A/N: Here is a nice Arthur-George chapter. Warning: Mention of Miscarriage
Rolling over in bed, Arthur groaned as he read the clock on the bedside table.
2:23 a.m.
He had been lying awake for nearly four hours. This is how it had been since he had returned home five nights ago.
Thinking about it, this shouldn't be happening at all. Everything should be getting better now that things seemed to have been worked out; Percy was welcomed back, they knew where Charlie was off to every day, all the other kids were doing their best at getting back to normal, and Arthur stopped drinking completely and did his best to keep his attitude in check...but something just wasn't right.
Molly didn't stir as Arthur got out of bed and slipped out of the room. Ever since they got married, one would wake when the other got up, but since a month ago neither sensed the other's absence. For the first time in thirty years, the perfect couple was out of sync.
With a flick of his wand, Arthur turned on a lamp in the kitchen then fixed two cups of hot tea. George would be joining him any minute now. Where Arthur would get sick of lying in bed around 2:30, George would get bored around 2:45. No one knew George had trouble sleeping until he startled his dad a few nights ago. So, father and son would sit at the kitchen table, sipping their tea and hardly saying a word. It's not that George didn't want to talk, but he could clearly see his dad didn't want to be bothered. Tonight would be a bit different, though.
"Dad?" George asked quietly, looking over at his father.
"Hmm?" Arthur didn't lift his gaze from his mug.
"I'm worried about you."
"I don't know why...Things are getting back on track."
"Things might be, but that doesn't mean you're getting better.. Around everyone else you smile and act as if everything is okay again, and they all believe it. But I see what no one else does, because you don't bother hiding it this late at night."
Arthur knew George was right. He had gone back to putting on a façade, but when he was alone, he took the mask off. The only reason he let his guard down around George was because he was too tired to keep up the act.
Arthur sighed then asked, "You haven't told anyone, have you?"
"No," George said because his father still wasn't looking at him. "But you need to at least talk to Mum about whatever this is."
Arthur didn't respond, so George put his empty mug in the sink and went back to his bedroom. He still had a question for his dad, but that would have to wait for another night.
ooOoo
The next two nights were spent like the first few: sipping their tea and not saying anything then going back to bed to finally fall asleep. Arthur thought about what George said, but he couldn't talk to anyone about what was bothering him, not even his Mollywobbles. It was evident to George that his parents still hadn't discussed this, because his dad's behavior hadn't changed any; in fact, it seemed to be getting even worse.
After half an hour of silence, George finally spoke up to ask what he'd been wanting to for a while.
"Dad...How long will this last?" he asked quietly.
Arthur wasn't sure what his son was getting at; he assumed it was about his own behavior, so his tone was a bit rough when he responded. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, you and Mum have both lost brothers and other people you've cared about. I was just wondering how long I'll feel like this...If I'll ever go a day without missing him...If things will get easier."
As George clarified, he gained his father's full attention. Arthur wasn't expecting this; however, he should have realized one of his kids would eventually ask this. He set his tea down and stared at it for a moment before looking back at George.
The pained expression on his dad's face caused George to think perhaps he had asked the wrong parent. He knew this topic would upset his Mum, but he wasn't anticipating this reaction from his dad.
"To be honest with you, Son, it may never get easier." Arthur's voice was faint as he spoke. "The pain of losing someone eventually fades, but you may find yourself thinking about your brother or missing him nearly every day." He looked back at his tea. "I know I have, for twenty-three years."
George barely heard the last thing his father said; perhaps he wasn't supposed to have heard it. He made a few quick calculations in his head. No one in the family had died around that time. He knew most of his family's history, and it's hard to keep secrets with so many people. Gossip and stories were the main topics of conversation at all family get-togethers, so at some point he would have heard something that would give a reason for his dad's current mood. But he either couldn't think of it or was completely in the dark. Curiosity got the best of George.
"Who were you talking about?" George ventured, hoping he hadn't crossed a line.
Arthur thought for a few minutes, uncertain on if he should tell George the truth. The only people who had known were him and Molly, their parents, and Bill and Charlie, which the kids most likely didn't remember. Something urged him to open up. It had been so long since he had talked about it, he really needed to get it off his chest. He couldn't bring himself to look at his son, though.
"You have an older sister." Arthur drew in a shaky breath. "Well, you should."
George was speechless
"...She was stillborn, and after all was said and done, we agreed never to talk about her. And that worked for a while."
Even though Arthur fell silent, George sensed he really needed to talk about it now. He wanted to know more also. "What was her name?"
"Gracie." He hadn't spoken her name since he and Molly had decided to pretend nothing had happened. It felt nice to finally say her name again.
"That's a pretty name. I like it."
Arthur nodded, not trusting himself to speak. A lump had suddenly formed in is throat.
"Is that why there's four years between Charlie and Percy?"
"She'd be turning twenty-four this month."
Arthur couldn't hold it in any longer – He broke down. The only thing George knew to do was hold his dad tight, and Arthur clinged to his son. It was a long time before he could pull himself together, but that's what two decades of built up emotions does. George didn't let go until his dad did.
Arthur took several deep breaths and dried his face with his sleeve. "Sorry about that," he muttered. "I think I'll go back to bed."
"Dad," George stopped him before he could stand. "There's nothing to be sorry for. That must have been terrible to go through. And not talking about it probably didn't help any either. If you still need to talk, neither of us will be sleeping any time soon anyway."
They sat in silence until Arthur felt he could speak without bursting into tears again.
"Years passed and I barely thought about her, but as you all got older, I found myself wondering more and more often what things would be like, what she would look like, her personality, her career." He paused briefly. "That's the worst part now...not knowing."
"Can I tell what I think? I think Gracie would be a lot like you." Hearing someone else say her name brought tears to Arthur's eyes again; he was able to control it this time though. George wasn't trying to upset his dad more, but it was the truth. With how much Ginny resembled Molly, it was only logical to assume Gracie would be more like Arthur.
"There you are," Molly said softly as she entered the kitchen.
Not bothering to hide his disappointment at this interruption, Arthur said irritably, "Yes, here we are." The first time he had been able to talk about his baby girl who had been taken from him had been abruptly ended by the appearance of his wife.
"What is that you're drinking?" Molly asked.
"Tea," Arthur said casually.
"It's just tea?"
"Yes," Arthur snapped back. "Do you think I'm lying?"
"I'm not sure what to think these days, especially when I get up to use the bathroom and find you down here every night."
"Mum, it is just tea, and he hasn't been doing anything he shouldn't," George broke in before things could escalate.
"You've been eavesdropping on us," Arthur accused.
"No, I haven't. But maybe I should have been since you're being so defensive."
Before George could open his mouth, Arthur shot him a warning glance. Quickly, George stepped back. This was the last place he wanted to be right now, but even though he trusted his dad, Arthur wasn't watching his temper at the moment.
"Or maybe it's none of your concern. Otherwise, I would wake you up and invite you to join us."
George came to stand behind Arthur and whispered in his ear. "Maybe you should talk to her about this. I said the other night you should talk about whatever's bothering you."
"This isn't what's been bothering me. Nothing is bothering me! And I expect you won't say anything about tonight." Arthur pushed George's hand off his shoulder, mumbled something about going back to bed, and left the kitchen.
George looked at his mum. "You better not try blaming this one on him. Goodnight."
Molly stopped her son as he passed her and looked at him pleadingly. "What were you talking about?"
"Sorry, I'm not telling you. He told me in complete confidence. You know, he may have opened up to you if you hadn't come in here with an attitude." He left Molly by herself to think things over.
George poked his head in his parents' bedroom. Arthur was in the bed, facing away from the door.
"Dad, don't worry. I won't tell anyone."
Arthur didn't move or acknowledge his son.
"And if you ever want to finish that conversation...I'm here."
A/N: There you go. Comment and let me know what y'all think.