The rest if the day went by im a blur. I could only remember bits and pieces: J.J. holding me tight and smoothing my hair, Garica going out to buy me some high calorie hor chocolate and then watching me chug the whole thing. Spencer was always there in the background, watching, not wanting to burden me with his random statistics. That was my only recollection of the day until now.
Derek was fixing dinner even though he knew it would take some fighting to get me to eat it.
I was sitting on the couch. my arms wrapped around me knees, wimpering. Whenever I put the blanket over my face, Derek would always come over, pull it off, kiss my forehead, and tell me "we're gonna catch this guy, Abby."
But I didn't believe him. How could i? It's only been two months since he killed my family and now the Rodgers? Why? I told myself not to think about it or I would drive myself insane. So I didn't.
Derek knocked me out of my train of thought when he said, " Abby, come and eat somehting."
I shook my head; the last thing I wanted to do now was eat. But I knew it wasn't worth the fight, so I got up and made my way to the table.
I ate. But only enough to make Derek satisfied.
"Abby," Derek said delicately as I was just about to get up. "Do you still want to do this?"
I felt my heart turn to stone. I had no pity for Marcus. He deserved to die and I would see to it even if I had to pull the trigger myself.
********************************
The next day at the office, I could tell something was off. Something happened, a secret that no one would share.
I briefly knocked on Hotch's door before opening it. Derek had offered to talk to him for me - along with other things about my mental well being - but I declined. This - as well as so many other things - I just had to do myself.
"Hello?" I asked, not sure if anyone was actually in here.
"Abigail," Hotch said, swirling around in his office chair to face me.
I nodded. "I need to talk to you, sir."
Just then, a picture from behind him fell from the small table.
"Your wife?" I asked as he quickly righted the photo.
"Yes," he replied, his gaze now ice cold.
In the dim office, it was hard to see Hotch's expression. I guessed it was the same impassive mask he always wore.
"I know, " he said, forcing a hard smile. "I need to open the blinds. "
I was about to say something, the word rising in my throat when he said," I could tell because you were looking at the lights and the windows. I ccan open them if that would make you more comfortable. "
"Hotch. You don;t have to treat me like a victimim anymore. I want to be part of this team. I want Marcus dead just as much as you wanted the Ripper dead, " I said seriously.
All traces of easygoing-ness gone, Hotch stared back at me. Sometimes I wondered how he could never smile, but then I remember his job.
"I need to know that you can handle yourself," he replied, not breaking his stare. His voice had a ring of authority to it that I didn't like.
"I can," I said in a strong voice.
"Yesterday you left here in tears. Is that what you call 'keeping a grip on things'?"
That wounded my confidence. A lot.
I cleared my throat anyway. "That was yesterday. "
He threw me an unbelieveing look.
And I snapped. "Wouldn't you if you were under the same circumstances? No family. No freedom. Always having to look over your shoulder? Always having to cover your tracks? Never knowing if today is the day he's going to find you. Now, pray tell, Hotch, how I should be handling myself. " Through my monolouge, I had risen out of my seat and was pretty much yelling.
It was then that Garcia burst through the door with an uneasy look on her face. "Sir. The meeting. "
Hotch escorted me out of his office. He leaned down and whispered, "We're not done talking," in my ear. This brought shivers up my spine.
I followed him into the meeting room.
I was suprised to not only find all of the usual team, but a few local police officers there as well. They all had their eyes glued to me as I entered and sat at the designated chair between Derek and Rossey.
"Hotch is just giving the profile, " Derek whispered, leaning closer to me.
"So hwy am I here?" I pushed, my tone ringing of innocence.
He just shrugged and directed his gaze to Hotch.
"Our unsub goes my th ename of Marcus Hanes-" Hotch began.
I gripped my stomach, made like I was going to puke and ran out of the room, knocking everything in my way to the ground.
I didn't need to look back to know that Derek had followed me. I sprinted to the ladie's room and slammed the door, locking it as soon as it shut with a satisfying slam.
"Okay, " I whispered to myself, kneeling down to rummage through the cabnet below the sink.
Finally, I found a cup. I snatched it from its spot and filled it with water. I grabbed my handy dandy cell phone, pressing buttons so it would record the sound.
Immediately after I hit the RECORD button, I made the most realistic puking sound I could muster and dumped the water in the tiolet. I pressed STOP on my phone, feeling immensely proud.
"Abby!" Derek pounded on the door with both fists.
"It's ... It's okay, Derek I think I just -" and I pressed the PLAY button on my phone, grinnning in satisfaction.
"I'll be fine, " I said faintly after a few moments.
I silently cheered for myself. This plan was so going to work.
"You sure?" Derek pressed, his tone now softer than before.
I groaned and flushed the toilet in reply. The second I knew Derek was gone, I set my phone down on the sink, making it play the barfing sound non-stop - oh, the power of Smart Phones. There was a window in the bathroom; it was key to my escape. I jumped lightly onto the toilet seat and opened the window will before leaping out of it.
It was raining outside, teh sky gray. I prayed I would blend in as I sprinted away from the building. My feet pounded on the slippery cement, making splashes in every puddle I encountered.
I laughed at myself. I was pure genius. But here was the real question: how was I going to find Marcus?
I halted my running, absolutley puzzled. I really hadn't thought this through, had I?
"'ello, Miss. You look a might bit confused. May I be of service?" a guy only about 20 or so asked. And if I do say so myself he was a might bit attractive. He had touseled honey blond hair, a hint of a five o'clock shadow, and sparkling, innocent green eyes.
I smiled inspite of myself. Derek was going to kill me. "Actually, I think you can. But before I begin, my name is Abby."
He nodded thoughtfully. "I'm Liam," he replied in that irresistable British acsent.
"Well, Liam," I said, leading him to a drippin bus bench. "Do you want to know the truth?" I delicately sat down and crossed my legs. I knew this was dangerous - for my plan, that is. I wasn't nearly as far away from the BAU office as I ought to be and they would be looking for me soon.
Liam sat down next to me - rather close if I say so myself. But I - being the teenager that I am - had no problem whatsoever with that. "That is why I asked, mi - I mean Abby."
I smiled polietly. I could see the BAU office in the not so far off distance. Not once did I take my eyes off of it. "I'm looking for a man. Marcus Hanes. He-" I stopped the rest of my sentence catching in my throat.
Liam looked into my eyes, searching. "What did he do?" I could tel he genuienly cares. He seemed honest enough, but did I dare tell him?
I quickly decided that I could. Liam didn't know mw, I didn't know him. We were strangers. What could it hurt?
I swallowed as a bullet came slicing through the raindrops and dug itself right into Liam's shoulder.
******
A\N hey, guys I hope you like this chapter! i know its REALLY over due but at least its here right? Tell me whatcha ya think! :)