He slept in the manor that night.
And the next.
It was weird, being in his old room after so long. In a way it was oddly comforting. The room itself had hardly changed - he had changed rooms in the manor in the simulation soon after the Invasion, for fear of unwanted memories. It was ironic, how the fear of the memories then held them at bay now.
There was a downside; something that ran unspoken among the three members of the house but still there and visible to them all.
He was going to have to go back to Gotham Academy.
I'm ready. He told himself as he clutched the sinktop, staring into the bathroom mirror at the boy who was too young to be him. His hair was gelled back neatly - something his hands had remembered to do and performed of their own accord - and he was wearing his school uniform.
You got this. That was what he had assured himself repeatedly. What Alfred and Bruce thought, and showed through little actions. The encouraging look Bruce gave him. The comfort food Alfred had prepared him for breakfast.
They wouldn't make you do this if you weren't ready. He told himself, but he was still unsure. It had been so long for him since he had them in his life. Years. He had a great memory and remember what they looked like and their personality, but he didn't remember enough to be absolutely certain that they wouldn't push him a bit. Test how far he could go without breaking down.
You've been through worse. His mouth turned into a grim line and his face hardened at the memory. In the mirror, he realized that he looked so much older than thirteen. I am older. I have lived thirty years more than I should have.
And those years weren't full of just happy memories.
"Jason." he gasped out to Batgirl through the comm unit as he carried the boy to the Batmobile. "He got hit with fear gas. I...administered the...ant-antidote b-but he's out...cold. His pulse...it's slowing. Prep the medbay." He was soaking wet from being pushed into the icy waters of Gotham's River, and water from his hair dripped down onto the unconscious boy he was carrying.
/Received.| He noted of the clear worry in her voice and the bit of fear that she couldn't manage to hide. /Batgirl out.\
"C'mon Jay." He murmured as he reached the Batmobile. He awkwardly opened up the door, carefully placed the boy inside and secured him. There was nothing else he could do for him on sight.
He quickly ran to the other side and plopped into the seat behind the wheel. "C'mon Jay." He repeated, casting a glance at the prone, pale figure in the mirror before zooming into the night, heading for the manor. He prayed he wouldn't be too late.
He clenched the counter tighter. He breathed deeply, trying to make himself relax.
He let go of the sink and grabbed his cellphone that was sitting on the edge of it. He had only looked at it once, and that was to remark about how much times had changed. He turned it on and he bit his lip when he saw five missing calls from Barbara and two from Bette. He also had too many texts to count from both girls, and some from Wally. He let out a sigh, closed his eyes for a second.
-I'm fine. I was sick with a nasty virus. I'll be at school today.- He typed back to Barbara.
Instantly, she texted back. -You better, Grayson. You had us worried.-
-I'll be there. Promise.- Why did he do that? Now he had to go. Simulation or no simulation, forty-three or thirteen, he could never break a promise to Barbara.
"Come on." Barbara told him, tossing him a pair of sunglasses which he easily caught. "We have to tell the League."
He opened his mouth to ask what exactly they were going to tell them, when she held up her left hand that held the engagement ring he had given her. It had a golden band with a dark red gemstone. He had recruited Stephanie for advice on it, and she had easily known what the ginger girl wanted.
At the sight of the ring and Barbara's smile, his face turned into a similar smile and he wrapped an arm around the woman and gave her a peck on the cheek. She grinned took the sunglasses from his hand and placed them on his face.
"C'mon." She urged him, nearly dragging him to the zeta beam.
"Someone's excited." he remarked, and she gave him a fake scowl.
"You can hardly talk. You were so impatient that you purposed to me on patrol."
"I'm never going to hear the end of that, am I?"
She simply gave him a look in response before typing in coordinates.
"Recognized: Nightwing, B01. Oracle, C01."
In a quick moment both out of costume heroes scanned the room. Red Robin was there talking to Rocket about something. Troia and Aquagirl were playing with Lian a little way away, with Tempest and Arsenal watching them.
"You called them here, didn't you?" He murmured as Zatanna came into the room, Redbird following. Oracle gave him an amused look, "Then why are Jay and Tim here? They already know."
"They wanted to see the looks on their faces." She said back quietly before walking forward, "Nightwing and I have something to tell you all." She announced, a smile on her face and he came up next to her.
The confusion on the Leaguer's faces turned to surprise as Nightwing gently grabbed her left hand and held it up for all to see.
"We're getting married."
"Stop it." He growled to himself, sliding the phone into his pocket. He grabbed the backpack that was sitting by the foot of his bed and slipped it on easily.
He left the room, silently shutting the door behind him and silently making his way down to the front door. Both Bruce and Alfred had offered to drive him, despite the former having to go to work, but he rejected the requests. He would walk. He wasn't sure he would have the strength to leave the car if he was driven, and the last thing he wanted to do was take the bus.
He almost slipped past Alfred - Bruce had already left - but he made himself call out, "Bye Alfred." Before he left the manor.
The exterior of the manor had hardly changed. The only differences was the older looking driveway (they had recently repaved it in the simulation, which had resulted in a chalk drawing contest following that Damian had won) and the neater cut bushes (they were still trimmed, but it had not been on par with Alfred's skill).
He kept his head down as he walked, a hood carefully placed over his neatly gelled hair so that he would not be too recognizable. Gotham itself had not changed too much in it's entirety, a building here, a parking lot there. The signs seemed wrong as well - he would glance at a building and see an advertisement for a company that had died out years ago.
Think of it as a mission. He told himself as he cast a glance at Gotham Park and tried to shake away the unwanted memories. You've time travelled back into the past. It's a mission. You'll go home tomorrow.
No reason to worry.
A part of him knew that lying to himself would only help him in the short term, and could actually hurt more in the long term. He had seen people like that; he had witnessed people going crazy as they denied that death was as much a part of life as life itself. He had no wish to join them, but he couldn't help himself.
He soon reached Gotham Academy. This building had refused change in the simulation.
He remembered the countless times he had picked up Tim or Stephanie (Damian had been home-schooled, due to his lack of social etiquette and patience) from the school. He let a smile come over his face when he imagined Jason being here. Jason had asked that if he was forced to go to school (which he and Barbara had forced him to do) if he could go to the Gotham North. He and Barbara had agreed, of course, but it didn't stop him from wondering what the once street orphan would do at the prestigious school.
He pulled back before a memory could grab him, and instead directed his attention on a blonde with bouncy curls. "Hey Bette." He greeted with a smile as he pulled the hood down.
Bette hit him lightly on the arm with her books, "Where were you? Me and Babs were freaking out!" She chastised him as they entered the building together.
"Sorry. I had a nasty bug." He lied smoothly. "I dropped my phone into the toilet - not one of my finer moments, I admit."
"Mr. Wayne got you a new one though, didn't he?" She asked, "You could have called. Or texted."
"Sorry." He apologized sheepishly, "That was the fever. I forgot that Bruce had bought me a new one until the other day." The lie came out so easily, he briefly wondered how he thought of it so quickly. "And he prefers Bruce, not Mr. Wayne."
"I'm sorry, Bruce bought you a new one . " She gave him a smile, "I'm happy you're back." She admitted, before looking at something over his right shoulder. " Someone's not going to be as forgiving as I am."
He turned to see Barbara who was walking towards them.
Seeing her, walking with her normal confident - but not prideful - stride that had each step emanating both fury and power, her shoulders set and her face in a fierce scowl, a grin came over his face.
And he fell in love with her all over again.
"Where were you?" She demanded, hitting him in the shoulder not holding back as much as Bette had.
Faint wisps of memory stirred at the brief contact, but he ignored them. Barbara was here. He didn't have to make himself concentrate on her because that was what he always did whenever she entered a room. It was instinct - something that eleven years of marriage had drilled into him.
"I was sick." He explained, wincing on the inside. He hated lying to her. There had been two people who he had been able to be completely open with in the simulation: Roy, and her. He didn't have to pretend to be invincible; that everything, that he, was okay. He could simply be himself without fear of rejection. His best friend and his wife. "I broke my phone and with the fever messing up my mind I didn't realize that Bruce had bought me a new one."
She looked at him skeptically, but he knew she wouldn't be able to detect the lie. Even if she knew them, his tells had changed and were nearly imperceptible unless you knew him closely. Like my Barbara did...
Don't think about that. Not now.
She hit him on the shoulder once more, "Don't worry us like that again, Grayson."
He smiled, she never changes. "I promise, Babs, Bette."
Bette smiled as well, "Good, because I don't think I could hold Barbara from murdering you."
He let out an uneasy chuckle, something his gut told him his thirteen-year-old self would have done.
As they turned to make their way to Barbara and Dick's lockers - which were close to each other due to the lack of last names that began with a 'G', Dick opened his mouth to say something, before shutting it.
This isn't my Barbara. He had to remind himself, No flirting.
This was going to be harder than he thought.
==============================
Alfred drove him home.
He was surprised that he made it through the day without calling the butler. The flashbacks weren't the hardest part of the day, like expected, but it was mostly his restraint. He couldn't flirt or kiss Barbara, he couldn't talk to Bette like normal (for she did survive the Invasion, and they were all still good friends), and he had to dumb himself down in all of the classes. He had already graduated college so the high school freshman classes were a breeze.
He had received a tremendous amount of make up work, but he concluded that that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. It would be an excuse to stay away from the Cave and an easy way for him to keep his mind from wandering.
Maybe things won't be so bad.
He wasn't foolish enough to think that everything would go back to normal. No, he had changed to much for that to ever be an option.
But maybe one day someone would ask him how he was doing and the answer would be 'okay' instead of 'fine'.