CHAPTER 27
I was lying in bed on my chest when I woke up to the cold night breeze. Besides the shivers running down my bare back, I was forced to open my eyes because I felt another pair boring into me. When I saw the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on, I couldn't help the smile that crept up my lips.
"Hi." She sweetly greeted.
"Hi." I greeted back, but I turned like a shy teenager seeing their crush for the first time.
I didn't know that I was that weak when it comes to Rhian. With one simple word, my cheeks could turn red and flushed.
Yup, this Rhian effect I have is pretty much getting worse.
"You are too cute for words sometimes, baby." She said, which made us both laugh.
Then she was about to move closer to me but her face painted hurt when she cringed and hissed with her body's small movement.
"Okay ka lang, mahal ko?" I asked as my hand protectively held her waist.
"I'm fine. Just... really sore." She weakly answered.
Rhian carefully sat up with a thick blanket covering her chest and lower body. That left me with a view of just her smooth bare back. I was also about to move to kiss her skin when I was stopped by the pain that shot right through my center and legs. She laughed at me when I groaned and buried my face on the pillow before forcing myself to sit.
"Same?" She teased.
"Didn't know you were that good." I casually answered as I started kissing her exposed skin.
My lips went from middle to top. Slowly. The last one that they paid attention to was her neck.
"Mahal ko, I don't think I can take another round. Stop it muna. Please." Her tone was filled with tenderness and apology.
"I'm sorry, mahal ko." I said as I sat properly, facing her side, and then I wrapped my arms around her slender waist.
"I love you." She said before kissing me on the lips shortly.
"I love you too."
My pair just stayed on her shoulder as she leaned her head on my forehead. Silence filled the room, both of us just feeling each other's breathing.
After a while, I glanced at the clock on top of the bedside drawer to check the time. I saw that it was nearly dinner time and I remembered that I haven't cooked yet. Yet I was torn if I still would because I want to take Rhian somewhere. Even though I agreed that we'd just stay in the unit all day and night, I figured that after what happened... it was only right to talk somewhere else. Some place that is a bit more romantic but still peaceful just for the both of us.
"Mahal ko, okay lang ba sayo kung lalabas tayo?"
"Why? Saan tayo pupunta?" Rhian asked back.
"I want to take you somewhere. But do you want to eat dinner first? I can cook. Or you want, sa labas nalang tayo kumain?" I offered.
She thought of it for a few seconds before she kissed my cheek.
"I love it everytime you cook, but it's okay. We can just eat outside." Rhian decided.
"Alright, baby. Mauna ka nang magshower or ako muna?"
"Or we can take a shower together?" She teasingly suggested.
"You know very well that I wouldn't be able to control myself if I agree to that. So wag nalang muna." I declined and she laughed at it.
"And you know very well too that I've never really stopped you."
"Rhian Denise!"
"Sus! Nag-inarte pa siya. Gusto niya rin naman." She teased more.
"Oh bakit? Wala naman akong sinabi na hindi ko gusto ah." I defensively reacted.
And with that, she crashed our lips together for a passionate kiss. Though she was the one who implied that we'd do another round, her movements remained gentle and loving. We kept kissing for a while before she stood up and pulled me with her. The moment we were on our feet, she immediately reconnected our mouths.
We didn't stop even until we reached the shower area. I knew we were both still sore yet we ended up being enveloped by the heat rushing down our insides. And I couldn't be more willing to surrender myself again to her.
...
"Wear this." Rhian ordered as she handed me her salmon pink long sleeves.
"WHAT?! Why? Baby, alam mo namang never akong nagsuot ng ganyang kulay. Pink and I don't really get along." I argued like a kid.
"Yeah, I know. But I want you to wear this. Please." She sweetly requested.
I scratched my head because I didn't understand why Rhian was suddenly making me wear it since she knows how much I hated that color.
"Ang aga mo namang maglihi, mahal ko." I joked which made us both laugh.
"Baliw ka talaga. Sige na, please. Pumayag ka na." She insisted.
I groaned as I took the clothing from her to wear it. Rhian cheered and gave me a peck. Once again, I did something I haven't done eversince, only because of her. I was that whipped.
"I love you." She said with a smile, showing her appreciation, as soon as I closed all the buttons.
"Oo na." I jokingly complained.
"You're supposed to answer it with I love you too, you know?"
"Fine. I love you too." I continued the teasing tone.
"Napipilitan? Sige na. Wag na. Sayo na yang I love you too mo. Salamat nalang." She added.
We both laughed with our foolishness before I wrapped my arms around her waist while hers went on top of my shoulders.
"Ang lakas ng tama mo ngayon, mahal ko. But I really do love you. So much." I stated with an assuring smile.
"I know, baby. And I love you too." Rhian replied before planting a quick kiss on my lips.
Then after some finishing touches, we already headed outside the building. Rhian wanted to walk for a while, so we just walked our way to a restaurant that would get her interest. Our casual and random conversation was cut when she immediately pulled her hand back when I was about to intertwine our fingers.
"Mahal ko? What's wrong?" I worriedly asked.
"Uhmm... nothing. I just..." She stuttered, having to take a pause to gather her thoughts.
"What is it?"
"Can we, uhmm... can we not do PDA? And just call each other by name?" Rhian anxiously said.
"Wait, what?! But why? May problema ba?" I panicked as I faced her while she had her head down.
"Wala. Basta. Can we just not do it? Please."
I wouldn't deny that I was hurt by her unexpected request. My mind got confused as well. I didn't know if she wanted it because she was suddenly ashamed of what we have or because of some other reason.
But I knew Rhian. She has always been comfortable with how we show our affection to each other in public. I didn't understand why out of nowhere, we turned like the complete opposite. And why now? After declaring our feelings, clearing our relationship, and making love with each other... why now?
"Okay. If that's what you want." I surrendered.
Of course, I could never say no to her. Rhian has done so much for me. Too many sacrifices. What was her small request compared to those? Not that I was counting who did more between us, but I wanted to make it up to her. I wanted to give her everything she asks for. That was the least I could do.
"You're good here?" She asked when we reached an interesting pasta place right around the corner.
"Yeah." I plainly said.
My mood switched upside down. I suddenly wanted to just go back to our unit, so we could act natural and do whatever the hell we want.
I was about to open the door for her like I always do, but then I quickly remembered that she asked if we could act casual. So I stopped myself and let her enter the restaurant first without any assistance.
While we were walking our way to an empty table, I was telling myself over and over again that I shouldn't pull Rhian's chair to help her sit comfortably. I had to be a friend. Just her friend. Or better yet, less than that. I had to cut down everything that my body has always been used to.
"What do you want to eat?" She asked.
"Kahit ano. Ikaw na magdecide." I plainly answered.
Rhian looked at me for a moment, like trying to know if I was gonna go all mad. But she let it go and just tell our orders to the waiter when he approached our table. I already lost my appetite, so it wasn't totally a big deal whatever she ordered for me.
While we were waiting for our foods to arrive, I only kept using my phone as I could feel Rhian's eyes on me. She remained silent but I knew she wanted to say something.
"You okay?" She asked after a whole minute of silence.
I gave her a nod instead of a verbal answer because I knew my voice would betray me if I talk.
No one said another word even until the foods were served. Rhian started eating bit by bit while I only sort of played with mine. She watched my every move and even every breath I took. It wasn't awkward at all, or maybe it only didn't feel that way because I was more... not in the mood because of her sudden weird actions and requests.
"Why don't you eat?" She softly asked.
"I'm not hungry, bab-- Rhian. I mean, I'm not hungry." I corrected.
"Yes, you are. You told me you're so hungry, you can finish a 3-course meal."
"Wala lang akong gana, okay?" My tone already turned a bit firm, showing my irritation no matter how much I was trying hard not to.
Rhian stopped to look at me, probably sensing that she should just let it go. But the next thing she did was hold my free hand that was on the table, and caressed it with her thumb.
"We'll talk later, I promise. Just... please. I need you to eat." She softly pleaded with her gentle touch and loving stare.
I didn't know what kind of magic Rhian has, but she turned me calm in an instant. She released my hand as I started to take in some of my red-sauce pasta that she ordered. When our eyes met, she threw a small smile like she was contented with my action.
Then she took her phone and I didn't bother to ask who she was gonna text or call. But when my own vibrated as she put down hers, I knew I didn't really have to ask.
I love you so much, baby.
That was her text message which instantly made me smile as well.
I love you more. I replied.
We both continued eating with a more comfortable silence. There were also few glances that ended-up just making me blush.
When we were done, we had a low-key argument who was going to pay for the bill. Rhian insisted that she got it, but me being the usual stubborn self, had that feeling where I shouldn't let the person I was dating pay for anything. Yet she still won.
In a way, it made me mad because I wanted to be responsible with everything during our entire trip. Not that it was so much of a big deal, but I felt like wanting to take all the chances of making it up to her.
I walked outside the restaurant first, yet still glanced behind me, checking if she was following.
"HEY! WATCH IT!" I shouted at the running guy who bumped into Rhian when we were already on the sidewalk.
The man just went on and didn't even apologize for what happened, which only made me more furious.
"Glaiza, calm down. I'm fine." Rhian said as she held my arm, sensing my fire that was about to explode any second.
"Tara na nga." I abruptly dropped the situation and started walking again.
Before I could take a step forward, she pulled me back by my waist. Then her hands went to hold my face.
"Okay, tama na. Stop being mad. I'm sorry." She sadly comforted.
When I was about to pull her hands down, reminding myself that we shouldn't be doing PDA, she suddenly kissed me on the lips. Before I could even fully process what was happening, she already stopped and just connected our foreheads together.
"What are you doing?" I asked since she was pretty much going against her made rule.
"I'm sorry, baby. Hindi na. I'll stop. I'm sorry. Just please, calm down." She softly said as her hands traveled to my shoulders.
"What are you talking about?"
"I'll explain later, I promise. Basta wag ka nang magalit. Please. We're good, okay?" Rhian added.
"But you said th--"
"I know what I said, baby. And I'm really sorry about that." She sincerely apologized.
"May nagawa ba akong mali?" I asked as tears were already forming in my eyes.
"Wala, mahal ko. Wala. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry." She repeated.
Then she caged me in her arms and repeatedly said I love you.
"Can I kiss you now?" I shyly asked when we pulled back from our hug.
Without answering, she reconnected our lips for a slow and gentle kiss. I no longer cared if we were in a public area with a lot of people around us. All my mind could ever process was how fine I was to expose what we have to the entire world.
"I love you." She softly said when our lips separated.
"I love you too."
...
I took Rhian to a seaside deck where it was a bit more quiet. The area was also slightly dark yet lighted enough to set a nice touch of romantic accent.
I sat on a pool lounge chair, Indian-style, while she sat in between my legs. My arms automatically wrapped her waist as the cold night breeze hit our skin. Rhian leaned more onto my body and I settled my face on the valley of her neck.
"Mahal ko, remember what I told you after we made love?" I carefully asked after a few moment of silence.
"You told me to marry you." She answered immediately like I just said it a second ago.
"And you said, you will. One day. Did you mean that?" I timidly asked, hoping she hadn't change her mind yet.
"Of course, mahal ko. Why would I not mean that?"
"I just..." I trailed off, not knowing how to finish my sentence.
Rhian didn't let me continue anymore by kissing me gently on the lips.
"That's always been the dream, baby." She stated.
"You mean, you've already pictured yourself walking down the aisle and standing in front of an altar in a beautiful white gown?" I added details just so we could elaborate our imaginations.
"With you? Yes." She straightforwardly confirmed.
I wanted to keep the mood light with all the casual talks, but her damn serious tone shocked me because it felt like she had already been thinking things through for so long.
"A-Are you saying that you've already b-been dreaming of marrying me?" I stuttered.
"Always have, baby. Always."
I could only hug her tight to stop my tears from flowing. Her sincerity in everything that she says just seemed to always find a way to melt my heart. It felt surreal how she had already been several steps ahead with the planning.
"How about kids? Do you wanna have kids one day?" I randomly asked, testing how far she had gotten.
"With you? Yes." She sincerely answered again.
"Pinag-isipan mo na talaga 'to noon pa no?" My surprise being evident.
"I've always pictured my future with you. Bakit, hindi ba un ang dapat? And besides, if that isn't my main goal in life, why do you think I stayed? Why do you think I waited?"
Her soft tone was only making me cry more. Not to mention how her eyes stayed on mine, proving her honesty in every word.
"So... you really loved me for that long?"
"That's not even long enough, baby. I still plan on loving you for the rest of my life." She cleared, which made my tears finally ran down my cheeks.
"Basically, you mean... forever?" I tried to confirm with a smile. Trying to lighten the mood more.
"Well, do you think forever exists?" She answered with another question.
Within a second, I understood why she never had a hard time answering my questions. It was as easy as 1, 2, 3. I didn't even have to think for more than a second.
"With you? Yes." I mimicked her answer yet still showed my honesty.
That made Rhian smile and then she reconnected our lips for another passionate kiss. No one pulled back for a while, just letting our mouths validate our new arranged plans together.
"I love you." I whispered afterwards.
"I love you too, baby."
Then we both stayed silent and I only hugged her tight from behind. We stared at the calm body of water in front of us while my mind took the time to imagine our future. I didn't have the feeling of being scared of it because it seemed too good to be true, but I was only enveloped by excitement because I couldn't wait to make it all happen.
"How come you're always so different with me?" Rhian suddenly interrupted my thoughts.
"Different, meaning...?"
She faced me before answering.
"Do you know why I asked you to not do PDA and just call me by my name?" She asked.
"Why?"
"I was sort of testing you." She admitted, which confused me a bit.
"Testing me? What for?"
Rhian took a deep breath before answering. I read in her eyes that we'd be talking about something really serious.
"Before we made love, you basically told me that you're usually rough with other people. And I know you used to be bad at caring about feelings. Before, when you didn't twice of leaving them when I needed you, I thought it was only because of our promise of always being there for each other. But tonight..." She paused.
"What?"
"Did you even realize how you were?" She asked.
"Why, mahal ko? Did I do something wrong?" I fearfully wondered.
"That's exactly the thing, baby. You did everything that I asked you to. I know how much you hated pink, yet here you are. Surviving the entire night wearing that. And all I had to do was say please twice." She explained as she pointed to the long sleeves that I was wearing.
I couldn't answer because she had a point. Never in my entire life that I wore the said color, and Rhian was the first person to ever make me.
"When I stopped you from holding my hand and using our terms of endearment, I didn't even have to elaborate my reason. You just went with it. Kahit alam kong nasaktan ka dun." She added.
And again, I only stayed silent.
"You weren't totally okay with what I asked you to do. I know that. Kaya nga nawalan ka ng gana kumain. But I just needed to touch your hand for you to give in. Un lang. Naging okay ka na ulit." Rhian confidently stated.
The more she elaborated what she meant, the more I realized how I really behaved. It made me wonder as well, as to why I act so differently with the woman I love. Like I always turn soft.
"And as far as I know, you are the most stubborn person that I've ever met. And eversince we became bestfriends, never kang pumayag na magbayad ako kapag kumakain tayo sa labas. Except on your birthdays. But tonight, all I had to do to convince you was call you by your full name. Why, baby? Why do you give in that easily?" She asked, showing her little distress on the situation.
"I don't know. Because I love you? Hindi ba sapat na rason un?" I threw back a question while caressing her cheek.
"But sometimes, I don't get it why you're like a completely different person when it comes to other people. Like you always go back to who you were. That Glaiza who never stops building her walls up. Why?" She looked straight into my eyes like she was digging for the truth she seeks.
I couldn't answer right away because my vision started to blur as tears formed in my eyes. The next thing I felt was Rhian's hand on my chest, feeling my heartbeat.
"You haven't completely let go of that anger inside, have you?" She sadly asked.
"I already have, baby. Wala na akong galit na nararamdaman. But after everything that happened to me? To you? You can't blame me if I'm still having a hard time trusting other people. And besides, I no longer have to. You're with me. That's all that matters." I apologetically defended.
"You have to trust other people the same way that you trust me."
"What for, baby? Buti sana kung sarili ko lang ang ipagkakatiwala ko, pero pati kasi ikaw. Opening up to them also means giving them the chance to take a step closer to you. Pwede ka nilang masaktan. And that's what I don't want to happen. I have to protect you with my life." I explained further as my hand traveled to the back of her head.
"Then let go of that fear. I'll be fine. You can't protect me forever." Rhian hit me with the sad reality.
I released a heavy sigh as I was supposed to put my forehead on her shoulder but she stopped me by kissing it instead. Her arms went to wrap my waist loosely.
"Why do you want me to trust them, anyway?" I softly asked.
"Just so they could have the chance to see who you really are. So they would know why I love you." She answered.
"But this is who I am. Ganito na 'ko. And they just have to deal with it."
"No, baby. What I'm seeing is a guarded version of you. You're trying to make yourself look strong all the time. Yet the truth is, you're not. Not all the time. Because you're still just human. May hangganan ka." She comforted.
Her words were too honest and gentle that they made my tears ran down my cheeks again. Rhian immediately wiped them with her thumb.
"Enough building walls. Expose that kindness inside of you just waiting to be released. It's in you, baby. It always has. Yes, the world doesn't deserve you. And it never will. But you're tired. You already suffered long enough." She added, which only made me cry more.
"How come you know about things that I'm not even aware of?"
"Well, duh. That's my duty as your bestfriend. Even though we're more than that." Rhian playfully said.
That made both of us laugh, lightening up the mood. But after a 3-second silence, her expression turned serious again yet remained loving.
"I don't want to be selfish in a way that I'd be happy because you're gentle with only me. I mean... why would I isolate you? Why would I stop you from being the person that you truly are? I'm not your only exception, baby. You were born that way." She further convinced.
Somehow, I was starting to feel drained because I knew she had every point right. But it was the great thing about loving your bestfriend. They continue to tell you your mistakes and flaws. They still wouldn't sugarcoat what they say.
"Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko."
"It's not that complicated. Pakawalan mo ako. In that way, mapakakawalan mo rin ang sarili mo." She casually stated.
I looked straight into her eyes and then caressed her cheek with the back of my fingers. It felt like I could just go on with my life just staring at the most genuine person I've ever met. Which she truly was.
"Okay ka na ba talaga?" I softly asked.
There was a part of me which was still a bit terrified that maybe unconsciously, she hadn't let go of her past yet. I remembered clearly that it wasn't long ago when she had her last panic attack which I caused.
She smiled and then kissed me before answering.
"Why do you think I was already able to make love with you?"
Then it was my turn to throw a smile.
"I'm fine, baby. And even if I'm not, then I will be. Because no matter what happens, at the end of everyday... I still have you in my life. And that makes the world a little less terrifying." She added with nothing but honesty.
Those words caused another tear to drop from my eye down to my cheek. And with just that, I understood what she meant because I've always felt the same way. That having her in my life just makes everything better and lighter.
I hugged her tightly as I shoved my face into her shoulder.
"Why is it that you always turn me soft and weak?" I softly said, keeping it a rhetorical question.
Rhian held my face to make me meet her orbs once again.
"Weak? Why, baby? Ganun ba nararamdaman mo? You feel weak whenever you're with me?" She asked.
It was probably just a wrong choice of words from my side, and I was expecting a sad tone from her. Yet all I got was something that was still pulling me into a realization.
I looked deeper into her eyes to seek for my needed peace of mind. My heart pumped a few beats faster when I saw the one thing that I've always been blind to see. The answer wasn't around me. It never was.
I didn't need to let go of anything. I didn't need to change or become someone else. All I needed has always been with me.
"No." I shortly answered as I stared at her a bit longer.
"How do I make you feel, then?" Rhian asked, being somehow timid.
"Unguarded. Vulnerable. Real. Just... me."
All those years, I thought that I was the strong one between us. I thought I was the one meant to protect and take care of her. But now I realized that it has always been the other way around.
She was it.
She was the one keeping me grounded. My anchor to reality. The sun that always comes after a rainy day. The weight that slows me down whenever time ticks a little too fast. The strength to my every weakness, but also the only water that stops my fire.
Rhian was far from being fragile just like how I've always assumed she was. She has always been the one to pull me back everytime I get lost in the dark. The only one who can set me free in the world that was trying to cage me from the beginning. I finally realized that I needed her more than she needed me.
Rhian wasn't just my bestfriend or the woman I love and meant to spend my life with. She was my soul. My hero. The one who destroyed my useless armor. She was the epitome of my needed truth. With her, I was bare. Whole. Indestructible.
She was the person who fought for me. She was my reality, my balance, and most importantly... my warrior. The one thing that I've always needed was... her. Her love, her purity, and her veracity. And all my life had to seek to embrace my final edge was that one trace. That single light from Rhian. That connection from a true brave soul.
A fighter's touch.
THE END
***********
Hindi niyo inexpect na last chapter na no? Until you read the title of the chapter. Sorry, guys. Hindi ko talaga sinabi para chill lang tayong lahat. But the good news is... may epilogue pa. So, don't worry. May isa pa tayong chapter. 😉
I know there were some of you who already got the main plot, based from the previous comments. But how was the revelation in the end? Yes, un talaga un. From the start, si Rhian ang fighter na tinutukoy sa title. And I hope y'all liked how that went.
Sa epilogue na ako maglalagay ng mahabang message para sa inyo. Ayoko munang magpaalam dahil magkikita-kita pa naman tayo dun. Hahaha. Sorry medyo nalate ang update. There were some stuff that I needed to focus on the past days. But thank you for waiting, guys. I promise to make the epilogue as good as possible. We'll see! 👌