Chapter 20
Two of them ran into the hall way and brought them both into the kitchen, Laila was screaming and crying whilst my mum remained calm. She knew if she tried anything something bad could happen.
Marques- So?" I didn't even have to think about it. I took out my phone and scrolled down to messages, Inbox and opened it.
Me-here
Him-Don't be dumb, send it to me" I nodded and forwarded it to him. His message tone went off and he checked it.
Him-now was that hard Ria
Me-Azeria." He lightly laughed
Him-whatever your name is" I said reading over the address.
Him-alright boys, let them go" Soon as they let go Laila ran to me and my mum walked over furious.
Me-can you go now" I said not trying to sound rude
Marques-Sorry for the inconvenience miss Vasquez" How the fuck does he know my last name :S
My mum just shook her head to say just get out, and with that they all left. It was just dark and silent as we all stood in the kitchen. Laila had a terrified look plastered on her face. This is all my fault. The sharp breeze attacked the kitchen as Laila rushed off to close the back door.
20 minutes ago it was boiling, funny how English weather works.
Mum-Explain" she said with a hard look on her face. She always came across as a push over but her eyes and facial expression showed another side of her.
Me-I can't
Her-I didn't ask if you can explain or not. I said Explain" Her voice was so stern and threatening. I knew I fucked up.
Me-What do you want to know
Her-Why they were in my FUCKING HOUSE!" she said with so much rage in her voice. I've never seen her like this. She was actually scaring me.
Me-they wanted something
Her-like
Me-an Address
Her-why?
Me-to get to someone
Her-Who's address was it" I kept silent
Her-Ria, this is the wrong time for you to become silent
Me-Regan's
Her-they didn't look like friendly people, why did they want it
Me-to get to him
Her-why
Me-no idea" I said lying
Her-Do not lie to me
Me-I'm not, I swear" I said trying to sound truthful.
She stared at me and went to bring Laila upstairs. I then heard the front door slam as I heard their footsteps making its way upstairs.
I sighed and didn't know what to do.
I just went into the living room and sat in silence for 2 hours.
She then walked in after probably settling Laila and getting her to bed
Her-I want you out" I quickly looked up
Me-Mama?
Her-Get out of my house, take all your belongings with you, I don't want to see you near this house again" she said with a serious tone.
Me-Mama, what, why?
Her-They could have killed me and you little sister over a silly Address, what if it was something more valuable, I can't risk it
Me-Mum this was a one off. I made a massive mistake
Her-Teenagers make mistakes all the time, I can't afford you making more of them
Me-It was just this once" I said begging
Her-You are a big risk to us, safety comes first. I'm sorry" she said looking sad. Why?
I stayed silent trying to register this all in.
Me-so your telling me to leave because of this one time
Me-I can protect you
Her-can you really" this sort of reminded me of something. Regan.
Her-your only a 15 year old teenager. You can't do much" I rolled my eyes
Me-I'm sorry Mama, please one more chance?
Her-No" he said in a Spanish accent
Me-Por Favor Mama" I said begging through tears
Her-I will not say it again. I want you out by tomorrow, I will tell your school your ill so you can find a place to live
Me-Mama Por Favor" she then began to leave
Me-Mama!" she just shut the door and went upstairs to go to bed.
I'm being kicked out by my mum.
I was just in so much shock I sat there till 3 in the morning shocked at that I have come this far that my mum is kicking me out. What am I going to do with my life. I have no mum, no dad...
What if I moved to Congo. I just shook my head. I'm going nowhere near there, I'd probably get married straight away and will have a hard life because of his 2 wives and his 8 spoilt children.
I then got my house phone and called me dad.
-Hello" he said in a fresh accent
-Papa?
-Azeria?
-Yeah" I said sniffing.
-Are you okay
-n.. Yes. Just calling to say hello" I said chickening out
-Really. I'm quite shocked" I laughed
-Well
-Hello, how is school darling
-Great
-That's fantastic, im so happy to hear your voice" I could hear he was genuinely happy
-I miss you
-Ohh, I miss you too. I will visit as soon as I can" he said Excited
-Really
-yes, I have to go into a meeting, but thank you so much for calling
-No probs Papa
-Ahh" he said laughing
-Please call soon
-I will
-Great, I love you my precious daughter
-I love you too Papa" We both then said out byes as I then hung up.
After that one small phone conversation, all the hate I had for him suddenly disappeared. He actually cared for me but I was just pushing him away. I should have told him, but I didn't want to seem like I was using him.
I then called Jay
-Hello" he said in a deep and sexy voice.
-Jay?" I said wiping away a tear
- are you okay" he said getting worried. Even after everything he still cares.
-No.. I need you. I need you Jay" I said crying. I then heard rustling on the phone
-Whats wrong
-My mum is kicking me out for good and I have nowhere to stay
-Serious?
-Yeah" there was a silence as I could hear his fan in the background
-Don't you have any family, or anything. Kadeesha?
-My mum wouldn't want my family knowing" it then went silent
-Kadeesha?" I didn't want to stay at hers, I wanted to be with him.
-Can I stay with you" It was silent again.
-Hmmm" I could tell he didn't want me to, he was obviously still mad at me
-Don't worry, I'll ask Kadeesha. Bye" I then hung up and laid down on the sofa and wiped away my tears.
I just carried on with my thoughts and soon dozed off.
It was the next morning. It was 7am as my mum woke me up.
Her-better start getting ready" she said not looking at me, I just nodded and got up.
She soon dropped Laila to school as I then called Kadz.
-Yo Baby wassup
-Kadz, I'm sorry to drop this on you but can I move in
-What stay over
-no, move in
-Move in?
-yeah
-Why?
-My mum kicked me out
-Shit, why?
-Long story
-Babes I don't know, I have bare fam staying over. One sec let me ask my mum
I then listened in as they spoke
Kadz-Mum
Mum-yes Kadeesha, hurry up and get ready
Kadz-Mum, urmm can Ria move in
Mum-Move in?
Kadz-yeah her mum sort of kicked her out and she has nowhere to stay
Mum-oh wow. Well, *sigh* I don't want her to be homeless but the house is packed. People sleeping on Couches, floors. Please say im deeply sorry
-Ria?
-Don't worry I heard
-I'm really sorry
-no I understand, thanks anyways
-where you gonna stay
-I'll find somewhere
-alright if not call me and I'll see what I can do
-thanks
-it's alright, talk to you later
-alright
-bye
-bye" I then hung up and felt depressed.
I decided to get up and have a shower to clear my head. I had a nice 30 minute shower, got out and creamed myself. I flung on some baggy jeans and a plain red top.
I just couldn't think of anything, I sat there for an hour thinking and no one. No one was close enough friends to ask. I even thought about Nathan but he was just strictly business.
I was so fed up of not having a clue where I'm going to end up at the end of the day I began packing. I packed all my clothes into one big suitcase stuffing some stuff I will need inside it. I had more clothes than anything so after packing my clothes I was nearly done.
I then done my make-up and my hair and then packed that away too. I then got big massive hand bag and stuff some photo's and stuff in there and I was done.
It had taken me 3 hours to do that all and I just laid down on my carpet thinking. My brain was just so drained I soon gave up and sighed.
Me-oh shit I almost forgot
I rushed to under my wardrobe and took out a fat envelope. It had thousands and thousands of pounds in it. I saved this just in case my mum, Laila and I got into some financial problem. We could survive for a while. I then stuffed that into my big hand bag and stared at my purple wall. This was completely pointless. I didn't know how alone in this world I was until now. I hardly have any friends. Well close friends and well my family can be stingy and rude.
More hours went by and it was now 8pm I hadn't left my room, I was still figuring out where to live. My mum and Laila had come back ages ago and was giving me some thinking space.
I then picked up my phone and scrolled through my contacts list for the 18th time and sighed like I did all those other times. I feel so lost.
My bedroom door then knocked
Me-yeah come in" Laila walked in smiling
Her-:O where you going?
Me-away for a while
Her-how comes, we only just back" she said in her cute voice. I couldn't help but smile
Me-I know
Her-that's not fair" she said sulking
Me-aww, I'll see you again soon
Her-promise" she said lifting up her pinky finger. I didn't want to promise her something I wasn't sure I could stick to.
Me-promise" I said rapping mine around hers
Her-good
Me-don't forget me yeah
Her-course not" she said smiling
Me-good, you know I love you yeah
Her-I know I know" she said rolling her eyes playfully
Me-good, do you love me
Her-Duhh silly" she said giggling
My mum then walked in and asked Laila to leave.
She pecked me on the check as I then pecked her forehead and with that she left.
Mum-found a place to stay" I then nodded.
Her-good, well..." she then began breaking down.
Her-I do love you Ria, I'm sorry but please understand" I nodded, trying not to cry
Her-well, ill let you get ready to leave" she then left the room and shut the door behind her
I got up as my chest began to hurt. You know, that physical pain in your chest when your hurting so much. I picked up my suitcase and wheeled it to the door. I grabbed my big bag and left the room.
I then wheeled it down the stairs making up so much noise. As I reached the bottom of the stairs I sighed and put on my trainers and coat.
Her-be safe" I nodded as he kissed my forehead
Her-I Love you" I just smiled not wanting to say it back. If you really loved someone, you'd forgive and forget what they did or caused.
I opened the front door and dragged out my suitcase. I shut the door behind me and made my way to nowhere.
I just wheeled it to the end of the road and then began thinking again. My only hope was the hostel on the high road. It was Grime, but it was somewhere to stay.
No. I'm not staying there, why am I even on the bottom of my road looking for a place to move in at the age of 15 with my mum at home.
The best thing to do Is to ask my dad for help, he's the only person I can rely on right now.
I then took out my phone and called him knowing this will finish all of my credit.
I pressed call as I waited for it to ring. After a long minute it then began ringing. As I was waiting it just rang, rang, rang and continued to Ring.
Me-please Papa!" I said begging for him to pick up, but then it just carried on ringing.
My phone soon cut out since I wasted all my credit on this pointless call.
Me-great, the one time I actually want your help" I then put my phone away disappointed in him and in the life god gave me.
I fixed myself up and then wheeled my suitcase all the way to the smelly broken down hostel where I may live for the majority of my life.
I walked trough dark back streets and creepy roads, it got dark early today so I was walking at inappropriate times.
I soon arrived and looked up at the place. It smelt from outside. I swallowed my spit preparing for what I may have to deal with every day.
I walked in and went to some desk where some lady was sitting. She stared at me probably thinking another lost black child.
Woman-how can I help you
Me-urm, do you have any rooms for me to stay in
Woman-Sorry, we are full" my heart the smacked against the ground. So where am I going to stay
Me-oh. Okay thank you" I said getting ready to leave
Her-take any bus from this bus stop there and get off in 7 stops. There is another hostel for just youths. There may be rooms there" she said sensing my anger and pain.
I then got my suitcase and left the building and waited at the bus stop. No busses were coming for the next 18 minutes. Great it was soon hitting 10.
Loads of girls and boys were walking past looking at me oddly as they made loads of noise. I just ignored them. After 25 minutes the bus came. I don't see the point in those time thingies, it doesn't mean the bus will come at that time it says.
I then got on the bus and counted 7 stops. I soon pressed the bell and got off the bus.
This has to be one of the longest days in my life.
I then walked over the hostel and took a deep breath, this one didn't look and smell as bad as the other one thank god.
I then walked over to the desk to see a white woman sitting down.
Women-hi, are you okay
Me-no. I need a place to stay, is there a room available?
She then looked down as she was maybe looking for a room.
Her-Hmm, okay well I'm sorry there's no room
Me-seriously?
Her-I'm sorry
Me-I don't care I will share. Anything?
Her-I would say yes but It's not aloud. I'm really sorry. Come back tomorrow, we may have some room
I just nodded trying to keep my tears back.
I just got my stuff and left wheeling to go knows where. I was just feeling so depressed and down I stopped thinking and was walking with no plan in my head.
I found some park and found a place behind some bush in a well hidden place and sat down. Tears rolled down my eyes as I made no sound. My mouth was dry, my chest and throat was killing me. And me, I just felt punished and that God had given up on me and left me hanging to sort out my own problems.
I refused to pray, as much as I like to believe I am a Christian, if god was that powerful and caring he would not put me in this position. This is cruelty.
Everything right now has just let me down.
This is a new chapter of my life. The new me. Homeless and alone.
(Sad timess =])