look on Beth's face as she regretfully touches her son's hand and he jerks it away. He isn't fully sober, but he isn't drunk either. It's this state that makes you think of all the horrible things you could be going through.
"How was your day?" She asks him and gulps.
"Okay. Get out mom, I need to sleep." He answers and his voice sends a chill through me.
"Sam, have you been drinking again?" She asks insisting on getting answers this time. Bad move.
"Get the hell out of my room!" He finally screams and almost shoves his mother out the front door, slamming it.
He returns to his bed and lies down, one hand behind his head, the other tapping through his phone.
"Hey." He says through the speaker in a croaky voice.
"Why did you leave the party so early?" A girly tone resonates in my ear.
"I was getting really drunk, and I have school tomorrow. I can't be late again. I'm losing my teachers' trust."
"Nerdy much?" The girl giggles. She's obviously tipsy.
"Delilah, my entire future depends on that damn scholarship. I need to get out of this bloody town."
"Fine! Fine! Stop yelling, jeez. Anyway, don't forget my history book tomorrow. You've been borrowing it for three weeks now."
"It's already in my bag. See you tomorrow."
"See you beautiful." She says but he immediately hangs up. He's been planning on breaking up with Delilah for more than two weeks now. And he still hasn't done it because they're the 'it' couple.
By the look on his face, I can definitely assume he's doing it tomorrow.
~
I woke up in the small motel room at the sound of my buzzing cellphone. Today is my first day at Howard U. High and I can't be any more nervous. It has been four years since I've been waiting for that moment. But now that it's here, I'm starting to think twice. Something in the pit of my stomach is telling me that it isn't going to go the way that I have planned.
I look at my reflection in the mirror. For eighteen years, I still can't get used to my blond hair and light brown eyes. So many things have changed within me, physically and emotionally. I'm not that scared little girl anymore. I have gone through things I never imagined I'd face. I may look like an eighteen year old, but I have lived through eighteen years of unimaginable pain, joy, and moments of surrender.
This will all change from now on. I will be back as a new normal student in my old school. I will save my mission. I will finally rest in peace.
My phone buzzes again. This time it isn't the alarm. Liam's name is screening bright.
I finished the papers, we'll be moving today in the afternoon, the message said.
Liam is my cousin's son. He knows my secret.
I smiled relieved I'll be living in my childhood home again. The fact that my parents moved to New York after my death makes me happy. They grieved me for two years but I made it enough for them to move on. As much as it hurt me to use my powers on them, I wanted them to move on.
~
I put on my black jeans, gray loose top, and leather jacket. I can't wear anything tight. In two days, my transformation is taking place, and I can't afford suffocating my back. My wings are already generating inside my skin and driving me insane.
I walk into the school and the memories of the past come rushing back inside my brain, ripping every piece of remembrance I tried to wipe away. The gate is still the same. The grass has died over the years and there was no one to take of it. The sunlight is still faint. But the alive student body is still there.
Cheerleaders are trying to make up smart lines to repeat over and over again in the game. The crack heads are sitting in the corner and the nerds are nowhere to be seen. Library, I guess.
And there is Sam's crowd. Once Sam pulls over and enters the school property, Michael, the Russian friend, walks towards him and nudges him.
"We overheard Delilah today. She's planning your year anniversary." He says winking.
Sam smiles and looks away.
"What're you planning on doing dude? Maybe an innocent hug at first?" Max the other jock jokes teasingly. "Then your lips pucker still innocently while she holds her red hair, you push your head back and look into her blue eyes as your hands go down her a-"
Before he can finish, Sam looks at him and raises an eyebrow holding his laugh. Max has always been the perverted one in the group.
"Seriously though," Joseph speaks at last controlling the atmosphere with his serious attitude. "How're you going to handle her? I heard she goes wild on her year anniversary."
"I'm dumping her." Sam finally announces. He doesn't even care about saying 'ending things'. 'Dumping her' seem like the right words to him.
I lean back against the wall and pretend to be typing on my phone while listening. He can't see me. Not yet.
"Are you serious, or just messing with us?" Max retorts fatally for the first time and almost pinches Sam to see if he's still tipsy from yesterday.
"It's just over. I can't find any more things to talk about with her. And Delilah... She's simply not for me." He replies and starts walking inside the building.
"Are you kidding me?!" Michael shrieks in his face. "Who even cares about talking or her individuality? You're not going to do that on a year anniversary date!"
"I'm doing it." Sam snaps and disappears inside the hallways.
~
I try to keep much distance between us but it's hard enough when I have to watch his every move. I need to follow the plan I already drew on how to approach him. I can't just walk and be like "Hey Sam, I'm Jules, I was supposed to be dead eighteen years ago, but hey I froze at that age as half an angel coming to save your sister."
That will probably send him running for the hills.
A shiver runs through me all of a sudden. I see her walking towards Sam in her high heels. Her red hair blazes fire complimenting her red lipstick. Why does she have to be so beautiful? Suddenly, I feel the lack of make-up on my face as a bad thing. Pulling my hair behind my ear, I try to focus on their conversation rather on how Delilah's blue eyes almost pushed me back.
"I texted you when you hung up yesterday." She says passing her hand through his collar. "You didn't reply."
"I was so tired and fell asleep. I didn't see it." He breaks a weak smile but she doesn't wait for him to say anything else. She slowly presses her lips to his and kisses him sensually.
In the middle of the crowded hallway.
Her friends Joan and Emily stand in front of them to watch dreamingly their moment. However, they notice that Delilah is closing her eyes and breathing from her nose when Sam is opening them wide and waiting impatiently for her to finish. She backs away realizing she was the only one kissing which was a bit awkward and embarrassing for her, and from the puzzled look on her face, I'd say new.
I don't know why I just grinned.
"What's wrong?" She asks him frowning. She's never used to rejection I see.
"We need to talk." He whispers, but not low enough for me not to hear it. He's afraid her friends will hear him and start making assumptions. Apparently, they play a good role in her decisions.
"Sam, what's going on?"
"History class is about to begin. And I brought your book. C'mon." He pulls her by her hand but she nastily snatches it away and stands in place. She's obviously into drawing attention.
"Tell me now." She mumbles through her teeth nervously.
The bell rings, disregarding Delilah's almost outburst. Sam looks at her apologetically and makes her head to class.
When they clear the hallways, I head to my locker and pull out my history book. This is going to be an interesting start. I have no idea where to begin. Everything has been previously planned, but now that I'm facing reality, I don't know what to do anymore.
I need to talk to Elisabeth. But Sam can't learn the truth about me. Not yet. This shouldn't hit them like a punch in the face, this should come as smoothly as possible because simply it's not that easy. I have handled much worse situations throughout my supernatural years, yet now, it feels like it's my first day all over again. The sight of Sam is making me nervous, and watching Beth again is not helping me get over the past.
How can I even get over the past when I came back to the same place where I died in the first place?
"We've had enough talking about other countries' history. Today we're talking about Heaven Bridge. Does anyone know about the civil war it suffered and which year?" Mr. Walsh asks. I listen behind the walls of the classroom careful not to make any noise.
That's not the right time to walk inside. My heart is racing and the itch in my back is making things worse.
Not single student answers and I wonder how on earth they passed their classes before. This is one of the most essential parts in the history of Heaven Bridge. Easy answer, why won't anyone offer to say it?
"Come on people!" The teacher's voice resonates in my ear making me cringe. Too high. Too high. "Tomorrow's your test. I don't want you to fall asleep over your paper. Right miss Sparks?"
Still no answer. I can't handle this anymore. It feels like an invisible string pulling me towards the class and I feel my legs guiding me in, exposing me.
"It occurred between the royal family and the lords who fought violently over the crown... In year... 1795." The words flow out of my mouth uncontrollably.
When the entire class hushes, and I am left with the sound of their breathing, along with the teacher's, I clear my throat and start tapping my hand against the low part of my hip.
Damn it, pull yourself together.
"Who are you?" A satisfied smile grows on Mr. Walsh's face putting me at ease again. "Are you new here?"
"I'm Jules." I take a deep breath and beam nervously but successfully hide it. "Jules Moon."