A/n: oml this chapter so longgg
Jimin's POV
A bundle of days had passed since the time my world started to turn again. I can't explain, the happiness and gratitude I felt when he finally opened his eyes from his long motionless slumber. He was alive during that dragged out long period, though in that state, he wasn't living.
Don't get me wrong, things are great now, it's just, it's not as good as it used to be. Even though time had finally unfroze for the both of us, an everlasting permafrost stayed as the after math.
Something felt like it was cut so deeply in our lives that even if it healed, the pain would still haunt us.
For hours in that white room, we would chatter away at the most random thing, getting back into the natural flow of being in each other's company.
Taehyung's odd shaped smile that instantly made me feel at ease, how I've missed it. He would smile that soft smile and his laugh was always addicting, and like a domino effect, it'll cause me to do the same. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary with him at the start.
But to me, even when I truly laughed these days, it didn't sound as bright, not as loud, not as cheerful. It's the exact laugh I've heard since years before now; I recognise it like the back of hand, but now it just sounds more washed out; Duller.
It was like a black fog was just surrounding us and clogging my vocal cords, and at times it felt like the whole scene was unreal.
Was I becoming ill?
I'm not sure.
But as the days progress, I noticed that things haven't been the same with it's care-free feeling, especially for him. Taehyung's darkness grew.
There are times when Taehyung would get startled, more than he should be. When the doctor or nurses would try to touch him to change his bandages twice a day; he would stiffen and quiver violently. At first, he would look horrified, like how children are with strangers.
Then he started to struggle during these, evolving to full out attacking them.
The first time I saw him like that, I wasn't in the room at the time, but I was walking in. He was so hostile, like an animal that hated the human kind. He never acted like that in front of me before, and something broke in me when I saw him like that.
Time ticked minutes slower than it's regular speed. I would catch everything in the moment. How he looked scared to death but still fierce when they were too close to him, and how frightened the nurses were as they watched him.
That day, another nurse softly but forcefully pushed me out of the room. I was there by myself, while my mom was somewhere else filling out some important documents that I had no clue were about. I was alone, and I was useless. I didn't know how to help him.
A few anxious minutes later, they called me in. What all happened not too long ago, even when he woke up after sleeping for a week, felt like it was just a imaginary cognition thought up by my mind. He was still, too stationary that I could barely see his chest rising and dropping as he breathed.
They said they drugged him, that they didn't want to since his wounds were still healing and he was too young, but it had to be done. They asked me for my assistance after that day. I would distract him when they'd come up behind and stick the needle in his arm. His smile would slowly fade, and his eyes would falter on the border of being close and open, until they just completely shut.
I know that it was to help him, make sure he doesn't hurt himself or others again, but I felt like I had stabbed him in the back. Like it was betrayal to his trust.
Then he would wake up after a while, and a lie would always flow out of my mouth about how he just fell asleep. He would always apologise after, saying he feels bad for not finishing the conversation. It stung when he would say sorry for nothing he did wrong. The guilt would always sit in the pit of my stomach.
After a while of this lifestyle, he was finally able to leave the white walled prison.
I had brought him a change of clothes to wear instead of the overseen hospital gown he was forced to keep on. First he had hesitated about wearing the abnormal colours, or to be franc, colours that weren't white. But in the end, I convinced him.
My shirt seemed larger on him since my shoulders were broader, same with the shorts since I seem to have a thicker body type than him. ( I'm talking about that jibooty XD)
Everyday my mom didn't have time to visit Taehyung while he was in the hospital, so she would always drop me off and leave.
When I brought him downstairs to the waiting area, she saw him again since the last time which is when he first woke up. Right there, she broke down into tears with a weak smile sneaking its way onto her face.
She had inched closer in an attempt to give him a hug, but he retreated further behind me. I gave my mom a puzzled look, but she seemed unfazed by his weird behaviour. After that, he stayed so close to me, gripping the hem of the back of my shirt in his fingers. I'm not complaining though.
When we were in the car, he stayed right under me, even when we reached home. He looked at the place with what seems like a scared expression, but I couldn't understand why.
Everywhere I went in the house, he followed. For the rest of the day, he was like a shadow, clinging to my body and lurking right behind. I didn't mind, until he attempted walked into the bathroom with me. I had to stop him when I was going to shower, trying so hard to not fall victim to his puppy dog gaze.
When I had finished, he was sitting on the couch with the TV off.
"What do you want to watch?" I question, walking over to him and trying to dry my damp hair with my one good hand.
"I don't know, you pick," he says, looking up to meet my gaze. "You're the host."
"But you're the guest." I say back, looking down at him, a little smirk forming on my face because I remember have a conversation like this before with him. (A/n: u probably don't remember it it's from chapter 14.)
"But it's you're house right, you should pick."
"Fine whatever, this talk feels like deja vu." I laugh, plonking down on the seat next to him.
"What do you mean?" He questions.
"Huh?" Is the first thing that comes out of my mouth.
"Have we had this chat before?" He ask, looking completely lost.
"Yeah, but nevermind then if you don't remember." I just say, giving up on the topic.
As I scroll through the movies on on demand, I recognise a familiar one I've watched with him before.
"What are we going to watch?" He questions, keeping his gaze on the screen.
"We'll definitely not Paranormal activity again that's for sure," I joke, the memories of that time flooding in and causing me to cringe at my wuss reaction when I watched to movie with him.
"When did we watched that?"
"What? You don't remember that either?" I ask, accepting him forgetting a conversation, but a movie? Do people really forget a movie they've watched not too long ago? He shakes his head no to my question, so innocently that I doubt he was just bluffing me.
My throat starts to dry a little, probably because of the cold sweat forming on the outside of my body and stealing all the moisture with it. Why am I feeling nervous right now.
"Hey Taehyung," I say carefully, now my full attention on him. "You wanna hang by the tree tomorrow morning?"
"Hmmm, what tree?" He ask, not even looking at me but the screen.
That question felt like I just got shot, so sudden in striking and not even foreshadowed that I think I jolted in place a little.
"What do you mean Tae, the tree we first met at, you playing too much with me right now."
He finally meets my gaze, genuinely looked confused. Is he really not playing me?
"Tae, you know, the same tree that we spent my birthday party, where I..."
Should I really remind him that I kissed him? No. He should remember it even if I don't explain the kiss. He gives me a look like I'm explaining some weird dream I had, mixing it up with reality. But he was there by the tree before I even knew it existed for crying out loud.
"Do you really not remember Tae?" I ask desperately."
"What am I supposed to remember Jimin?"
"Jimin can I talk to you!" My mom yells for me from the kitchen.
I heard, I heard my mom calling for me, I wasn't completely gone in my mind yet, but I still didn't move just by the shock that stunned my body.
How does he not remember? Is he just joking with me? But he can't, he looked too lost to just be acting like he is.
Tae taps me on my shoulder, causing me to wake up from some sleep I had with my eyes open.
"Uh Jimin, a woman's calling you."
"Oh, yeah, I know. It's my mum," I say, looking everywhere but his eyes. "I'll, be back. Coming mum!"
I try to act natural, but I couldn't help getting up quickly and rushing to talk to my mum.
"Mummy something's wrong with Taehyung," I rush in ranting frightened, fidgeting a little in place. "He doesn't remember some things and-"
"I know Jimin,"
"What? What do you mean?" What happened to Taehyungie?"
"With Taehyung,"she starts, taking a deep breath in and making sure to look my directly in my eyes. "The doctor said he has temporary memory loss."
"Seriously? How much does he not remember? A few days worth? A week?"
"Baby, he doesn't remember anything else except for the terrible things that happened to him that day,"She says with an apologetic tone. "He's suffering from a little amnesia."
My head starts to shake no on it's own. I wanted to block out my moms words, I didn't like what she was saying. My mind felt like it wasn't comprehending such simple words she was telling me.
"The doctor said we could decide if we want to tell him or not," she tells me slowly, probably noticing that I was having a hard time believing it. "Since you're the closes to him, I was going to let you decide."
After that, mom gave me a quick hug when I didn't respond, and I stood there even after she had walked away. I pulled myself together just enough to walk back to Taehyung, telling him that I was going to bed early, and walking away before he could ask me why.
I lay there for a while in my bed, until it was late enough that my whole room went pitch black; wide awake but still in dreamland. In my head, trapped in my thoughts.
My same old ceiling, I remember it. I'm used to it. To Taehyung, it's like a new place to him. He doesn't remember. He doesn't remember anything before that hellish day.
He forgot about the first time we met. The things we told each other. The things only we would know. He forgot that he made me smile excessively, he doesn't remember what my different hugs felt like.
My door creaks open, with a little light peaking in and a wondering Taehyung peaking in with it.
"Hey Taehyung," I say softly, prompting myself up so I can look at him. Why is he here?
"Hi Jimin," he says shyly, playing with the hem of a shirt that belonged to me and hugging his pillow like a stuff animal.
"What's wrong?" I ask because he didn't seem like he was going to tell me.
He seems a little hesitant, but he took a deep breath to ready himself. "Can I," he starts, fidgeting in the doorway with his pillow and only looking down." Sleep with you, from now on?"
I throw him a surprised gaze, but it was definitely too dark to see it. "Uh yeah, but, can I ask why?"
"Umm, this is kinda embarrassing but, I'm scared to sleep by myself at the moment," he admits softly, still not looking at me. "So can I?"
"Sure," I agree gently, a warm smile sneaking pass my facial features as I stare at him, reminding me of a little kid who was afraid of the dark. "You can stay in my room from now on,"
Taehyung makes he's way inside my room from his position at the doorway, closing the door as quietly as he can. He shuffles he way over to my bed, making it dip down by his weight as he sat. He lies to me with his back to my view, and I keep the urge of wonder to reach out and caress his dark brown locks.
Right now, he's missing fragments of his life, both good and bad memories. He forgot when we went fishing and came back soaking wet, he forgot the place that we met for the very first time.
I stare as he wiggles around trying to get comfortable. I had given up on keeping to myself, because my hand reached out and caressed his hair anyway.
He forgot me cuddling up under him when we watched Paranormal activity, and he doesn't remember my first kissed that I shared with him.
I'm not sure if I should be thankful for him forgetting the kiss, cause that means only I know about that memory; and the many other memories that come with his memory loss.
"Goodnight Jimin," he whispers over his shoulder, not saying anything about me playing with his hair.
But he only calls me Jimin and not by a nickname. I don't like that.
"Good night, TaeTae," I whisper back, finally retracting my hand back to my side.
There's only one solution.
I'll just have to make him remember.